Each tear that fell from her eyes and rolled onto her cheeks felt like a fresh gash tearing at his heart. Her eyes glistened with fear as they regarded the person in front of her – he, who was the cause of those terrible tears. He wanted to reach out and wipe them away. He wanted to scream to her that he was sorry, but when he tried to speak, nothing happened. It was agonizing, staring at those endless tears, the bitterness and fear in those bright brown pupils. The worst part was the foreboding truth that he would not be able to escape from this terrible nightmare, this terrible haunting, perhaps, ever…

“Sungjong-a~”

Someone was calling him, shaking his arm gently. Sungjong opened his eyes slowly, noticing the wetness around his closed eyelids. His palms and forehead were dotted with sweat again; his teddy bear, abused from his hard grip. Wearily, Sungjong sat up in his bottom bunk.  Hoya stood by his bed, telling him to get up. Sungjong dragged himself off the bunk, ignoring his aching muscles. Myungsoo was half- in one corner of their dorm-style room, dressing.

The Infinite members had kept fairly similar rooming arrangements from their old home. The dorm-style rooms consisted of two bunk beds to a room, allowing four people. Sungjong, Hoya, Sungyeol, and Myungsoo were in one room, while Sunggyu, Woohyun, and Dongwoo shared a room across from them. Sungjong’s room also had neighbors – two male acting trainees who shared a room next to them.

For the most part, the Woolim Company building’s trainee housing dorms were neat and cozy. They were no doubt simply decorated, but Sungjong reveled at the spacious rooms that contrasted dramatically from their old, clamped quarters. Even with the array of their half-unpacked bags scattered around every which way, the floor was still visible in almost all places.

All of the occupants used one large bathroom facility a few doors down the hall, which contained several curtained off shower areas, a good number of toilets and sinks, and a large, wide mirror.

Sungjong lugged his body to the bathrooms, dragging his heels. Once he got there, the large mirror faced him, and inside it, his own frail, pale figure. Sungjong grimaced at his own reflection. His hair clung to his forehead in lumps from sweating, his eyelids drooped over his dilated pupils, and massive dark circles were drawn under his eyes like heavy bruises. The rest of his skin was stunningly pale in the white light of the bathroom, and with only his small figure occupying the whole, large facility, he seemed insignificantly small and pitiful.

Just then, someone flushed from one of the toilets, and Sunggyu’s figure poked out from a door. “Hey Jjong! Sleep well?” asked the older boy as he washed his hands, hair ruffled and messy, sporting a white t-shirt and black sweat pants.

“Ehhh…” mumbled Sungjong, in a half-response.

Sunggyu chuckled, then stared at Sungjong’s reflection in the large mirror, squinting his eyes until they became nothing more than lines. “Sungjong-a, you have dark circles under your eyes as big as hockey pucks…” the leader hyung commented, drying his hands and coming over to Sungjong, peering into the small boy’s drained face.

“Jjong-a, are you not sleeping well at night? Are the other kids bothering you?” Sunggyu continued, “I’ll beat em up for you, if you need me to!”

“No hyung, I’m fine; I just had a bad night last night,” replied Sungjong, taking even breaths to make sure he didn’t look any sicklier.

“Lee Sungjong, I doubt those dark circles accumulated over last night. If you’re having trouble sleeping, tell me, so I can try to help,” Sunggyu gripped one of Sungjong’s shoulders, squeezing it reassuringly, “I don’t want Infinite’s pretty faced Maknae to look like a beat up zombie, okay?”

Sungjong nodded, feeling a pull at his heart as he held Sunggyu hyung’s worried gaze. Sunggyu stood in front of him for a moment, seemingly trying to see through Sungjong’s frail face.

“hehe, I might just go and beat up the kiddos in your room, just for the heck of it…” trailed off Sunggyu’s voice as he exited the bathrooms. Sungjong was once again alone in the great, remote space, staring at his pathetic reflection. He felt bad, worrying Sunggyu hyung. As he focused on his dilated pupils, memories of his nightmare came flooding into his brain, making him wince.

The nightmare, without question, was about the girl, Hyera. The same nightmare, the same image of her dreadful tears, kept haunting his sleep night after night, ever since his last encounter with her with the vending machines. Sungjong remembered the night too well, when he had spilled to the girl his obsession with her eyes, his fear of her, and finally, his request for her help in ridding the problem. He remembered grimly how the girl’s fearful, terrified eyes regarded him with dread, how she had run away in alarm at Sungjong’s ridiculous request.  Since then, the nightmares of Hyera and her frightening, painful tears, kept Sungjong up at nights or forced him to fret in restless sleep, leaving him mentally and physically exhausted. Even during the day, the same image seemed to follow him, leaving him dumb and restless at the same time as he tried to concentrate on his work. A second week had passed, and by now, Sungjong was on the verge of breaking down from the fatigue.

