Kyungsoo threw his head back and watched as the smoke rose in the cold air. "Colors, a lot of colors," commented he for himself. The colors then progressively disappeared, absorbed in the darkness of the night. 

"Smoke is white," suddenly said a voice behind him. 

He jumped and quickly turned over in surprise.

"Hey," hesitantly said the boy, before smiling a little. 

Kyungsoo froze. His thoughts left his mind and his heart started to beat really fast.

The boy in front of him wasn't supposed to be here. It had been months since he didn't see him and he wasn't supposed to have to see him ever again. Added to the fact that he didn't expect to see someone at this hour of the night.

But Kyungsoo was good to hide his feelings and the big shock it gave him might have been hidden by his emotionless face.

After having watch the boy a few second, his mind as empty as his look, he turned over again, ignoring him. 

The other didn't move. 

"Why did you came back?" finally asked Kyungsoo when he had calm down, after have inhaled smoke again. 

The other stayed silent. 

"I told you, Jongin," started he, "to never come back to this place. I remember quite well the scene."

"Yeah, I know..."

"So why?" immediately asked Kyungsoo. 

But the other didn't answer. Kyungsoo could feel his gaze on his back, but he managed not to face him again. Meeting his eyes would be too painful, like the way the boy's voice was reasoning in his ears right now, making his way inside his head like some poison, every word a little more painful. 

"Why are you here?" asked again Kyungsoo with a tired voice. 

"I was missing... something," answered Jongin, and Kyungsoo knew he was embarrassed.

He exhaled the smoke out of his mouth and softly laughed. 

"Liar..." simply commented he. 

He managed to make the words coming out of his mouth feel harsh and painful for Jongin to hear.

He wanted him to hate him, to leave, to go far away and to forget him completely. 

He didn't wanted Jongin to suffer because of him anymore. 

But this probably made him selfish too.

"Listen, Kyungsoo..." started the boy, apparently not wanting to give up so quickly. He paused for a bit, obviously struggling to find the right word. "Let me one more chance," finally said he. 

Kyungsoo stopped. He then slowly turned over. 

"One more chance...? One more chance to suffer? So that's what you want?"

He sighed.

"You don't even know what you're talking about anyway."

Jongin's eyes met his, and he could read sadness, pain, anger, supplication. 

Reproach. 

He started to feel dizzy, but then realized that he was completely absorbed in Jongin's eyes and he felt like he couldn't move anymore. 

He knew he should never have faced him. Because Jongin knew him too much, he had too many control over him, even just with a simple gaze. Kyungsoo was afraid now. 

"Please... stop," he whispered, the voice shaking a bit. 

Jongin was first surprised but he seemed to understand his panic as he lowered his head.

Kyungsoo then quickly turned over and felt better as all the pressure that was growing on him lessen. He was almost gasping for air, and he had to inhale and exhale several times before to calm down. 

"Are-Are you okay?" asked Jongin, worried. 

Kyungsoo shivered. He wanted to yell at him that of course not, he was not okay - how could he when Jongin, this so special person, was standing behind him, and that he was trying so hard to not fall in his arms. 

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine, " was what he answered instead. 

He heard Jongin sighed. He wished that the boy was upset of him and left. 

But instead of this, Jongin came next to him. 

"Can I?" 

"What?"

"Smoke."

Kyungsoo looked at him with wide eyes because he didn't knew Jongin smoked. The boy was watching at the black sky without stars, but only a lightning crescent moon in the center, and there was tiredness in his eyes.

He hesitated a lot but finally handed him the cigarette. Jongin took it and Kyungsoo observed his slow and tired gestures. 

When the smoke came out of his mouth, Kyungsoo didn't saw a lot of colors, but they were purple, and blue. Blue, almost everywhere. 

"You made it blue," he softly said, impressed. "It's beautiful."

Jongin turned his head down to him. 

"Really?"

His eyes were so captivating. 

"I can't see the colors you always talk about. But..."

He stopped and watched at the sky again, before to continue, with something authentic in his voice Kyungsoo didn't missed. 

