A/N: Quick chapter 17 recap - The Infinite members are moving out into their new dorms. :)

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TO: Jiae

FROM: L-sama

Sent: 10.12.11 8:12a.m.

Break it to her as gently as you can. I know it’s easier said than done. I’m sorry you have to do this. Let me know how it goes.

TO: Myungsoo

FROM: Jiae dongsaeng

Sent: 10.12.11 8:14a.m.

I will, I will. You know, you were right afterall. Staying friends is the best way. Actually, it’s the only way.

*****

Hyera was smart and strong, and Jiae had known it all along. It had been a controlled, almost mechanic process, both girls adorned in expressionless faces. At first, Jiae had to tell Hyera that she and Myungsoo had found out about Hyera’s relationship with Sungjong. Jiae was careful to gently but firmly remind Hyera the risks of having such a relationship. After that, with a cringe to her heart, Jiae had to break to Hyera the news that Myungsoo had relayed to her: Sungjong and the rest of the Infinite members were moving out of the Woolim Company building into their new dorm. Jiae didn’t have to explain step by step why Hyera and Sungjong’s relationship would suffer from the news; Hyera could figure it out by herself. And then, the realization that dawned on her face, that made her pupils quiver for one slight moment before she once again took control of herself, was the hardest part. Jiae and Hyera had talked some more after that; Jiae did not see it harmful to confess to her friend her own predicaments with Myungsoo. There were no questions of what, when, or why, only the simplest expressions, with their real meanings hidden under each syllable and each tone of voice.

“Are you going to talk to him?” asked Jiae.

“Yeah, tonight. It’s the only opportunity we’ll have, isn’t it?” Hyera answered.

“He’s not going to ask you to wait. He’s not going to ask you to do anything. Everything will totally be up to you.” Jiae remarked.

“Is that what Myungsoo oppa did, or rather didn’t, for you?” It was Hyera’s turn to ask. Her even tone implied no harshness, just remorse at their familiar situations.

“Yes,” said Jiae, her eyes curving with her slight smile, “And even when he didn’t ask me to wait, I did. I still am.”

A silence passed between the two girls as they talked in private in their dorm room. The other girls had been rounded out by a reliable Soojung, who asked no questions, just gave them space.

“But that’s not what you have to do, if you don’t want to.” Jiae continued, “It’s just that, with the situations we’re in, friendship is the only way. Myungsoo was smart enough to figure that out, even though he doesn’t give himself nearly enough credit for having been so smart all this time.”

Hyera turned to Jiae, her eyes glittering, set straight. “Thanks for everything, Jiae-yah. Thanks for looking out for me. I think I know what I need to do,” she said.

Jiae knew that most of Hyera’s distress, anxiety, and sorrow were buried deep under those words of thanks, not daring to surface in voice. She was sad that she couldn’t be any more help to Hyera in any way, that she had to watch her friend and teammate break her relationship with Sungjong so brutally and so abruptly. There were no more words necessary between the two. Instead, Jiae straightened up and pulled Hyera into a hug, patting her lightly on the back. She could feel Hyera let out a small, shaky breath, but Hyera was too strong to cry or sulk. That’s when Jiae knew, that Hyera’s feelings for Sungjong were as strong as Hyera herself.

*****

“For Infinite’s brand new dorm!!” screeched Sunggyu, leading the toast around the group of people gathered in the lounging room. To celebrate the Infinite members moving out, Sunggyu and Dongwoo together were treating Infinite, the Woolim girl trainees, and the actor trainees to fried chicken. The managers weren’t allowing alcohol for the night, so in substitute, the party settled with canned sodas or just waters, but just the chicken treat was enough to cheer up most of attendees of the miniature celebration.

When Myungsoo came over and sat next to Jiae on the floor without giving a care whether or not anyone else in the room objected, Jiae raised her eyebrow at him, but decided not to bother with it too much. After all, everyone was too busy eating, and really, Myungsoo had done such a good job of making him and Jiae seem like such best friends, that no one thought to think otherwise.

