Absent

 

 

Doojoon noticed.

 

 

He noticed it, it was almost obvious. How tight Yoseob's grip was, how his hands trembled against his arm. How his voice shook as he spoke. He knew that something was bothering the other –and it was bothering the other very much. He knew something was wrong. And seeing as Yoseob was the type to keep on smiling no matter what insult or remark Doojoon threw at him, the fact that the other was feeling bothered about something meant that it was something serious.

 

 

He noticed it all. But instead –

 

 

Instead he kept his back facing the other, not even sparing a glance towards the other. He pretended not to notice. He pretended not to care.

 

 

He's probably just overreacting over some little stupid thing. That was what Doojoon thought as he lied awake on his bed, not able to get a wink of sleep.  It will be all okay tomorrow. He thought of that and he went to sleep, trying to push the feelings and thoughts to the back of his head.

 

 

But the next day did come. And when the first class was on going and the seat beside him stayed empty, Doojoon thought that he was just probably late. But the second class came, then the third, then lunch break came–

 

 

But there was still no sign of the other.

 

 

"Yoseobie's absent today" Gikwang pouted. Doojoon looked away the moment the boy’s name was mentioned, training his face to look as bored as possible… as if he wasn't listening. But from time to time he kept giving quick glances towards the group, straining his ears to hear every word from them.

 

 

"Yeah..." Dongwoon sighed. "I wonder what happened to hyung? Sick?"

 

 

"Doojoonie hyung, do you know why? You were with him yesterday right?"

 

 

"Stay a little longer. Please!"

 

 

Doojoon tensed up. He looked back at them, feigning a bored look. "What? Of course I don't know" He looked back at his food, and suddenly he felt so angry. He didn’t know why – or at whom was he angry at –

 

 

He stabbed his chopsticks into his rice.

 

 

---

 

 

The day ended, all classes were done and everyone was making their way out their classes – all except Doojoon, who was sitting still in his chair, looking down at his desk.

 

 

"Yah"

 

 

"Yah"

 

 

"YAH DOOJOONAH"

 

 

Doojoon looked up to see Junhyung in front of him. "Classes are over, pabo" Junhyung said, turning around and going out the classroom. Doojoon fixed his things, placed them neatly on his bag, and stood up. He glanced at the empty table beside him for a split second. "...tch" he clicked his tongue, walking out the classroom.

 

 

Tomorrow, he thought. He’ll be back tomorrow

 

 

The next day came and Doojoon sat on his seat, dumping his bag beside him. He brought out his half done homework, planning on finishing it before the teacher arrives. Normally he’d get it done at home but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t seem to get it done. He looked beside him.

 

 

The chair was still empty.

 

 

"Dammit" Doojoon muttered to himself. "Yang Yoseob that damned kid"

 

 

He didn't get it. Why did seeing Yoseob's empty seat make him mad? Why was he feeling so irritated about the empty chair?

 

 

"Dammit!" He fisted his hands, crumpling his homework in his hands.

 

 

---

 

 

The school bell rang, signaling the end of classes.

 

 

"He's fine you know"

 

 

Doojoon looked at Junhyung beside him as they walked side by side.

 

 

Doojoon's grip on his bag tightened, but he looked away. "Who?" He tried to keep his voice sound uninterested. Junhyung made a noise of annoyance. "Stop that. I know that you know who I'm talking about." Doojoon didn't reply.

 

 

"He's fine. I called him" Doojoon looked at Junhyung questioningly. "Called?"

 

 

Junhyung rolled his eyes. "Your'e not the only one who was his number you know. I called him and he answered. He sounded sleepy and tired but he said he's fine. He's got a fever but he's feeling better and he said that he's going back to school tomorrow"

 

 

Doojoon looked straight ahead. "Oh."

 

 

Junhyung stopped. He placed his hand on Doojoon's shoulder, making the other stop and look at him as well. "What?"

 

 

"You shouldn't hide it, you know"

 

 

Doojoon raised a brow, "hide what?"

 

 

"You were worried about him. It was obvious you know. Yesterday and today as well. You kept glancing at his seat and you looked irritated all the time – not you're normal irritated look but instead you looked like something was bothering you all the time. You should stop hiding Doojoonah. Usually I don't mind but..." Junhyung shook his head. "Besides, he's coming back tomorrow"

 

 

That was Junhyung's last words before he started walking again, leaving Doojoon.

 

 

Doojoon gritted his teeth. Tomorrow.

 

 

Tomorrow, he'll be back.

 

 

Then finally everything can go back to normal. Then maybe he can finally get the weird feeling away from him.

 

 

---

 

 

Doojoon sat down on his seat, taking a deep breath before looking out the window.

 

 

Besides, he's coming back tomorrow.