The image of her crying miserably seared in his brain, stinging the back of his eyes. Sungjong stumbled over to the nearest sink and d its edges for support, hanging his head as pain - he wasn’t sure whether actually physical or just mental – shot through his head. Or was it clenching at his heart? All he knew was that he would be suffering like this, infinitely, if he didn’t do something about it.

The other thing that bothered him so much was the fact that in the past two weeks since he’d encountered Hyera in the hall, he hadn’t seen her again, at all. He’d seen Jiae numerous times, even multiple times a day since she and Myungsoo always hung out now that the Infinite members lived in the Company building. He’d even seen the other trainee girls around repeatedly, and in reality, it was difficult not to encounter people who lived in the building at some point, but Hyera seemed to be able to avoid Sungjong a little too skillfully. This worried Sungjong. He worried that he’d somehow formed a barrier between them, in which Hyera would perpetually avoid seeing Sungjong, ever, and Sungjong would be suffering from the guilt, the obsession, and whatever else was paining him, endlessly.

Realizing that he still clutched the edges of the sink rather maniacally, Sungjong straightened up and looked into the mirror. Just in time too, as Gwonjong, one of the acting trainees, strolled into bathroom. A tall, handsome boy of 21, Gwonjong was a friendly, hilarious fellow, and as he walked in, he greeted Sungjong cheerfully.

“Morning Sungjong!”

Through the mirror, Sungjong cracked a smile that was ill-fitting for his pale, sickly face. “Hey Gwonjong hyung,”

As Gwonjong began to wash his face in a sink a few down, Sungjong breathed calmly and the faucet. He ran his hands over the cold water, taking refuge in the soothing coolness, settling his mind.

Sungjong finally finished washing, brushing his teeth, dressing in clothes appropriate for practicing in the dance studio, and joined the rest of the Infinite members in the lounging room. Surprisingly, the Infinite members were having breakfast with the girl group trainees - Jiae, Soojung, Dahee, Yejin – and the two male acting trainees - Gwonjong, and Hoshin.

Soojung and Hoshin passed boxed breakfasts and bottled waters to the occupants of the room. Sungjong went over and plopped down next to Hoya on a sofa, noticing a gap in the number of girls. Hyera wasn’t there.

“Soojung unnie, where’s Hyera unnie?” Yejin asked, speaking Sungjong’s mind.

“She took her breakfast and said she needed to go somewhere,” replied Soojung, “Maybe to meet with some of the staff? She’s needed to go to a lot of places lately.”

Sungjong’s heart skipped a beat as he listened in on their conversation. Dongwoo, Hoya, and Woohyun both had earphones in, tapping foot or finger as they examined the contents of the breakfast box. Sunggyu and Sungyeol chatted with Gwonjong. Myungsoo sat next to Jiae on the floor, comparing whose box contained more food. When both decided that Jiae’s box was more scrumptious, they proceeded to play rock, paper, scissors, Myungsoo wanting to steal the bigger box.

Jiae ended up winner four out of five rounds. Triumphantly, she grabbed the breakfast box and pointed a finger at Myungsoo, rubbing her victory in his face.

“What? I obviously eat more than you! You’re too fat to eat all of that, you pig,” insulted Myungsoo. His hair fell over his forehead rather messily, and he resembled a grumbling child, complaining about his food.

“What?! How dare you?? I happen to have an awesome S-line! You’re the one who needs to watch your weight, flabby-arms!” Jiae retorted, displaying the absurdity she felt toward Myungsoo’s insult full in her face.

“Ohh S-line huh? Well then I guess you can stuff your face all you want to! Here, have some more! That way you can make your S-line curvier!” Myungsoo took a spoonful of rice and tried to usher it into Jiae’s mouth.

“Ha!” Jiae snorted, chomping her jaws down on Myungsoo’s spoon and engulfing its contents, “That’s right! The more I eat, the prettier I’ll get! Give me your food too so I can look gorgeous!!!” Mouthful of rice, Jiae began scooping the food in Myungsoo’s box into her own.

“Ya!!!!! You fatty!!!!” exclaimed Myungsoo, combatting Jiae’s rapid spoon with his own. He knocked his spoon against Jiae’s as she was transporting rice onto her box, causing the rice to land on the floor.

The two looked up simultaneously and locked eyes. Then they burst out laughing, Jiae sporting a few pieces of rice on her lips. This caused Myungsoo to laugh even more hysterically, and he fell on the floor, clutching his stomach.

Half of the occupants in the room decided to ignore the nonsense going on with the two on the floor, while the other half regarded with disgusted disbelief. Hoshin especially, since he was not used to Myungsoo and Jiae’s odd relationship, stared at them with an open frown.