It was a little weird, though, when he started doing odd things, like open her drink for her, give her napkins, and even feed her little radish cubes while they ate. At the radish cube part, Jiae couldn’t help but spit out somewhat rashly, “What are you doing?”

All Myungsoo did in response was smile, as he held up the radish cube in front of her until she ate it. Jiae rolled her eyes as she chewed on the salty cube. She had to admit, the whole silent feeding thing was cute.

She took several sideways glances at Sungjong and Hyera while everyone ate in their own spaces on the floor. They sat as far away from each other as space in the room would allow, Hyera talking with Soojung, Yejin, and Dahee while Sungjong ate with Dongwoo.

Jiae had just caught sight of an awkward eye contact between Sungjong and Hyera across the room, when someone grabbed her chin and forced her head to turn, making her come face to face with Myungsoo. He had a bit of fried chicken skin stuck to the left corner of his mouth.

“I know you’re concerned, but don’t worry about them. It’s their business now. This is the last time we’ll get to spend time together for a long time too, you know. Pay a little more attention to me, will you?” said Myungsoo, his eyes determined but soft.

A low chuckle escaped Jiae’s lips, and without responding, she just took another bite out of a chicken wing she’d been tearing. It was her fourth piece.

“Yah, aren’t you supposed to be watching your weight?” Myungsoo questioned teasingly.

“Shut up!” Jiae shot back, reaching for a fifth piece.

At some point in the night, when a designator was needed for a drink run, Sungyeol and Woohyun suggested that everyone play a game, the unlucky loser becoming the drink runner. What started off as a huge single rock, paper, scissors, quickly came down to the final five: Jiae, Soojung, Hyera, Hoya, and Myungsoo.

“Okay this round is going to be it! I can feel it!” Sungyeol cried as he started counting off for the five people still in the game to throw out their choices.

“Rock,… Paper,… Scissors,… SHOOT!”

Jiae threw out her index and middle fingers, making a pair of scissors. Right next to her, Myungsoo had also put out scissors. When she raised her head at the other three, and the rest of the spectators watching with too content faces sticking out at her, she couldn’t believe it had come down so… so fatefully.  

She and Myungsoo had put out scissors, while Soojung, Hyera, and Hoya had shown their fists, rock. “Ohh! You two are it!” Woohyun said obnoxiously. Hoya was kissing his fist ceremoniously, while Soojung and Hyera high fived. Sunggyu was already handing Myungsoo a handful of bills. “Grape soda!” someone called. And then another eleven drink orders.

“What kind of rotten luck is this!?” Jiae complained as she and Myungsoo came out of the noisy lounging room into the silent hallway.

“I think it was good luck,” Myungsoo said, in a low voice that made Jiae turn to him with a skeptical look. Myungsoo grinned at her in a goofy way, which made Jiae do another double take, and then, in a moment of confusion, Jiae found that he was slipping his hand into hers, and that they were holding hands out in the hallway, plainly for anyone who may come along to see.

The look Jiae gave Myungsoo must have implied to him something along the lines of ‘are you crazy’ because Myungsoo then said in his defense, “What!? Let’s forget about reality for right now. Let’s just say we’re in a different universe where I can hold your hand whenever I want to!”

Jiae shook her head at Myungsoo fondly. “You know, that whole smart thing you always put up is all an act, isn’t it? You’re actually just a dumb goofball.” She remarked.

Myungsoo began to walk toward their destination – the vending machines – quickly, pulling Jiae by her hand. “Nopes,” he said, “Just when you’re around.”

That was cheesy. Jiae both laughed and frowned at the same time, whining incomprehensible sounds at Myungsoo’s ridiculousness.

On their way back to the lounging rooms, bags of drinks in one hand but the other still holding onto each other, the mood became quieter. Myungsoo faintly hummed the melody of Infinite’s Paradise as they walked.

“What if…” Myungsoo spoke up, stopping his humming in the middle of the chorus, “What if I told you, that for once, I don’t… I don’t want to take the safe route… I want to be more forward, like Sungjong. I want to… enjoy what I can, while I still can. Does that make sense?”

