CHAPTER 5

Jongin convinced himself that Kyungsoo’s sudden declaration was just one of his whims, fleeting and facetious that would soon be just a thought forgotten. But it was already Wednesday; Kyungsoo was still in his kitchen, fixing himself a breakfast, drinking from Jongin’s chipped white mug as he got ready to leave for school. Kyungsoo left with a short well- practiced au revoir, Korean accent untraceable. His plate and mug were still unwashed, he looked motherly. He looked like a person who cleaned a lot but no. He was whirling a mess wrapped up in a pretty box. Kyungsoo was one of those, Jongin thought as he followed him out of his house. His appearance betrayed the eyes; he wore a costume out for the world to see, only baring himself to those few. Luckily, or rather unluckily, Jongin was one of those.

Another thing that was dead was Jongin’s house. Horrification came with the epiphany. The high lights of Jongin’s days  would be when they bickered about house chores or random things like the biggest contributor to green house gases or how Kyungsoo never closed a cabinet he opened. He sighed, Eren Jaeger fighting a female titan tuned down into white noise. There was no use in denying it, Kyungsoo, the God- forsaken excuse for a hobbit was tattooed on his mind, Jongin hoped it was not a permanent one or that it would not plaster itself further on an organ enclosed in his ribs.

No one was supposed to live in his mind, only him.

With Monggu’s leash clutched in his hand, Jongin wandered around the area. Jongin found out that Monggu didn’t like Kyungsoo a bit.  At least the dog and it’s owner had that in common. He barked at him, chewed his shoes and peed on his discarded clothes. Kyungsoo exploded every time, lectured a thing or two at the dog like a toddler in bladder training. He scolded Jongin too, being a lousy trainer and an irresponsible pet owner. In turn, Jongin laughed at his words, used them against him. Kyungsoo was lousy and irresponsible around the house, Monggu was young and thus he would copy whoever he was exposed too. Nobody won at their arguments.

Jongin laughed, loud, boisterous. He managed to turn heads, grabbed passerby attention but that didn’t stop him. He walked with Monggu, with clutched stomach as he continued to laugh, kyungsoo’s face in his mind. He was aware that people looked at him with judging eyes.  Everyone was crazy anyway, just different kind of crazy, different level of crazy, different understanding of crazy. People clung to branded normal; it was all very vague to Jongin, thus he chose to cling to nothing.

Jongin blamed his feet for taking him there. He blamed Monggu’s need to be walked. If it weren’t for those two overwhelming factors, he would not end up standing near Kyungsoo’s university.  Kyungsoo talked about it way back when they slept together. He wore a worn out maroon scarf, he was nestled in Jongin’s lap, running his fingers through jongin’s hair. He suggested that Jongin needed a haircut and to dye his locks into silver.

Now that he thought of it, silver hair doesn’t sound so bad at all.

The sound of Kyungsoo’s laughter interrupted his thoughts, he followed it and there Kyungsoo was walking ahead.  It’s funny how Jongin could easily isolate the sound of his voice, how cognizant he was with its timbre and vibrancy. Tiny details of Kyungsoo took refuge to his mind, how annoying he is and what not.

Kyungsoo walked with two more people, using the vivid description that he had forcefully told Jongin. The latter could easily differentiate Jongdae from Minseok. Jongin wanted to laugh at the reality that all of Kyungsoo’s friends were as tiny as he was. Was being just above 5 ft a requirement to their little group?

Then out of nowhere, he spied a male running after the group of hobbits. He reached and towered the rest of Kyungsoo’s gang.

“Kyung! There you are! He hugged Kyungsoo from behind, picked him up and twirled him around. Jongin panicked, Kyungsoo could have seen him when he was twirled. The anxiety was short lived, something nasty replaced it instead as the tall male kissed Kyungsoo, his hobbit square on the lips.  Jongin knew that green monster all too well, it crept his entire body but pricked only one target. Jongin might not like Kyungsoo, he might hate his very existence but he owned him. Jongin might not be the jealous type but what was his was his, end of story.  He his heel, hoping that the disease just needed isolation.

Jongin walked home, monggu whimpered against his chest, he decided that silver hair would not suit him anyway.

It was already past ten in the evening, the hobbit wasn’t back yet. He stood outside on the porch, he waited impatiently, his neighbors threw him suspicious looks. He had to use inappropriate amount of curse words for them to leave him the alone.  A car stopped in front of his house, it had Kyungsoo in it and so was the man from earlier. He watched as Kyungsoo took his time blabbing with that lanky male, they would look at him in turns. It irked him big time, were they talking about him? And they were laughing! Then they kissed, they kissed like they did not have an audience. Kyungsoo was putting on a show, he was well aware of that. He loved to push Jongin until he is on the edge.  He loved riling him up until he fought back. Until he pushed back, attention fueled him.

Kyungsoo finally got off the car and journeyed to the house.

“Sehun wasn’t wrong when he said that you had a kink in watching.”

Jongin was jealous, he knew this and he hated it. Sure, the guy was famous, but who wasn’t these days? The majority seemed to be enchanted by fame, enslaved by it even. Jongin just found it hilarious. Kyungsoo was living under his roof not the dufus’ so who was laughing now? But Jongin couldn’t bring himself to laugh, he couldn’t conjure any effort to bring his muscles to fake a smile. Jongin stared at the taller male who was contaminating the couch gifted by his beloved grandma.

“You’re gay.” Jongin said as he eyed the male, Park Chanyeol, long limbs and huge guns, Youtube sensation, the next top idol.

“So are you.” He eyed Jongin from head to toe, not intimidated by his exposed torso.

“I’m not famous.”

“Is  that a threat?”

“I don’t do threats; I’m in it for the kill.”

