“Look at the sky. You see how they stretched out as far as beyond you can see? That’s how our friendship will be.” Alice said as she pointed out to the sky when we were lying down together on the grass. Synchronically, all of us letting out a long ‘Aw’ as the respond to her statement. “Okay, spill it out, since when you so into deep things like such?” Diane asked as she can’t help herself from laughing to the changes that were so obvious on Alice. “Just, because.” Alice simply replied, not bother to throw any sarcasms at her.

                After a few hours of leisure as we lay down on the grass, we decided it’s time to move. Duties were divided to packing things up and stuffed it in the car bunks so the work will end fast. I walked to the car with Ira, one of my closest friends, when suddenly she spoke. “You’re okay, Al?” I turned to her and gave her the meaningful look as I wasn’t sure what’s her question was supposed to be about. “You know, maybe you have a hard time coming back here.” She continued.

                I smiled a little, knowing well she could read my mind. I nodded as I inhaled a few deep breathes. “I won’t let my off days ruined because of his memories.”I said, pulling her to my embrace, half hugging as we walked. “Besides, he’s just another guy in my life.” I said trying to sound nonchalant; hoping the bitterness of the word won’t get the best of me. We both laughed as she punched me gently on my rib. “Yeah right.” She responded and rolled her eyes, knowing how exactly I felt.

                “Anyway, I think he already forgotten about me, so who cares anyway?” I said slowly that was audible only for me to hear. But, I guess Ira caught that, unfortunately.

                Lilian was teaching me on how to use the cashier machine and I tried so hard to not be distracted as I listened to her words attentively. If I screwed up on this particular job, then I would be most likely to be in a very hot soup. She let me tried the cashier part when suddenly a guy burst into our shop and hollered Lilian’s name, which cause both of jumped in surprise.”Lilian!”

                “Mathew, what are you doing here?” Lilian asked annoyed, getting used to his rather irrelevant behaviours since they knew each other a long time ago. It took him a while to notice that I was there, too but I kept my head down anyway, simultaneously ignoring his presence. “Hey, you’re the girl from last night.” He said as he chuckled, purposely trying to tease me. I didn’t want to speak therefore all I could do was sending off daggers of glares into his head, virtually.

                “Go away, Mathew. The girl is learning and she needs to focus.” Lilian said as she jokingly pushed him out from the shop and I knew better why Lilian did that on the first place. “I will. Next week you won’t be seeing me anymore.”He said, letting his body being pushed by her. Lilian stopped on track, I did, too. He almost fell because of her sudden halt and turned to face her only to find Lilian’s questioning face looking back at him.

                “I meant to say this to you earlier. But, you thought I was joking the whole time, didn’t you?” He assumed Lilian and folded his arm. I fell dead on my track and I already forgot what I should do next, too busy eavesdropping on their conversation. He glanced at my way and he knew I was listening, too. “I’m going to join a police camp in Seattle. My dad is the commander in that base and I’ll be joining him soon.” He briefly explained, purposely saying it our loud, intended for me to hear as well.

                “But, next week is two days left.” Lilian said, slowly probably trying to digest the fact she’ll lost one of her pals. Lilian took the words right from my mind, because I was thinking the same thing, too. That’s too soon and he’ll be leaving away and Seattle is not a stone away. The distance is like a tsunami away, perhaps. “Yeah, I know. Don’t miss me too much.” He said. I finally looked up only to find he was looking at me. I knew it that everything he said to Lilian was meant for me, but he knew better. He knew I won’t listen, so he decided to indirectly tell me through her. The eye contact last for 3 seconds then I broke away, pretending to count the money in my hand again. “I won’t forget you.” He said as he ruffled Lilian’s hair in which she slapped his hand away as he chuckled.

                “I’m going back to my shop now. Talk to you later, Lilian.” He said and walked out from the pharmacy without a glance back. I felt my heart was being ripped to pieces, as he took steps away from where I am. I don’t understand what was happening to me, these thoughts about him that continuously haunting me making me losing my mind. And the idea of him being away somehow depressed me. What is actually going on? “Al?” Lilian asked as she patted my shoulder when she finds out I was stop dead in my track. “Please excuse me.” I said and went out from the pharmacy to the toilet, to calm myself.

                I think we can see who’s playing the masochistic role, taking in pleasure in someone else’s pain. He came into my life so suddenly and when I started to grow in him, he decided to leave me. It’s not fair. Even if it’s not his choice, it still not fair. If he knew it before hand, maybe he shouldn’t even appear in my life on the first place. Those things he did to me that etched in my mind, he shouldn’t do it if he knew that it would haunt me when he’s gone. It’s not fair!