The recurring dream frightened Vera.  Every night she remembered something a little more distinctly – one night it was the name of one of the boys her parents were trying to force her to marry, another night it was one of her friends’ domestic situations.  But still, one thing stood out to her, and it was the name Sim Jeonghye.

Who was Sim Jeonghye, she wondered, and why did the name roll so easily off her tongue?  Why was her given name second and her family name first?  Why was she now so positive that the dream had not occurred on present day Earth, but in some other alternate universe?  Why did that fact bother her at all, for it had only been a dream, right?  Vera was certain that the reason she was so caught up in the dream was because it was her very first recurring one.  But maybe the reason it was recurring was because she was thinking about it constantly, she thought.  So she resolved to stop thinking about it.  It did not work, and it did not help.

It was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving when Sienna and her parents finally returned home.  Vera greeted them warmly, but her parents had to go out again that night for business in the heart of the city.  Sienna greeted Vera with a cute new dress that she had picked up in London, shoes that she had found in Milan, and a bag that she had noticed in New York City.  Glad to see her sister, Sienna insisted that they bond over a makeover, and Vera could do nothing but agree.

While Sienna stopped and turned Vera around to look at her seriously.  “Little sis,” she said solemnly, “something is clearly on your mind.  What is it?”

“It’s nothing,” Vera said quietly as she glanced in the mirror.  She hardly recognized herself with the makeup her sister had so artfully painted on her face.

“Nonsense,” said Sienna.  “I’m your big sister.  You can talk to me.”

“It’s stupid,” Vera said.

Sienna sighed.  “Have Mom and Dad got you feeling like a charity case again?  Because if that’s it, I’m going to have a long talk with them.  It’s bad enough that they make up all these excuses to spirit me away like I’m their favorite or something while they leave you behind to deal with your senior year in college alone.”

“It’s not that,” Vera said.  “It’s more frivolous.”

“Is it boys?” Sienna asked hopefully.  “Because if it is, let me tell you, girl, it’s about time!  Say, are you crushing on those band boys?  Because if you are, it’s totally okay.  They look damn fine!  In fact, I think I might be into them.”

“No, I’m dreaming,” Vera said.

“Are they censor-worthy dreams?” Sienna asked carefully.  “Because wanting those kinds of things at your age is totally normal.”

“No,” Vera said quickly, her face heating up under her makeup.  “I’m having a weird recurring dream.  And she proceeded to tell Sienna the details.”

Sienna pursed her lips as she listened.  When Vera finished, she thought a moment before saying, “I think you’re feeling lonely and neglected.”

“Why’s that?” Vera asked.

“First of all, let’s talk about the role of your dream parents.  They’re obviously using you as a pawn in their mission for financial success.  That probably means that somewhere in your subconscious you feel like Mom and Dad aren’t treating you right.”

Vera nodded.  “I guess I can see that.”

“I’m so going to confront them about it, too,” Sienna said.  “Next, let’s talk about your friends.  From the way you describe them, as being completely and utterly supportive of you and your decision, they seem like the friends you desire.  Don’t say anything – I know you’re a die-hard introvert, but introverts need friends too.  They just don’t look for the kinds of friends that most extroverted people do.

“Third, let’s talk about the boys your dream parents are trying to get you to marry.  I think that you could be rethinking your choice of major, or maybe you feel like you’re not pursuing what you actually want to do.  Or maybe you feel like you’re being forced to do one thing while you really want to do another.  Whatever it is, your dream seems to reflect that you’re unhappy.”

Vera quietly processed Sienna’s analysis.  “What you say makes sense,” she said finally.  “But how do you know?”

“Whatever’s bothering you in your subconscious mind, in your dream, seems to strike a chord with you in your conscious mind,” Sienna explained.  “It’s so close to home, even if you don’t realize it, that it’s enough to keep you thinking about it and thinking about it to the point that you’re creating a more and more realistic scenario in your mind.  At least, that’s what I think.  I didn’t major in psychology, so I’ve got no idea, really.  But I know that talking stuff out helps.  You’ve told me your dream, and I’ve given you my thoughts, but my thoughts aren’t important – yours are.  So talk to me.”  The older girl scooted back onto her bed and patted the blanket next to her, motioning for Vera to join her.

