Sunday is park day especially if the weather is good which it is. This Sunday Kyungsoo is determined to take Jongin with him on their first Sunday ‘living’ together. So he chooses the warmer clothes from his wardrobe for the other boy to wear, prepares his Digimon cards (with the extra deck for the other to play) and when he thinks that they are ready, he takes Jongin silently down the hall into the main door direction.

He hurries to open it, fumbling with the door handle and pushes Jongin out just in time because his mother is coming to kiss him goodbye. “Be careful when you cross the street,” she says as a last warning, closing the door of their house after with Kyungsoo already on the outside. And then they are free to go.

Before catching the elevator, Kyungsoo gives a last look at Joonmyeon’s door. This is the first time ever that he doesn’t knock on the older boy’s door to invite him to go to the park with him – he decided that it was for the best because he doesn’t want the other to suspect anything about Jongin and Joonmyeon is too clever for his own good.

Jongin is right beside him on their way there. He is smiling an awful lot and it makes Kyungsoo forget all about Joonmyeon and his guilt on leaving him behind and concentrate just on Jongin. “You are really happy, aren’t you?” Jongin has a certain bounce on his step – electric and light – very cheerful all in all. It is highly contagious.

He smiles warmly, “It’s my first time out of the house in a week. I missed the park.”

Not completely true. Jongin missed the air, the sounds, the light, the wind, the colours... After so much time living outside it was a little hard to be locked every day at home. He doesn’t want to complain though, since Kyungsoo is already being so good to him and he honestly wouldn’t exchange this boy for the outside freedom. He just can’t stop himself from wishing for a walk around the neighbourhood every other couple of days.

When they reach the park’s entry Kyungsoo spots Sehun on their usual place on the grass, the other boy sensing him and looking up then waving back, “Sehun is already here! Let’s run Jongin-ah!” The Digimon expert beams at Jongin, voice eager and enthusiastic and both start running to reach that spot on the grass faster.

Abruptly Kyungsoo stops mid-way noticing Jongdae on the floor close to Sehun, half hidden behind him and grabs Jongin’s arm to halt him too. “Jongdae is there too,” he points out, a grimace fast appearing on his face which is unnoticed by Jongin.

“Yay! Jongdae is fun! I like him.”

Kyungsoo’s head jerks in Jongin’s direction, revealing his eyebrows threateningly low on his forehead and his eyelids squint as he snarls, “No! You don’t like him!”

Jongin almost shrinks, shocked at his friend’s reaction “I- I don’t? Why?”

“His grandma was saying bad things about you and he promised her not to play with you ever again!”

Jongin gasps, his eyes widening – transpiring his distress – and he swallows hard having a difficulty in breathing all of the sudden. His right hand comes to rest on top of his fast beating heart by instinct and holds on to it hard, crumpling the jacket on that area – it’s almost as if he can feel his heart separating under his fingers.

A situation like this was aimed to happen, but it came a lot sooner than Jongin anticipated. He was very certain that one day Kyungsoo and his friends would abandon him (as everyone else did).

Yet… now being set aside by Kyungsoo’s friends… It could only mean that soon Kyungsoo himself would also give up on him.

Jongin feels ice between the separate pieces of his damaged heart at the thought, burning him on the inside and he takes a deep breath to keep it all in – it doesn’t feel good. “It’s okay. That’s normal,” he replies after a moment of gathering himself up, his voice sounding small even in his head.

Kyungsoo isn’t having any of those passive attitudes though, his insides are burning with pure hate for Jongdae and he furiously declares “No, it’s not okay! I won’t play with him ever again. And Sehun won’t too! I know him.” He sighs, feeling like a very tired grown up dealing with a work crisis. “Just don’t speak to him, okay? I will take care of everything. Follow me.”

Sehun has his brows crumpled, his eyes narrowed and intense on Kyungsoo’s red angry face. He senses that something smells fishy, yet it’s Jongin behind him that caches his interest – clean and fresh Jongin arriving with Kyungsoo instead of being at the park with them waiting. Something is definitely suspicious. Jongdae’s abnormally quiet behaviour while sitting next to him only supports that. “What did you do this time?”

Jongdae whimpers and his body shakes in distress, never taking his eyes from Kyungsoo almost as if he is waiting for an attack from the other.

