One minute. That's all it took for me to fall in love with her all over again. The saddest and most painful part is, she doesn't even know a single ing thing. I'm not aware if she even has the slightest clue of the effect she has on me. I feel like a puppet being pulled on a string, but it hurts even more because the master doesn't even know that she's the one in control. I can't even count how many times my dongsaengs asked me if I was fine, because the truth is, trying to cover up the pain hurts more than the pain itself. 

I clenched my fists and forced myself a tight-lipped smile as I watched a dozen male idols flock their way towards her, hoping to somehow catch her attention. Being the polite and kind-hearted sunbae that she is, she gives them the recognition they so badly desire before sending them off with a bow and a wave of her hand. Pabos. Do they think she's that easy? Just because she's no longer the shy and extremely reserved maknae of So Nyuh Shi Dae, they think they have the right to approach her and not make so much as an effort as I did? Just because she's blossomed into the kind of woman I always knew she'll end up to be, do they think it's okay to finally make a move on her? Screw them. 

I know I have no right to be jealous. I am, after all, just someone who was once 'married' to her. However, in the deepest, farthest corner of my mind, I keep telling, convincing myself that no matter what other people say, we were once 'together.' Virtual or not, the fact that we were a 'couple' gives me the feeling that I deserve this sense of entitlement. But then again, it was all just a show right? Then how about the years that followed after? 

I closed my eyes and tried to drown in memories of her, of me, and of us. Of the time we spent together. We could've been that couple. We could've been what our fans, friends, and family hoped us to be. We could've been all of that, but we didn't. We were almost there, but somewhere along the journey, we chose different paths and never really arrived at our desired designation. I wish I could just persuade myself into thinking that it's okay. That I should accept what we've become and not hope for something more. We already had a chance. We were