chapter 1

It’d been like this for some time now. He had always been this way but had discovered just some time ago. He couldn’t talk with anyone though… He was living with other 12 boys… Plus the manager. He was a member of boy group ToppDogg, he couldn’t tell anyone that he liked boys, much less any of his bandmates… How awkward would that get? He’d just laugh and shrug it off whenever there were comments like that on the internet. “Hansol oppa is so cute, looks like he could be gay.” Was just one of the daily remarks he read. If only they knew… But they would never know. To protect his secret Hansol had decided to live aual. Of course he would occasionally comment about some girl’s legs, waist, bust… Normal stuff, when around fellow males. And he lived well with his ToppDogg brothers and his cute image, an image many more idols had, so it shouldn’t be any bad to keep it since it felt natural anyway.

One night Kim Hansol was alone at the dorm. He’d been the first one to arrive and the others were still practicing. Hansol laid on his bed, tummy down, and opened the laptop, decided to search the internet about the group. Some websites after, he came across a peculiar one and thought visiting one more couldn’t do any harm. One link had his and Jiho’s stage names together so curiosity got the best of him.

~Hansol felt butterflies when Xero touched him~

"Well, they got that right."  He mumbled to himself as he kept reading, without even noticing he had reached the “M” zone.

~Xero grabbed Hansol’s pants and pulled them down, kissing the other male until both of them were out of breath. He threw him onto the bed and lowered his face to the elder’s private zone, tugging at his boxers, asking permission to take them off, which the boy agreed to.~

The blue haired boy was so focused and shocked that the front doors’ opening sounds went unnoticed.

"Hansol hyuuung~" B-joo chimed in as he entered the dorm followed by Hojoon who immediately occupied the bathroom. The younger checked the kitchen and the living room before walking through Hansol’s door (and catching him red-handed). His blue-haired hyung didn’t seem to notice his presence though so he decided to check what was on the laptop screen. Soon he found out he had made a mistake when the words on the screen jumped at him. "Wow hyung… I didn’t know you enjoyed reading these types of… literature."

Hansol jumped at the sudden presence beside him. "B-Byungjoo…" He looked at the newcomer and followed his gaze into the laptop screen, realizing what it showed. "YAH! DON’T READ THAT!" He attempted to cover the screen but he had been too late.

"Hyung, why are you reacting like that? You’re acting as if you’ve commited some huge crime." Tilted his head. "Which you didn’t, by the way."

"W-what?"

"Hyung" He laughed. "You should see your face. Why are you so embarrassed?" Hansol stuttered and stumbled over his words trying to find the right ones, which he failed. "Hyung." He smiled. "It’s nothing to be ashamed of. But tell me." He sat up straight facing his elder. "Were you reading this out of curiosity… Or because you… You know…" He rubbed the back of his neck. Hansol was listening attentively, biting his lower lip in embarrassement. "Swing those ways?"

That was it. The end of Kim Hansol’s peaceful days. His most well-kept secret had been discovered so easily. Would he have to get out of the group now? His life would surely be hell now that he wasn’t the only one aware of his own preferences.

"Hyung… Do you like Jiho?"

Wait what?