 

 

"It's about time he came back" Doojoon said to himself with a scowl. He was able to sleep comfortably last night – unlike the two nights before where he couldn't even get a wink of sleep. He knew he would probably never accept it, he would keep on denying it but the back of his mind was telling him that the reason that slept so soundly last night was because a certain boy was finally coming to school today. But he tried to morph it into a way that he was glad that Yoseob is back because that way they could finally finish that damned project.

 

 

He heard the door open amidst all the noise from the classroom and he looked up –

 

 

It was Yoseob.

 

 

Doojoon's eyes widened for a split second before he looked away, trying to pretend that he didn't notice the other arrive and that the younger was making his way to his seat beside him. Doojoon watched Yoseob from the corner of his eye as the younger walked towards him, head hung low.

 

 

Finally. Then finally everything is back where it should be. Back to the daily routine where Yoseob would always try to talk to him and cheer him up while he responded by brushing him off annoyingly. Back to the daily routine where the day would always, always, start with Yoseob going to the front of his desk and say 'Good Morning!' And offer him a bread snack along with a cheery smile.

 

 

'Good Morning Ahjussi!!'

 

He waited. He waited for the cheery voice of the other, waited for the carefree smile of the younger as he made his way to his desk.

 

 

But there was none of that.

 

 

Yoseob sat down on his desk quietly, placing his bag beside him before looking down again. And Doojoon blinked –

 

 

Where was the good morning? Where was the bread? And no he did not like bread still hated the thing but where was it?

 

 

Doojoon stared confusingly at the other. When the younger still didn't take notice of him he felt a sudden surge of annoyance hit him, and finally decided to be the one to step up. "Yah. Yah Yang Yoseob."

 

 

Yoseob's eyes widened, head snapping up as if he broke out of some trance. He quickly turned his head to Doojoon, realizing that it was him who spoke. "A-ah... Good morning" he said quietly upon seeing the older's slightly expectant but mostly irritated face. Doojoon raised a brow as the younger turned his head back to the front and back down, but he was even more surprised at the hushed greeting. It's been around a month since Yoseob entered his life – and destroyed every part of his supposed to be unchange-able routine – but this was the first time that it was Yoseob who backed out of a conversation.

 

 

Little did he know, but everything was not back to normal.

 

 

---

 

 

"Aish..."

It was gym class. And currently Doojoon was wearing a scowl as he cleaned up the large amount of volleyballs that he accidentally knocked down from its bag because he wasn't really looking where he was running a while ago. His frown deepened as he accidentally kicked a ball away, making him have to chase after it. The ball finally stopped and he bent down it pick it up, grabbing the ball before standing up straight again. He cast a glance behind him–

 

 

Yoseob was sitting alone in the bench, in his usual long sleeve jacket and uniform. He didn't change to his gym clothes.

 

 

A while ago Doojoon was watching Yoseob as the younger talked to the teacher. He couldn't hear it but he watched their teacher's expression as it morphed from confusion to understanding. The teacher raised his arm to pat Yoseob on the back before the younger stepped back quickly, avoiding the gesture, making the teacher raise his brow in confusing before again morphing into one of concern. He bowed one last time to the teacher, saying one last thing before he made his way to the bench, sitting down and looking away from everyone. Doojoon was so concentrated in trying to figure out what their conversation was about – it was probably Yoseob explaining that he couldn't participate today so now he was trying to figure out why... Should he ask the younger or maybe just try and guess – that when he finally came back to his senses he had already knocked down the bag of volleyballs.

 

 

Doojoon sighed, finally managing to gather all the scattered balls. He wiped the sweat on his forehead before stealing a glance – again – at the younger.  

 

 

He wasn't there.

 

 

Eh?? Doojoon rushed to the empty bench where Yoseob was. He looked around the gym before deciding to look in the locker rooms.  "Yoseob?"

 

 

 He poked his head in and found the younger inside, his back facing him. Yoseob stopped the moment he heard his name called.

 

 

A long silence came after that, Doojoon struggling with what to say next. He never liked being in conversations in the first place. And if he was in, it was usually Yoseob who kept it going.

 

 

It was weird. Never had he felt the need to start up a conversation unless absolutely necessary (by that he meant if he was going to gain anything from it), much less with the younger man with him right now. He was never the one to start those 'light conversations' about favorite colors or things you hate, because in the first place he thought it was a waste of time. And if he ever was in one of those 'idle chit chats' it was usually with the five, and it was usually Yoseob who started those.

 

 

But Doojoon tried. "Why.. Why didn't you participate in gym class?"

 

 

Yoseob was rooted on the spot, back still facing him.

 

 

"... I'm tired" His tone had the usual carefree attitude – but it sounded… strained. That was all Yoseob said before he walked away, leaving Doojoon.

 

 

'Yah yah Mr. Grumpy, hurry up and change I wanna play!!' Yoseob whined as he pulled on Doojoon's school tie, removing it.

 

 

'Stop that! Let me change on my own' Doojoon yanked the tie back from Yoseob's grip, stuffing it in his locker.