“I’m Kyungsooual.”

Jongin couldn’t string words together, couldn’t put them in order to actually mean something, anything.  

“I can sense it on you, if you letting him stay here isn’t an enough explanation. But I want you to listen closely Mr. put a freaking shirt on. Kyungsoo might be living under your roof, sleeping in your sheets but that’s going to change soon. I’m going to take what is mine and I hope that you’re prepared for a heartbreak.”

“Is that a threat?”

“I don’t do threats. I’m in it for the kill.”

Jongin stared him down; Chanyeol held himself with this certainty. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo had that in common, the ability to send him walking backwards, past the crack, past the edge but he was Kim Jongin. And that’s enough pretext to keep him midair.  Kyungsoo ‘s chuckle reverberated across the room, both their heads snapped a second too fast to where he stood.

“Are you guys fighting over me? That’s cute.” The male of the hour spoke, each syllable caught and fondled by Jongin.

“Don’t flatter yourself hobbit. Cute is a forbidden word in this house.”

“Why the hell is Kyungsoo here then?” Chanyeol retorted, throwing Kyungsoo that smile that meant to sweep people off their feet but Jongin found it extremely psychopathic.

“He only means I’m gorgeous Channie,” it was ephemeral but Jongin was sure he saw gloom flicker in Kyungsoo’s wide eyes. Eyes are such traitors sometimes. They water despite the smile, they glisten in mirth despite anger. They twinkle when you’re trying to glue back cracks and fix up dents from the inside. Eyes deprived the capability to lie completely.  Kyungsoo’s tongue was made up of false words lingering for the opportune moment to be spoken.  But this lie right now was spoken to convince Kyungsoo himself not Jongin, not for anyone he’s wearing a costume for.

Jongin heard the door bang, he was the sole human in his house, Monggu tugged at his pants as if reminding Jongin that no, he wasn’t alone.  Jongin decided to it, he wasn’t going to watch Kyungsoo to be snatched away from him.  

Maybe there were better words to utter, more precise words to put what he meant across. What came out of his mouth was a weak query instead.

“Where are you going?”

“It’s Thursday, a school day Jongin.”

“Why is he coming with you then?”

“No. He’s just dropping me off.”

“Im coming with you.”

“You don’t even have a shirt on.”

“ Didn’t bother you before.”

Begrudgingly, Kyungsoo let him inside Chanyeol’s car. He knew there was no point in arguing with Jongin, especially when he was .

“Why didn’t you ever ask me?’’ Jongin said, whispered. As if he didn’t know if he wanted it to be heard or not.

“What?” Kyungsoo asked.

“To drop you off.”

“You don’t even own a car.”

“I like long walks.”

The ride was stupid, Kyungsoo and dufus kept laughing at the things that happened way back when.  Although Jongin found some tales amusing, thanks to Kyungsoo’s  story-telling., his astonishment vanished as the dufus brushed his shoulder against Kyungsoo or when he pinched Kyungsoo’s cheek. There was something in the way their body spoke, he couldn’t put a finger on it.

“Why did you guys break up?” Jongin pricked at their bubble.

Silence, that was what Jongin received as the two male in the front seat eyed each other.

“Is that what you told him?”

“Didn’t tell him .”

They didn’t have to tell Jongin , he had eyes for ’s sake.

“Since Kyungsoo here didn’t even bother to tell you, which is kinda suspicious since he talks about everything. Let me fill you in. We are together but we can see other people you see, until one of us says to stop. I told you to enjoy it while it lasted didn’t I Jongin?”

To say that Jongin was disappointed was certainly an understatement. What a ing joke, he was just temporary, disposable.  

“Why didn’t you tell him Soo?” Chanyeol asked the male beside him.

“It was just because….”

“He wasn’t planning on staying, that’s why.” The words tasted acrid on his tongue, he forced himself to swallow them down.

Jongin pushed the glass doors and entered the building he had been religiously going to for a couple of months now.  Jongin was greeted with familiar faces that he had no name for. Mostly because he was just interested in remembering. He took a look at the wall clock and found out that he was just on time, how unfortunate. A beefy man on his thirties offered him a coat but Jongin refused.  He was bare and that was the point. He pulled a chair from the side and carried it to the circle.

 It was Thursday after all.

“Sehun is not here again.” Jongin heard beside him. It was Taemin, all bright and happy and bouncing. It reminded him a certain hobbit.

“I can see that.”

“You should maybe bring him next week, maybe a familiar face would encourage him to come.”

“You’re a familiar face.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t Taemin. I come here every week to fix myself up because the world deems me damaged. Maybe the world should halt their minds into thinking that it could fix someone, considering them damaged and broken just because they fell once.  I have my own to sort out. I have an enemy to outsmart, I have a hobbit who is about to leave my shire. I don’t want that hobbit to leave, which is really out of character of me.” Jongin was all bluster and smoke and maybe a little bit of desperation.

“The Jongin I know gets himself a hobbit if he wants one.”

“Hobbits are resourceful. He's find a way out.”

“Come on Jongin, grab your phone dial his number tell him whatever.”

So Jongin did. He didn’t like being told what to do, but Taemin held wisdom at the tip of his tongue.

Kyungsoo picked up at the second ring. He heard a sigh, but before Kyungsoo could say hello he cut him off.

“Break up with him."

Hello guys! I cant believe its been 10 months since i updated. I hope you havent forgotten about this, im guessing you did but thats okay. 

So who is going to EXOluxion in Manila coz i am thinking of going and i dont have any one to go with, lets all go together. Ticket prices are insane, my mind is telling me to be practical but I (we) have waited for this for so long and they say you'll regret the things you didnt do and all the jazz we tell ourselves to push that decision.