It started at a party for my brother and his girlfriend. It was really really bad. There was liquor everywhere and I was honestly the farthest from the mood to be happy. I should have been but with my brother smiling with his arm around his girlfriend’s waist and over Junhong’s shoulder I was practically seething. I had to force myself not to drink or I’d get myself smashed. But it was hard because I would look back and forth from the bar and Junhong and see that fake smile and-and-and I’d just couldn’t.

Then as I was drinking some pop out of the corner of my eye I saw Junhong walk out of the venue. I followed him and leaned against the wall in the chilled air looking at the full moon.

“Hey kid” I said walking from behind the corner “How’s it?”

He looked at me blankly and unamused and went on to look at the moon, this was his way of saying he wasn’t in the mood. He was usually a pretty cheery kid especially when he was with my brother but right now he was really not in the mood.

I stood beside him and stole glances at the purest of white skin that glowed in the moonlight and it almost didn’t register that he was lighting a cigarette.

“Are you really about to smoke in front of me?”

“I’m sure as hell not going to eat it” he put it between his lips and looked over at me “What? Are you going to do something about it?”

I chuckled as he lit it “Nope, but Yongguk doesn’t like people who smoke”

Junhong glared at me and then took the cigarette out of his mouth and looked at it in his hand. I sighed I knew what was going through his mind, it showed all too well in his face. His crotch was something that the man he loved hated but he needed it because the man he loved made him have a need for a crotch.

I ran a hand through my hair and placed a hand on his shoulder and he looked at me “I won’t tell if you don’t” I said

 He looked at me for a long moment and then showed me the same sad smile that dragged me out that horrible party and he brought the cigarette to his lips and took a long drag from the cigarette and blew it towards the moon.

We were silent a moment and then Junhong spoke “You know there’s a saying that talks about you shouldn’t be lonely because somewhere someone is looking at it thinking of the one for them looking at the same moon . . . but he’s inside” he took another drag and then continued “staring at some-some-“ tried grasping for the right word in frustration  

“?”

He was surprised that I had finished for him and he laughed, that was what I came out here for, to see a smile. I couldn’t help but chuckle at his giddiness and I held out a hand.

“Give me a smoke” I said

He took out his pack and handed me one “I thought you quit?”

“I did” I said putting the tip to his and leaning back to the wall “And I can do it again if I feel like it” I said blowing out a cloud of smoke “What about you?”

He didn’t look at me but stared at the sky “What’s the point in quiting?” he said sounding painfully small “Even if I quit I . . .” he didn’t want to say it but he was going to and I almost regretted asking but he took another puff of his cigarette and unbearably empty said “I wouldn’t get anything from it would I?” and the chuckle that followed was so sad that I did something I shouldn’t have

I put my arm around his shoulder and asked him if he wanted to go drink. He did look back at the party but just shrugged his shoulders “Why the hell not?”

I went back to my apartment and he drank. He drank a lot and I just watched and saw him slowly break down. Junhong couldn’t hold alcohol well for his age, but he drank like he could. And he was a sad drunk at that so he didn’t like drinking in front of others and more usually would avoid alcohol because he’d talk about my brother. He drank with me because he knew that I already knew and would take care of him if he got too drunk.

“Yongnam hyung I love him” he whimpered

“I know kid” I said patting his back “I know”

He sniffled and leaned on my shoulder “It doesn’t make sense. Nothing makes any sense.”  He wiped his tears on my shoulder and his brown hair brushed against my shoulder and I felt the chill run up my spine “It shouldn’t be this hard”

I collected myself and ruffled his hair and pulled him in closer “Guk is just slow” I said trying to comfort him rubbing his arm

‘My brother is literally an idiot’

Junhong looked at me and in his state hadn’t realized the proximity of our faces spoke with his breath tickling against my skin “Why? Why is that you could see but he couldn’t? Why can’t he see?”

‘Because he’s a faced moron’

“Guk is just slow”

“But you can see” he said “You can see me, can’t you?” his hand slowly raised to cup my cheek and as I looked at the hand and then finally to his eyes I realized what was happening

“Can’t you see?” he asked brushing his lips against my own Why can’t you see me?”

He thought I was Yongguk.

At first I was shocked then I was mad and after that void. I didn’t know how to react as Junhong began to straddling me as he held my face in a kiss that I wasn’t fighting.  Then I broke it and looked at his flushed face panting tears streaming down his fears searching my face that was my brother’s for answers.

“Junhong I’m not him”

His eyes came to life for a minute and I saw the pain flash through them and he looked away and then buried his head in the crook of my neck and I felt the wetness of his cheek.

“Why can’t he see me?” he asked sobbing 

I pulled him up a bit and looked him in the eyes and I’m sure being as pathetic as I am made the same sad smile I hate for him to make at him and said “I can see” and pressed his lips against my own. And it led to us sleeping together. We were sleeping with someone we wouldn’t have; he with Yongguk and I with a Junhong that’d love just me.

Some may see what I said as a confession but he saw that as me taking on my brother’s role and accepting him. He was drunk so I don’t blame him. But I wish it hadn’t happened . . . if only we hadn’t happened.            

  So Yay I put up another chapter. I'm really happy that I got subscribers so I went ahead and wrote something for you guys. Remeber to comment and tell me what you gys think I love comments, and I try my hardest to reply. So bye I'll update with more subscribers that come in.