Jackson

I was dreaming, right? That's what I thought as I stared at Mark from across the table at lunch. He wasn't actually willingly sitting with us. My eyes narrowed, almost into a glare, as I tried to figure his angle. What did he want? He had to have wanted something. There was no way one basketball game a few weeks prior made him have a change of heart, right?

Yet, maybe my crazy theory of annoying him until he liked me had been proven valid. He laughed and smiled a lot more around us now. I felt like I could almost call him my friend, which was weird but after a few days, I forced myself to stop questioning it. Even if this was some kind of game to him, I wanted to live in the dark for a little longer before facing the light.

I kept pondering this as I stared into space sitting there in first period waiting for the bell to ring. I didn't even notice him next to me until he said something.

"So we all down for another game this weekend? Some of my extended is visiting and I'm gonna need any excuse to spend some time away from home," Bam Bam said to us.

"I'm in. I've got nothing better to do, so I might as well hang out with you guys," Yugyeom replied with a shrug before taking a big bite of apple.

"As if you'd have anyone else to hang out with, loser," I said jokingly. "Count me in. You should ask Jaebeom too, Youngjae."

"Oh, he can't this weekend. He's got some lacrosse game at another college," Youngjae answered, briefly looking up from his lunch. 

"You would know that, wouldn't you?" I shook my head a little and he just rolled his eyes at me. I turned my attention to Mark to ask him next, but his eyes were shut, his face was rather pale, and his right hand was squeezing his chest.

"Hey, you alright? You look like you're gonna pass out or something," I said in concern, turning my body toward him more. He didn't answer for a couple of minutes, as it looked like he was too busy trying to regain his breath. I was just about to suggest going to the nurse, but he opened his eyes once he was finally able to take a deep breath.

"Everything is fine," he said, sounding like he had just finished running a marathon without stopping. I knew better than to think he was completely fine, but I had a feeling if I pushed, all of the progress we had made over the last few weeks would go to waste. So, I just nodded my head.

"Alright. Just making sure," I said. He just looked at me and smiled. "So, are you down for another basketball  game this weekend? All of us except Jaebeom will be there."

"I'll have to check with my mom first, but yeah, that should be fine." He nodded slowly. 

"Cool. Just text me and I'll come pick you up. My dad finally trusts me to drive the car alone," I said excitedly as a clapped a few times.

"And it only took how many failed driving tests? 3? 4? 5 maybe?" Yugyeom said.

"It was only 3 and that teacher was the reason I failed the first time. He so overreacted when I over the speed limit by like 5."

"You probably shouldn't have been going over the speed limit by anything during your driver's test," Youngjae commented. 

I just stared at him. "I think I preferred it when you were always in your phone," I said, earning a small laugh from him. 

Our lunch period carried on and I would glance over at Mark periodically. Not just because I enjoyed looking at him, but also because I wanted to make sure he was okay. But everything seemed to be fine for the rest of the day, as I hadn't heard about anything else happening or seen anything in the few classes we shared. I couldn't seem to make curiosity and concern go away though.

######

The weekend came and I had just arrived at the basketball court with Mark. Yugyeom and Bam Bam were already there playing some one-on-one when we pulled up. We decided to wait for Youngjae to join to officially start, so we just tossed around the ball until we saw him coming running down the sidewalk and onto the court.

"No Youngjae, we don't know where your phone is," I said jokingly as I passed the ball back to Mark.

"That's...not...what...I was...going...to.. say," he said between breathes, bending over and placing his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. We all waited a moment for him to say whatever he was going to say.

"I have good news," he began, though still kind of breathlessly. "You know how they are holding a talent show the last week of school? Well, a few weeks ago I filled out an application to audition and I did today and I got in." Besides his phone, the one thing Youngjae really loved was singing. 

"That's awesome, Youngjae!" said Yugyeom as he high-fived him.

"So, do you have any idea what you're gonna sing?" I asked. 

"No...no, not yet." He seemed flustered now as he shook his head. "I have a playlist of songs I'm considering, but I don't know if any of them are good enough."

"You should show it to us. We'd help you decide," Mark suggested. It was weird coming from him, but it made me a smile a little. Maybe he was having a change of heart.

"You guys really wouldn't mind? It'd be really nice to have someone else's thoughts," Youngjae said. 

"Of course not," I said as I walked closer to him and wrapped an arm around him. "That's what friends are for, right?" Youngjae smiled a little timidly. 

I looked at Mark and he was smiling, too.

Mark

I started to feeling progressively worse as the weekend continued. I tried to hide it, especially around my friends, but by Sunday, I could barely get out of bed without feeling light-headed and dizzy. I tried to rule out the possibility that was I going to have another "episode," but there was really nothing else it could have been. I was staying hydrated and eating properly and getting enough rest. I guess that wasn't enough for my heart, though.

That was the last thing I remember hearing before I passed out on Monday was the answer to some math equation on the board during math class. I woke up to find myself in the hospital. I sighed heavily, disappointed in myself. I was being so careful about what I did and ate so this wouldn't happen again, so I wouldn't be there again. It had been so long since my last episode. 

"Figures," I mumbled as I stared up at the ceiling. "Just when I was starting to feel normal..." ...my heart had to come and remind me that I wasn't.

A soft knock on the door to my room made me turn my head right as Jinyoung walked in the room, holding a small bouquet of flowers.  "Jinyoung? What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I heard what happened today, so I wanted to make sure you were okay," he explained in a concerned tone of voice. "I didn't know if you liked flowers, but I didn't feel right showing up empty-handed." 

