As Minho pulled over to the giant parking lot by Yeoido subway station he praised himself lucky they didn’t have to go there on a weekend. With the recent good weather and the cherry blossoms in full bloom it would have been practically impossible to find a parking lot, not to mention pushing a wheel chair through the crowds. Because however healthy Taehyun had seemed to be lately, Seungyoon’s words about his health was still playing on repeat in Minho’s head. And a promise was a promise: Taehyun had said himself that he would use it. There was no point in him wearing himself out on something as simple as watching cherry blossoms. The poor boy had much worse things to worry about than that. Minho caught a glimpse of Taehyun in the rearview mirror and had to hide a smile. Why did something as simple like this make him seem so happy?

“Do you like it that much?”

“Just look at it!”

Taehyun’s excitement was almost contagious, and the smile Minho had been struggling to hide from before had unknowingly crept onto his face. He was even smiling while putting the big backpack on his pack and taking out the wheelchair from the backseat of the car to set it up. How was it that someone who had once been totally and completely unlikable just turned into the most endearing kid? It really made no sense, but Minho had other worries than to figure it out. Like their little moment earlier that morning. What had that been about? The way their eyes had met, the way being so close had made his heart race, it was starting to become too much. Was he really getting attached? Turning his head, Minho looked up as Taehyun climbed out of the car and couldn’t help the pang of fear and guilt he felt when he looked at him. Inside the safety of their house he didn’t seem that bad, but under the bright sunlight Taehyun’s sun seemed so pale it was almost translucent and you could clearly see the blue of the veins on his neck and hands.

“The chair is ready for you, your majesty,” Minho joked, taking a step back and giving Taehyun an obviously over exaggerated bow. To which the boy grimaced and ran a hand through his long hair.

“Do I have to? It’s not like I can’t walk!”

Minho couldn’t help but send the boy a stern look and to give the wheelchair a light tap. A promise was a promise.

“I am fully aware. But I refuse to listen to your complaining if you get tired after walking for five minutes. This way is better, and I get some exercise pushing you around.”

“…are you calling me fat?”

A loud snort managed to escape Minho’s lips, and he shook his head. Fat was the last thing Taehyun was.

“Look, just do it for me? I will keep me for worrying too much over bringing you out here in the first place.”

Hesitation lingered on Taehyun’s face for a few seconds, then he nodded and sat down in the chair in silence. He even lifted up his big camera from his lap to let Minho put a blanket over his legs. Why so obedient?

“Everything alright?” Minho asked quietly, giving Taehyun’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze before stepping behind the wheelchair and starting to push it towards the paved path leading down towards the Han River. Cherry trees stood along the road as far as you could see, creating a pink blanket of what was normally just dull concrete. It was a nice change from their regular scenery, and since pushing the wheelchair kept him safely out of Taehyun’s glance, he could look at and think about whatever he wanted. Not that he couldn’t normally, but when the looks and thoughts centred around the same person it was always difficult to look at him (or be looked at).

”I just don’t like how sick the chair makes me seem…” Taehyun’s voice was low, not his usual confident tone. If he was that moody, staying at home might have been safer… but judging by their morning, it hadn’t been so bad.

”Oh nonsense! It just makes you seem lazy!”

”Is that supposed to encourage me?”

Minho simply shrugged his shoulders and pushed them down along the row of blooming cherry trees. Clearly both of them had a lot on their minds, because the descend down towards the Han River was made in silence. The only sound that broke through it was the soft noise of the wheels of the wheelchairs against the pavement and every now and then a click from Taehyun’s camera. When had he even packed it out?

“It’s not like I have much time to enjoy the pictures,” Taehyun started quietly and instantly Minho’s grip on the wheelchair tightened. “But what if this is my last chance? I think I would like to look at it again, even if only through pictures-…”

The wheelchair came to a complete stop and Minho reached out and gently rubbed Taehyun’s shoulder. Those words had clearly hit a nerve, because he felt weak and sad and devastated all at the same time. Had he could, Minho would have cried just because everything was just too dumb and sad. To his surprise, he felt a cold hand wrap around his own, Taehyun offering his own kind of silent care. They hadn’t said anything or even looked at each other, but they both clearly felt the weight of such words. This could be the last. If it would be or not, only time would tell. But just the idea of this being the last time... Last time for both of them to see the cherry blossoms together, last time for Taehyun to see the blooming and last time for Minho to look at Taehyun while the flowers bloomed. Ironic, since it was also the first time, even if it didn’t feel like it.

