“I’m really sorry, Sehun.”

That was my seventeenth call to him that day. He wasn’t picking up. His mom had called me earlier, asking whether or not I got Sehun’s Valentine’s gift for me. It made me feel double with guilt. So his mother knew. How could I have been considered his best friend when I didn’t even know he liked me for some time now?

I remember staring at my ceiling, my arms both spread on the bed like I was being tied down. The pain in my heart from earlier made its way back. Sehun was so dear to me, he really was. He was the one who cheered me on when I joined an extemporaneous speaking contest; was the one who congratulated me when I got into the final five, and was the one who lifted my spirits up when I landed fourth place. He’d been there when I got into a fight with my mom; been there to tell me that I at least had my mom waiting for me to come home, and been there to actually bring my mom and I closer again.

He’s done so much yet I wasn’t even able to tell him that I was in love with his best friend? I could’ve at least spared him the pain of a heart ache. But thinking now, how could I? Of course I didn’t want to hurt him. I didn’t want him to be in pain in any way. If only he’d known this as well. I genuinely didn’t want to hurt him. And I know that telling him I was in love with Luhan would’ve hurt him like I .

But that was after he had confessed. If I had told him earlier, before all of this happened, then I wouldn’t have felt this guilty. If I had told him earlier, then he wouldn’t have confessed to me and he wouldn’t have confessed.