Oh heavens! Sehun just wants a nice Sunday to play Digimon card battles with his friends, is that asking for too much?

First that dirty (now clean) stray puppy appeared, then the other kids had to fight the puppy and Kyungsoo had to be the hero, and now what?

“Hi Sehun-ah.”

“Hi Kyungsoo-yah. What’s going on?” He glances suspiciously at Jongin, because he knows it has something to do with the stray boy, he just knows it.

“I have to tell you something, but not near him.” Kyungsoo points out at Jongdae, whose shoulders hunch forward and gaze drops to his shoes on the grass, avoiding Kyungsoo totally. “Let’s go over those trees. Come on Jongin-ah.”

“Can I stay here, please?” Jongin whispers to Kyungsoo when the latter turns to him at his lack of movement. Kyungsoo blinks his eyes in surprise. Even so he hurriedly nods, agreeing – there are more pressing things to take care of at the moment. He guides Sehun until they reach some trees far away enough for the other two boys to be able to hear them.

Kyungsoo has known Sehun for almost five years now. They met at the park, being quick to form a strong friendship. He likes Sehun very much for his sensibility and playfulness but above all for his loyalty. That’s why he knows that he can trust Sehun and tell him about everything that happened last Sunday afternoon. From the man that attacked them to Jongdae’s grandma yet he goes beyond that, admitting the truth about Jongin and how Kyungsoo had decided to keep him. He also repeatedly stresses the importance of why Jongin needs to be hidden from adults especially policemen.

Sehun feels confused and perplexed and takes his time to digest the new information, only listening with half attention Kyungsoo repeating his speech about secrets and hiding Jongin.

He doesn’t look very pleased, but Kyungsoo knows from experience that the other boy has a heart made of butter with an already soft spot forming for his Jongin.

In the end and after a very painful waiting time for Kyungsoo, Sehun agrees to protect Jongin and with his patience finally reaching its limits, he demands that they go back to their card battles game. So the two boys go back to call Jongin before they start a new game as in every Sunday routine, Kyungsoo feeling so proud of his best friend from the park.

Meanwhile Jongdae is feeling desperate. He remembers Kyungsoo hasty farewell last Sunday and he was afraid things would turn out like this, that’s why he was so nervous about coming to the park today. He doesn’t have anything against Jongin – he likes the boy! – those things he said were just to please his grandmother. Everyone knows how tenacious grandmas can be with their affairs, right? He didn’t have any intention of staying away from the boy. It is just playing anyway, what could Jongin possibly do that is so dangerous?

“Kyungsoo told me what happened with your grandmother.” Jongdae’s jaw drops open and he stares in disbelief at Jongin, not expecting to be addressed by the quiet new boy at all.

“I’m really sorr-” He tries when he manages to recover from his petrified state.

“That’s okay. People say that to me… a lot,” Jongin voices quietly. He honestly doesn’t blame Jongdae or his grandmother, this is just a usual effect that he has on people and Jongin has come to accept it with time. Mostly.

Oh. “Yeah...” Jongdae bits his lower lip and starts tearing off grass’ leaves to little pieces. In reality he doesn’t feel that it’s okay and Kyungsoo most surely doesn’t feel that’s okay either. But if Jongin says so… Jongdae abandons the grass in favour of biting his nails when it’s not enough to calm him down.

“I don’t mind if you still play with us.”

“Really?? I can play with you guys?” He looks earnestly at Jongin.

In reply Jongin gives him a small smile and Jongdae thinks it is more like a sad face than a smile. Anyway he feels a lot better now, if Jongin says he is okay with it Kyungsoo will be okay with it for sure, right?

However, when he looks at Kyungsoo and Sehun’s direction, he doesn’t get that feeling at all. Kyungsoo catches him staring and a shiver runs down his spine with just the power of the glare that he receives from the other boy. If glares had the power to kill, Jongdae wouldn't be here anymore.

“Hi, boys! How's everything?” Joonmyeon’s smiling figure appears between the two of them.

“Hyung!” Jongdae magically forgets everything bad that is happening at the moment and throws himself at the eleven-year-old boy, his mood escalating spontaneously. Joonmyeon is his favourite hyung of all times and he wishes he could spend his full days playing together with the other (just the two of them). Jongdae puts his arms around the older boy’s torso carefully and lays his head on his shoulder with his eyes focusing on the other’s turtleneck. He knows that underneath this piece of clothing is Joonmyeon’s fragile and hurt neck and his heart hurts just by thinking about the other’s wounds. “Are you better, hyung?”