In the end, it was a stranger breaking their silence; a older woman out with what seemed to be her husband asked Minho if he could take a picture of them for her. Falling into his normally very outgoing and friendly ways, Minho agreed heartily and took around five pictures just for good measures. He also agreed when the woman’s husband offered to take a picture of the two of them together. Taehyun seemed to want to hand over his monster of a camera, but Minho shook his head in protest and just handed the man his cell phone instead. They were asked to pose for the camera, and he felt a sudden tug at his hand to place it where it had been before: resting on Taehyun’s shoulder while holding onto the boy’s hand. He tried to protest, but was interrupted by a little squeal from the older man. It turned out he had filmed the little moment instead, and after showing how to do it properly, Minho and Taehyun were back in their awkward but comfortable position, and the older man took a picture of them. At least the two of them together wouldn’t be a last. They’d stay together till the very end.

After about 30 minutes walk Taehyun peeked over his shoulder at Minho and gave a little smile as he scratched his pale cheek. “Uhm… I’m kind of getting hungry…” The look on his face made Minho’s heart tighten like it had before, but now he didn’t panic. Instead he felt strangely warm and fuzzy and he wondered if the sun was getting to his head (even though it wasn’t too strong that day). But what could he do? Giving a little nod, he looked around for a nice spot to settle down and decided on the grass not too far from the river where a lonely cherry tree stood in full bloom. Some shade would be good, and it wasn’t all that far from the car if something happened.

Not long after he had settled them up on a big blanket, food nicely spread out in front of them and the rest of their stuff (and the wheelchair), pushed halfway behind the tree. As Taehyun said; “there was no need to be reminded of it and feel bad.” He was absolutely right. They should just enjoy the day, wasn’t that why they were here? Eating, relaxing, not stressing over anything at all.

“Do you think I can come see this again next year?” Taehyun’s voice was quiet as he spoke, and he stretched out a hand up towards the sky. After devouring most of the kimbap they had made that morning and shared a chocolate, they’d both laid down head to head on the blanket, faces turned upwards. “I’m sure you will,” Minho answered, moving a bit. They were stepping onto forbidden turf again, and he still felt extra aware of it today.

“I’m sure… You’re stronger than you think”. He turned his head to the side, looking at Taehyun’s profile: pale skin, slanted eyebrows and dark eyes. His brown hair gleamed in the sun as it messily was pushed out of his face and he was biting his bottom lip in a way that made butterflies flutter around in Minho’s stomach.

“I don’t know… I like to think that, but you can’t help feeling weak and helpless a lot of the time too.” Taehyun shifted a bit, rolled over on his side and Minho could practically feel blood rush to his face at how close they now where. Like a mirror he could also tell Taehyun was a bit taken aback by it, because an uncharacteristic pink shaded his white cheeks.

“…You make me feel more helpless.”

“What was that?” Minho in a deep breath, realizing just then that he had held his breath since Taehyun had turned around.

“Being with you make me feel helpless,” Taehyun repeated, reaching out a hand and gently touching Minho’s cheek. It was such a soft, faint touch it was almost as if he wasn’t really touching at all, but the impact was immense. All of Minho’s emotions from before bubbled up on the surface and he had to close his eyes shut to try and concentrate on not crying. “Don’t say that,” he mumbled, turning his head back and putting a hand over his eyes.

“You’re not the one who should be saying that, I should.”

“Why? Why should you say it? I’m the one who’d dying, and I’m the one who has to leave in the end!”

“Well, I have to watch you die, not able to do anything to help you!” Minho’s voice had been sharper than he intended and he sat up, refusing to turn towards Taehyun. Wasn’t he being too selfish? He had no right to feel helpless… Up until now, hadn’t he done his very best?

“I-…” For a split second Minho thought Taehyun would yell back at him, much like he always did. Instead he heard the boy move and suddenly he felt his heart beat faster in his chest as slender arms lipped around his waist and Taehyun carefully placed his head on Minho’s shoulder. “I had gotten so used to the idea of dying, it didn’t felt like anything mattered. But then you just show up in my life and treat me like an actual person, and it makes me so mad, and hurt, and upset that I can’t be the person you want me to be. You make me want to live, and suddenly the idea of dying really scares me again.”

Minho felt his shoulders tremble, and something hot and wet trickled down his cheeks. He had been trying so desperately to deny that he truly cared and that he would be fine to move on when Taehyun wouldn’t be there anymore. But he couldn’t do it anymore. This sudden honesty, the pain and hurt he had felt ever since this morning hit him at full force and now he really was helpless. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he sobbed quietly, welcoming Taehyun’s warm embrace and clinging to it as if it was a life jacket. He didn’t want to loose him, didn’t want to be forced to see him wither away in front of him and then send him off like it had been just another job. “I don’t want to… to… to send you away!” Minho sobbed, turning his head and nuzzling his face against the warmth of Taehyun’s neck.

Who had he been trying to fool all this time? He must have been mad to even try. Because whatever it was he had tried to tell himself, he couldn’t escape the truth anymore:

He loved Nam Taehyun.

A/N: So sorry this is so late, and that I haven't updated much lately. I've never written this kind of angst before, and it is getting difficult to me. Plus I have been really busy with real life too. Anyways, thanks for sticking with me till now! How you like chapter 7.