Jin’s grip was too strong that my wrist could be crashed by him any moment. I was pulling my arm out from his grip but he wasn’t giving me any attention.

“Jin, let go of my hand!” I demanded. The authority in my voice was too evident but he continued walking gripping my wrist. “KIM SEOKJIN!”

He stopped walking and let go of my hand when I already shouted his name. Instead of seeing him being sorry for his action, his eyes were glaring with furious.

“Are you stupid?” he said.

I was taken aback from he had said to me. It wasn’t the usual words that would come out from him. “Begging for his love?! He doesn’t want you! Open your eyes, Mina! How many times do you want him to tell you that?! How many times are you going to be hurt because of him?!”

I was expecting him to comfort me, to give his shoulders for me to lean on, but he didn’t. He too might be tired from all my stupidity for Rapmon.

“I can endure the pain, Jin,” I couldn’t look straight to his eyes because of my stupidity. He is right, I am stupid for pushing myself to Rapmon but it is because, “I love him.”

“Don’t do this, Mina! He doesn’t want you!” he pushed me hardly against the wall, gripping my arm strongly while his other hand clenched. I looked at him but his head was facing down in frustration, controlling his anger. I heard a solid bam beside my ear, finding out that he punched the wall behind me. I was too shocked from his action as he did it all of a sudden. I didn’t expect him to be like this. He was like possessed by another person who I didn’t know.

“Enough of this, Mina! Stop pushing yourself on him! He is not the only guy in this world!” he said, releasing his grip from my arm and removing his fist on the wall. “Sorry.”  

I went back to the apartment feeling down and exhausted mentally, physically and spiritually. It felt like my soul left my body, as I felt so empty. Empty because of two men who just left me. I had never felt this gloomy and empty even when Rapmon repeatedly pushed me away from him. but Jin who was always by my side, who was always making me feel good, just left me. He was too mad because of my stupidity, because of this stupid love.

Elle was picking up all the trash left from the party. I tried to help her but I was too tired to lift a finger. “Are you okay? Where did you go?” she asked. She told me to just sit down, as she saw how tired I was.

“thank you.” I sat on the couch with my eyes closed because I didn’t Elle to see the puffiness of my eyes.

“Why do you look so down? Something happened? It is your birthday! Cheer up!” Elle said, sitting beside me. She hugged my arm as her way of comforting me. If this would last long, I might probably give in and cry. Being comforted by a friend is really my weakness.

“Jagiya –“ I opened my eyes when I heard Suga oppa saying Jagiya. “Oh! Mina, you are here!”

“Jagiya?” I said repeatedly. Suga oppa showed his gummy smile and was pretty obvious that he liked it. I turned to Elle and I saw the wrinkles on her chin. She was blushing and smiling. Their reactions answered my question already.

“I thought you all went home,” I said.

“Nope!” J-hope suddenly appeared from the kitchen. “however,  the younger ones already went home since Jimin isn’t feeling well. We told Taehyung and Jungkook to take care of him., while Rapmon and Jin hyung are nowhere to be found.”

“Ah. You may go now. Thank you for helping,” I said, trying to smile even it was so hard for met. “And Elle, you may sleep or date with oppa if you like. Just leave the cleaning to me.”

“But Mina, you are not okay,” Elle said.

“I am fine,” I smiled, trying to convince them.

“You’re not. Stop lying, Mina,” J-hope said. He really knows me so well. and because of that, lying would be difficult. “Tell us what happened. Is it Rapmon?”

I closed my eyes again, because I couldn’t bear seeing the worries from them. As I closed my eyes, things were playing around my mind.

Elle hugged me, and tears started to fall from my eyes. I was crying. I was hurt. I felt the pain in my chest as if my heart was crushing into pieces. I could hardly breathe as my chest was filled with pain.

But the only person running in my mind wasn’t Rapmon, but Jin. This was way too painful than being broken because of Rapmon. I preferred being broken than Jin being mad at me.

“Jin is mad at me.” I said with the small energy I had. “I’d rather be hurt because of Rapmon, but not with Jin.”

“Why is he mad?” Suga asked.

I told them everything from how excited I was to talk to Rapmon to how my heart broke because of Jin. I tried my best not to breakdown as I told them.

“Are you stupid?” J-hope said, copying Jin. “But seriously Mina, are you stupid?”

“I know. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want Jin to be mad at me. I want to talk to him but I don’t have a face to see him. Or maybe I am scared that he won’t forgive me.”

“No, what Hobi meant is… are you stupid for not seeing that Jin hyung is perfect for you? He is also Jinu’s father. What kind of thinking do you have?” Suga said frankly to me, followed by J-hope’s nodding of head, as he agreed with Suga oppa.

“Yah! Stop saying that to my friend! Instead of cheering her up, you are making her feel worse,” Elle said, glaring at Suga. “But I really want to ask you that too! What kind of thinking do you have, Mina?”

Suga laughed at Elle, hugging her. “Jagi, you are so cute,” Suga oppa said and tickled Elle.

“Aish these love birds!” J-hope threw a disgusted look at them.

“Happy birthday to me. A really happy birthday,” I sighed. Tears wanted to flow down but my eyes were too tired to cry.

J-hope handed my phone to me, “call him.”

I wanted to take my phone and dial Jin’s number but a part of me was protesting. “I think I should give him some more time.”

“When would be that special time?” J-hope asked.

I shrugged, “I don’t know. But can you please help me? I don’t want to lose him.”

“Lose? Why? He is just mad. If he cools down, everything will be alright.”

“But Mina, let’s be honest. Why are more hurt because of hyung than Rapmon?” Suga asked.

I froze. My mind went blank, couldn’t think of any reason. “Maybe b-because he is a great friend?”

“I don’t think so,” Suga shook his head.

“Because he is Jinu’s father?” Elle suggested, but was disapproved by Suga.

“He is important to me,” I said.

“And then? Why is he important to you?” Suga asked as if he was interrogating me.

“Because you love him!” J-hope answered.

“Bingo!” Suga high-fived with J-hope.

I quickly denied their assumptions, but Suga didn’t accept it. “what you had with Rapmon was a plain fling and you were just flirting. But for Jin hyung, it is deeper and has more meaning. The love you thought for Rapmon is just superficial, but deep inside your heart, you are already falling for hyung.”

“N-no. I-it is j-just t-that –“

“Why are you stuttering?” J-hope asked, grinning.

Ugh! Why? I don’t know!

“You will realize it someday, Mina. Maybe because you are too focused with Rapmon right now, but trust me, Jin hyung is the one in your heart,” Suga said.

“We will help you,” Elle said.

I rolled my eyes as they were being ridiculous. I am pretty sure that Jin is just a friend. A friend who is always supporting and caring for me that is why he is important to me. Do I love him? Yes, but as a frie–

I suddenly felt a flick in my heart.

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