"Jongin ah, breathe—"

"So long as Baekhyun hyung isn't awake, I don't know what the hell is breathing and how it's being done."

"Fine, then just tell me what happened."

"He—well, he flipped out in the café so he left and I got pissed, which led me to following him and then I kind of just... spilled everything about our past. In a nutshell, he remembered me but he overworked himself and passed out. Once again."

"You... told him everything?"

"I didn't want him to learn about things this way but... Yes, I did."

"I can't believe you did that," Jongdae lets out a high pitched laugh, sharply stinging Jongin's ear for a moment. "I was expecting a toooootally different outcome but I'm glad your non existent impulsiveness got the best of you. Baekhyun will be fine so don't worry about it."

"He's not even awake but I already feel how awkward it is just by being in his house."

"Trust me, things will end up fine. If you're lucky enough, by the end of the day, you probably would have kissed. I don't know, just saying. I know Baekhyun."

Jongin's face flushes from embarrassment. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, I don't?" Jongdae laughs again. "Attend to him. And please talk your hearts out tonight because you've gotta film tomorrow and it would be awkward if things aren't clarified today."

"Thanks hyung," Jongin actually smiles into the receiver even though he's aware the other person won't be able to see it. "You're actually the best, man. I love you."

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT be as greasy as Byun Baek," Jongdae warns, but his reciprocation behind the words doesn't go unnoticed.

It's a silent greeting and Jongin ends the call conveniently, shoving his phone back into his pocket. His body jerks in surprise from seeing Baekhyun some distance away, leaning against the wall with droopy eyes and pale lips; looking so frail—God, all Jongin wishes to do is hold him and hope his own energy could be transferred into the older man.

But he stays right where he is because he doesn't think that's a good idea when Baekhyun probably has a million questions in his head, waiting to be answered.

"How do you feel?" Jongin asks as he strides forward, supporting Baekhyun to the sofa. He praises himself internally for being smart enough to prepare a glass of water beforehand, and a painkiller pill for precaution.

"Like I died," Baekhyun answers, taking the nearest seat. "But it's all bearable." He reaches for the glass of water, and downs most of it while beckoning Jongin to do the same, next to him. The dancer complies.

It's silent for a while. Jongin isn't sure what to make of it but he doesn't overthink and instead, keeps to observing Baekhyun like a piece of art that needs special care for, it might seemingly break if accidentally touched. 

He's surprised the silence isn't awkward, until he hears his own voice ringing, that he realizes he's absentmindedly saying: "I know you've got a lot of questions, but please don't think too much because I don't want you blacking out again."

Baekhyun turns to him, eyes curved almost like crescents with a tiny smile playing on his lips. "Okay, then let's start with... Why didn't you tell me all of these earlier?"

"I had other ways of doing so," Jongin admits. "I wasn't intending on confessing the entire thing during an outburst but things just spiraled out of hand, I guess. Wasn't under my control at all."

"You— you confessed though," Baekhyun looks away, and Jongin purses his lips into a tight, thin line. He shyly acknowledges the tint of pink lingering on Baekhyun's face. "How long... have you, you know, felt this way about me?"

"After we met, nine years ago. I fell in love with you but I didn't have enough time and courage to confess before I found out you were returning to Bucheon," Jongin forces himself to staycool, but he's never had to openly talk about matters like that, it's rather embarrassing.

If Baekhyun notices how nervous he is, he doesn't point it out. "Then, I'm assuming you've been updating yourself about me through Jongdae?"

"Basically," Jongin says.

"How..." Baekhyun drops his gaze. "How was our friendship like?"

"It was exactly the way we behaved on the day we met Chanyeol and K— Kyungsoo," Jongin stutters. After years since the incident and he still can't say his name properly because that's just how guilty he feels.

"You okay there?" Baekhyun asks, head dipping down to look closer at Jongin. "Are you against their relationship?" He almost laughs but he hides it behind his palm.

