Mentions of self harm, gay love, depression.

At first it’s not that weird that the others don’t notice. Hakyeon has always spent a lot of time in the practice room, getting their complicated routines perfect and making sure every move he made was planned ahead and executed with grace and finesse. No one wonders why he stops going to dinner and stays at practice. It’s just N hyung and his strive for perfection.

And when Hakyeon stops waking up Hyuk with hugs and Hongbin with kisses and instead gets the alarm clock to do it as he’s already long gone on his suddenly daily morning jog, no one questions the motives behind it. After all, sooner or later even N hyung had to realise his skinship wasn’t wanted.

Even as Hakyeon quietly agrees that Yes, he does look like a soccer player with his tan skin, not a single one of the members take the time to ask themselves why that tanned skin suddenly is covered in snow white scars on both wrists. Instead, Ravi makes a comment that finally their N hyung has realised his love was annoying them. Finally.