Though Yoochun wanted nothing more than to continue onwards to find Yunho, they were stopping early, tucking themselves into a ski chalet high in the mountains. Unlike the other old houses they’d sheltered in, this one was fully functional, as the ski resort it belonged to had merely closed for the summer. The slayers immediately took advantage of the showers, doubling up just so they could conserve hot water. Yoochun admired their close bonds. The only person he ever shared a bath or shower with was Jaejoong. He supposed that today, he’d be doubling up with Junsu. It only made him miss his friend all the more.

The vampires had left the chalet. Yoochun didn’t need to ask to know why. They’d gone to feed, and as much as the thought brought an unpleasant chill down his spine, he found that he just didn’t care. He laughed bitterly to himself. What a sorry excuse for a slayer he was. He could only blame Jaejoong for his sudden indifference. After all, if he condemned a vampire for drinking the blood of humans, he was also condemning Jaejoong. He couldn’t ever lift his stake to Jaejoong, even if his old friend was the blood from his neck, or even Junsu’s for that matter.

Feeling both disgusted and disappointed with himself, Yoochun stood in an upstairs window of the chalet, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared at the mountains, the sky behind them slowly turning grey with dawn. Changmin’s original description of Yunho’s hideaway was nearly dead on. A home in the mountains, surrounded by forests and tucked away in an old shack. The area they were now in fit the bill so cleanly, Yoochun was more than certain they were getting close. Though trusting the vampire they had chained up and tortured for days on end put a bad taste through his mouth, he knew they had little choice. It was trust Changmin, or wander aimlessly for days, searching for the needle in a haystack that was Yunho’s hideaway. By then, Hongbin surely would’ve turned, and Jaejoong would be near impossible to rescue. Yoochun was already cringing over the thoughts of Jaejoong going through the withdrawal symptoms Changmin was showing. Taekwoon was feeding him frequently enough, but Yoochun could see the madness in his eyes.

“Chun,”

Yoochun turned, seeing Junsu standing in the door of his room, holding a towel out to him.

“Shower’s free,” he said calmly.

Nodding, Yoochun stepped over to meet him, taking the towel from his hands and following him to the bathroom. The water was lukewarm as he stood beneath the spray, silently alternating between the dry area and the shower itself as they scrubbed down their bodies. There was no soap, save for the smallest of bars that must’ve been complimentary from the company that owned the chalet. Yoochun used it to wash his body as well as his hair, handing it off to Junsu when he was done.

“You’re terribly quiet,” Junsu said as they dried themselves off.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Yoochun said quietly. It was true though, he realized. Yoochun had barely spoken since they’d set out to find Yunho. There were a few words here and there of course, but nothing significant enough to even count as communication.

“We’ll save Jaejoong,” Junsu laid a hand on his shoulder, offering an encouraging smile. “We will,”

“I miss him so much,” Yoochun rasped, feeling his eyes burn. “Five years...and then we finally see him again and he’s taken away just like last time,”

“I know, I know,” Junsu sighed. He removed his hand and yanked his shirt over his head, slinging the towel over his shoulder. “Come with me. I should probably give it to you anyway,”

Obliging, Yoochun slid after him, his towel dragging limply behind him as he tossed it over the stair bannister with every other towel. Junsu crouched by his discarded jacket and from an inside pocket, he removed a very familiar book.

“Jaejoong’s journal,” Yoochun rasped.

“You were going to leave it behind,” Junsu smiled weakly. “But I picked it up. I felt like I should,”

Taking the book with shaky fingers, Yoochun opened the pages to find the photograph tucked between the blank sheets. His eyes immediately found Jaejoong, his smiling face bringing back those warm, blissful memories that wrenched at his heart.

“You should read it,” Junsu said, glancing over his shoulder at him as he headed towards the kitchen of the chalet. “He left a message for you in there,”

“He...did?” Yoochun asked.

Junsu nodded. “He left one for me too, but I think you’ve always been his favourite,” he cracked a smile before disappearing up the hallway, leaving Yoochun alone with the old journal and the memories it contained.