They stopped walking so that Jiae could turn and face Myungsoo, with concern in her eyes. She was worried about him; she was worried he was blaming himself for Sungjong and Hyera having to break up. But she soon found out, that wasn’t it. Because once they stopped in the silent hall and once Jiae was turned to him, Myungsoo was pushing her, not forcefully but still moving her, to the wall, pressing his lips into hers.

Jiae didn’t hit the wall, it just ended up supporting her back as she became trapped between it and Myungsoo. She wasn’t exactly trapped either; she was just enveloped, physically, but also emotionally, by a swathing of heat that made her almost dizzy.

Myungsoo’s lips and breath were hot. His hand gripping hers was hot. All this heat was what he had been pressing down inside him since they had begun to develop feelings for each other that weren’t just friendly. And even though Jiae was overwhelmed by it, she was glad as well, because now she knew for sure, that she hadn’t waited in vain, that Myungsoo really did like her as much she did him.

Myungsoo kissed her, and Jiae kissed him back. It was as if some force was allowing them to have this secret opportunity, because no one came their way; no one was there to witness the scandalous act the idol star and the idol-member-in-training were committing. The heat and dizziness continued, but Jiae would have pressed on endlessly with what they were doing, if it weren’t for the fact that after a while, her strength gave away, and she dropped the bag of drinks she’d been holding in her free hand. The cans and bottles rolled out of the bag and down the hall, forcing Myungsoo to come apart from her lips, forcing his heavily lidded eyes to gaze at her for a long, impassioned moment, before he left her sight to retrieve the drinks.

By the time Myungsoo had refilled Jiae’s plastic bag with the drinks, Jiae had come away from the hall wall, her face reddened.

“This isn’t like you Myungsoo-yah. You have more control than this,” Jiae remarked out of the blue. He was standing next to her like he was lost, his shoulders drooped.

“When do you think I’ll be able to do that to you again?” Myungsoo said. Even as he asked, both Jiae and he knew it was pointless to try to answer.  Myungsoo wasn’t planning to quit being in Infinite for a very long time, and Jiae wasn’t planning on giving up her dreams any time soon, either.

Jiae swallowed a shaky breath, telling herself mentally to be strong and brutal. It was hard to not just let go and throw herself at Myungsoo with that sad face of his right in front of her, but she managed to garner up enough will power to state firmly, “Let’s go back. They’re gonna wonder where we are.”

Without much of any kind of discussion, Jiae and Myungsoo delivered the drinks to the people in the lounging room. The chicken had exhausted itself, and so had most of the members, and it was getting late. Finally, after cleaning up all the mess they had made with the food, Sunggyu announced, “I think it’s about bed time!”

The separation between the girls and boys as everyone headed toward their dorms in unison made it impossible for Jiae and Myungsoo to have any more private conversations. All Myungsoo managed to do as people split ways in the hallway was punch Jiae’s arm lightly, saying, “Good night, dream about me,” in a joking voice, making Sungyeol add in, “No Jiae-yah! Dream about me!!”

As Jiae slipped into bed with the other trainee girls, she couldn’t help but think to herself exasperatedly, so this is it. She and Myungsoo weren’t going to have a chance, for a very long time. Her mind unconsciously wandered to her and Myungsoo kissing in the hall, for once, not caring whether anyone caught them or not…

The buzzing of her phone right next to her head startled her so much that she jolted up in a sitting position on her top bunk bed.

TO: Jiae

FROM: L-sama

Sent: 10.13.11 12:11a.m.

What were you thinking about?

When Jiae read the text from Myungsoo, she rolled her eyes. She had been all too naïve for thinking that she was getting away from Myungsoo that easily.

TO: Myungsoo

FROM: Jiae dongsaeng

Sent: 10.13.11 12:15a.m.

Get out of my head, smarty pants.

TO: Jiae

FROM: L-sama

Sent: 10.13.11 12:16a.m.