"I'm not, not really," Jongin hesitates. "Kyungsoo and I were..." What were they? "We were close friends, but he fell in love with me along the way and I couldn't return it because I was in love with you."

"," Baekhyun drawls. "Does he know about me, then?"

"Well, yeah, but he doesn't know you're the reason I couldn't love him so don't feel bad about it. Though, speaking of which, can I ask you a question?" Jongin eyeballs Baekhyun through his long, dark lashes; fingers dancing over one another on his lap.

He sees Baekhyun nodding.

"Are you... by any chance, still in love with Chanyeol?"

Kim Jongin (+) anxious (=) doesn't usually end well and what he's dreaded to know for a long time now, he's blurted and questioned and he regrets it.

"Not really, Chanyeol's like a friend—well, he is a friend now. Chanyeol and I broke it off on good terms," Baekhyun explains, unperturbed and Jongin feels himself straightening from the relief spreading throughout his body. "Sometimes it's even weird to realize we were once a thing, it just couldn't work out."

Oh. "I have another question."

Baekhyun raises a brow.

"Have you really forgotten everything that we had?" Jongin nibbles on his lower lip, almost terrified of hearing the answer and so, he clamps his palms together and lowers his gaze back down to the coffee table.

If there's another way of putting his meaning out, he wouldn't have chosen this string of words. But unfortunately, there isn't. 

Because this is the only sentence that depicts something that isn't really something, but still is something.

"To start with, I can only remember the fact that I knew—I know, a guy named Kai. Which is you," Baekhyun's eyebrows fly up as he chins Jongin pointedly, as if to make a point. "And, if I've forgotten most things between us, some of it is back and that includes what I feel towards you."

"You-You what," Jongin chokes on his spit, and then ends up coughing because what the hell, Jongdae wasn't lying. 

"I—well, you probably already know though—I like you," Baekhyun says slowly, quietly, almost like he doesn't want to say it like that but he still does and pauses. "Well, I know that right now, I really like you. But I may have loved you in the past, if I'm already feeling so strongly about you at the moment."

"May have loved me," Jongin repeats to himself in a soft murmur, feeling his heart fall just that little bit; only to rise again when the rest of Baekhyun's words begin registering in his head. "You like me? Really?"

"This is all going too fast," Baekhyun cries dramatically, slightly irritated by his own emotions and the overwhelming wave of new information to him, but probably old news to Jongin. "But, yeah. I like you. Maybe a little too much for even my own liking but that, honestly."

"But you don't even know me," Jongin blurts and instantly, he's remorseful when Baekhyun's face twitches for a moment at the truth. "I-I mean—"

"I know it's gotta be equally as hard for you, perhaps," Baekhyun smiles reassuringly at Jongin, and his palm shifts to rest just above Jongin's kneecap. "But frankly, I don't know. Every thing is confusing to me and I'm still figuring it out. This isn't a movie, there aren't added effects or whatsoever. I didn't feel any kind of pull towards you, but I do know that you affected me when I first saw you and that's what I won't deny. You made me feel things, Kim Jongin, even before I found out I'd known you when I lost half the memories made in a year of my life."

Jongin doesn't say a word but he listens as his body reclines on the sofa.

"I may not remember you now," Baekhyun rubs the padding of his thumb over Jongin's skin in small circles. "But I know you. I already know you. And it's all coming back to me, only that it takes time."

Jongin nods because he understands everything. He may not be the one suffering what Baekhyun faces but he's been affected and so he understands—or at least tries to. And when everything falls silent again, he brings his palms up to his face and gives his cheeks a good rub, sighing. I wish you felt as strongly for me as what I'm on the verge of doing to you this very moment. He sighs again but silently.

"Do what?"

Hands falling, Jongin jumps at Baekhyun's abrupt question. "What?"

"You said—"

"God, why did I say that," Jongin scrunches his face up unattractively, tucking his chin and keeping them close to his chest. "Sorry."