 

 

'Your'e so slow!'

 

 

'Your'e too excited!!'

 

 

Doojoon stared into the empty room. He narrowed his eyes.

 

 

"Dammit!" He kicked the chair beside him in frustration.

 

 

---

 

 

Doojoon stared at the quiet back in front of him with a frown on his face. He and Yoseob were climbing the stairs, making their way to the rooftop.

 

 

'Lunch!! Finally!' Yoseob laughed as he rushed up the stairs.

 

 

'Yah. Stop that. If you fall I'll laugh at you' Doojoon scowled, making the other laugh even more.

 

 

'You don't even laugh' Doojoon glared the back running in front of him.

 

 

Doojoon blinked, coming back to reality. Yoseob usually ran. He was usually excited for lunch.

 

 

But today he didn't look like he was excited at all.

 

 

Yoseob stopped when they reached the top, coming into face with a door leading to the rooftop. Doojoon stared as the other grabbed hold of the handle and turned it, slowly opening the door–

 

 

"Yoseobie!"

 

 

They had barely taken five steps forward when Doojoon's eyes widened, retracing all his steps back as Gikwang ran towards them – or towards Yoseob.

 

 

"We missed you!!"

 

 

Gikwang tackled Yoseob into a hug, laughing as he wrapped his arms tightly around Yoseob, making the other stumble backwards. "It was so boring without you!" This was true though. Ever since Yoseob came to their school, he had always been the one to set the mood for everyone. He made lunch even more fun, he made their hang outs more playful, and that didn't mean that it wasn't fun nor playful before, it was just that Yoseob seemed to have this special attitude that made the whole room he was in light up and he was happy.

 

 

"Gikwangie, I'm pretty sure hyung just came from a fever, so you shouldn't be too rough on him" Dongwoon said, sitting along with the rest of them.

 

 

"Ah! Sorry Yoseobie..."

 

 

"It's okay... Really" Yoseob reassured, smiling slightly. Out of the corner of his eye Doojoon saw that the smile didn't reach his eyes.

 

 

The two sat down with everyone else. Doojoon brought out his lunch, looking at his food silently.

 

 

"Eh? You didn't bring any lunch today?"

 

 

Doojoon looked up to see Yoseob leaning against the railings only now did he notice that the other was empty handed.

 

 

"Yeah... I forgot to..."

 

 

"You can share with me if you like"

 

 

Yoseob brought his knees up, hugging them as he rested his cheek on his knees as well. He looked away onto the view out the building.

 

 

 ".... I'm not hungry"

 

 

Doojoon blinked, looking at the other. Yoseob's gaze was far away. For a minute Doojoon look confused as he stared at the younger before he clicked his tongue in annoyance, looking away.

 

 

"You? Not hungry? Are you sure that you’re not sick anymore?" Junhyung raised his brow jokingly. Yoseob took a while before he replied, "Yeah..."

 

 

Junhyung blinked at the un-Yoseob like reply. He opened his mouth before closing it again, unable to think of anything else to say. He looked at everyone else, who all shared the same look of confusion.

 

 

Except Doojoon, who looked away glaring at the ground.

 

 

"Yoseobie... something's wrong with him right?" Gikwang whispered to them, frowning. "Something's bothering him for sure. Do you think he's still sick?" Hyunseung whispered back. They all took a moment to glance at the said person, who was all along with his gaze blank.

 

 

"Did something happen?" Dongwoon asked, and in that moment everyone's eyes turned to Doojoon for a response. Judging from how their eyes were all serious, it looked as if they all entrusted Yoseob to him and that they must have thought that he knew everything about the younger just because they're partners for a project.

 

 

But they were just partners, nothing more, nothing less.

 

 

Doojoon rolled his eyes at them. "How the hell would I know? I'm not his guardian or anything"

 

 

"I dunno... we just thought..." Gikwang trailed off, looking down while he puffed his cheeks. Doojoon scowled, looking away. "I'm just gonna finish my food and go" he mumbled, jabbing his chopsticks into his food. He felt irritated. More than the usual dose if annoyance he would get. Yoseob was ing weird today and everyone was expecting him to know why? He was angry. He was angry at them for expecting an answer from him. He was angry at himself for not being able to provide one.

 

 

Aish. Everything just seemed to be a hundred times more annoying today. 

 

 

----------------------------

 

A/N: This and the next chapter is by far one of the longest chaters I've written XD They we're suposed to be only one chapter but it reached around 5000 words so I had to split it into two, which is still longer than my usual chapters ; v ; I was never good in writing angst.. but I hope you liked it XD

Also thank you for the lovely comments <3 You guys are all so perfect and kind T_T <3 but aff is being y and is refusing to let me reply so just to let you know I love each and every comment <3

Oh- also if you have twitter it would be nice if you followed me on twitter hehe <3 @fii_byut