Retreating to one of the upstairs bedrooms, Yoochun slid inside and closed the door behind him, lying down on the bed, the mattress hugging his form so comfortably, he couldn’t help but groan for a moment, sinking into its embrace. He shrugged the pillows behind his head and took a breath, turning open the cover of the journal. The first entry was from five years ago, the same year Jaejoong was taken away from them.

January 17^th, 2010

There will be a gap between the last entry in my previous journal and this one. It took me forever to get a new one. I found this in a drawer at a hotel we stayed at. I hope the original owner doesn’t mind if I use it.

Anyway, the city’s a nightmare. There’s noise on every corner and so many people, I’m actually stunned we even came here for a hunt. How are we even supposed to find a vampire in this mess? I’d rather go back to the country. Sure, there aren’t hot showers and beds out there, but I liked it a lot better.

January 18^th, 2010

Okay, I get it now. I know why we’re here.

An allied clan needs our help to clear out a vampire infestation. Tao’s here! It’s been so long since I’ve seen him, my Mandarin’s gotten rusty, haha.

Yoochun cracked a smile. He definitely remembered Tao, the boy who didn’t speak Korean, but was incredibly skilled with a sword. He was part of a group of twelve slayers that roamed, often between cities, to track and kill vampires that dared live near people. They were a tightknit brotherhood, that much Yoochun could remember. He’d spoken to one named Jongin rather often when their clans had travelled together for several years.

January 24^th, 2010

The vampires had a nest. It’s things like this that makes me wonder if I should even be a slayer. Seeing so much death and blood...it’s something I should’ve gotten used to, but of course, I haven’t. I can never tell anyone this. I don’t want them to think of me as weak. Yoochun is always so strong with situations like this. All I could really do at the nest was act like him. But now, I’m crying and I can’t stop.

There were splotches marring the ink. Jaejoong had cried over the pages. Yoochun felt a lump form in his throat. Jaejoong had never expressed distress, ever. He’d always known his friend was sensitive, but never once did he even think that seeing dead bodies and killing vampires was something that upset him. He could remember the nest clearly. There were upwards of forty vampires, and hundreds of humans taken as prisoners to be fed from. The smell of blood and decay was overwhelming, and the screams still rang through his nightmares.

I’m a fool, Yoochun thought sadly. I should’ve been there for him,

February 7^th, 2010

There were more hunts after that first one because some of the vampires managed to escape the original attack. Today was the last one. I’m saying goodbye to Tao today. I feel like we’ll meet again, but it’s an uneasy feeling, like when we do, it won’t be a happy reunion. I don’t know. I honestly hate my intuition because it’s always right.

February 10^th, 2010

I’m finally back at mother’s house. I missed it. It smells like apple pie, because Yoochun and I are baking one together. It’s still in the oven. I think we added too much cinnamon, but Yoochun insists it’ll be perfect. I’m not so sure, but I really hope he’s right.

The words that followed filled up the rest of the journal’s page.

HE WAS RIGHT!!!

Yoochun couldn’t help but laugh, setting the journal down so he could remember those moments as clearly as he could.

Baking that pie with Jaejoong had to have been one of his fondest memories. After days of hunting down vampires, and even more days just travelling back towards home, both he and Jaejoong had simply wanted to sit down and take a break. Finding a bushel of apples in the fridge, Jaejoong had come up with the idea that he wanted apple pie, and barely half an hour later, the oven was warming up, and they were peeling apples and learning how to fold a flaky pastry. The pie was stuffed with the apples, cinnamon and sugar before it was shoved into the oven, its makers covered in flour as they high fived. A puff of white powder popped from their palms as they connected, making the two of them laugh even harder than they were before.

Yoochun could still remember the worry Jaejoong expressed over their concoction. He was convinced it was going to be too strong as Yoochun had added just a bit more cinnamon than the recipe called for. He’d tossed the spice in anyway, claiming there wasn’t enough cinnamon to begin with – the pie would’ve come out too sweet. Jaejoong had trusted him, but it didn’t stop him from sniffing nervously at the air, smelling the sweet and spicy scent of the baking pie, as though waiting for the cinnamon to overwhelm the air itself. It never did, and when the pie emerged, steaming from the oven, Jaejoong had fidgeted nervously, waiting for it to cool so they could have a taste.