“Is it weird that the five boys in my dream appear as the five boys from that band?” Vera mumbled.

“Not at all,” Sienna said.  “They were pretty faces, and they’re probably the first guys who actually interested you.  You’re a pretty Chinese girl, and I don’t mean to sound racist or anything, but it really doesn’t surprise me that you like the aesthetic of the Asian male’s face, subconsciously or not.”

“What do you think I should do?” Vera asked.  “My dreams aren’t nightmares, but they’re certainly bothering me.”

Sienna thought for a moment.  “Write.  You enjoy that, don’t you?”  Vera nodded.  “I thought so.  Whenever you wake up from a dream, write down everything you remember to get it off your chest.  That way maybe you can start to see if there are any trends or stuff.”

“Okay,” Vera said.  She looked up and saw herself in the mirror, illuminated by the gentle yellowish glow of Sienna’s lamp.  She really did not look like herself at all, she thought.  In fact, the more she looked in the mirror, the more she saw Jeonghye instead of Vera.

~*\_/*~

Trapped, Vera wrote as the commercial on NBC’s broadcast of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade played in the background.  I was trapped.  Trapped in my parents’ web of power and money.  Trapped by my own physical inability to run away.  I was in a gilded cage, surrounded by luxuries, but I was unhappy.  Was I ungrateful?  I felt so a little.  But as I looked out and saw my friends, the ones who had acted as my family in the absence of my parents even as they faced hardships of their own, being forced away, I felt justified in my resentment of the wealth which my parents had sacrificed so much, even their own daughter and her childhood, for.

“What’s that, Vera?”  Vera looked up.  Her mother had come to join her in front of the television.

“Writing,” Vera said.

“Why don’t you use that nice computer your father and I bought you?” her mother asked.

“I like the feeling of a pen in my hand and paper beneath my fingers,” Vera said almost shyly.

“Hm,” her mother said.  “Interesting.  How are your studies going?”

“Really, Mom?”  Sienna came into the room yawning, a fresh pumpkin milkshake in her hands.  “No school on the holidays, seriously,” she said.  “I think I have PTSD from it still.”

Their mother laughed.  “Typical Sienna,” she said.  “I should’ve expected that comment.”

“In all seriousness, though,” Sienna told their mother firmly, “there are other things more important than school, like personal happiness.”

Their mother nodded absently.  “I know, dear.  What have you got there?  Is it good?”

As the two chatterboxes launched into a conversation about the possible health benefits of pumpkin, Vera turned back to her writing.  There I was a caged bird, kept only for its pretty feathers.  Out there, in the real world, the world where money couldn’t brush every problem under the rug, I might be in danger from predators, but I would be able to fly.  I would be able to join my flock, my real family, even if it might be only for a short time.  They were afraid for me, I knew it.  They thought that if I stayed in my parents’ world, I might be able to receive real medical treatment, and they told me as much to my face.  That was why I loved them.  But they knew just as well as I knew that I would rather die ill but free than live in a cage.

The words flowed so easily.  Vera looked back over what she had just written and wondered why she was so anxious to run away in her dream world.  Thinking about it almost gave her a headache, and she decided that since it was Thanksgiving morning, giving herself a headache over a dream was not worth it.  Instead, she turned her focus to her dream friends themselves.

Seunghyun, she wrote without thinking.  Oldest.  Works hard in school and at his job so he can pay for his university education.  Sometimes acts like a sweet father and sometimes acts like my dorky little brother, even though he’s somehow my legitimate big brother, though we’re not related by blood anymore (?).

Seunghyun, she wrote again.  Nicknamed Seungri.  Abandoned and adopted.  Youngest.  Funny and sweet.  Tried to teach me how to dance but I have two left feet like my brother (?).  She was not sure how she knew that.

Youngbae, she wrote next.  My dear, sweet friend.  Smart but sometimes a little awkward.  Softer spoken than the others and acts like everyone's mother.

Daesung was the word she wrote next.  Has one of the best singing voices I’ve ever heard, though I’m positive he’s never sung to me in my dream ever, so I’m not sure how I know this.  From a big and loving family that faces a lot of financial issues.  Very humorous.