Sungjong watched Myungsoo and Jiae fool around, feeling a pull at his heart. His eyes saw the merry people in front of him, but his mind raced with thoughts of Hyera. She always managed to avoid him, choosing to isolate herself from interaction with others because he would be there too. When Hoya placed Sungjong’s breakfast box on his lap, Sungjong grabbed it and stood up.

“I need to go speak to Dongmin hyung…” Sungjong mumbled, walking out of the room briskly, making sure to dodge the spilled rice near Myungsoo and Jiae.

Out in the hall, Sungjong turned and headed toward the staircase. The Company building was only three stories tall, with a nice, open rooftop for a sort of fourth floor. Sungjong liked going to the roof top on his spare time by himself, to practice girl group dances in secret. He had learned 4minute’s “Mirror Mirror”, Miss A’s “Bad Girl, Good Girl”, and many more songs that way.

The climb to the roof was more arduous than Sungjong remembered, and he found himself huffing and puffing as he stopped to rest somewhere between the third floor and the end, clutching his food. His lack of substantial rest due to the constant nightmares most likely contributed to his fatigue.

Once he began the climb up the empty staircase again, he ended up at the entrance to the roof top fairly quickly, and with a sigh of relief, he pushed open one of the doors to be greeted by a warm envelope of sunshine. The weather was still warm and cozy, and the oxygen was delicious as it filled Sungjong’s lungs.

The roof top was divided into several sections, separated by small blocks of concrete or rows of ventilation fans. Sungjong walked toward his usual spot at a corner where he could look out over a nice park in the middle of the city, dotted with comforting patches of public greenery. But as he neared the corner, he was stopped by the sight of a figure sitting cross legged on the ground.

The figure was leaning her head down, her loose hair falling slightly over her face, as she scooped up food from what seemed to be a breakfast box identical to Sungjong’s own, into . He saw that a thin white line s down from her hair to her neck and into an Ipod next to her on the ground. She munched her food in silence, a faint breeze sweeping over her slight figure and making her look up momentarily.

Luckily, she raised her head away from where Sungjong stood. Her brown eyes sparkled as the sun caught their brilliance, and the light became trapped in the glowing balls of her eyes, radiating.

With a start, Sungjong realized that when her eyes weren’t searing into his brain, making him suffer, they were actually quite… beautiful. Hyera’s eyes, that haunted him every night and made him cringe in fear, were beautiful.

This is what she does to avoid me, Sungjong thought with a wince. He stood in his spot and watched the lonely girl, eating silently, accompanied only by the music in her ears. There was a strange feeling settling in his heart; it was different from the pain and suffering Sungjong usually felt when the image of Hyera’s fearful eyes haunted him. It wasn’t exactly a cold, menacing chill, but not exactly warmth either. His heartbeat quickened its pace involuntarily, and Sungjong knew that it was risky for him to continue standing there in the open. Instead, he took refuge next to two large ventilation fans and a concrete block. Now Hyera’s whole side was open to Sungjong’s view, while he himself sat concealed safely from her’s. Leaning back on the concrete wall, Sungjong placed the breakfast box in his lap, snapped it open, and dug in, all the while watching Hyera.

Sitting in his hidden spot, carefully watching the girl in her isolation, Sungjong felt a mixture of raw emotions flooding his insides, crashing and colliding with one another. He was feeling better than this morning, by loads, but despite the comforting sunlight warming up his skin, he wasn’t completely soothed. His insides tingled at the sight of Hyera in front him, real this time, not within a dream. He had realized for the first time that Hyera’s eyes were truly beautiful, but that didn’t ensure any type of guarantee that he would escape the daunting nightmares of her. And yet, he had missed seeing her in person too. Watching from afar was a new sensation for Sungjong; and he was glad that he didn’t have to control himself from blowing up due to the menace of her eyes.

Sungjong seemed to have lost any sense of time, munching slowly on his food. Hyera, having finished her meal, sipped from her water bottle, looking out at the view from the roof, sometimes angling her head toward the sky to stare at the clouds and the vastness of what stretched above.

Somehow, despite the abnormality of the situation, Sungjong wished time would stop completely, with the two of them like this. He wished he could always remember this image of Hyera, peaceful, quiet, with her beautiful eyes, instead of the horrid image of her crying because of Sungjong. His thoughts were interrupted, however, when Hyera suddenly jumped up with the empty breakfast box and water bottle in hand. Without looking over to where Sungjong was hidden, the girl made her way over to the door that led to the staircase and exited the roof, all in a matter of seconds.

Taken back by Hyera’s sudden exit, Sungjong d in his pocket for his phone to check the time. It read, 7:42a.m. The Infinite members were to report to the dance studio at 8a.m to practice the choreography for their new promotion song “Paradise”, from their repackaged album.

Sungjong looked down at the box in his lap. There was some food still left, but he didn’t really want to eat anymore. He waited a bit to make sure that Hyera was completely gone before embarking on the long climb down the stairs.  

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Thank you for reading!

I hope you liked it :)