“I’m thinking of moving out.”

Sunny voice abruptly taking Taeyeon’s attention away from the television. It was suppose to be their Netflix chill night together where they pick whatever cliché horror story available. Popcorns and Coke ready to be devour. Taeyeon even prepared her voice for tonight; she might unconsciously screaming her heart out. She turns her body to face Sunny who has her eyes still on the wide screen. 

“What with the sudden decision?”

“I guess it is time to leave.” She didn’t dare to see the looks on Taeyeon’s face right now. Taeyeon on the other hand is already reaching out for the remote as she shut off the TV. 

“Leave?”

Sunny sighs as the inevitable is here. For the past few months, she has been hunting for a property to buy. A place that is near to the company and Cheongdam. She even asked for Yuri and Seohyun suggestion for it. Slowly she turns her body completely around facing Taeyeon. As her gaze landed on her friend’s face, she regretted her decision to even mentioning it. 

“Taengoo, you have your own place now. It’s getting lonely staying here.”

“I didn’t move out completely. The dorm is still my home. Plus we have Hyoyeon and Tiffany...” Taeyeon abruptly stopped. Tiffany. Of course. She had forgotten about her. Tiffany is leaving too. Taeyeon didn’t continue as her body slumps back into the couch. Her eyes landed on the ceiling of their dorm trying to erase the memory of her conversation with the pink obsessive girl. 

“I’m going back home Tae.”

Who is she kidding? She had an idea of what’s going to happen. She felt like she had prepared for the worse but as the present time welcoming her, she didn’t know if she will ever be ready. 

“I’ve been fighting since February. They’re not taking me seriously.” Tiffany voice sounded so distance right now. Taeyeon feels like shutting down her system and treating this part of her life as some dream; a nightmare. 

“We still have time. It’s only July. If we...”

“Taeyeon. It’s not working. They’re not listening. All I ever wanted was to do music. They’re not letting me.”

“There must be away. I can help.” Taeyeon desperately pleading hoping that Tiffany can still be reasoning out. Tiffany flash her a sad smile as she holds her friend wrist and pulling her down to sit next to her on the couch; their Netflix couch. 

“SNSD can’t continue without you. Someone have to stay to keep the name. You’re the only one can. Don’t get involve with my problem.”

“Sooyoung and JuHyun said the same thing. You guys need to let me help. You can’t expect me to do nothing!” Taeyeon burst out in anger. As they age, her members started deciding things by themselves saying that they don’t want to be a burden for her. She’s the leader for sake. Tiffany can relate to Taeyeon’s anger but she has to stay calm. You can’t fight fire with fire. Taeyeon still can’t understand her reasons. She places her hand on top of Taeyeon. 

“This is not just about the group Tae. It’s about everyone future. I don’t want to be the reason for your downfall. After all, this is a harsh business. I’m not letting you take the blame again.”

The unwavering tone of Tiffany was enough for Taeyeon to realize that this is not her fight. She’s willing to go down with her. They are family and nobody should be left behind. Tears started pooling in Tiffany’s eyes but her lips still tugging into a smile. 

“I’ll be fine. We all will be fine. L.A or Seoul, it doesn’t matter. You can still call me when you need someone to talk to, okay? Soon you won’t even realize the difference in time.”

“Are you sure with this Fany? I want you to be completely sure. No regrets.”

Tiffany nods her head even deep in heart, she’s not willing to part ways yet. But something has to be done for her to chase after her dream; dreams that being apart of SNSD is impossible to achieve. 

“When are you leaving?”

“August. I’ll announce the date next week. Hopefully fans can understand.”

“Even if they don’t, our members will. Always.” Taeyeon pulls Tiffany towards her as she wraps her arms around the body; hugging her. Tiffany buries her face on her friend’s nape as tears that she’s been holding back pouring out. She didn’t want to look weak in front of Taeyeon but she can’t. This whole year has been stressing for her. For once, she just want to do what is best for her. Taeyeon gently rubbing Tiffany’s back.

“Do whatever makes you happy Fany. Sooner or later, everyone will understand why it happens.”

The memory of her conversation with Tiffany is so painful that even now Taeyeon can still feel it. She wanted Tiffany to have the best but the best is not here. The best is away from them. Sunny notice the solemn mood. She nudges Taeyeon gently on the rib. 

“I’m sorry Taengoo. I wish I could help out anything.”

“It’s not anyone fault. It’s fate. Fate play a bigger part in our life.” It was true. Fate brought them all together and fate also separating them from each other. Her mom said that it part of life. What happen in the future doesn’t change the memories from the past. 

“Did you find a place already?” 

Sunny nods her head as she hugs her leg closer to her body. How the hell a night of chill Netflix suddenly became serious? 

