When he wakes up, he realizes she is still there, beside him. There, on top of him. There, inside of him. There, everywhere around him.

She is everywhere and she is consuming his soul from the inside out and it's not possible, he knows it's not, but somehow, she's doing it to him. 

All around him, he is covered by her scent. The comforter he uses is her's, and he is reminded with the scent of her hair that wafts through his nose, clouding his thoughts and head, emptying it for all it's worth and filling it with only thoughts of her.

He finds her summer dress in his closet, and his heart is yearning for her now. There's more of her clothes in there, and he tells himself that he'll fish them out later when he has time. Although somehow he knows he won't really do that, not now at the very least maybe. 

Her countless hair pins are on the coffee table beside his keys. He looks at it for a precise five seconds before swiftly grabbing the keys to his car and driving off to the studio for work.

But even music cannot heal this broken man's heart. 

All the while listening to beats and tunes and rhythyms, all he can think of is how she's doing, what she's eating, where she's going, who she's kissing... she's had a few flings from the men there as he had heard. And it breaks his heart just a little bit more.

He thought having a sea apart between them was the most frightening thing that could happen. She'd be at the other side of the world, learning to speak English, learning to sing in English, going to college abroad while he stays in Korea and continue his legacy as a producer. She'd be busy, he'd be busy and he was afraid of what was to happen and to come.

But he was wrong, that wasn't the msot frightening thing that could happen between them.

The unimaginable, and the unexpected was.

Breaking up. 

> ; <

She is hurt, and she knows he is too.

But it was for the best, for both of them. She was getting tired, and he was fighting ruthlessly for something that didn't even exist between them anymore. No more sparks, no more butterflies - she couldn't feel any of that anymore. 

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore." those were the words she said to him, and those were the same words she says to the men she spends a night with; if lucky and good, it'd be two. But nobody can ever really make her feel whole like how he did, but she knows someday, she'll meet someone.

Deep down, she hopes he'll meet someone as well. 

> ; <

Her name is Chaerin. 

> ; <

His name is Himchan.

> ; <

She sings really well, but she's just not Jieun.

> ; <

His voice is really deep, but he's no Yongguk.

> ; <

Today, he uses the subway instead of his car. It's been a while since he's trasnported through a train. It's familiar and settling, but also somehow uncomfortable to him since he's all alone in the bodies of humans that are next to him, in front of him, all around him and surrounding him.

He misses her, badly.

He clutches onto the handle bar above his head, he can feel his knuckles turn white.

It's been a year since her departure, and he's only kissed one girl since then. But even Chaerin's lips could not save him from the black hole he is and trapped in.

A black hole Jieun created.

> ; <

School is exhausting, but taking the subway to the upper east side is even ore exhausting. It's also frustrating and tiring and agonizing. As she clutches on to her textbooks, she cannot help but feel a wave of nostalgia wash over her like a tide. 

Her.

Him.

The earphones they shared.

The songs they sang.

The train they rode.

The midnight that unfolded, and the love story that followed.

She misses him.

And it's been a year and a half already.

Why did she even let him go?

> ; <

Counted all my mistakes, and there's only one
standing out from the list of the things I've done
All the rest of my crimes don't come close,
to the look on your face when I let you go

He sighs. Listening to songs like this really did not help his mood at all. He skips this song and the next one starts immediately, and at least this one is not about sappy love. 

He cannot stand the idea of love songs anymore. He has no muse, why bother.

His songs have reached a more darker, more mature depth. Parties, women, , alcohol - everything and anything that doesn't deal with such bull like love. 

His car is busted, and it will be for a few days. So he's taking a train, which is why he has his earphones on and not his stereo. He looks out the window, but it's all a big blur of darkness. 

Jieun, he thinks, I hope you're hurt like I am.

> ; <

She's back in South Korea, but not in Seoul. Not where he is. And maybe that's fine, that's alright. Maybe it's for the best.

Her number is still the same, her friend used it for her. 

"You sure you want to..." Hyosung is hesitant, but she grabs the sim from her with a smile that she hopes is reassuring and not at all pained. 

"I'm sure. It's just a simple greeting, something to keep him in check." she explains, and still she is not sure if she is lying or not about this.

She types four words. Only four words. 

> ; <

It's midnight again, Yongguk.

She's in the country, but not in Seoul, in Incheon.

He thought those were rumors, but reading the text he received from her three days ago confirms that they are indeed true. She is indeed in the country. She is indeed thinking of him, still. 

He wants to let her wait more for a reply, but by then, will she still be here in Korea?

Maybe.

He doesn't know.

He stares at his phone, black-screened and still.

He turns his back and sighs. 

"No,"

> ; <

Yesterday, she arrived back in her apartment with no messages to haunt her trip. 

He hadn't replied, not that she expected him to, but still. 

It's very disappointing.

"I guess that's the final, blow then." she whispers. But she still slept with her phone beside her ear, on vibrate mode.

> ; <

it's june again, jieun.

four months since her last text of four words. 

Now he sends her an e-mail. Of only four words.

He likes to be fair.

He likes to let her think, she's still in his mind as well.

> ; <

The virtual four-letter words of his very, very short e-mail (but a e-mail from him nonetheless) is shown on the screen of her phone, and she clutches it close to her chest, as if she's enveloping him in a hug she knows she'll give to him one day, in person.

Just not today.

She's in a classic yellow taxi cab, and not on a New York subway train. 

But it's okay, because it's midnight and it's june. 

They met on the train, one night in june.
They liked the same songs and they sang the same tunes. 

Those were his lyrics for a song he helped made and released over a year ago.

She still memorizes every word of it, every word of their song. 

Someday, they'll sing it together. 

When that day comes, she's already move on.

And hopefully, so is he.

> ; <

He moved on. 

And that's what matters.

Their story didn't start with a "once upon a time", and he realized it shouldn't of end with a "happily ever after" either. 

He likes it, he likes fair.

He likes how she's not everywhere anymore. 

so, first one up and it's about bangsong. (lovelovelove) it's not a very detailed or conversational oneshot but I haven't done anything like this in a long time so I wanted to write again. anyways, comment down below maybe? thanks x