It’s early April.

Seoul is alive, the streets filling up with women in short skirts and men in designer suits. The cherry trees along the Han river are blooming, and the green grass in the park is in that perfect stage of soft yet not wet, perfect for laying in it and enjoying the sun against your face.
April used to be Hakyeons favourite month. It’s warm, but not too warm, and he liked the cherry blossoms. Now, Hakyeon wishes it would just pass.
It’s been a week since the accident.

A week of not being able to turn on the TV without seeing SangHyuks picture, a week of the footage of his lifeless body being rolled into the emergency room replaying on every news program South Korea had to offer. A week of fans in black dresses crying. A week of bowing to SangHyuk's parents and apologizing for what had happened to their son.
It had been a week, and yet, Hakyeon didn’t seem to be able to grasp it. Sanghyuk was supposed to live until he got old and grey, was supposed to marry a sweet girl and have kids that were just as unbearable as him. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Hakyeon was the one that didn’t want this life, didn’t appreciate it. Hakyeon wanted to flee from life, but Sanghyuk, he wanted to live. Sanghyuk wanted to live so, so badly.

Hakyeon realises it’s been a week only on the eighth night, as Minhyuk wraps a scarf around his shoulders and kisses his forehead before turning to leave. He grasps his wrist and looks up at him. His lips feel dry and his troath sore, but he figures that’s what he gets for not drinking all day.

“I can’t be with you,” He says. His voice isn’t really his, but it’s okay, because maybe it was better that way. Maybe Minhyuk needed to hear it from this Hakyeon, this Hakyeon that couldn’t cry and couldn’t eat and couldn’t even ing breath. This Hakyeon that wasn’t the Hakyeon that had slept with him and wasn’t the Hakyeon that he had cooked eggs with the morning after. It was better that way, so that Minhyuk didn’t feel he was being dumped by the boy he loved, because this really wasn’t the boy he loved.

“I know,” Minhyuk says and his hair. “I’ve known for a long time. I can’t be him, and you can’t forget him. I know.”
Hakyeon grimaces, but Minhyuk just smiles.
“I’ll call you.” That’s the last thing he says, before leaving. Hakyeon just nods. They could stay friends like this. Minhyuk was a good person. Too good of a person to leave him alone. Hakeyon wished he was that good of a person.

He tries to sit more comfortable and closes his eyes again, trying to go back to sleep. He had to get some sleep, or he would pass out again, and it was embarrassing enough the first time it happened, that first time outside of the hospital when the reporters had to tell him about the accident.
When he woke up again, he had been inside the hospital, and Minhyuk had been by his side. He told him the details, and held him so he could cry. Only, Hakyeon didn’t cry. He couldn’t. Instead, he had pushed the other away and went to take a walk around the hospital. He had to clear his head.

It’s outside of the CT Scan room that he finds himself face to face with Taekwoon. He’s bruised and his lower lip is broken pretty badly. He had even needed stitches. Hakyeon wants to run and hide in his arms, especially when he looks up at him and gives him that look that can only mean I miss you.
Hakyeon has missed him too. More than Taekwoon missed him undoubtedly. But he’s scared as well. Because when he left, Taekwoon was clearly mad, and he was sure he wasn’t welcomed in Taekwoons life anymore. Not that he really had been for the last 3 years, but still.

“Are you okay?” Taekwoon asks. He reaches out, as if to touch Hakyeon’s face, away non existent tears, but he stops midway, and his hand just sort of floats there in the air between them.

“Yeah, I’m… I’m fine.”
He looks down, can’t bear to meet those black eyes any more, opting to study the dots on Taekwoons hospital gown instead.

“How about you?” He asks. “I heard about-…”

“Yeah… I’m… fine, as well. Wonshik was hit the worst I think…”

Taekwoon doesn’t mention Sanghyuk, knows that Hakyeon knows and that it needs no explanation. No seatbelt equaled severe head trauma in every traffic safety book Hakyeon had ever been forced to read.

“Hakyeon-ah…” Taekwoon suddenly says and finally dares reach out and hold Hakyeons face in his hand. “It wasn’t about you… I need you to know that…”
Their eyes meet again and theres something in his eyes that makes Hakyeon uncomfortable. He looks so vulnerable and open, and he hasn’t looked like that since their MyDol days.

“I-.... Neither I nor Hongbin are mad that you’re gay. That’s fine…”
Hakyeon doesn’t understand. They were clearly upset, so why....?

Taekwoon his cheek, and then he leaves him. He turns around a few steps down the hallway, and there are tears on his cheeks. Hakyeon has ne