I've watched enough spy and espionage movies to know that the best way into a fortress is through an insider. So the best way to complete my mission is to get in touch with someone in Tiffany's inner circle. Someone she trusts never to betray her. Not that any betraying is required. Someone she will listen to. Someone like her best friend.

That would be Sunny.

Enter Sunny Lee Soonkyu. Our school's resident DJ. Best friends with Tiffany, the cheerleader. She is what most would politely refer to as petite. But since I'm classified in the same height class as her, I'll just come straight out and call her short. Yes, we're the shorties. Sunny is officially the shortest girl in our year. Being a couple of centimeters taller than Sunny, I lose the privilege of holding that title. (She got a nice blue and silver badge for it last year. It's really cool and she pinned it on her knapsack that she carries every day. I really wanted that badge.)

Most ironically, my best buddies in school are some of the tallest around. There's Sooyoung, officially the tallest and youngest in our year because her mother enrolled her one year early by mistake. Nobody noticed it either, since she was no shorter than the kids in our year. In fact, she was taller than kids like me (my mother had to produce certification to prove that I was born in my year) so everyone assumed she was our age.

In addition to all that, Sooyoung was born in February so she is only two months younger than Yuri who was born in December, a fact that Sooyoung often uses to defend her seniority among those born in her year, like Yoona.

Which brings me to Yoona. The belle of our school. Immensely popular with our school population. I cannot even begin to describe how crazy the boys went when she first appeared in school. But that's just the tip of the iceberg because even the girls are crazy for her. Blessed with picture perfect features, she's tall and possesses the brightest smile that makes the world seem like a better place.

As further proof of her insane popularity, I can tell you that all the school plays featuring her as a female lead will be guaranteed full attendance. Tickets to her plays are even sold in the black market because people from other schools want a chance to see her as well. How crazy is that?

But she's a hard one to crack. What I mean is, she's difficult to get. She's not playing hard to get. She simply is. Like a diamond. And together with Seohyun, another tall friend of mine, the two of them are classified as the untouchables—impossible to attain.

Seohyun is the youngest of our group. She is in Yoona's year, although she is technically a year younger. Seohyun, ladies and gentlemen, is a genius. She did so well in her first year in our school that her teachers recommended her to skip a year. It's disgusting, how well she does in her studies. The geeks in our school are completely in love with her, thereby giving her the title 'Geek Goddess', which is rather apt, in my opinion.

Then, there is me. The shorty. People tell me that I would look so much better if I didn't go around in old, fuzz-ball-infested hoodies and loose pants that look like hand-me-downs of several generations but I refuse to wear anything else to school. Why should I? They have no idea how comfortable my clothes are. The older the better. Soft and familiar. Just like family.

Anyway, back to the mission. Sunny.

B

“Hello!”

“Hi, Taeng!”

“Ehyyy, Taeng!”

Various people call out to me as I pass through the hallway that leads to the studio where our school's radio broadcasting happens. I say hi to them and continue on my way. My destination? Studio B. B for . Yeah. It's definitely a sign. A flashing neon sign.

“Hey, Taeng. What are you doing here? It's not your slot today.”

“Hey, Ailee. I'm here to look for Sunny.”

“Sunny? She's in Studio B.”

“I know. Thanks.”

“Alright, see ya.”

I nod, smile and walk the last of the hallway before turning right past a door and into a corridor. Studio B is the second room on the left. I reach to open the door but it opens before I can and reveals a petite girl.

“Hi.” She blinks. “Taeng DJ?”

“That's me.”

“Oh. Are you here to do the show? I don't think it's your slot though.”

“It's not. I'm here to see you.”

“To see me? Why?”

“I'll explain over a cup of coffee if you have time.”

“I don't have time for a cup of coffee but I have time for an ice cream. Is it your treat?”

Holy cow. This Sunny person may appear to be a cute girl with her cheery smile and all but she sure is devious. Remember to smile. Remember to smile!

“Sure. My treat,” I say with a smile.

We head to the cafeteria on the first floor and find ourselves a nice spot near the windows.

“I'll get the ice creams,” I say. “Which flavou—”

“Strawberry!”

“Okay. I'll be right back.”

