005

I Found

I got home that night, thinking everything through. Maybe it'll be worth talking to him. Having my heart broken by this guy I barely knew of, maybe it'll be fine.

I went through my instagram which I had followed him on a month ago. Surprisingly, he had accepted and decided to follow me back. You had no idea how happy I was when he had accepted. I know it's stupid to say, but I felt as if he accepted a small  part of me also.

But, like I was saying, as I looked through my instagram feed, my heart stopped. I didn't remember seeing her at the homecoming dance, however this photo explained it all.

Her name was Park Chorong. I had met her over the summer training for our schools dance company's practices over at JungSoo's parking lot. She was again, a very pretty girl. Pretty enough to be with HanBin.

For some reason, I looked at the photo for a very long time. The photo she had posted up was a collage of three pictures. The two small boxes on the right was pictures of her and her friends while on the right side, it consisted of him and her. Chorong had her arms around his waist, letting out a laugh as HanBin hugged her around the shoulders, making a kissing face towards her forehead. They seemed happy.

And that's when I knew, nothing could happen once again. People began to comment below the picture of how cute they were and I began to feel insecure again. Actually, it made me laugh at myself. What was I thinking when I thought I had a chance with him? What was I thinking when I said it was worth having my heart broken by him?

Not too long after did I find out that they had started talking. I showed Yura the picture and she began to have a dying fangirls heart.

"This is what happens when you don't talk to him." She said to me on Monday.

I let out a sigh and shrugged my shoulders, "It's not like he'll ever look at me more than a friend anyways if I did ever try to talk to him."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do."

The sad part of it all was that I had more conversations in my head with him than I ever will in reality. I had a false image of how he would be like. I've observed him for awhile now and I don't know. I really don't know what's wrong with me. There are times when I post a picture on instagram and it notifies me that he has liked it. I begin to fan girl. I begin to squeal. But, I begin to hate him at the same time. Is it normal to feel this way? I don't know. What's wrong with me? Why am I like this? When am I gonna ever stop this whenever his name pops up on my screen? I need to stop. I need to stop before I go crazy again. There's no chance of being with someone like him. You know why? Because, I'm a wallflower and he's a jock filled with girls chasing after him while I'm on the side...too shy to do anything. So, I just stand from afar...admiring him silently. It's sad, because I know our worlds can never collide.

Chorong was pretty and he was handsome. They were both seniors and seemed as if they were going to be more than friends...until maybe a couple of months later I no longer saw his name in her bio on instagram. And as for HanBin, he no longer had her name in his bio also. He deleted all her photos off his profile and I was left confused. I thought they had something.

But, through all of this, I tried to keep myself busy with school, with my studies, with dance practice, with family, with myself. I tried to, to get over him; to not think of him. It worked for awhile until night came...I began to wander what he was doing. What he was up to. I told myself that I don't care, that its okay to just be strangers; it's okay to just watch him from afar because that's all I've known what to do, to watch the person I like from afar. But, I don't like him. And the more I deny it, the more I want to get to know him. I don't like him because of what he appears to be in front of his friends and/or because he laughs and becomes the loudest person there is in the cafeteria. I just see more in him than he'll ever know. I've fallen for the unknown sadness he has deep down somewhere in him. I've fallen for the way he loves his family oh so much. I've fallen for the depths of his own deep blue ocean. And you know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he's perfectly fine and isn't unhappy at all. But, when he is..I want to be there...I want to try to fix him. I want to know why he thinks the way he thinks and make him realize that there's someone who's willing to stay by his side even if he doesn't want the same for me.

We've only seen each other not too often, but know each other well enough to know of each other. I've only heard of how he's like, but never really got to speak with him one on one before. There are things I've heard of him that aren't too pleasant to hear, but when I see him...it all disappears. He's so tall and he is handsome as hell. Maybe he is bad, but he hides it quite well. I don't know, but there's this feeling inside of me that sincerely wants to get to know him. I feel like everyone he's talked to didn't stay long enough with him to see who he really was. I feel as if they only stayed to feel that spark for a good couple of weeks or months, but after that when they got tired, they just decided to give up. Maybe there's a reason to why he's the way he is and that's what I want to know. I want to be the one to really get to know him. But, the problem is...I don't know how to be someone he'll even want to talk to. I don't know how to be the person to make him want to stay.

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A/N: PLEASE do drop down some comments and let me know how you think of it so far. Thank you so much loves. Bye bye and thank you for reading!!

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builtbymachines
#1
Chapter 6: I feel like I'm going through something similar, but I relate most to the doubt. I'm currently in a situation where I can't tell if he likes me or not, but I'm not exactly trying to make it obvious that I like him.

I think the worst part is that this doesn't stop at high school.
mynameb #2
Chapter 6:
silveriansd #3
Chapter 6: This js a pure coincidence, but currently i'm going through the exactly same story like your plot. My friends start shipping us and somehow i had my eyes on him..and of course,got hurt. And you posted this on my birthday! What a really amazing coincidence. Love ya!
LoveDaisy_09
#4
Chapter 6: I love UR plot! :) And I can relate to this story! Like seriously, I was thinking about my crush while reading this~ This is so me... A wallflower, too shy to talk and admires 'him' from afar. I'm sad now T.T haha! I think everyone can relate to this~~~ I'm happy that you made a story where I or the readers can relate to :) By any chance, did u make this story cause... This is like U too? Hehe thanks for making this awesome fanfic!
vindyyo #5
Chapter 6: </3 T_T
This is sad but it's true
Although I thought that she will ended up with Hanbin kekeke.
But it's good too!
haeena #6
Chapter 6: this chapter truly speaks my feeling towards my crush. especially the third pharagraph. its too real thus its hurts so much .. good chapter author-nim! : )
Rara_Avis
#7
Chapter 6: Awww.. This is so real.
This is the real unrequitted love.
Something many people could relate to.
Its good. Keep it uo
vindyyo #8
Chapter 5: I lurve ittttt T.T
Please make them do some interactionnn
Like she is probably stalking hanbin at ig ant accidentially liked 24 weeks ago pic of him. And they talk to each other since then or whatevrr it issss i want the girl to happy T.T
Poor her.. she witnessed him hug , talk , kiss with other girl that prettier than her...