“Hey, little one. I’m feeling good and how about you? Are you good too?” Joonmyeon pats the younger’s back and head softly, feeling a small hand cupping his neck cautiously. He was surprised that when he rang on his neighbour’s door earlier, Kyungsoo had already left for the park. But then thinking that it probably had everything to do with Jongdae and Jongin and what happened last Sunday. He too didn’t waste another minute before also rushing over to the park.

 “–’m kay, hyung.”

Joonmyeon feels the little cat that he has in his arms snuggling on his shoulder and an easy smile makes way to his face without him even noticing. “Yeah? And what about you Jongin-ah, are you okay?”

Not actually expecting to be addressed, Jongin blushes profusely. His heart gaining a faster beat feeling embarrassed in the confines of his chest and his cheeks burning on his face. Even so and taking more time than he would in a normal situation, the boy remembers how to move again and bows deeply, nodding his head the fastest that the position allows him. “Thank you- Thank you very much for the vitamins, h-hyung. I have been taking them every day.” Jongin has been wishing for even a glimpse of the older boy, an opportunity to thank him for his great generosity for a stranger like him.

“Oh.” So they really were for Jongin. “You are welcome. I hope that you feel better really soon.” Joonmyeon lets go of the boy in his arms and ruffles Jongin’s hair instead, a tad too long for a boy maybe, but very soft and clean like it should be.

Wait. Something is wrong here.

“Hyung, do you want to play with me? Please, hyung, please. Say yes!”

Jongdae steals the older boy’s attention and breaks his train of thoughts by jumping around him. “Yes, of course.” Joonmyeon readily agrees, his eyes searching for Jongin’s silhouette and analysing him discreetly.

For a moment he thinks that the clothes that the other is wearing are awfully familiar, but he shakes that thought away. How could that possibly be the case?

Shortly after Kyungsoo and Sehun join them and the situation only goes down the gutter. His younger neighbour stubbornly refuses to forgive Jongdae and makes sure that Sehun follows after him. Of course that – being the brats that they are – not even Jongdae’s tears are enough to receive some empathy and they end up all fighting against each other.

Surprising all four of them, what finishes this conflict is Jongin, who insists on playing with Jongdae, justifying himself with his lack of love for the Digimon card battles. And Joonmyeon is astonished to witness how Jongin's position backtracks Kyungsoo from his fury and calms down his anger, working like a tranquilizer of quick action on the boy.

In the end, Kyungsoo and Sehun spend all afternoon playing card battles while the other three boys have fun together in the playground, each of the younger ones trying hard to catch the older boy’s attention.

Kyungsoo supervises and controls Jongin from afar the whole time, worried that Jongdae would attack the later which was totally ridiculous in Joonmyeon’s opinion. But for the first time he sees glimpses of what this new boy really means to his younger neighbour, being surprised with how deep their connection appears to be even if Joonmyeon is sure that they don't know each other for more than a month.

Clean Jongin is also confusing him, because the last time that he saw the boy he looked very dirty, smelled awful and his clothes were seriously damaged. However now he looks perfectly ordinary, smells like wash detergent and is dressed in good warm clothes. Perhaps there was a system of monthly cleaning in the boy’s home and Jongin's time to shower this month had been yesterday? Not likely though. Still the younger was definitely winning Joonmyeon’s heart – piece by piece – with his puppy like laugh and his shy but fair opinions.

The weather has been cooling down lately with the worst part of the winter approaching fast and Joonmyeon gives up of being outside sooner than the younger, feeling the cold reaching his bones and freezing his fingers. Kyungsoo feels bad seeing him leave, usually he goes with Joonmyeon and if they still have time they play together in one of their houses. But again one look at Jongin and he forgets all about the older boy.

It's for a good cause after all.

 

In all honesty Kyungsoo isn’t counting with the way the situation gets out of his control. It starts when he tries to bring Jongin back home. Kyungsoo leaves him on the stairs outside the hall on his floor – just to keep him hidden in case someone walks by – and goes inside to check if the coast is clear. What he isn't expecting is his mother that grabs him by the arm and drags him to the bathroom to take a bath, half heartily scolding about being too cold and dark outside for Kyungsoo to only come back this late.

