~~X~~

“I honestly feel like an alien in this place even though I’ve lived here for 7 years.”

“You and me both, Kris. This place just brings back the oldest memories; some I don’t want to remember, some I just want to relive.”

Two figures stand in front of the entrance of a towering building. Both males were clad in their thickest winter apparel, but by no means, dressed to impress. Plain black clothes, a plain cap, plain worn out sneakers layered themselves to provide some heat in the midst of a furious winter day. Snow just kept on falling, and falling, and falling; but these two figures just keep on waiting, waiting, and waiting all the same.

Many people have already passed by, occasionally sneaking glances at the two suspicious backs. Honestly, anyone would be wary of 2 men looking like they were ready to kidnap a child in broad daylight.  

“We should leave. Someone might come down and accidentally see us here.” The smaller man turns his head towards his companion.

“You’re right Luhan. Wanna head to the usual café?” Luhan lets out a mirthless laugh. “It’s been a long time since I heard that, your usual line”

Kris arches his delicate eyebrows. “Did I really say that often?”

“Surprisingly more than Minseok and I anyway. Come on! It’s much warmer in the café” The two finally walk away and a new shadow breathes in relief. He steps out of the shadow as he stared longingly at the broad backs of his former friends. (Was it justified to call them that?)

Jongdae contemplated. He contemplated whether he run after them like he should have more than a year ago, or turn his back once again like he did at the same time period.

His mind clicked, and he runs. He runs like he was about to lose everything, however he was not afraid. He had already experienced the pain when he realizes that his dorm lacked 2 members as he wakes up every day of his life.

As he races through the empty sidewalk, a few people recognized him. Jongdae tsked as he accelerates to avoid any more attention. Going out without the right disguise was a wrong move. The main vocal’s adrenaline runs higher as he comes closer to both Kris and Luhan.

Just a few more steps.

Five

Four

Three

Two

“How do you think he’s fairing?” Luhan murmurs.

Jongdae freezes on his spot.

“Jongdae? If it’s him, I think he’s doing fine. Surprisingly, he was always the strongest out of all of us after all.”

“I’M NOT!”

Jongdae presses both his hands against his mouth.

Oh no

All of a sudden, it seemed like the world’s problems burdened his shoulders, pushing him into ground, making him want the earth to swallow him whole right there and then.

Both Kris and Luhan just stare at him in surprise. (Jongdae senses more of fear in all honesty.) Jongdae feels tears threatening to rain along with the cold snow. Slowly, he backs up; first his right foot and then his left. He pivots with all his strength.

Unfortunately, an opposite forces pulls him into the embrace of the two men he once called his hyung. (Was it alright to call them that again?)

“Jongdae….”  Jongdae connects his orbs to the pairs’. Actual eye contact. Jongdae feels light-headed, even more than usual. Kris and Luhan’s faces were getting blurry by the second, but he works hard to try to stay conscious.

“…Hyung….Kris-hyung…Luhan-hyung…” he whispers weakly.  The cold and his anxiety were taking a toll on his fragile body.

Moments before he succumbs to the numbing pain, he feels the warmth of his beloved hyung carrying him in a dash.

“Dae! Stay with me!”

“Don’t give up on me now!” Hysterical cries were drowning in his ears. Slowly, with ease, Jongdae rests his weary body.

‘Kris-hyung and Luhan-hyung are back. They’re back’

Our little Chen’s vision fades into black.

~~X~~

When Jongdae finally gains consciousness, the scent of freshly brewed coffee hits his senses, making him jerk in alert.

“Dae, calm down. We’re in a café. Rest assured you’re safe” Jongdae turns his head towards his elders sitting on the opposite of him with nervous faces and worried glances. If it weren’t for the damn table separating Jongdae from them, he would have no qualms diving into a long awaited embrace.

On the other hand, both Kris and Luhan were on the verge of losing it – their self-control anyway. Whether you believe them or not, it took so much emotional and mental control from them to actually not crush the small man still blank from the incident earlier. However, there was also satisfaction. After 3 years of wondering around, waiting for the day they would gain the courage to face the man they both loved.

Loved

They were resigned to the fact that their adorable Chen Chen can never be their own, considering how much betrayal happened. They accepted that – really, they did. That was why, there was no way Kris and Luhan were making a move on Kim Jongdae in his current state. They respect him too much.

“Hyung….Kris-hyung….Luhan-hyung….” When tears began to pool in Chen’s eyes, Kris and Luhan are thrown into an overwhelming panic mode. They tried to calm down Jongdae with flustered hand gestures and stuttering words to no avail. Jongdae just sat there, precious drops of tear spilling and running down his pristine cheek. They were the very same cheeks that were held by Kris and Luhan whenever he was having a hard time copping up with China’s customs.

Memories

Memories

They always came flooding into to his fragile mind.

“Aaahhh! Please don’t cry!”

“We didn’t mean to scare you!”

“I was so scared. I was so scared that I would not be able to reach you in time again. I thought that I would live, constantly hallucinating of your backs turning away; barely a whisper of goodbye. When you left, I kept on trying to pull myself together so that I could always welcome you both home with a warm smile. I didn’t want to appear weak in front of the others. We already had so much on our plate and it was about to tip over. I didn’t want to add to the equation. Every single night I prayed that you were both well and that at some point you would find it in yourselves to send me even just a text saying you were both alive. For so long, I waited but nothing!” Jongdae’s eyes allowed themselves to meet the faces of the people he had tried to live for. “I don’t even need an apology! I just don’t want that to happen again. Please don’t leave me. Not like that. Never do that ever again!”  As Jongdae spoke his thoughts, he had bawled his eyes out and released the frustrations kept in check and piled for so many years. His fears, insecurities, anger had just spilled out in a moment.

Although it was a scene that begged the attention of many of the café’s customers, they had distanced themselves in respect of the big baby crying out his whole being unto the table.

However, Jongdae’s waterworks are put to a halt when Kris and Luhan stand up.

Adrenaline rushes through his system.

‘They were going to leave again without saying goodbye!’ He scrambles up to pull them both back into their seats with shaky hands. His fears were returning, he was sure to fall into a panic attack once again!

But all in one moment

His anxiety melted away.

Kris and Luhan had stood up to impart a kiss on him, one on each of his eyelids. It was a bold move considering they were in such a public place and on a window seat.

Their lips linger on Jongdae’s eyelid for a few seconds, seconds that sincerely felt like eternity to the young singer.

“Hyung….”

“Thank you Jongdae. Thank you for believing in both of us.”

“Thank you for all the sacrifices you made. You’ve worked hard.”

EXO’s 2^nd and 3^rd eldest leave no space between them and the man they love.

“I love you Jongdae” They echo each other’s words.

“I love you. Thank you for coming back Kris-hyung and Luhan-hyung”