Certainty

Within and Beyond

Title: Certainty
Genre: Fluff

 


 

It was the end of another rough day of recording. Seungyoon leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes, completely drained and feeling slightly down. There was yet another round of adjustments made to their second title track Colour Ring, cutting out entire chunks he'd painstakingly drafted but were not good enough, and adding in other bits to round the song out. It hardly sounded the same anymore and Seungyoon didn't really know what to feel about it. He just wanted to get it done in a way that will be least painful for both him and the rest of the members, so that they would finally be one step closer to debut.

The sound of the studio door opening brought him out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see the maknae, his maknae, holding a bottle of juice from the cooler in the hallway. Half of his hair was up in that little ponytail Seungyoon so loved, and he walked towards him with a soft smile.

"Taehyunie? Why're you still here?" The older asked. Taehyun had been second in line for recording today and the rest of the group was done almost 2 hours ago while Seungyoon stayed to record his parts and wrap up the loose ends. Taehyun should have already gone back to the dorm with the rest of the members by now.

"I thought you might need a drink." Taehyun shrugged, still smiling, and put the bottle in his hand down on the table in front of Seungyoon.

"No vanilla latte for me?" The leader joked, knowing full well there was no way Taehyun could have gone into a cafe to get one on his own. He'd get mobbed by rabid fangirls in no time.

"You'd definitely complain later about not being able to sleep if I got you coffee at this time, silly." Taehyun chuckled, walking to stand behind him.

Before Seungyoon could ask what he was doing, he felt the relieving pressure on his shoulders and let out an involuntary groan. The tension that had accumulated from the long hours of sitting in the studio and never getting enough rest was instantly loosened as Taehyun massaged his shoulders with just the right amount of strength.

"Taehyun-ah... There are cameras..." Seungyoon said half-heartedly. His eyes had slipped shut again because the massage was welcoming and it felt too good for him to put any real effort into stopping it.

"Why? I'm just helping my overworked leader relieve some stress, there's nothing wrong with that." The maknae punctuated his point with a firm squeeze before finally patting Seungyoon's shoulders.

"Better?" Taehyun asked with that same breathtaking soft smile. He took a seat on the leather couch at the back of the studio and the leader nodded, turning his chair around to face him. For a while, there was just a comfortable silence between them.

It wasn't really common for him to be the one to show his affections so openly, but Seungyoon understood that Taehyun was just concerned about him. The process of producing Colour Ring had been anything but smooth thus far, and he was already beginning to feel a definite tension in the group at all the modifications being made. Everyone was tired and more on edge than usual, and Seungyoon knew he could get a bit harsh while directing the members' recording sessions. It just really wasn't a good time for anyone, and even more so for him as he watched his work get changed again and again and their debut delayed again and again.

"Stop worrying about this, Seungyoon-ah... We'll make it, and we'll be great." Taehyun's voice dropped to a quiet purr as he regarded the leader with an encouraging and earnest smile. "It'll all be fine."

It was all Seungyoon could do to not reach out for his hand, to hold him in some way and to feel the realness of Taehyun's gentle love. So many things have changed in the last year, since they went from Team A to Winner, and many more remain unknown ahead of them but Taehyun... Taehyun is a certainty for him. He has always been.

Nam Taehyun is not someone who loves loudly. He's not one who ends every night with an "I love you" or does extravagant acts to show his affections but Seungyoon feels it all the same. It is in his every glance, when he says "sleep in the room, Seungyoon-ah, it's cold out here", and even in this bottle of juice because he knows Seungyoon wouldn't be able to sleep if he has coffee this late at night.

"Thank you, Taehyun-ah... For being here with me. For me." Seungyoon said sincerely.

"Always. But let's go home now, leader, it's late." And there, in his eyes crinkled into little crescents, in his smile, and his words, Kang Seungyoon sees it again. The certainty of Nam Taehyun's love.

 


 

A.N.: Inspired by Kangnam talking music and busking in Shibuya during Winner TV, and also the way Taehyun seems to be quiety supportive of Seungyoon's works à la the way he spoke for Colour Ring on radio when Seunghoon was saying how tough the production of the song was. I've always thought that they share a deeper understanding in music, and hence, this. 

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jjcrossject #1
Chapter 4: oh my GOD this completely captures their dynamic and it's so painfully real but also so beautiful - like it could have me believing that one day they'll find their way back to each other again ;;
kmrxxn
#2
Chapter 4: this is so emotionally beautiful ;; (thanks gaia and the kangnam tumblr account that i got to read this thank you too authornim) <3
viole261 #3
Chapter 4: You always wrote simple but beautiful before..but this one is gorgeous and great as well !!! sweet and so much deep emotions involved..love it..we saw Yoonie thru taehyun's eyes..and all understanding without words are the beautiful of KangNam bonds...thank u Xin..thanks for this lovely story...keep up write Kangnam story pls...
Eiryia
#4
Chapter 4: I can't believe I'm writing my first comment on AFF on a kangnam fic, I don't even ship them (or I didn't..). I see from your other comments that I am in good company. Gaia of course was the one who made me aware of your writing.

