It felt a bit too natural talking to the younger male, Yixing was happily sharing things, personal things with Jongin even though he found him unbelievably annoying a couple of hours ago. The tanned male was positive and bright and it made the older male relax a bit, it helped him forget about what he was doing. Both males finished their meals and were now back to their seats; chatting and laughing at silly things the younger once did. Jongin had plenty of stories to share, most of them seemed fake and unrealistic, but thrilling and enjoyable nevertheless. Yixing liked the guy, he was the total opposite from himself. The pale male could never imagine himself starting conversations with strangers with such carefree attitude. It was refreshing talking to the younger, watching him struggle with a foreign language while trying to make the chinese male laugh.

“I was fourteen when I first fell in love. I had no idea at first, I mean I thought I only had feelings for that person because we were close, best friends. But it turned out I was madly in love with the guy.” Jongin was looking down while retelling the story of how he first fell in love with someone; Yixing had no clue to how they got to this topic. The younger male seemed bothered by the thought though, brows knitted and a sad smile gracing his thick lips.

“With the...guy?” Yixing couldn’t help but let that out, was Jongin—

“Yes with a guy, I’m gay.” The brunette blinked his eyes widely while gaping at the younger.

“Are you uncomfortable with that hyung?” Yixing shook his head no; avoiding Jongin’s gaze.

“Well I’m glad you’re not. As I was telling you, I fell for my best friend but he never felt the same towards me, I mean I never asked but you could tell. He was too busy chasing after other girls. I tried to get over him—“ Jongin took a deep breath before adding. ”—but I couldn’t. The fact of us being friends and close all the freaking time only made things worse for me. The guy clearly never noticed my lingering stares, how I would drop everything and go running for him when he needs me. I felt hopeless until we got to high school. Everything changed, we had different classes and interests. The only thing we shared was our passion for dance.” Yixing felt somehow related to the younger’s story, he too was in love with his childhood’s best friend, but he had no idea if the blond felt the same or not. The brunette was suddenly terrified of what was about to come when he confesses his undying feelings to his best friend. Would he feel the same? Or was he going to get his heart broken just like the Korean male sitting across from him?

“High school was surprisingly an enjoyable experience, it helped me so much with forgetting about my unrequited love towards my friend. Our friendship fell apart somehow and I actually started having feelings towards this guy, Do Kyungsoo. He was such an angelic creature, smart, caring and brutally honest.” Jongin beamed at the memory and Yixing smiled.

“He was always there for me you know, through every sad and happy moment in my life Kyungsoo hyung was always there.” Suddenly the grin on the younger’s mouth faltered.

“After two years of dating, Kyungsoo hyung—he…” Yixing reached his hand to squeeze the younger’s one reassuringly with a worried frown.

“What happened?” The brunette could tell the younger was struggling to hold back his tears.

“He died.” Yixing’s eyes widened at the short heart breaking statement.

“I’m so sorry Jongin.” The tanned male shook his head.

“He knew he was going to die, but never said a word to me. I was so mad at him hyung, I didn’t even go to his funeral.” Yixing squeezed Jongin’s hand even tighter.

“He suffered from blood cancer, I was so hurt that he didn’t trust me enough to let me be there for him.”

“Perhaps he just didn’t want you to get hurt.” The brunette said softly while caressing the tanned male’s hand; trying but failing to calm him down.

“But I did get hurt hyung, I felt betrayed. Everyone knew except me. Can you believe it? I was even madder at myself for not noticing.” Jongin clenched his jaw in irritation.

“Never mind, at least what happened to me at that time helped patch things up with my best friend, which I soon found out was into guys. As I told you before he fell for the pretty Chinese transfer student, I actually helped him to get with the guy. I was captain of the soccer team, and it helped.” Yixing blinked in daze for a few seconds.

“Your best friend is that Sehun guy?” Jongin hummed.

“I thought I was over him at first. But when he got back together with Luhan, everything I ever felt for him, the love I had once buried was back on the surface.” The tanned male chewed on his lower lip before adding.

“You’d think I’ll learn to forget and get over my silly unrequited love, but I didn’t. I was back to loving my best friend with him being clueless of course. When Luhan broke up with him, it was finally my chance to confess, Sehun was vulnerable and broken. He was just there, ready for someone to love him and get him out of his depression, but I was a coward. I didn’t do anything hyung I just—I was just there…” Jongin trailed; eyes glued to the window.

“I don’t think you’re a coward, Jongin.” The younger averted his eyes from the train’s window to Yixing’s ones.

“The fact that you loved someone so sincerely—the fact that you were brave enough to accept the one you love being with someone else, makes you seem brave and strong to me. You never confessed because you were probably still hurt, it’s not easy losing someone whom you’ve been with for years. Especially when you find out you were clueless about something that would change your life dramatically. I think Kyungsoo loved you enough to not want to drag you into his mess. I don’t know this Sehun guy, but I can assure you that it’s his loss.” Yixing smiled softly trying to change the gloomy mood that came from nowhere.

Jongin was staring with wide brown eyes at the brunette, he suddenly ran his thumb over the pale hand that was clutching his' making Yixing take his hand away quickly with a blush. The brunette totally forgot about his hand; he was too overwhelmed with the story that he didn’t notice the action he was doing, and how wrong it was for two strangers.

“Thank you hyung.” Yixing locked eyes with the younger for a few seconds before averting them toward the window; a small smile playing on his pale face.

They sat in a comfortable silence; both enjoying the beautiful scenery passing by. Yixing’s thoughts were back to his family; if anyone was a coward between the two, it was undoubtedly him. Running away from something he had always known was going to happen someday; he was used to running away from things. He also had a chance three years ago to confess his feelings to his best friend but he was too afraid of rejection. He didn’t want to lose the only person he ever had on his side. Yifan was there for him through every bump in his life. He couldn’t lose him, not for a stupid unrequited feeling at least. But now everything changed, he was going to be forced into an arranged marriage, even though he run away it didn