CHAPTER VII

Jongin couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to. He refused to but the truth lay at the palm of Taemin’s hand. It was silver, it was round and it promised forever. Jongin has not seen anything uglier than the ring in front of him.

“We’ve been together for nine months Jongin. I didn’t tell you because I knew how you feel about this. But I see my future with her. She is good for me, to hell she is too good for me. How many people would give an ex druggie a chance? And she did, I just can’t let her go.”

He was livid, that was an understatement.

“You’re making a huge ing mistake. You can still change your mind, you’re just confused as hell. Mistaking this aberrant affection as love Taemin. What makes you think a piece of paper would dictate who you spend your days with?

“She’s pregnant. Soojung is pregnant.”

“How are you going to take care of a baby when you’re a baby yourself?” That was it, there was a tiny creature involved and he could not bear to shove his principle down Taemin’s throat. What was he thinking in the first place? Trying to force his thoughts to Taemin who had his own mind, however idealistic and dumb it was.

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Ninety-six hours, that was 5760 minutes of peace of mind. In all honesty, Jongin didn’t intend to leave his house for such a long period of time. But Taemin called at an ungodly hour asking for the last thing he expected from the guy and the rest was history. It’s been four long days since he last stepped foot in his home. He was reluctant, he was gone and he wasn’t sure if Kyungsoo decided to stay anyway. Kyungsoo needed to disappear from his life if he wasn’t planning to stay in the first place. The world was drenched in orange and red, fallen leaves crushed beneath his heels as Jongin walked to his home. He kicked a pebble, imagining it as Kyungsoo. Tiny, irregular Kyungsoo trying to change his course and alter his mold. He became pliable; he could be molded and bent by Kyungsoo’s bare hands. Kyungsoo who was made built with steady smile and vibrant words.

Upon kicking his door close, he heard excited steps coming towards him. He bent down and kissed his furball who in turn his face. “Has the hobbit been feeding you monggu?”

His innocent question didn’t fall to deaf ears to his surprise. Kyungsoo’s voice, annoying yet welcoming floated. “Of course I did what kind of an owner are you? Running off to God knows where just because you couldn’t handle a ing rejection? Be a coward all you want but leaving your dog unattended is so irresponsible even for you.”

He could feel Kyungsoo’s glare from above, penetrating his skull so he could get a reaction from him. Jongin supposes he deserved that at least. He muttered thanks without looking at him too busy ruffling monggu’s fur.

He heard Kyungsoo sigh. “You’re so annoying Jongin you know that right?”

“No, you are.”

Kyungsoo just looked at the unmoving male below him.

“You know you have to leave.” Jongin said, breaking the silence. He needed to push-off Kyungsoo from the faltering part of the spectrum. Kyungsoo should stop jumping from one side of the boarder to another, if Kyungsoo needed a push Jongin was happy to be of aide.

“I don’t.”

Finally, Jongin looked up. “Why can’t you just leave? Take a hint Kyungsoo, I don’t want you here anymore.” He looked into his eyes, a plethora of thoughts pass his mind. How he wanted him to leave but not really. He wanted no time from but all the time in the world at the same time. There were too much contradictions, too much in him, for just one soul.

“It came from you, I’m annoying.”

It was Jongin’s turn to sigh. He got up from the floor, carried Mongu to the living room. He planted himself in the sofa, he threw Kyungsoo an irritated look as he saw that the hobbit followed him.

“So, where have you been nursing your broken heart Jongin?”

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Well you did take off after I rejected you.”

“Can you not say rejection? I’m the one rejecting you from my house. I’m calling it even.”

“But you can’t reject a rejecter if you were rejected first.”

All Jongin could do was sigh, he knew that any argument with Kyungsoo was a hopeless maze. Jongin put up with Kyungsoo a lot, he tolerated him further. Kyungsoo had that capability to get into his nerves yet Jongin just allowed it.

“Taemin decided to get married; we traced the edges of Korea before he tied the knot. I wasn’t moping around like you wished I was.”

“You have friends aside from Sehun.”

“Sehun is not a friend.”

“Because you stole his lover from him?”

