Another week passed and Kyungsoo started to feel guilty. He knew it wasn't a reasonable feeling, but he couldn't help but get lost into darker and darker thoughts as days passed and Jongin didn't show up.

He felt responsible of Jongin. The boy had needed him since the very first second, and Kyungsoo had always tried to help him since then.

Their first meet was literally an accident - two years ago, Jongin was on a car with a friend who was driving too fast, Kyungsoo was crossing the street, and, wanting to avoid him, he drove straight at a truck. The driver died outright, Jongin somehow survived, but he died too in a way: his memories was lost.

Amnesia, they said to his family at the hospital, when the young boy came out of his coma three days after and was found unable to remember anything.

The first few weeks were very difficult for Jongin, more morally than physically, but he finally managed to come through all right, with the help of his psychologist who told him to build new memories again.

So he slowly started to see the positive side of his life again, and Kyungsoo wasn't for nothing in this.

Indeed, he had been there even before the beginning, a few seconds before the accident Jongin couldn't remember. He was the one who called the ambulance, the one who stayed even a week after, while his family has to go back to its life.

Why Kyungsoo stayed all this time, meanwhile he wasn't anyone to Jongin but the passerby who involuntarily caused the accident, he didn't know.

Thus, Kyungsoo was in the really first new memories of Jongin.

After the latter leaved the hospital, they started to met at the park of Kyungsoo's residence. Every afternoon, after Kyungsoo's work,Jongin came. They would talk about all and anything until 5pm, when Jongin has to go back to his house for a seance with the psychoanalysist. 

So they became friends. At least, Kyungsoo found in Jongin his first and only real friend and the first person who ever needed him - and for Jongin, Kyungsoo became a vital person. He didn't just needed him - he really couldn't live without Kyungsoo. It was an emotional addiction. 

At that time when Kyungsoo would occasionally smoke he would do it to see all the colors that would rose in the air, because it was beautiful.

But Kyungsoo was the type to destroy his own fairy tale all by himself just because the idea of being happy made him suffer more than when he was still searching for this happiness.

He knew something went too well between them. Both of them knew, but no one ever put words on it.

And Kyungsoo never let them do so.

One day, he declared that this had to come to an end. Jongin's health was way better now, he had elaborated new plans for his future, found new dreams, new friends. He didn't needed Kyungsoo anymore.

Or at least it was what he wanted him to think.

But Jongin never did.

At the end, Kyungsoo was making himself suffer, and he realized that he would probably never be able to quit smoking.

And since then, there were crowns flying around him everytime he would exhale smoke.

And seeing that Jongin didn't took him seriously about the end of their relationship, he sadly found himself forced to get angry and be sure that Jongin would never came back.

It worked during several months. Until Jongin suddenly reappeared a few weeks ago to ask for a cigarette.

So why was he worried since Jongin had disappeared again, while it was what he wanted?

He always had known that Jongin was depressed. He also had the feeling that the boy was like this even before the accident.

There was something in the way he talked, something like a permanent sadness filling his voice even if it were happy subjects.

Kyungsoo forced himself to believe in the fact that Jongin felt better when he decided to stop seeing him.

But the truth was that Jongin wasn't.

Well, neither Kyungsoo. None of them felt good, but Kyungsoo didn't care about himself. But he was afraid of becoming a pain to Jongin, and he thought that the boy would be better off without him.

But all of this was an illusion Kyungsoo built because he felt so guilty to let down Jongin.

And now, he was really afraid that Jongin might have done something, something terrible, and the fact that he didn't know what exactly scared him even more.

So he spent his afternoons trying to join Jongin, but the boy never answered.

Black smoke filled the living room and Kyungsoo voluntarily kept the window closed - he thought that the room had became an extension of himself, because he couldn't see clearly and couldn't breath well.

At the grocery, the other boy working with him laughed when he saw him, saying that he looked like he wanted to kill himself. Kyungsoo looked at him like he wanted to kill him first, because it really wasn't funny to say things like that to someone who was seriously thinking about it.

He had opened a lot of old photo books while searching for the piece of paper where was written Jongin's address. All but one he didn't expected it to be in, because it contained photos taken way before he knew Jongin.

