My children called for me, saying someone is looking for me. The words ‘someone is looking for me’ had always made my heart anxious. Because whenever I heard of those words, you are the first person that always comes to my mind. Hopeful that one day, you would be looking for me. That even after all the things that you did to me, I still want you in my life. I still want to be with you.

As I was coming out my room, slowly, and in a blur, I came to see one of you. Taeyeon, Sunny, Tiffany, Hyoyeon, Yuri, Sooyoung, Yoona and Seohyun. You are all here right now, in front of my eyes. I still can’t believe this is happening. The day that I had waited for so long finally came. I started to wonder if this is a dream but you only proved me wrong when you all called me, “Sica-ya~”.

Sica-ya. The sweet endearment I’ve yearned to hear for so long. Those same and sweet voices of you calling me ‘Sica-ya’. How I truly missed it. Those voices that have been like music to my ears.  Those voices that I would never forget in this very life and one of the voices I would treasure one last time if I were to become deaf.

I thought, if I could see you, I would be running to you right away without even thinking about what happened in the past. I thought I would just be so happy to see you again. That after all those years we’ve been apart, we could finally be together again and maybe mend what was once broken.

But all of those have been just a part of my dream when I, myself, couldn’t even believe what I did.  You all called for me so warm and sweet, but all I did was to respond to you coldly, “You, what are you all doing here?”

I didn’t knew I would be like this if I were to see you again. That I wouldn’t be able to know what to do and even feel now that you are in front me. I didn’t even knew I would still be shocked to see you though I’ve always wanted to see you again.

You all caught on I’m not ready for this and I’m in shock at the moment. So, Taeyeon tried to break the thin ice between us and started talking. “Sica-ya, we know you’re not ready to see us and we don’t have the right to be here…but, ten years have passed. We already wasted so much time. We, can we still go back to how we were in the past?”

“I know it is not easy, Sica-ya. We know we cannot just ask you to forgive us right away. We know that we have really hurt you a lot, no, we have given you a great amount of pain. But, can you