“And when did you start getting cozy with that brat?”

“The real question is, why did you go in this road trip before marriage? Didn’t you say you didn’t believe jack about society?”

It was true, Jongin didn’t believe in marriage, he didn’t see the logic of letting a piece of paper dictate your affection towards another. He tried reasoning with Taemin, stated how ridiculous it sounded to him. It wasn’t his place and he couldn’t force his principles to one person. There are people who conform to norms there are those who don’t and that was just it. Taemin was trapped in a bubble and pricking it could make or break him. Taemin was stuck in a fantasy, he was clouded by it but it gave him purpose. Soojung was a good match for him. Soojung didn’t mind that he was a bit broken, she didn’t mind getting pricked. How often do you delude yourself with fantasy to shy away nightmares? How many thoughts do you make up just to rationalize a behavior that is just opposite of what you deem is right?

“He made a stupid decision, only he can tell if it’s a mistake.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t keep words from coming out of his mouth. Blabbing on and on about his disappearance and neglecting his dog. Jongin watched him, took notice of the strands of hair that strayed on his face. Starred at the chapped lips that the other always moisturized. In that brief moment he felt like he was seeing Kyungsoo really, the sunset accentuated and softened his features. He looked so soft, like he was incapable of breaking hearts, like sunshine spilled from the cracks and edges of his skin. He looked so painfully beautiful, Jongin needed to take all of him in.

Jongin just had to do it. This was the opportune moment to kiss Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo’s lips were soft and steady, his eyes wide but now slowly closing. It seemed so natural, like it was written for them to kiss at the very moment and that all they had to do was fall through. That by not kissing, that by not being there huddled together would betray fate. It is truly magical Jongin thinks that you meet someone outside of your circle, someone so aberrant yet so fitting. Do Kyungsoo was like a puzzle piece custom made for him.

Then it shattered. Adele’s voice resonated in the room and the spell was broken. Kyungsoo’s phone rang, he was shortly thrown off balance, like he was finally awake and that intimacy with Jongin was just a nice dream. Kyungsoo seemed to have lost his coherence as Jongin looked at him with such fondness. Jongin had stars sewn into his eyes and he just had to look away now. That or he would be stuck on them in an infinite amount of time. His phone continued to ring and he saw this as an excuse to look away.

Firm arms enveloped him. Jongin held him against his chest. Jongin knew that this was beyond physical attraction. This was beyond curiosity and need for company. This was Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo was enough.

They have been huddled in the couch for some time. The sky had turned black, dotted with stars. They were a spectacle, Jongin thought but he had something so much more with him.

“You just want someone so much, you couldn’t keep it in.” Lips swollen, lazy eyed, Kyungsoo whispered to Jongin.

Jongin grunted.

“It is when you love someone, that knowing it is not enough and sometimes for some cliché reason you just want the world to know.”

“I think that is why your friend Taemin married her.”

Jongin was beginning to understand. Maybe people’s feelings are packed in boxes, feelings that you cannot understand spilled over the edges, bits of it forcing their way out.

Skin, soft skin lots of it. Flesh against flesh, warmth that felt like home. Eyes closed, he tightened his hold on the tiny waist. His toes peeked just below the blanket, where it were tangled with Kyungsoo’s small ones. He very much liked mornings like these. He thought of boxes, of contents that spilled out like intricate art. Kyungsoo was a tiny but he was too huge for boxes anyway.

The kettle whistled from the kitchen, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee followed. He heard heavy footsteps against his wooden floor. Someone poked his head, a little too strong to be considered friendly. He had an idea who it was but he really hoped he was wrong.

“Slept well?”

It was Park Chanyeol, standing six feet tall, adorned with a smile that was too big for his face. He was holding a white chipped mug that Jongin could definitely recognized as his.

Hello!

It has been too long. I missed this story, I was actually having thoughts of abandoning it but then I began reading fanfiction again and I knew I could not be away from the beautiful world of Kaisoo. It is simply not possible. I have plans on going to Korea within the year, but I need a visa first, such a hassle for us Southeast asians.

I hope the you are having a lovely time.