He was handsome. A human being I wished I figured out on my own. Wishful thinking never left my mind, having more conversations with him in my head than I ever will in reality. And that's where I went wrong. I never had the guts to say hello. Never had the guts to properly introduce myself. Reality hit me in the face and I began to sob, because it was the truth. He never noticed me even when I tried to change into someone I wasn't. His eyes were somewhere else even when he glanced at me. I was just another girl, passing by him, never the girl that made him say, "She's beautiful." No words can explain how I feel. I could curse him all I want, say he's a bad man...but, it'll only make it worse because its not true. He's not a bad man. I barely know him, yet I know at heart, he's broken like everyone else. I've examined him for awhile now and he still doesn't understand this world just as I don't. I had wished to be the person he could open up to, but no wanderlust would ever want to collide with a wallflower. And that's just how it is.

I had given up once I found out one of my dance mates liked him. I had given up once I found out they had known each other from basketball. I had given up once she had confessed to him, yet he had rejected her nicely. But, most importantly I had given when he began to talk to my cousin on my dads side(although were not that close).

I just wish you understood that someone out there is willing to want to get to know you sincerely. I want to know what makes you sad. I want to know why you hold in your tears. I want to know what breaks you down. I want to know your thoughts. I want to know your 2 a.m. feelings. I want to know every little mistake to know that you aren't just a popular, good looking boy walking around school. I want to know about what you like, what you dislike. I want to be the one to make you stay. I want to be the one that brings out the best of you. I want to see the side you don't show to people. I want to witness your joys and pain. I just wanted to get to know you...but you don't give girls like me a chance. And that's what gets me sad.

You'll soon realize that putting on make up, dressing up and doing something pretty with your hair won't get his attention. You'll soon realize that even the smallest interactions such as eye contact will mean nothing. You'll soon realize that nothing could ever happen because he's too out of your league. You'll soon realize that someday this pain of yours will go away.

As of for me, it was painful to write this story. I had a million times thought of deleting this story because it was too much for me. All this pain that he'll never know. All the talks we had in my mind that will never happen. I had to go back to "our" memories and replay it in my head. I said I have given up, but that's probably not entirely true. I still think about him even when I know I shouldn't. He's going off to college, but he doesn't know where yet. A part of me wants him to go far so I could forget him, but a part of me wants him to stay because there's that -.01% chance that I'll get to see him this summer because he knows Zelo.

I told myself it was time to move on. It's time I let go. But, as I heard this song by Lana Del Rey, my heart began to ache because 'his Bonnie on the side makes me sad.' It makes me sad that its not me he's willing to try to talk to. I was fine, I was okay until night came and reality hit me. This is not going to be easy. Letting him go will be harder than I thought it'll be. What's even worse is that this thing I have for him is from afar once again. I've experienced the pain of letting go the person I was in a relationship with before...but, letting someone go from afar is truly and sincerely, at least what I believe....much more painful than ever because you never truly know who they are. You only know the parts you've observed from them and the false image you have of them. And I can say, this is the saddest part of it all.

People say that it's easier to let go because you never truly know them, that it's easier to let go because you've never talked to them. But, what they don't understand is that even if it's from afar, it doesn't mean that it's any less painful.

He still wanders in my mind even when I told myself to stop. I thought that ending this story will reach the destination of "getting over" him, but I was wrong. I found love where it wasn't suppose to be....right in front of me. I didn't mean to fall so deep to the point where I had drowned myself with a million thoughts and scenarios of me and him. I didn't mean to fall at all, it just happened without me knowing.

Kim HanBin...tell me, what do I do now?

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A/N: PLEASE do drop down some comments and let me know how you think of the ending. Thank you so much loves. Bye bye and thank you for reading!!