"Maybe you can teach me how to see those colors."

Jongin didn't look at him while saying it, allowing Kyungsoo to contemplate his face. What surprised him was that the boy gave at the same time an impression of desperation and hope, of someone almost dead but, in a way, full of life.

"To teach you...?" incredulously repeated he.

He quickly thought of all the consequences of this act and shook his head.

"That's out of the question."

"Huh, predictable," commented Jongin.

Kyungsoo didn't answer.

"So tell me what do I have to do," pursued Jongin.

"To see the colors?"

"No, to make you accept to teach me."

Kyungsoo rose with irritation his head at Jongin, who was grinning.

"First, stop acting as if you were cool, " coldly answered he, but it only has him to grin even more.

He knew that what Jongin wanted was to break the ice between them, to make him feel easier. But he would not let him do so.

"And stop being stubborn," concluded he before standing up and promptly turning round, leaving a disappointed and powerless Jongin behind.

The color Kyungsoo liked the most was blue. There were so many different shades of blue, and each one was different by the sentiment it contained.

Some kind of blue would express oppression while others would transmit a feeling of freedom.

In his opinion, it was the deepest color. But it was also the most difficult to create.

And the fact that Jongin made it without even thinking really bothered him.

After he left him alone in the little park of the square where Kyungsoo lived, Jongin didn't show any sign of life during more than a week.

Kyungsoo worked for the local grocery store, only in the morning, from Tuesday to Saturday, and he somehow managed to earned just enough to pay the rent and the necessary things to live correctly.

He thought his life wasn't so bad, but somehow he knew it wasn't what he deserved. He was waiting for something, but he didn't know what exactly.

When his house's phone rang on an early Wednesday afternoon, he had a feeling of who was calling.

"Hello?"

"Hi," a soft voice answered.

No one talked during several seconds, but Kyungsoo had recognized Jongin's voice.

"How are you?" asked the latter, and Kyungsoo could feel nervousness.

"Fine," simply said he. "You?"

"Well... I'm in a quite difficult situation."

"Why? Something happened?"

"I can't tell you."

Kyungsoo sighed.

"So why did you called? I'm not your psychologist you know."

Jongin didn't answer right away.

"I know you've got better things to do, but..."

Kyungsoo could hear his breath as he struggled to find the right word.

"Please, I need your help," declared he.

Kyungsoo waited for the next, but there was none.

"Sorry to have bothered you, see you," simply said Jongin before hanging up.

This call left him thoughtful during the next following days.

Even if he always pretended not to care about Jongin, Kyungsoo had imagined a lot of possible situations where the boy could need his help.

And as another week passed and Jongin didn't call back or didn't even come to find him at the park or at the grocery, he started to worry a bit.

He didn't know where to start to look for Jongin. He first tried to call him using the number that he had used two weeks ago but nobody answered - and he had deleted his cell phone number a long time ago.

Moreover, he didn't know a lot about his life, as their relation was principally based on accidental encounters. He only knew that the boy was still a student for the past year, and since they stopped seeing each other as regularly as before, Kyungsoo didn't know if he had started working in the meantime, and if so, where.

But Kyungsoo knew his address might be written somewhere, even if he never had had the need to visit him before. He just had to find it. 

———————

A/N: Hello! Thank you so much for reading this first chapter of my fanfic!

I know, I didn't have written any note first, but I've decided to say something because I couldn't just don't say anything! Hum, first, sorry for the possible mistakes or the lack of vocabulary, you know, I'm french so even if I'm learning hard english I'll probably never reach the talent of writing of other fics writers you already read ㅠㅠ I have a friend who correct my mistakes but though, I'm not able to right properly by myself ㅠㅠ Hm, enough of that. 

I really wanted to thank my subscribers because there're such a great encouragement for me to continue writing! I love you very much! 

I would really appreciate it if you say everything you feel you have to say regarding this story, if there're things to change, what is good or bad, and if you have any questions, please ask me anything! 

Once again, thank you!