"No," Baekhyun's delicate fingers traces Jongin's jaw gently, like feather touches and he feels ticklish, forced to look up. "Show me what you meant, Jongin."

Baekhyun doesn't need to end that statement off because before midway, Jongin's already inching himself closer to the other, leaning in for a kiss. 

He keeps his eyes open and fixated on the other's as he brings his face closer, awaiting a sign; some sort of indication that Baekhyun wants back out but nothing comes and Baekhyun's eyelashes give Jongin's cheeks butterfly kisses when they come down to a shut.

Jongin hears an inhale. And gently, he brushes his lips against soft, warm ones. So warm, he has to draw a cool breath. So soft, God, Jongin wants to indulge in them and he finds himself subconsciously scooting nearer, going from mere brushes to gentle suction in no time.

He feels Baekhyun's fingers propping his head up by the chin and he allows so, while his lips find a brand new addiction quickly and they're moving; slow and firm in synchronization against each other. It's tasteless, absolutely tasteless but what's felt cannot be compared to anything else. Jongin doesn't mind it at all.

On the other hand, he wants to faint. Possibly die, from joy, but he's never ever wanted something so much only to have it fulfilled after his dream's came true. He's always wanted this. For nine years, only Baekhyun and the life to dance, with nothing else.

There isn't time for other things apart from lip action when Jongin pulls away first, gradually and he's sure his lips aren't swollen because the kiss was anything but rough, though he can't be sure about Baekhyun's poor, perfect lips. 

Poor; due to Jongin's abuse on them because he's been dying to feel them against his own and perfect; because they are perfect.

With eyes squeezed tight, Jongin rests his forehead against Baekhyun and catches his breath a little bit, then opens them up to finally unblind himself. It's almost like he's just gotten out of being showered in holy water.

Baekhyun still has his closed and Jongin doesn't move albeit realizing he's unknowingly climbed halfway onto Baekhyun's lap—he's practically cradling the director, but there's still a distance in between and he's grateful for that because he had only wanted a simple kiss... nothing more than that.

No climbing and other like that.

There's an oomph—and Jongin collapses onto Baekhyun full weight, legs outstretched; arms awkward and languid between both bodies. "I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be the other way round," he coughs right after Baekhyun pulls his down.

"I don't care," Baekhyun laughs, wrapping his arms around Jongin's neck and keeping them right there. "I've always wondered how it would be like hugging you like this. Turned out nice enough. At least, enough for me to never let go."

Jongin flushes a deep red and he's for once, glad it isn't the opposite where Baekhyun's able to see his crimson cheeks. Maybe it's a new record of the number of times he's blushed in a day all because of one person. The same person and the only one who's capable of doing so. Clearing his throat, he decides to divert the subject to something more comfortable for him.

"Chen hyung and I were in it together, you know," Jongin dampens his lips. "The whole producer change up."

"What!" Baekhyun exclaims immediately, though still stationary. "Really? I guess I'm not surprised since I already know the possible reasons to that." The fingers dancing on Jongin's scalp distracts him but it isn't verbalized, he simply enjoys the feeling. He tries to take in everything that's happening.

"And also... Chanyeol sent me a text just about an hour ago."

The dancer puts his flexibility to use and curves his body to a bow, neck craning to look at Baekhyun, asking, "For?"

"He's made dinner reservations for the four of us, Saturday evening," Baekhyun states, puffing his cheeks. Jongin tries to focus on the better, the cuter. "When it's over we could go on a date of our own, though."

"Sounds like a plan," Jongin acknowledges. biting on his lip. "Where would you like to go?"

"The places we always used to hang out at," there's a small pause before Baekhyun cards the fingers of a hand in Jongin's hair, and the other trailing down his cheek gently. "Please help me remember the things I don't."

Jongin doesn't know what else to say besides a 'yes', and he forgets about everything else when he takes the chance to kiss Baekhyun again.