I smiled shyly, trying not to blush too much. "Thanks. I think I'm okay now. I've had worse episodes," I said, glancing up at the heart monitor.

"So, this has happened before?" he asked as he finished walking closer, laying the flowers on the bed. 

"Yeah..." I admitted hesitantly. "It's some heart condition. My heart likes to stop working every now and then. I didn't say anything before because I just wanted to be normal and not treated like a liability, you know?"

He lowered his head for a moment as he nodded. "I get that. For the record, though, I wouldn't have treated you any differently. I won't treat you any differently now either. I still like you."

"T-Thanks," I said, feeling my heart skip a beat--but no in the usual bad way it sometimes did.

"I mean it, Mark, I...I really like you," he confessed, now sounding serious. I just looked at him half confused and half in shock as he moved closer to my side. "I know the timing probably , but I've been meaning to tell you for a while. I've kind of not been able to stop thinking about you since the day I almost hit you."

I couldn't help but chuckle at the memory as I temporarily looked away. I guess he took that to mean something else because soon after, he started moving closer, stopping only when faces were mere inches apart. 

"C-Can I?" he asked in a softer, quieter voice. I was still staring at him in his eyes while he was looking at my lips. I didn't move because I couldn't. My body decided to become paralyzed in that moment. 

I wanted to nod. I wanted to kiss him. But at the same time, I didn't.

He kissed me anyway, though it was more of a fleeting peck than a kiss. I didn't know whether to kiss him back or push him off. Somehow, I wanted to do both. I was breathing heavily but silently when his lips pulled away from mine.

I didn't have much time to process anything after he was standing straight again because I saw the door open out of the corner of my eye. I looked over and saw Jackson, Bam Bam, Yugyeom, and Youngjae coming through the door. They rushed in and stood by my side. 

"Oh my god, Mark are you okay?" Yugyeom asked.

"What happened? I heard you like passed out or something," Youngjae said next.

"What was it like riding in the back of an ambulance?" Bam Bam asked excitedly.

"Guys, stop flooding him with questions. He probably doesn't remember much. Right, Mark?" Jackson said rather calmly, but it was clear to see that he was worried. I just nodded my head.

"Well I better go so you guys can visit with him too," Jinyoung said suddenly, putting on a smile. I looked over at him and he nodded, waved bye, and then left the room. I didn't know whether or not to be sad.

"Who was that?" Bam Bam asked as he turned his eyes back to me.

"Jinyoung. He's new, but he's a senior, so you probably haven't seen him around too much," I explained quickly. "And to answer your previous questions, yes I'm fine, yes I did indeed pass out, and yes, I don't remember much," I said trying to lighten up the tense mood. The three of them smiled, but Jackson just stood there with his head down. "Thanks for coming. I know I probably interrupted your schedule."

"No, not really. Bam Bam and I were just walking home when Jackson called us," Yugyeom explained. Bam Bam nodded in agreement.

"You did interrupt my practice, but this seemed more important than any talent show," Youngjae said afterwards, making me smile a little.

They stayed for a bit longer then left. Jackson barely said anything or looked at me the whole time. I was the one who was worried now. 

#######

The next day I got ready to leave the hospital. I was finishing changing back into my normal clothes when I saw Jackson walk in by himself for a change. I smiled when I saw him.

"Hey Jackson, I was just getting ready to leave," I said.

"Your mom picking you up?" he asked, looking and sounding timid almost, which was considering his personality. 

"Yeah, she is. Are you okay? You seem upset or something," I said, turning my full attention to him but still putting on my sweatshirt. 

He looked at me hesitantly. "You got some time to talk?" he asked.

I nodded affirmatively. "My mom shouldn't be here for a little while yet. She just left work now," I answered as I sat back down on the bed. "So, are you going to tell why you look so sad?"

"I'm not sad, I'm just..." He paused to let out a heavy sigh before sitting next to me. "I should have done something earlier," he finally spit out. "I noticed it at lunch last week, but I didn't do anything."

"You mean when I told everything was fine and you understandably replied with 'okay?'" I tried to laugh, but he still had a small pout on his face. "Jackson, this happens sometimes, okay? It's not anyone's fault besides god's maybe for letting me be born this way."

"Well, why the hell didn't you say anything sooner? I could have at least been prepared," he replied. 

"One, because even with all the warning in the word, you couldn't have done anything. And two, because I don't want to be treated like a burden or with special treatment because my heart is bipolar."

He sighed and looked away, dropping his eyes to the floor. "Still, you could have told me, so I wouldn't have been so worried," he said, his coming out as a faint whine, which made me laugh. "I'm serious, this is not a laughing matter. I thought you were gonna die or something," he added even though he was chuckling a little now, too.

"I appreciate the concern, it's nice. Just don't treat me like a walking hazard from now on, alright? I just started liking you, so don't ruin it," I said, giving him the side eye before looking away. 

I saw him begin to grin a little before he replied. "So, you like me, huh?" He nudged me and made me look at him. I huffed and looked away the second I began to blush in the slightest. "I like you, too," he said. When I thought he wasn't looking at me anymore, I let myself smile.

But it couldn't be all smiles and shy glances. Suddenly, I was shoved into some kind of love triangle. I liked them both, but did I like them the way they seemed to like me? Heart problems or not, this year was bound to be anything but normal.

A/N

Hi so I changed this a little. Originally, both Jackson and Jinyoung kissed Mark, but I was like wow that seems a little fast. Admittedly, I'm not great at writing any kind of tension between two people, but hopefully you can sense that Jackson likes Mark. This is a MarkSon fic after all.