Very much against his will he washes himself up and immediately after is called to the kitchen to have dinner without even having time to get close to the main door.

His parents try to talk with him about how his afternoon went, but Kyungsoo can only think about Jongin and Jongin waiting for him on the stairs outside alone, so his replies come short and distracted. Although he can see the growing displeasure in his parents features and the sour mood that’s settling in the house.

After dinner his mother reasons that it is an excellent time to check on his homework to Kyungsoo absolute dismay. So she takes her time going from book to book, making him correct every little mistake and even redo a full copy that the teacher had asked them to do, just because she didn’t like Kyungsoo’s calligraphy in it.

Time is ticking and each moment is making him more and more nervous because he has no way of knowing about Jongin. Is he okay? He should be hungry without dinner, probably feeling bored and alone on the stairs. At least Kyungsoo hopes he is still on the stairs. It was where he had left him.

The uncertainty of Jongin’s place in the world is leaving Kyungsoo very fidgety lately. He is starting to become aware that Jongin could disappear as quickly as he had appeared in his life. That is why he was so reluctant in taking his eyes off the boy and now that he is completely out of Kyungsoo’s sight nothing is stopping Jongin from disappearing.

During the correction, he makes lots of mistakes since he is too absent in his thoughts and after a while his mother gets really angry at his lack of cooperation and surly attitude which only makes her carry their session longer.

This whole situation really gets on his nerves if the constant foot tapping and sitting positon changing are something to tell by. Kyungsoo shouldn’t be here with his mum correcting useless homework that he is going to correct anyway tomorrow at school. He should be here with Jongin playing something together and his mum should be outside of his room.

What could Jongin be doing now? Still waiting for Kyungsoo, right? He wouldn’t leave.

Right?

But then there is a chance that Jongin might have already left.

When Kyungsoo looks at the clock on his nightstand and notices that Jongin has been on the outside for almost three hours he feels so hopeless that he could cry of exasperation. He just wants to finally shove is mother out of his room. She is ruining his life!

His mother decides to consider the work done an eternity after and leaves the room. By then Kyungsoo is more than ready to run to the main door and bring Jongin home, still just after stepping one foot in the hall his mother is back giving him new orders to go brush his teeth.

A growing feeling of contriteness and impotence settles in his stomach as he brushes his teeth harshly, his arms rigid with tension. He’s not going to sleep without Jongin – Kyungsoo promises himself as he gives a final determined glance at his own eyes in the bathroom’s mirror and puts away his tooth brush next to Jongin’s hidden one.

So it is only logical that he stubbornly refuses to go to bed no matter how big is his mother’s wrath when she tries to talk him out of it.

After a while she gives up on talks and gives a warning that Kyungsoo knows oh too well that means big trouble for his side. “I’m going to call your father,” she says before leaving his room quickly.

Only the words are enough to make Kyungsoo’s spine dance in fear and in the time of her absence, he wobbles from side to side standing up on his bed, the growing panic setting in his gut.

Mr. Do appears too soon on his bedroom door as a bear ready to attack, the hall being a lot more illuminated than his bedroom cascading shadows on his silhouette and his eyes reflecting clearly his disapproval of Kyungsoo’s behaviour. “What is this that I heard about my son not wanting to go to bed?” His voice grave and stern reaches the frightened boy until the core of his bones.

“I-I-I can’t go-go daddy,” Kyungsoo is now doing little jumps from one foot to the other on the mattress, his hands squeezing one another out of fear.

“I’m going to give you one opportunity to lie down right now-”

“No, no daddy. I can’t…”

“One,” his father starts counting and the boy’s head moves frantically from side to side, his legs shaking slightly in fear, but still he doesn’t make any motion to lie down. “Two. This fight of yours against school isn’t going to take you anywhere son. You only make the whole family angry-”.

“Daddy, please! It’s not that this time!” Fat tears have already found their way down the boy’s cheeks and now erratic breathing comes along too.

His father however doesn’t wait for number ‘three’ and goes straight to his bed. He grabs Kyungsoo’s arms tightly, forcing him to lie down and shoving him under the blankets and sheets.