Your head? Oh, so you’re thinking about me, huh? Okay. Sungjong is leaving. Btw.

TO: Myungsoo

FROM: Jiae dongsaeng

Sent: 10.13.11 12:17a.m.

Already?? Hyera’s still here… Oh, oops, I think she’s waiting on me.

Jiae peeked down at Hyera from her top bunk. The poor girl had her eyes wide open, staring up blankly at the ceiling, waiting while all the other girls slept soundlessly around her. Jiae waved a hand at her. Hyera displayed recognition in her eyes, then question. Jiae was trying to tell her that it was okay for her to leave, since Jiae knew where she was going. Hesitantly, only after Jiae insistently waved her hand at her to go, Hyera got out of her bed on the floor and dodged out of the dorm, Jiae watching with a pang in her heart. What were they going to say to each other? Jiae wondered. She hoped Hyera would be back soon. Afterall, weren’t goodbyes better short and sweet?

TO: Jiae

FROM: L-sama

Sent: 10.13.11 12:20a.m.

Technically, we could sneak out and meet up too, you know.

No, apparently, goodbyes weren’t better short and sweet. Not with Kim Myungsoo. If this even counted as a goodbye. Lying back down on her pillow, Jiae shook her head at Myungsoo, though he obviously couldn’t see her. She clicked reply on the message from Myungsoo, deciding to tell him instead that she was actually shaking her head at him. She was tired, but if she slept, tomorrow would come all too soon. What was she saying goodbye to, anyway? His touch? His lips? Jiae’s eyes widened as she caught herself thinking. Snap out of it Yoo Jiae, and just tell him to go to sleep.

TO: Myungsoo

FROM: Jiae dongsaeng

Sent: 10.13.11 12:22a.m.

I’m shaking my head at you. Shouldn’t you be asleep by now?

TO: Jiae

FROM: L-sama

Sent: 10.13.11 12:23a.m.

I’ve been thinking…

TO: Myungsoo

FROM: Jiae dongsaeng

Sent: 10.13.11 12:26a.m.

Okay.. about what?

TO: Jiae

FROM: L-sama

Sent: 10.13.11 12:28a.m.

I don’t want to wait until you and I are old and retired to be with you. I’m not going to make you wait that long. But I think, it would be okay, if instead of waiting that long, we just waited for a short while, until you debut.

TO: Myungsoo

FROM: Jiae dongsaeng

Sent: 10.13.11 12:30a.m.

What? What do you mean…

TO: Jiae

FROM: L-sama

Sent: 10.13.11 12:31a.m.

We won’t have to wait that long, then. We can just wait until you and the other girls debut, and people get to know you better. I’ll be working hard until then too.

TO: Myungsoo

FROM: Jiae dongsaeng

Sent: 10.13.11 12:34a.m.

And then what?

TO: Jiae

FROM: L-sama

Sent: 10.13.11 12:31a.m.

By then, we can tell the public about us. It’ll be hard initially, but as long as you’re okay with it, I’m willing to.

It was completely silent in the girls’ dorm room. So when Jiae let out a shaky breath of air, it sounded like the loudest cry. The blue light of her phone screen illuminated her face, her contemplative expression. She didn’t know what to respond.

TO: Jiae

FROM: L-sama

Sent: 10.13.11 12:36a.m.

You can wait until then, right? You can be mine until then, and then… forever after that too? If we tell the public we’re together, then they’ll expect us to stay together, you know.

*****

TO: Myungsoo

FROM: Jiae dongsaeng

Sent: 10.13.11 12:40a.m.

Okay.

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A/N: Hi! Finally, another update!

I didn't initially mean to make this an all Myungae couple chapter, but it just happened that way~ More Sungjong/Hyera to come in chapter 19!

I hope everyone had a great 4th of July! Even if you don't celebrate American independence day, there's clear reason to celebrate this year, because of Super Junior's awesome comeback, eh?? ^^

y, Free, & Single, I'm ready to Bingo!