When it did, the sound Jaejoong made upon the first bite was forever in his mind. It was as though he’d never tasted something more delicious in his life. His mouth full, he dragged Yoochun into a bone crushing hug. Though it prevented him from taking a bite out of his own slice of pie, he treasured that hug more than he probably should’ve. In that moment, he realized just how much he loved his friend. It should’ve made things awkward between them, but it was quite the contrary. Yoochun clung to his side even tighter than before in the days that followed, and never once did Jaejoong complain or comment. He seemed to cling equally as much to the point where Junsu began to mutter about being a third wheel. Yoochun insisted he wasn’t, Jaejoong backing him up.

Still laughing to himself, Yoochun picked the journal up once more, turning the page to read into the next entries.

February 15^th, 2010

The break is over tomorrow. We’re going back out into the countryside to track a coven of vampires. All of us are. For the last few days our clan has been gathering together again at my mother’s farm. Like, not just the small group I know with my father, Junsu and Yoochun, I mean all of it. People I haven’t seen in years are here. Not Tao though. His group couldn’t make it. They have their own problems to handle. They’ve gone to Hong Kong. I’m kind of jealous. I’ve never been to China.

February 16^th, 2010

I’ve figured out what we’re hunting. It’s a vampire who has a rather large coven, though the behaviour is...somewhat odd from what accounts are saying. It’s like an army more than a coven, and this lead vampire is their king. We don’t know where he is, but we do know he’s out there.

Also, it’s not just our slayer group going after this vampire anymore. Groups I’ve never even seen before are joining this cause. I’m really scared to be honest. This vampire can’t be anything good if there’s hundreds of us banding together like this. I mean, I get it, we have to fight this vampire, but what’s the point if we need this many people to do it? We’re not an army. Slayers aren’t meant to fight in groups this size. I’m getting nothing but bad feelings from this.

February 28^th, 2010

Nobody gets it. Nobody does. There’s so many ing people in this group. I can’t handle it. How the hell am I supposed to fight vampires surrounded by a bunch of idiots? They’ll hear us from a mile away. My father keeps saying we’re getting close, but he’s lying. I know he is. He has no idea where this vampire is. Nobody does. I want to turn around and go home, but Yoochun and Junsu are determined to see this through to the end. I can’t leave them.

March 4^th, 2010

The weather’s warming up, thankfully. We’re still nowhere near to finding that vampire than we were last week. We’ve been walking so much I’ve been too exhausted to even write in this journal. I feel like we’re getting close though. The trees are thick here. Vampires could easily travel through here, even during the day. That’s how little sunlight gets through. Everyone’s being so loud. I don’t think they even realize we’re walking into the literal snake pit. I want to go home.

March 6^th, 2010

I had a nightmare last night. I can’t shake the feeling that we’re all going to die.

Yoochun swallowed. It was the shortest entry yet, and Jaejoong’s writing was wobbly, as though his hand was shaking as he wrote. A faint memory slid into his mind as he read over the entry, remembering the distant sound of whimpers and choked off sobs muffled inside a sleeping bag. It was Jaejoong, Yoochun had realized. He’d rolled towards his friend and thrown an arm around him, clutching him to his chest. It was the first time he truly saw Jaejoong break down. He’d never asked what was hurting him that day, but the way his trembling hands gripped the front of his shirt had tugged at something inside him. He cried with Jaejoong that night, holding his friend together as best as he could, though he didn’t understand. He’d never known the fear Jaejoong had been feeling that night. He wasn’t even sure the peaceful sleep he’d fallen into was peaceful, even if he seemed so relaxed in Yoochun’s arms.

Taking a breath, he turned the page once more.

March 10^th, 2010

It’s the end. I can feel it inside. It’s been creeping up on me for so long, I can’t ignore it anymore.

The forest is so dark, even though the sun’s been up for hours. We’re spread out over the forest, combing it for any sign of the vampire. Junsu and Yoochun are with me. I just feel like I need to write all of this down, because I feel like this is the last day I will ever see them. I don’t want it to be true, I’m just so, so scared.