In vain the boy struggles the best that he can repeatedly trying to get up.

“Kyungsoo! I will not tolerate this kind of behaviour! Stop! NOW!” Tired of his son’s fight Mr. Do loses his patience and slaps the boy one time on his face and four more times on his , Kyungsoo halting instantly at the touch of his father’s heavy hand. Having finally an unmoving body that is a lot more cooperative than a child’s tantrum, he shoves the boy under the blankets and sheets properly and waits a moment to see if he is going to resist again.

At the sight of a quiet body Mr. Do takes his leave, turning off the nightstand light and closing the door behind him.

Left in his room Kyungsoo cries loudly and waits for a sleep that he is sure that’s never going to come because his conscience is still very much flooded with guilt for leaving a certain boy in the stairs outside completely alone, for leaving a friend who depends solely on him.

 

While he is lying on his bed very quietly trying to sleep, more two hours pass by and he is still awake to hear the distinct moment when his parents withdraw for the night, closing their bedroom’s door for good measure.

Kyungsoo probably takes more time than he should have – were he better at elaborating plans – to understand that now is his chance to go outside and bring Jongin. He hurries to get out of the bed and very carefully opens his bedroom door, trying not to make any possible sound. His still burns and his face aches too much, however it is his heart that is heavier with the pain than any other body part and the last thing that Kyungsoo wants (or needs) is for his father to come after him again.

He reaches the main door successfully, not caring about putting on his sneakers as he gently opens the door and gets out. Once free on the hall the boy all but runs to the stairs, small bare feet making little sounds as they touch the hall’s floor.

Kyungsoo opens the door that leads to the stairs and blindly tries to turn on the light, being momentarily dazed when he succeeds. He spots Jongin immediately curled in a fetal position on the floor sleeping soundlessly.

For the first time in hours, Kyungsoo feels that he can breathe properly, taking generous amounts of air in his lungs as he savours it greedily.

Jongin is okay and still very much on the same place where Kyungsoo had left him. Everything is going to be alright now.

He kneels close to the other boy’s head and runs his fingers gently through his long strands – like his mother does to him while waking him up when he falls asleep on the sofa. Jongin’s eyebrows are doing little ticks up and down on his forehead and Kyungsoo assumes that the other is having another nightmare.

Jongin has a lot of nightmares Kyungsoo noticed, and waking him up unkindly is a very cruel mistake that after the first couple of times of witnessing the other boy’s body shaking as if he had been electrocuted and his eyes shut tightly in pure fear, Kyungsoo never wants to do again.

Jongin’s eyes don’t take long to open and he jolts away from Kyungsoo’s touch that at the same time grabs Jongin's head gently and ducks down in an attempt to be in the other’s line of sight. “It’s me Jongin-ah. It’s me,” he says as softly as he can.

“Kyungsoo-yah?” Jongin’s voice is hoarse and comes out slowly.

“Hey. Let’s go home now, okay?” Jongin nods his head numbly and gets up slowly, feeling his right side a lot more cold than the left and his muscles really stiff. He reaches blindly for Kyungsoo’s hand as a safety measure and the other boy guides him back to the house.

Kyungsoo is very careful about the noise they make once they enter and helps Jongin take off his shoes (Kyungsoo’s shoes actually) at the entrance, taking them back to their room and hiding them in the wardrobe after (too late remembering that it was not really necessary). He only feels safe when both he and Jongin are in their beds snuggled and all set to sleep. Jongin is still holding on to his hand and after all the misfortunes that happened on this day, that’s what brings him more comfort, making him fall asleep almost instantly.

 

Days totally uneventful come and go. Kyungsoo tries hard to behave and not bring attention on himself, in case that can put Jongin in danger too. It’s hard if he is honest, it’s really hard. However he thinks he manages it.

Jongin is slowly appearing stronger and stronger. His skin has a more natural colour and he barely coughs anymore, his stomach stopped hurting too. Kyungsoo attributes that to the power of the vitamins that he incites Jongin to take diligently and that the other boy dutifully follows. Joonmyeon also helps him buy more when the first bottles are over.

