I woke up with dribbles of sweat on my forehead, heart pounding so hard it felt like it’s going to burst out from my untrimmed chest. Everything around me seems to be spinning and it took me some time to halt the imaginary non-existent rotation I felt around me. My eyes seemed to be adjust by the darkness overwhelm me. I checked the clock on my side table and was surprised that it was 2:45 am. What is happening to me? It’s that dream again. The same dream repeated 3 nights in a row. It’s him. I saw him in my dream and I cursed myself for it. What are you trying to show me? Please, let me go from this etching scar. I cried in silent in my sleep, not exactly knowing what it’s about, but I know that it was hurting me.

                The next day I woke up, I felt my body was sore in every place and to get up from my bed seemed the hardest thing to do currently. I took a glance in the mirror and saw a glimpse of my face. I noticed the dark rings around my eyes and my skin colour looked sick and pale. I don’t know what had gotten into me, but I know something is wrong. “Did you have a nice sleep last night, dear?” Mom suddenly greeted me with a question as soon as I appeared in the kitchen.

                “I don’t know, mom. I keep having weird dreams.” I said, absentmindedly taking a cup of juice for myself and took a sip. Mom observed me for a while and approached me as she patted my back. “Maybe you need some more rest.” She said, went away to the stove to prepare the breakfast. “Yeah, I will but I need to go somewhere first today. Then, I’ll get some rest.” I said, walking to our backyard and do some stretches.

                Today is the day he left me last year. Maybe if I embrace the painful memories today, everything will go away. Maybe, just maybe. Besides, this whole thing started ever since I set my foot here on the same day I met him last year. Maybe if I accept this thing well today, maybe I won’t feel anything much tomorrow. There’s a lot to gamble but I would do anything to not feel this miserable again.

                The dreaded day came and I can’t believe 48 hours can passed so quickly and I haven’t even said anything to him. In fact, I have been avoiding him the whole day so when he left I didn’t feel as much lost as expected. Whenever I saw him in my range, I tried my best to not to meet his eyes or pretending I didn’t saw him. Well, I’m a good actor and pretending the fact I’m happy when I’m not seemed to be an easy job now.

                “Al, it’s your break time.” Monique reminded me as I glanced down to my watch. I nodded and took my phone and wallet with me and went out from the pharmacy without talking much. I quickened my pace, hoping he wouldn’t noticed I’m going out for lunch. I decided to have a lunch outside the building; well at least the possibility of bumping into him would be really thin.

                I was having a light lunch because truthfully, I wasn’t that hungry. I brought a book along with me, so instead of eating the meals, I read the book just to kill time. The meals were half finished and I don’t have the desire to even finish it. I was so taken into the book, I pay least attention to the surrounding when suddenly I heard a made up cough just to take my attention. I looked up and was beyond surprise to see he was there, standing with his remarkable grin on.

                “What do you want? Are you like stalking me?” I said, sniggered to my own sarcasm and pretended the book was much more interested than him being there. “Can I sit here?” he said, politely. “And, I swear I didn’t stalk you. I happened to see you here, so might as well we have our lunch together.” He continued. I looked at him long enough and finally I gave in. It’s his last day anyway. “Yeah, I’ll be on my way later on anyway.” I said, taking a sip of my drink.

                “I didn’t know I will actually meet you here. Coincidence, huh?” he said, starting the conversation. I didn’t reply, instead I continued on reading. He tried to make another conversation with me as he opened one of his chilli sauce sachets. I was displeased with his presence, because for the whole day I tried to avoid him. Now, suddenly he decided to ruin it for me?

                “Look, I need say things out. Besides, we won’t see each other again after this.”I said, closing my book and straightened my back, getting to get serious on the topic. He suddenly noticed the changes in the atmosphere, too turned to be serious. I inhaled a few breathes and looked at him in the eyes. “We don’t know each other ok. If by knowing names only, that doesn’t count as knowing each other. We’re not even acquainted. We just met like 2 months ago and we barely talk to each other. So, please don’t say that you were head over heels about me, because truthfully you don’t.”I said half relief that part of what I was going to say already let out to him.