Junsu, Yoochun,

I’m going to write my message to you here, though I’m hoping with everything I have that it won’t be my final message. I don’t want it to be. There’s so much I still want to say to both of you.

Junsu, I just want to say how much I’ve always valued your friendship and wisdom. You were always great at giving me advice when I needed it the most, and for that I thank you. I’m proud to call you my brother – though I’m aware we’re not brothers by blood. We never did do what Tao’s group did. I guess that’s for safety’s sake though haha.

Yoochun, there’s so much I want to say to you and so little time to do it. For all of these years, you’ve been right beside me. We grew up together. trained together, fought, hated each other, and made up more times than I can count. Yet, no matter what happened between us I always knew you would always be there, and for that, you mean the world to me. I can’t tell you how I feel with poetic words and some cheesy line, but I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and I came up with a few.

I love you, Yoochun, not in typical friendship ways either. I’ve always felt you were the other half of me. I feel incomplete without you. If by some miracle this isn’t the end, and you will never read this final message, I will tell you someday, when I feel more confident. We’ll hold hands while we catch fireflies in jars like we did when we were kids. We’ll bake pies and eat them in a house we bought together while cuddling on the sofa while some stupid movie plays in the background. I know we were planning dumb things like this, but I couldn’t help but imagine us as a couple along with it. Call me foolish, or whatever. If you don’t return my feelings it’s okay. I’m content with your friendship.

I’ll end this journal here. I brought that Polaroid you guys hate so much. We’re going to take one last photo. I’ll leave it here, in this journal.

I hope we make it.

Yoochun dropped the journal as the photo slid out of the blank pages once more. He pressed his hands to his face and sobbed. His shirt was already soaked from the tears that had flooded down his face at Jaejoong’s written confession. It was the finality of his words that truly broke him.

He didn’t know how long he lied on the bed, the journal clutched to his chest, the photograph beside him, teary eyes focused on the smiling face of Jaejoong. He was pulled from his grief  by Junsu’s arrival. The man sat down on the bed beside him and laid a hand on his shoulder, rubbing gently in comfort.

“We have to find him, Junsu,” Yoochun rasped. “We have to...”

“We will,” Junsu promised. “I don’t care how long it takes. We’ll find him,”

Yoochun nodded, sitting up and wiping the tears off his face. He slid the photo back into the journal and clenched the book tightly in his hands. Junsu slid up beside him, rubbing his shoulder once more.

“‘Always keep the faith’,” Junsu sighed, turning his gaze to the ceiling. “That’s all we can do,”

Yoochun nodded, his fingers running over the cover of the journal. “I won’t let him down. I won’t stop believing in him. Even if he comes back to us broken thanks to Yunho, we can fix him. I know we can,”

Junsu nodded, smiling. “That’s the spirit,”

Yoochun thumbed the pages of the journal as he thought about the words written inside. Jaejoong loved him. It weighed heavily on his mind. He hoped his friend still felt the same way. When they found him at last, Yoochun would tell him of his own feelings – he loved him right back.

.

.

.

A/N: Confession: this chapter only exists because I got stuck in a writer’s block and suddenly realized I hadn’t written anything from Yoochun’s point of view in upwards of ten chapters and decided I needed to. (I was so stuck on VIXX that I forgot about Junsu and Yoochun...sighs) To be honest, I’m glad I had that writer’s block, because though this chapter is somewhat fillerish, it establishes a lot of things I couldn’t normally mention.

And finally, after 12 chapters, the story lives up to the JaeChun tag! What’s the final pairing? If you haven’t figured that out by now...I’ve already had people ask me and I lost a few readers because of it. Some people though~ (no seriously does a pairing really decide whether or not people are going to read a story?? Because when I’m browsing VIXX fics I literally read whatever I want I don’t care if it’s Neo or Navi (though Navi is my ultimate ship oh yis) I just read whatever sounds good)

To those of you who remain for the sake of seeing how it will end;

Love, Love, Love!

~starlitskies