By now Kyungsoo knows all too well that Jongin doesn’t have any other person in the whole world, depending only on him for his wellbeing. But that’s completely okay with Kyungsoo, he wants to be the only person for Jongin and truthfully if Jongin has him, he doesn’t need anyone else. Kyungsoo is everything Jongin needs and if he is missing something to be the perfect person for Jongin, he will make sure that he gets it fast so that he can comprehend everything that the other boy needs.

One afternoon the boys are playing with some of Kyungsoo’s old wooden tops, since Jongin prefers games where he can use his hands for more than just holding a game controller, and even though Kyungsoo doesn’t share that passion, he tries to please him at least one third of their time together.

Therefore, they are in the middle of a competition to see which boy’s wooden top could spin longer, when Jongin leans forward and causes his hair to fall to his eyes. On that moment is the first time that Kyungsoo notices how truly long Jongin’s hair is. He had never seen a boy with such long hair and that attracts his curiosity, like a magnet is attracted to the refrigerator’s door. “Why do you like to wear your hair so long?” he asks.

Jongin is too focused, having already removed the long fringe from his eyes in a reflex hand movement and going back to being absorbed in the game. He takes a bit to form an answer. “I- I- my hair? But I don’t like it.”

“What? You don’t like it?” Kyungsoo’s interest in the game was close to being minimal and now that an opportunity for a distraction came along he readily takes it. “Then why do you keep it that way? Someone made you?”

“I… Where was I going to cut my hair? Adults used to cut my hair, but. Now who is supposed to do it?” Jongin looks up at Kyungsoo, an absolutely lost expression shaping his features.

“You could have cut it yourself silly. The house has lots of scissors that you could have used!” Kyungsoo promptly gets up and goes to pick up his desk’s scissor. “Come here, let me help you.” He doesn’t waste a beat and stoops down in front on Jongin, one hand grabbing a tress of the other boy’s hair and the other the scissor ready to cut it.

“You cut your hair like this too?” Jongin’s innocent eyes reveal his full trust in his friend’s actions, when they lock eyes with each other.

The question halts Kyungsoo’s actions, “No. I actually go to a barber with Joonmyeon.”

“Oh.”

Suddenly Kyungsoo feels that he is being unfair with Jongin for not offering him the same conditions that he himself has, but surely he could do a job as good as the barber, right? Certain that Jongin is going to prefer him anyway, he asks, “Do you want to cut your hair there too?”

Jongin’s parts his lips in a soft surprised gasp, furrowing a brow in deep thought after.

Kyungsoo is giving him a choice right now.

He can decide something about himself.

Jongin feels his chest swelling up in pride and the responsibility descending upon his shoulders. Along his life there hasn’t been anyone who has given him a chance to choose something important about himself before and Jongin could not be happier for having one.

But what to choose?

It’s not that he doubts that Kyungsoo is going to cut his hair properly. It’s just that, going to the barber where Joonmyeon-hyung usually goes it’s highly alluring to him. Hyungs always know what is best. “I want to go to the barber.” He doesn’t know why but he feels so nervous out of the sudden, so he grabs the hem sweater he his wearing (Kyungsoo’s) and adds, “Please. If it’s possible.”

“We will go tomorrow then,” Kyungsoo tries to reply nonchalantly even if he feels his pride hurting. Who was expecting that coming out? And now how is Kyungsoo supposed to deny Jongin?

“But, don’t you have classes tomorrow?” Jongin is still kneeling on the floor, wooden tops long forgotten, and he glances up hopefully at Kyungsoo.

“Yes, but let me worry about that.” He tries to wink confidently, but it’s still an under developed skill for him so it comes out more as a grimace.

To all his merit Jongin attempts to not laugh and changes the subject, “You wanna do the homework now? Before your parents arrive?”

Now it’s a true grimace making its way onto Kyungsoo’s face, “As if I had much choice.” The boy goes to his school bag and takes his notebooks and books, passing the Mathematics’ and Korean’s to Jongin and abandoning the others on the floor close to his feet.

Ever since Jongin mastered the ability of reading, Kyungsoo has been trying to keep him up to date with their daily lessons at school, handing out his homework to the other boy so that he could test his new knowledge (and relieve Kyungsoo of a part of his work). After some days of successful Korean’s homework, Kyungsoo thought about adding Mathematics’ because every adult always expresses how important it is to learn that (and also Mathematics’ homework is the most frustrating, terribly long and completely and utterly boring and useless that Kyungsoo has ever had a chance of doing).