“It’s away from Cheongdam. It’s quite a distance but I’ll manage. I just feel like separating work from life this one time. See if it works out.” 

“Can I stop by whenever?”

The grins on Taeyeon face is so contagious that Sunny’s grinning too. 

“Anytime. But ring first okay? You know how much foods our member consume in one time. I need to prepare.” 

Taeyeon burst out laughing at Sunny’s remark. Of course.

“Sure.”

.....

“I find it very weird to see you alone. It’s chilly out here.” 

Taeyeon looks up and saw Yuri with her hoodie and sweatpants. The tan girl casual look tonight really suit her. Yuri didn’t wait for Taeyeon to invite as she sit down next to Taeyon on the bench. 

“Homebody Kim Taeyeon is actually out for an hour. Isn’t that a record or something?” Yuri jokes bring smile on Taeyeon’s face. The latter let her back rest comfortably as her eyes enjoying the night view. Han river looks stunning at night. 

“I thought you’ve gone to Sica’s?”

Yuri shrugs it off as she slips her hands into the pocket of her hoodie. 

“She’s not home?”

“She’s in Taiwan. Don’t ask why. I rather not know her business there and pretends that everything is okay.”

“That sounded hurting Yul.”

“Maybe. What are you doing here?” 

Taeyeon let out a heavy sighing. Tiffany is leaving tomorrow and she herself might not be a frequent in the dorm any longer. 

“It feels like we’re breaking apart. It’s not forever anymore.”

“You know Fany, Soo and Juhyun doesn’t have much of choices right? They have dreams Taengoo. The company is not treating them the way they should be treated. I would have made the same decision if it was me.”

Taeyeon eyes darted towards Yuri as the tan girl take a sip from her drinking can. Taeyeon recognize the label. 

“I know. We can’t be selfish right? Yul?”

“Yeah?”

“Hyoyeon had been complaining to me about your drinking habit. Cut down the beer and wine. We’re not getting younger anymore.”

Yuri smile as she drinks from her can. 

“You know they say the more you drink, you become a better drinker. I guess I had way too many to be the way I am now.”

Taeyeon knows how futile it is to talk to Yuri about her drinking habit. She has been through a lot these past few years that the Yuri now is even a better drinker than Sunny. Her mother sickness, school, Jessica departure, fans wish, her contracts and now three members departure are the reason for her habit; she drinks her problem away until her heart becomes numb to the pain and her alcohol tolerance becomes unbelievable.

“Did Sooyoung told you her plans?”

“She did. She wants Hollywood and our damn company don’t want to give in so she’s signing with a foreign company.”

Taeyeon hums as she started swinging her legs front and back. 

“Did you talk to Juhyun?”

“Yeah.”

It is rare for the maknae to come to her house in the middle of a night and refuse to go to sleep. The Seohyun that she knows will never say no to early sleep. Taeyeon offers her a glass of water as she finds the younger girl to be slightly nervous . 

“Unni, I have to tell you something.”

Taeyeon waited for her to continue. 

“I haven’t tell anyone yet. But I’m thinking about setting up my own agency. I mean if I sign with other agency I feel like I’ll be facing the same issue again. I’ll save the hassle of negotiating.”

That had Taeyeon eyes widen in surprise. When she told everyone that Seohyun represent SNSD future, she didn’t expecting this. A one man agency by Seo Ju hyun? 

“That is...awesome. Have you finalize everything?”

Seohyun nods her head as she flash her leader her signature smile. Taeyeon grins as she pats the younger girl back.

“You’ll let unni in if SM kicks me out right?”

“Unni, I’ll accept you in a blink of an eye. Kim Taeyeon in SH Entertainment. I nail a heavyweight of entertainment industry.”

“SH Entertainment?”

Seohyun blush as an answer. Taeyeon mouth forms an O before playfully rubbing her chin.

“CEO-nim.” Taeyeon tease Seohyun. The latter face turns ever redder as she slaps Taeyeon on her arms. The two broke into fit of laughter soon after. 

“I see. I know she is made for that kind of things. I’ll stop by her home soon.”

“You should.” They both remain silence. Taeyeon glance towards Yuri after a few minutes and find the tan girl already finishing her can. 

“Hey, Yul.”

“Yeah? Why did you re-sign?”

Yuri bite her bottom lips trying to organize her words so that it won’t jumble up while she’s explaining. 

“I guess I’m the type that follow the flows? I still can’t find that one big dream that can urge me to go against all odds. I’m not Sooyoung or Tiffany.”

Yuri stretch her legs as she pulls down her hoodie. 

“If I have a bigger dream than my story would have been different. But then, I rather not. Too much of a hassle.”

There’s a truth in Yuri’s words that Taeyeon recognize as Yuri way of facing her life. She sticks to whatever comes her way. Sooyoung and Tiffany wish for a bigger dream. Yuri wish for things to be the way it should be instead. Total opposite. 