I'm beginning to question the soundness of my plan but it's a little too late to quit it now. It would be worse if Sunny thinks I'm weird and tells Tiffany that. No, I can't have that happening. No, no, no, no. This mission. Mission Gluteus Maximus. It's a do-or-die mission. Do-or-die. -or-no-.

Ice creams in hand, I make my way back to Sunny.

“Here.”

“Thank you!”

Sunny's energy and chirpiness seem to be limitless. Is she like this every day?

“So. The reason why I want to—”

“Ah, yes. Your explanation. I'm ready. Tell me.”

“Yes, well, you see...”

“Yes...?”

What's going on Kim Taeyeon? We've rehearsed this at home. Don't screw up now!

I clear my throat and try again. “I'm here to ask you for help.”

“How can I help you?”

“Well, I have this thing for butts—”

“Like a ?”

“Not really. It's more like physical—”

“Reaction?”

Lady, we're not playing guess-what-I'm-trying-to-say. Let me finish!

“No, no, no, no. You see, I like butts like how some people like puppies. Do you like puppies?”

“I love puppies!”

“And when you see a cute puppy, what's the first thing you want to do?”

Sunny grins. “Pet it, of course!”

“Mhm, mhm.” I nod. This is finally getting somewhere. “Precisely.”

A cloud of enlightenment passes over Sunny and her eyes gleam with understanding. “So you're saying you like to pat butts?”

I shrug. “Well...more like rub. You can't really feel the beauty of a with just a pat, you know? It's gotta be a good rub if you wanna appreciate the curves, the softness...”

“Mmm, I think I get it. That's exactly how I feel when I give Prince a good rub.”

“Prince?”

“Prince is my dog. And Tiffany's. We're his parents,” Sunny explains with a brilliant smile that reminds me a lot of summer.

“Ah.” I nod. “So you understand what I'm trying to say?”

“Mhm. But why are you telling me this?”

It's time. I straighten my back and say, “Well, to me, Tiffany's is like the cutest puppy on Earth.”

“Tiffany's ?”

“Er...yes...”

“We're not talking about my ?”

“Er...no...”

“Why the heck are you talking to me then?”

I swallow hard. My cards are in a precarious state right now and any slip up will be dire. “Because you're her best friend and we're both Djs and you're more approachable to me...”

“So you came to me because you want to rub my best friend's and you want me to help you?”

“That sounds about right.”

“Well, what's in it for me?” Sunny sits back and folds her arms, looking very much like someone who knows they hold the upper hand. She probably knows.

“Er...ice cream?”

“How much ice cream?”

I blink as my brain works hard to come up with something. “Five cups.”

“Fifty.”

“Ten.”

“Forty.”

“Fifteen.”

“Twenty-five. That's half of what I asked at first. Take it or leave it.”

There is no time to think. It's do-or-die-buttless. “Okay. Twenty-five. I'll take it.”

Sunny grins and offers me her hand. I shake it and we seal it with a pinky promise. Then, she winks at me and says, “You know, I would let you rub my for just twenty.”

“Er...that's very kind of you but...”

In one sudden move, Sunny stands up and walks to my side. Next thing I know, I'm staring at her .

“What do you think? I'll give you a bundle price. Forty for my and hers.”

Now, Sunny has a really nice . I can tell immediately if a will feel good to the touch and Sunny's is definitely one of the premium quality ones. But I'm an obsessive-compulsive when it comes to butts. It has to be one at a time and in order. So until I get to rub Tiffany's , I can't think about any other butts.

“That's a really good offer b—”

“No buts. No butts,” Sunny points at her round cheeks, “if you say but. Take it or leave it.”

I am cornered. By her . Literally.

“I'll take it, I guess.”

“Great,” Sunny returns to her seat with a winning smile, “that will be forty then. I'll take a downpayment of ten for starters and you can pay me for another ten when I make some progress. The rest of it will be paid when Tiffany agrees to let you rub her . Fair?”

Fair or not, I have no other option other than to rely on Sunny for now, so I nod.

“And you don't have to rub my if you don't want to. I'm not gonna force you to.”

“But I paid for it.”

“Well, you don't have to rub it just because you paid for it.”

“Right...” This smells so fishy I might as well be at a fish market. “I'll have the final say in that, won't I?”

Sunny nods and her plump lips curl up into a delicious pout. “Sure.”

Hmm. I'm not so sure. But it's do-or-die-buttless. I can only hope she'll eventually join the side.

B