Jongin is no expert obviously if every wrong answer that Kyungsoo has to correct when they are revising the homework at the beginning of the classes is anything to go by (and one time he made a fool out of himself when it was his turn to go to the board and wrote the solutions, yet Jongin’s answers made no sense at all and some of the smart kids of the front rows even laughed at him), but at least it is a lot better than actually doing the work himself. And Jongin even likes to do the work.

He looks at boy in question already writing the answers for a Korean text in Kyungsoo’s notebook, his calligraphy is still the ugliest that Kyungsoo has ever seen, but they will work on that and make it look more like Kyungsoo’s so that the teachers don’t suspect anything. Jongin likes to do the Korean’s homework first, because he has a preference for that subject. At school today they didn’t learn anything new on that, so it’s easy for Jongin to follow the text that Kyungsoo marked as homework and work on the quiz about it. However Mathematics is a bit more challenging, Kyungsoo struggles to explain well what they learned in class, and on his turn Jongin fails to do the exercises correctly.

 

On the next day Kyungsoo manages to run away from his extra classes – quite literally. The feeling of his head rolling out of his body at the probability of his parents finding out, all too present in his chest during his escape, isn’t enough to stop him.

He picks up Jongin at the apartment and brings his hidden allowance money too. Then he meticulously tries to map the path that Joonmyeon usually takes him through with Jongin on his tail. They have almost 3 hours to go and come back safely, but Kyungsoo thinks that they can do it. He is proven right when in less than fifteen minutes he finds the proper place, a smug smile on his face when he walks inside with the other boy.

There is another man having a haircut and being this is a small shop it only has one person working, so Kyungsoo grabs Jongin’s hand to take him to the small green plastic chairs next to the window. The boys don’t talk, the insecurity of the risk that they are making rising up in their stomachs, but Kyungsoo knows that he needs to be stronger for Jongin.

When the former customer leaves, not wasting a second glance at the boys, Kyungsoo brings Jongin to the front with him – the barber giving him a questioning look – and voices out “We want you to cut his hair.” He pushes Jongin a bit in the man’s direction. “A cool style. As the hyungs use.” Last night Jongin shyly admitted that he wanted a cut like Joonmyeon-hyung had, he wanted to look more grown up so people thought better of him. Kyungsoo takes his allowance money from his coat pocket and puts it in the man’s hands, “We have money to pay for a good service mister, so cut his hair good.” Kyungsoo shows his most serious face, looking the man in the eye to be taken seriously.

The barber’s lips turn up effortlessly, his warm features showing nicely on his face. His soft tittering being heard through the silent barber shop, “Sure thing kid. A very cool hyung’s cut coming out right away for this charming friend of yours.” The man moves to stand being a barber chair and does a beckoning movement in the boy’s direction, “Come sit here little man.”

Jongin is in an awe state by Kyungsoo’s bravery and numbingly sits on the said chair after a reassuring push from the other boy. He sits and watches as the man cuts a huge portion of his hair, asking for Kyungsoo’s approval from time to time and even winking at Jongin.

When the man finishes, he asks for the two boys approval and hands back the change with a big smile on his lips, wishing the boys a safe trip back home.

On his way back Jongin can’t keep his hands out of his hair, feeling how short and nicely cut it is. His lips permanently turn up.

He spends a good seven minutes looking at himself in the bathroom’s mirror after their bath and although Kyungsoo shrugs and passes by him displeased with the action, he knows that the other boy also likes his new cut because that night he falls asleep with his hand on Jongin’s head.

 

It is the weekend and they are playing silently inside the wardrobe, being careful because Kyungsoo’s mum is walking throughout the entire apartment in cleaning duty.

“Kyungsoo,” suddenly her voice calls and if it’s possible both boys jump a meter in the air, grabbing each other hands in their frightened state. “Kyungsoo! Come here immediately!”

The said boy takes a moment to recompose himself and takes a deep breathe. “It’s probably nothing, don’t worry,” he whispers to the other, before getting up and going tentatively after the voice.

He finds her next to the washing machine, several pieces of clothes grouped into piles around her. “There you are. I don’t understand why lately you always take so long to get out of that room of yours.” She picks up two worn out sweaters and a pair of sweatpants with holes on the knees, Kyungsoo recognising their owner straightway. “Whose clothes are these Kyungsoo?”