Finally she wrote Jiyong.  Sweet and protective but kind of jaded.  Is quirky and has a fighting spirit.  A perfectionist to a fault.  Takes care of his addict mother in the absence of his father.

More words flowed from her mind through her fingers and to her pen.  Youngbae, Jiyong, Daesung, and Seungri seem to compete in my dream mind for most precious to me, while Seunghyun holds a constant brotherly position.  I don’t know if there’s anything those five wouldn’t do for me.

“Vera, Vera!  Santa’s almost here!”  Sienna’s voice cut their way into Vera’s attention.  Vera looked up, and indeed, there were the iconic elf balloons, and there was the jolly old Santa Claus making his appearance on their television screen.  “I’m gonna go get Dad up!  Christmas has started!”

“That girl never grows up,” their mother said fondly, watching Sienna get up to fetch their father from the master bedroom.

Vera smiled softly.  “That’s why she’s our Sienna,” she said.  Her mother said nothing. Within the minute, Sienna came in, dragging their father.

“Daddy, Daddy, Santa’s here!” she cheered.  “Now I can sing Christmas music and drive you all crazy!”

“Oh, goodness, not again,” their father groaned playfully.  He glanced at Vera.  “You’re not going to start singing, are you?”

“You know she won’t,” their mother said.  “Vera’s too quiet.”

“Your mother’s right, you know,” their father said.  “You really are too quiet.”

Vera did not answer.  I’m never right to you, she thought.  I’m always too something.

“Aw, today’s a day for gratefulness, not criticism,” Sienna complained.  “What time are we going over to Grandma and Gramps’ place?”

“They said they’ll be expecting us around three,” said their mother.

“So…like, five?” Sienna asked.

“Exactly,” said their father.  “Take the day to relax a little.”

“Laying on my bed watching music videos sounds good,” Sienna said with a grin.

“I think I’ll get a head start on studying for my finals,” Vera said as she closed her journal.

“Oh, you better not, you silly!  It’s the start of the holidays.  The ho-li-days,” Sienna said with emphasis.  “I’m going to make you be a normal girl for the next couple of hours.  We’ll hole up in my room, read about celebrity drama, ogle at pictures of hot guys, and jam out to music, got it?”

Vera knew that there was no protesting once Sienna had set her mind to something, and so she acquiesced.  Sienna dragged Vera into her still-childishly pink bedroom and opened her computer.  Vera pretended to be interested as Sienna oh-ed and ah-ed over the scandals in the American celebrity world, throwing unfamiliar names all over the place.  Then Sienna opened YouTube and watched the latest music videos which accompanied songs which to Vera all sounded very similar.

When she had become bored of watching celebrities dance and sing on the computer screen, Sienna suddenly turned to Vera.  “Hey, you need to show me the pictures from that concert,” she said.

“Didn’t I text them to you?” Vera asked.

“Probably, but I want to see them again,” Sienna said, eagerly reaching for her sister’s phone.  “What’s your password?”

“7386,” Vera said.

“Stand for anything?” Sienna asked as she typed in the code and tapped into the photos.

“R-E-V-N,” Vera said.

“You love that cat,” Sienna remarked.

“Of course,” Vera said.  “He’s my guard when I’m sleeping.”

“That cat sleeps ten times more than you do,” Sienna said with a laugh.  “He’s fat and lazy!”

“He’s not fat,” Vera said, smiling.

“Fine, but he’s way lazy,” Sienna said.  “Man, you had a really nice seat.  Do you know how jealous I am?”

“Why are you jealous?” Vera asked.

“Well…I might be a bit of a fangirl of theirs now,” Sienna admitted as she flipped through Vera’s pictures.  “See, I decided to look into them a bit more while we traveled, and they’re pretty good.  Aw, you didn’t take any video?”

“I wasn’t sure if there were copyright issues,” Vera said.

“Girl, why was that the first thing you thought of?” Sienna complained.  “See, the way to go is do it, and then stop when you’re told to stop.”

“Sorry,” Vera apologized.

“It’s fine,” Sienna said.  “I guess I just get to torture you more by forcing you to listen to their music!”