My favourite part from all the chapters are "But that doesn't go with my fedora..." the realest line of them all. You write so very well it makes my own writing look like something a 14 year old facerolled onto a document. I rarely finish reading any fics because I don't find them beliveable. You however manage to tie in well known (to incles anyway) facts, and you do it so well. You manage to describe feelings, suroundings and situations in such a way that I as a reader feel their pain (and joy) and I almost threw my phone a few times while reading just because ;_;

Now, I am a huge fan of Winner and Seungyoon. I think we see him very similar even if our stories are very different. You obviously write him much better, but it's nice to see someone try to interpret him in such a caring and respectful way. So I just want to say thanks and I hope you keep writing!
kokky92 #5
Chapter 4: and how you wrote about Seungyoon through Taehyun's eyes, it was so important and so much (like him always giving so much, being perfect but also human, etc). I just loved the characterization and how you wrote them, their bond, their love, everything... there are so many things in every scene and I'm just gonna treasure this fic a lot.
Even if the end is bittersweet, it's so good and so realistic... you just ;__; you did so well. I'm proud <3
purple_winter #6
Chapter 4: 4. I read this in the morning after I woke up and I really wanted to comment since then but it took me like 16 hours to do that. Why? Because you broke my heart with this but not it a bad way.

You described so beautifully how they had fallen in love, first Seungyoon, then Taehyun and how they were almost there, almost...they just needed to say it out loud.

And you know what breaks my heart even more? I as a huge kangnam shipper, I know that if this ship would ever be even a tinny bit real probably that's what would happen, because the world would not accept it and it would destroy them even living in the dark. And all that makes me doubt what am I doing here and why am I even daring to fantasize/write about something what would break down these two precious sunshine balls that shower my life with so much joy. This is what makes this piece great, the power that your words convey, it hurts and heals in the same time.

Please keep writing and feed our hungry kangnam hearts. The drought is heavy these days and we are so deprived. Thanks :)
kokky92 #7
Chapter 4: This is so beautiful. ;___; i'm a bunch of feels atm and I don't have the strenght to reread it to comment better, so just bear with me.
I seriously loved the first part so much, it's so Seungyoon to go and check s and see if they're ok - and Taehyun is always the last one, because he has always so much to say. Overall it was so delicate and soft, the way you described eveything, but the feels even echoed more this way, piercing the reader - the way Seungyoon goes to him at night and tells him his heart (it's too much for my poor heart), and how he's concerned about Taehyun this specific night... the moment they share together, it's everything. I could feel the love Seungyoon has for his maknae and it hurts so much but in a good way. There is so much behind every movement and word, as there is so much deep down in his heart.
And then... then you let us see what Taehyun feels and there it is, the same feeling. And you kill us all because there is so much going on between them and this is not just a momentary feel, but something that slowly grew up from a long time ago and just keeps growing and living inside him and them. I loved how you just wrote about moments we know as fans and put in there emotions and their thoughts. I just loved everything, from Taehyun finding an idol and light in Seungyoon, to them sharing those special moments together, like after they win; there is just so much love and understanding and just... a bond that it's so evident for the whole fic and it hurts so well - even when I ended reading and it was done, I could feel the emotion still in me.
I know this is messy but random other things: the way you described them ;; Taehyun and his weakness and the way Seungyoon fears he'll curl up and hide his true self after all the hurting... Taehyun and the way he just seek comfort in him and love him oh so much, but respect his choice and follows; how he's happy to just have him, to be together in their path ...
shiningpoop
#8
Chapter 4: i was reading this chap in the midst of cold night clenching on invisible duvet because my blanket is still in laundry and my eyes who cant hide away any tear to fall because this is so painfully beautiful.
I love the way you explained how were they feeling to each other, how were they slowly yet sure developing mutual emotion, and how at the end they both knew things had to be covered but none would get wasted, none of them were trying to give up from the very core of their heart. I love the way you unleashed Taehyun's fragile side as well and eventually only Seungyoon with his manly and wiseful traits throve to bring some peace to Tae.
This chap might be not a fluff but sure this one is the sweetest. Theres a pit in my heart rn all bc these excessive amounts of emotion you managet to show in every word of this fic ;u;

Thank you so much! Waitin for upcoming oneshot/ fics coming from you!
nxmdxvx #9
Chapter 3: Hello :) I know your fic from Gaia. She mentioned about this fic at timeline, I asked about your writings, then she recommended this (should thank her for recommending me this). This is beautiful, fluffy story! The term 'boyfriend' makes me comfortable and content. Warms and lovely. Can I pick my favorite part? "Seungyoon kept advancing with each sentence, closer and closer until his nose was nuzzling all over Taehyun's face, making him giggle uncontrollably because he was ticklish as heck." and Gaia is right, this is so couple-ish and thank you for putting it there. <3 I'll be waiting for the next chapter. Fighting!