A chill travels down his spine and Kyungsoo’s arms shake in distress. “Hum? Can you explain me how they appeared here for me to wash? Because I know for sure that I didn’t buy any of these for you,” she presses on.

Kyungsoo feels so small under her scrutinizing gaze. He just knows that he has to keep his mouth shut or else everything that he worked for will be over. Jongin will be gone. His parents will make sure that he never sets his eyes on him again. “I’m waiting Kyungsoo,” his mother starts to stomp her foot while raising an eyebrow at him, a clear sign that she is not pleased.

He gulps down the stone that he has on his throat and murmurs “I don’t know...”

“‘You don’t know’,” she repeats and Kyungsoo knows then that it was the wrong thing to say. “So you are saying that you have nothing to do with the appearance of these clothes. How did they end up here Kyungsoo? Is there a stranger living in this house that puts his clothes for me to wash? Is that that you are saying?”

“NO!” he shouts. “No! It was me. I brought these clothes.” His voice sounds weird even to his own ears and Kyungsoo feels as if he was late and had to run to catch the bus. “I- I found them! On the garbage outside,” he points his arm to the window as if the garbage bin was on the other side. “And- And I thought that they were good to use. That I- I could use them. They just needed to be cleaned.” He is out of breath and gulps don’t his panic to look at his mother’s face.

She looks carefully at him and does not appear to be believing in his words at all. And Kyungsoo fears. He fears because she usually can see through all his lies.

At last she sighs, “I will throw this trash away and don’t you dare to do another one like this or else I am going to tell your father Kyungsoo. And you are going to be in big trouble my boy.” She turns around grumbling about ‘boys messing with what they shouldn’t’, nonetheless Kyungsoo seems to have gotten away and takes his chance to disappear to his room right away.

Adrenalin pumps through his veins when he enters his room as a hero, yet is frozen in place by a very pitiful looking Jongin at the farthest corner of the wardrobe. The other boy’s eyes filled to the brim with unshed tears and a hiccup leaving his mouth when he looks up at Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo is shocked. What the hell happened here in his absence?

“Hey what’s going on? Are you scared? Cuz you don’t need to be. She doesn’t know about you.” Another hiccup leaves the other boy’s mouth and this time tears start rolling down his cheeks. Jongin doesn’t make any movement. And truthfully Kyungsoo doesn’t understand what is happening, but he tries again. “Hey, men don’t cry, you know? You can’t cry.” A louder hiccup leaves Jongin’s mouth and he cries harder. Kyungsoo stomps back at the reaction utterly hopeless, “Okay, okay. I was wrong. You can cry all you want obviously. What difference does it make if you are a man or a girl? None. Cry it all,” he nods still too lost to grasp the situation.

Jongin moves slightly forward, grabs the wardrobe door and closes it slowly with him on the inside and Kyungsoo on the outside, going back to his former position. He shrinks on himself, the smallest possible until he feels nothing more than himself. Somewhere far away in his mind he feels grateful for Kyungsoo letting him be alone.

How can he possibly explain Kyungsoo so that he can really understand that that few pieces of clothing are his only possessions? And that now Jongin has less three. How much more is he going to lose until there is nothing left? When will he be nothing?

On the other side of the door, Kyungsoo is still lost. And on top of that now he feels sad. But he doesn’t even understand what he did wrong. He saved Jongin from his mother finding out. What is the problem about that? He did everything right.

Kyungsoo messes up his hair out of anger and wants to pull it hard so that his pain on the inside can be paired out with the pain on the outside, but he doesn’t. If Jongin wants to be stupid then let him be. He is going to use his time to do better things.

Kyungsoo sets up his PlayStation with his favourite game, raising the volume up until he can barely hear Jongin’s cries. He focuses hard on the game, so that everything around him disappears from his head.

He is so focused that he doesn’t feel the single tear that falls down his chubby cheek neither the one after that. And when his vision starts to blur he blames it on the quality of the television image.

---

Author’s note: I'm very sorry for the time that this chapter took.
I suffered from writer's block. But you must know that I will not leave this work until it's done.

Thank you all for having waited all this time. I hope you like the final result.