So he finally found it. But the truth was that Kyungsoo was afraid of the unknown. And if he decided to go to Jongin's house, he would have to face it.

Firstly, what if Jongin has moved somewhere else?

Secondly, what if he isn't here when he would come?

And thirdly, what if he is?

But Kyungsoo couldn't stay still, regretting a lot of things and feeling guilty and hating himself and smoking and making no colors but black, black, always black and its crowns, no. Kyungsoo had to do something. At least for Jongin who was suffering because of him since the beginning.

The morning Kyungsoo was preparing his journey to Jongin's house, the phone rang. He looked at it for a long time before eventually answering.

"Hello."

Silence.

"Don't come," then said a cold voice.

Kyungsoo was first surprised because he wasn't expecting this, not even knowing who was calling, but he immediately thought of all the messages he left on Jongin's voice mail. He told the boy he would come to find him this day.

Could it possibly be Jongin calling?

Kyungsoo suddenly felt all his strength abandon him at this thought. He almost let go the handset.

"Jongin...?" whispered he with a shaking voice.

No one answered.

Kyungsoo was hoping and scared at the same time. He hadn't heard his voice in such a long time that he felt like he was about to cry. Everytime he had called the boy, using that number he wasn't even sure if it was the right one, he had listened to that so frustrating beep with a crazy hope, finding excuses to Jongin for not answering and imagining that if he would try again later the boy would finally answer.

But another part of him was imagining something else, something so much more terrible that the simple thought of it drained all his strength and made it everytime a little more difficult not to give up on everything.

"Jongin, Jongin please say something," whispered he.

Silence again.

"Don't come," then repeated the other. Kyungsoo felt all his pressure fade away. Jongin was alive.

He was smiling and trembling, tears silently flowing down his cheek. But he wasn't sure if he felt relieved or even more afraid.

He sat down on the sofa, feeling like he could fall at any time.

He had to say something because he didn't want this call to end, he didn't want to risk to loose Jongin again. He wanted to cry to the boy to not hang up, to speak, to say anything that was coming to his mind, but to not hang up.

But he couldn't speak.

"H-hey, he heard after a long time. Kyungsoo, are you crying...?"

He sobbed. That was Jongin's soft voice, the comforting one, the one he loved - not the cold one he had heard since then.

"Hey, Kyungsoo..." hesitated the boy and he noticed his unusual tired voice. "I'm sorry, I... I didn't wanted to make you cry like this..."

"Jongin, I have to see you," suddenly declared Kyungsoo.

The other didn't answer right away.

"Jongin, I have to see you," repeated Kyungsoo.

"I... I don't know..."

"I was so worried Jongin I'm so sorry I miss you so bad but I'm so guilty I'm sorry," cried he, saying everything that was coming to his mind. "I'm sorry."

He heard Jongin's difficult breath.

"Please," whispered he.

"Well..." eventually answered Jongin.

He didn't understand why the boy seemed so hesitant.

He was quickly thinking. He had to find something to change Jongin's mind.

"Let me one more chance," then said he. "To teach you how to see the colors."

Silence.

Kyungsoo could swear Jongin was smiling, remembering of what had been said the last time they saw.

The boy finally let out a soft laugh.

"Okay, I... I'll be here this afternoon," sighed he, and Kyungsoo was grinning like never. 

———————

A/N: Thank you again for reading this second chapter! So, how is it? Are the chapters too short? Too long? >< Please tell me whatever you think of this story so far in a comment! You can't imagine how much a comment can give me strength to write x) 

Once again, forgive me for the mistakes and lack of vocabulary ㅠㅠ

By the way, as you know, I'm writing from my cellphone –well I don't write directly on Asianfanfics, I first write using Google Docs and then I past the text here– AND THIS IS SO COMPLICATED I mean, personally, I think this is not really (well, not at all) adapted to be used from a cellphone! To read, that's fine, but to write... Does anyone know the same struggle? x) But I'm the one who chose to write from my cellphone so... But don't worry, I'll keep writing! Fighting! 

Please look forward to the next chapter! I'll do my best! Thank you! I love you!