“And because of this laid back attitude of mine, I keep on getting hurt. I know I will get hurt but I still keep on doing. Pathetic. I know.”

Taeyeon shake her head disagree with Yuri. 

“You got hurt because you care about others. Just like you care for Jessica.”

Yuri has a small smile on her face. Her phone beep once. Taeyeon raised both eyebrows as Yuri read the message. 

I’m on my way back. See you?

Taeyeon playfully ruffling the tan girl’s hair earning a whining from the latter. 

“Go. I’m going home too.”

“Which home?”

“One that is full of our memories together.”

.....

If anyone come in now, they would have seen the mess on the table with a non it a mood Sooyoung keep stuffing herself with some Pringles. She’s not a Pringles fan but who cares anyway. Her eyes are fixed on the TV watching a drama that she couldn’t get to watch as they made a comeback. The door to her right creaking open drifting her attention towards it and comes out an almost dead looking Taeyeon with her bed hair. 

“Morning Taengoo!”

Taeyeon eyes landed on their wall clock and scoffs. 

“Morning my . It’s already in the afternoon.” Taeyeon deadpan answer didn’t manage to wipe away that stupid grin on Sooyoung’s face as she stuffs more food in . Taeyeon groans as Sooyoung offers her Pringles with crumbs coming out .

“You’re so disgusting Soo.”

“But chu lobe me!”

Taeyeon forces Sooyoung’s face away from her. Sooyoung gulps down whatever food she has in one go before tossing the empty container to her side and burp loudly. Taeyeon grimace at her friend weird and disgusting behaviour.

“You do realize that you’re eating Yoona’s food right? You’re going to regret it.”

“She won’t know if you don’t tell.” Sooyoung retaliates as she rubs her tummy. Yoona always keep the refrigerator full so that when she stop by, she won’t have a hassle buying something on her way here. 

“Soo, we’ve establish that nobody eat Yoona’s food other than you. You’re dead.”

“Eihhh, you’re my leader. You should protect me from any harm.”

Taeyeon ignored the puppy look as she shoves Sooyoung’s face once more. Sooyoung giggles. She always find Taeyeon funny to be mess with. They both fall into silence as the drama on TV starts again. Taeyeon never like watching drama but whenever the members are here, she will find free time to spend with them. Sooyoung take a peek at her leader before clearing . Taeyeon left brow raise but she didn’t say anything as she’s waiting for Sooyoung to start. Choi Sooyoung that she has been friends with for 13 years has a knack of hiding her problems until she couldn’t take it anymore. 

“I’m quitting SM.” To be honest, Taeyeon somehow already knew why she’s here. Hyoyeon had left some hints a few months back. But instead of confronting Sooyoung about it, she rather wait and let the younger woman sorts out her troubles. When the time comes, she will know. 

“Are you sure?”

“I’m scared. But I can’t stay knowing that I have the chance to leave and do something about my future.” Sooyoung eyes brighten as she thought about her future. It maybe a risk but one she’s willing to take.

“I’m not surprise to be honest. I’ll be more surprise if you didn’t.”

“You’re not mad at me?” The drama becomes less interesting for her. She turns to her side facing Sooyoung.

“If you’re happy then I should be supporting you. Baby steps Soo, all the way.” Taeyeon smile as she continues. 

“SNSD has been our youth. The only place that we’re familiar with. Maybe breathing new air will do good for you.”

“You think so? What if I can’t make it out there?”

“If you’re broke, you can crush in my spare room as long as you want.”

Sooyoung burst out laughing. Taeyeon can be funny if she wants to. Her laughter is so contagious that Taeyeon follows suit. The two are laughing their heart out at Taeyeon cheesy answer. But deep down, Sooyoung knows that Taeyeon meant each words and she can always count on her. Their laughter finally died down as Sooyoung back touch the floor and her arms sprawl each side. Taeyeon just watch her from the couch.

“You’re the best unni.”

“Yah, suddenly you're calling me unni huh?”

Sooyoung crane her neck to the side as their gaze are in each other. She grins.

“Thank you.”

“For being awesome?” Taeyeon smirks. 

“For being here. For always being there with us.”

The way it was said made Taeyeon heart ease a little. She was worried over her friends but the way Sooyoung smile right now assured her that she has nothing to worry about. Tiffany even said that everything will be alright and they will be fine. No matter what happen, those eyes are telling her that they will go through this together. Girls generation wasn’t just a business. It is her family and forever she will protect. As long as she walks on earth, she will hold onto the name and be proud of what they had started. She will cherish all the memories in the last and along the way creating more as they go on.

“Together, remember?”

End.

Author note: If there is an award for best leader, my vote will always be for Kim Taeyeon.