Sienna got back onto YouTube and searched “big bang mv” and clicked on the first result.  Before, Vera had been able to tune out the American music, as catchy as it was, but this video caught her attention almost immediately, and it was because she recognized the face of the first young man to appear despite his long, orange hair, bizarre suit, and make up.  It was Jiyong from her dream.

Vera knew that she had made the connection between her Halloween visitors and the concert performers on the night of the concert itself, but she had long since forced the thought aside as the whim of a sleepy and paranoid brain which had little enough exposure to male Asian faces to think that they all looked alike.  She had even written off her dream friends’ somewhat obvious resemblance to the BIG BANG boys as her subconscious attraction to their faces even before Sienna had given her thoughts on the matter.  But now as she watched the music video for “Fantastic Baby,” Vera could see clearly that all five boys, despite their dyed hair and extravagant costumes, were her five friends from her dream.  Unnerved, she asked Sienna for their names.

“Ah-ha!  My little sis admits her crush!” Sienna crowed.

“What?!” Vera asked.

Sienna ignored her.  “The guys are G-Dragon, T.O.P, Taeyang, Daesung, and Seungri.”

“I hope the first two are pseudonyms,” Vera said quietly, disturbed by the last two.  The names Daesung and Seungri evoked strange feelings in her head.

Sienna, caught up in a fangirl moment, failed to be as observant as she usually was and did not notice her sister’s growing discomfort.  “Of course they’re stage names,” she said, taking on the voice of a teacher.  “G-Dragon’s real name is Kwon Jiyong, T.O.P’s real name is Choi Seunghyun, Taeyang’s real name is Dong Youngbae, Seungri’s real name is Lee Seunghyun, and Daesung goes by his real name, Kang Daesung.”

“I see,” Vera said.  Suddenly, she knew the family names of her five dream friends – they were just as Sienna had recited.

Sienna continued playing BIG BANG’s music, fangirling over it and the boys themselves.  Vera found that she could not zone out, and watched intently as her dream friends sang of love and heartbreak.  In the moment, it did not occur to her that she should not know what the songs were about since she did not speak a word of Korean.

~*\_/*~

“Do you think Jeonghye’s celebrating the turkey holiday today?” Daesung asked as he and his friends shared dinner after returning from marking the stage at the Osaka Dome again.

“I can’t imagine why she isn’t,” Seunghyun said.

“I hope those charms we set up are helping her remember,” Seungri said.

“If we remembered how to make them correctly, they should be,” Youngbae reasoned.

“They better be,” Jiyong said.  “We spent a good portion of our time not going to Disneyland while we searched for obscure and possibly nonexistent items that we learned about in another life and another world.”

“Well, I did happen to remember last night that moonstones have dreaming properties,” Seungri remarked.  “We could send her some of those in the mail and see if it helps her remember faster.”

“She’s very cautious in this life, remember?” Daesung pointed out.  “The last time we were too eager to help her, she pushed us away and didn’t even recall our faces in the end.”

That made the atmosphere grow heavy.  “So we send her a pretty moonstone for White Day and label it ‘From a Secret Admirer,’” Seungri said.

“The U.S. doesn’t celebrate White Day,” Youngbae said.

“Rats,” grumbled Jiyong.  “I was going to go along with that one.”

“We could pretend it’s from an international student,” Seunghyun suggested.

“Guys, Christmas is closer than White Day,” Daesung reminded them.

“True,” Jiyong said.  “If we send a moonstone now from here in Japan, maybe it’ll reach her on-time for Christmas.”

“Wait, what if the charm things don’t work in this world?  What if the only stuff we can do is, well, the stuff we’re sort of born with now?” Seungri asked.

“I think it’s worth a try,” Youngbae said.  “I mean, nothing’s completely backfired on us yet, right?”

“And it’s okay to push our luck a little because of Mr. Lucky,” Seunghyun said, nudging Seungri gently.

“So, when are we going jewel shopping, then?” Daesung asked.

I apologize for the OC/you-centricness of this chapter.  Also, in case you did not notice, I updated the description blurb.  I think it is a little more interest-piquing now.

Please leave any comments, constructive criticism, pointing out of typos and grammatical errors, etc.  I would love to have other readers and writers advice in order to improve my writing – I’ll take everything with elegance, except for thoughtless flames.