                His face was deep but still he was silent, probably waiting for me to continue.”I could be a vampire that thirst of ’s blood as yours, and you wouldn’t even know that. I could be that serial killer the police were haunting because I slaughtered a lot of young men and burned them alive, and you still wouldn’t know that, would you? Looks can kill, you know.” I explained, hoping he would get the rest by himself. If he’s smart, then he will.

                “So, you’re saying that I shouldn’t like you?” he asked, a smile lingering at his lips and I know he’s trying to give me hints. “Yes.” I said, affirmative. “But, what if I like you not because of your looks?” he asked again, as he brought the French fries into his mouth. I was already starting to question his message. “What if I like you because you’re my rose? The looks are the bonus part.” He grinned as he puts another fries into his mouth.

                I shook my head and decided to leave him there, facepalming myself repeatedly in my head. He doesn’t understand this, does he?”Yeah, whatever you said, I’ll be going now.” I said, trying to be expressionless. He tried to halt me from walking away by snatching my phone away. I stopped walking and looked at him rather astounded. “What?” I said, annoyed.

                “Do you believe in destiny?” he asked as he looked into my eyes so deeply that it went into the chambers of my soul. I felt as if he could see everything I tried to hide, all the dirty secrets, all the thoughts I tried to put away from showing. As if everything was revealed just by his gaze. “No.” I wielded myself from saying the truth.

                “If our star crossed one day, then we’ll meet again. And by that, I’ll wait for the moment to come.” He said slowly as he gave my phone to me back. “I’ll find you.” He continued. I took my phone from him slowly, and walked away without responding to him. I was speechless. Every despise feelings and displease I felt before suddenly evaporated from me as soon as he talked me into this. The warm feelings came back flooded my mind and for a second there I thought I would drown in my own thoughts. Somehow, I was attached to the unofficial promised he just vowed to hold onto. Maybe, I would wait for him, too.

                I decided to put on the newly brought dress from yesterday and made up my hair. I don’t know why am I even doing this but the thought of embracing the memory today for the last time, maybe the chance of it coming to haunt me back is well most likely none. It’s a lost to risk, but I’ll take my chance. I would do anything to not feel this wretched anymore. I have a life and I have the rights to live it happily, not letting that particular man brought it down.

                I went to the cafe outside the building in which the one I went last year turned out was the last meeting with him. I ordered a cup of hot coco and a slice of cheesecake, though I’m a craze and fond towards cakes, today’s mood spoiled my appetite. Rather than devour it with great enjoyment, I leave it untouched and dig into my book instead. I’m not sure what exactly what I’m waiting for, but I’ll take my chance till 430 pm. Then, I’ll leave; maybe with a brand new feelings overwhelm me.

                I dwelled into the book I haven’t noticed the time was passing by so quickly. As I took a sip from my hot coco, I glanced at my watch and was surprised that it’s almost 5. I stuffed the novel into my tote bag and risen from my seat, intended to leave the place. Maybe, this will be the end of everything. And I’ll be free as soon as I step outside. I took a few deep breathe, anticipating the freedom from the torturous grip around me all this while.

                I was about to open the door when suddenly someone was opening it from outside. I looked up to say thank you only to find, my tongue tied, left me rather speechless. It’s him. There he was, standing handsomely with his police uniform on, somewhat dreamy. This is too good to be true.  He was staring at me just as I him. My mind was then suddenly overflowed with all the memories of him and everything about him. It as if air had been punched out from my guts leaving me breathless for no reason. I wasn’t sure what did he saw on my face that made him grinned. “I knew you would be here.” He said with his husky voice, sounding somehow amused. After all this while, did he mean that he was searching for me, too?

                “How did you know?” I asked after finding my voice. To accidentally meet him today was the very least thing I expected, in fact none at all. I was preferable has no memory of him at all. But, then how could this thing happen? “Do you believe in destiny?” He asked again, the very same question he used to ask me. He took a step forward to me as he closed the door behind him. “I told you I’ll find you.” He said. My heart blooms with flowers once again as my stomach was filled with thousands of butterflies fluttering about making me even more nervous. My chest beats so fast that I think blood pumped to my face, and I bet it’s visible to see that I was flushed. Colours from every edge came out filling my world in which before was dull, turning it into a whole new perspective from my point of view. “My rose.” He called. And with only that, I was a goner.