2009 . 06 . 13 – 7:15PM

"What do you mean, I can't talk to her?"

A groan was heard from the one who was asked the question. She felt her anger boil and got up from the couch and went to the dining table, leaning against it. She crossed her arms.

"I didn't stutter, Amber," Vanessa said sternly.

Amber threw her arms up in confusion. "What are you talking about, babe? She's in my group, I HAVE to talk to her."

"Figure it out then."

"Are you serious right now?"

Vanessa took a step towards Amber and looked at her girlfriend in the eye. "At this point, I honestly don’t care, anymore.  I see how she treats you—I see how she treated us.  She doesn’t like me, therefore, I don’t like her.  You’re not talking to her.  End of story."

Amber furrowed her eyebrows, opening and closing in disbelief. She, too, began to feel her skin boil. "I came out to her and she accepted it, Vanessa."

"That's what you think." Vanessa took another step towards Amber and placed her hands on her hips.

Amber shook her head. "She's my best friend," she said with reason.

"And I'm your girlfriend," Vanessa rebutted.

“You’re really making me choose right now?” Amber shoved her hands into her pockets. She shook her head once again, not believing what was happening. Of all the people. She couldn't understand. "I can't. I have to talk to her; we're debuting together. What you're telling me is just irrelevant."

Vanessa raised an eye brow. "Excuse me?"

She scratched the back of her head and ruffled her hair in frustration. "Vanessa, I can't just choose—"

Without a thought in mind, Amber was interrupted by something she never thought would happen. She held her face staying in the position she found herself in, looking to the side, eyes wide, and agape. Vanessa gasped and covered .

"Am, I'm so sorry," Vanessa pleaded reaching her arms out.

Amber took a step back, still holding her face. "I can't believe you just slapped me," she said lowly.

"I made a mistake," Vanessa said gently. Tears suddenly formed in her eyes and a few of them dropped. She hugged herself. "I'm sorry," she apologized again, her voice cracking in the words.

Amber's heart broke seeing this, but her frustration bugged her because she knew that what Vanessa did was wrong. She didn't know what to do so she just hugged her girlfriend and as a response, the older girl sobbed into the crook of her neck. They continued to stay like that for a few more minutes before Vanessa broke away, caressing Amber's face. The tomboy tensed up and the older girl felt it. "I won't do it again.  I promise," she reassured, wiping her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Amber."

Amber gave out a feigned smile. She swallowed the lump forming in . "No, I shouldn't have gotten you mad." She sighed. "I'll try not to talk to her. But I can't make it obvious around everybody else," she reasoned.

Vanessa's eyes lit up. "No, it's okay—"

"No I want to." What am I saying?

Vanessa's eyes softened. She wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's shoulders and brought their foreheads together. "I...I love you," Vanessa mumbled.

Amber looked into Vanessa's eyes and felt her heart skip. She gave Vanessa a soft kiss on the lips. "I love you, too."

2009 , 06 . 14 – 6:19PM

"Is it any different being in an international school?"

Krystal shook her head at the question. "Not really, we just speak in English."

"That's hard," Sulli admitted in defeat, causing her three other members to laugh.

Victoria took a bite into her sandwich. The girls of f(x) were taking a small lunch break after rehearsing for their debut song. Sweat trickling down the sides of their face, hair pushed to the back. Empty bottles of water and Gatorade scattered everywhere in their little corner. "Do you two have classes together?" she asked.

Amber shook her head and took a quick glance at Krystal. "Nah. She's too young."

Krystal chuckled. "Oh shut up."

Amber gave out a small laugh. "We see each other, though, every now and then at least." She swallowed what she was chewing. "But lately, I haven't seen her," Amber stated.

"Well yeah, it's because she's been with that Aiden guy, no?" Sulli asked innocently.

"Who's Aiden?" Luna and Victoria asked in unison, same levels of confusion present.

Krystal's face quickly transitioned to a faded light pink as she glared at Sulli. The latter took a second to realize and made a big-O with . She covered with a gasp. "Oh my God, I thought they knew!" she exclaimed.

"No," Krystal said sternly. "They didn't."

Amber did a double take on the information that came out too quickly. Aiden?

She shook her head. "Hold on, he has a girlfriend," Amber said in English.

Krystal swallowed the lump that formed at the top of . She still could feel her face hot in embarrassment and for some reason, guilt. "Am..."

"Wait what?" Luna asked, not understanding the English exchanged.

"Krystal," Amber called seriously. "He has a girlfriend. Doesn't he?"

"He does," Krystal murmured.

Sulli scratched her head in frustration as she looked at both of the English speakers back and forth. "Korean! Please!" she screamed.

"So what are you—"

"It's me."

"It's you, what?"

"I'm dating Aiden, Amber."

Amber's mouth dropped. "When were you going to tell me?"

Krystal looked down, then looked to the side. "Now you know how I felt when I didn't find out about Vanessa," she said lowly.

Amber gave out a sarcastic scoff. "Seriously?" she questioned. "You're really gonna pull that card?"

"Well it's true!" Krystal said raising her voice. She got up from the floor and pointed at the tomboy from her standing position. "You can't even be mad! I didn't even find out until like how many months later!"

Amber got up from her place and took a step towards Krystal. She mimicked the younger girl. "No screw that! That was a low freaking blow! You know why I didn't tell you!"

"Still!" Krystal screamed. "I just started dating Aiden. It's the same concept!"

Amber was loss at words. She ran both hands through her hair in anger, closing and opening searching for words to say.  It was beginning to become too overwhelming for her.  She couldn’t believe what was going on—that this was going on. "What?!" she finally let out. "No, it's not! You can't be serious right now, Krystal!"

"Guys," Luna called out getting up from her seat. She tried to get in between the two Americans arguing, not knowing what was being really said. But just like Victoria and Sulli, they only assumed that it was because of the fact they were so close, small secrets hidden from one another hurt. "Come on," she said sticking both hands out.

"No," Amber called out in Korean, moving away from Luna. She pointed at Krystal. "What you said was really ed up. You can't just pull that on me. That's not fair. At least society accepts your relationship," the tomboy sternly said switching back to English.

Krystal rolled her eyes. "It's not my fault you chose to be a dyke."

Silence.

Krystal bit the inside of , mentally stabbing herself as she realized how high the level of horrible was seen and heard by her immediate action and poor choice of words.  She caught herself; she was never one to use such derogative terms, nonetheless one that Amber technically was since she was indeed a lesbian.  But dyke?  It was just another fire on fire—she knew that some people were uncomfortable with just “tomboy” and even “lesbian.”  She knew better than that.  Amber continued to stare Krystal down, burning a hole through the younger girl. All the other three could do was watch in silence. Amber clenched her teeth and formed fists.

"I didn't mean that," Krystal began, trying her best not to say any other thing in the category of stupidity.

"Shut up," Amber replied aggressively. She made her way towards her bag and started packing her things on the other side of the dance room.

"Amber," Krystal called after her. Silence was heard from the other girl for a brief moment. The older girl finished packing her bag, pausing at her position.

"You know," Amber said turning around to the girl behind her, "Vanessa was right."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Krystal asked, stopping her tracks in distraught.  She talks about me?!

"Nothing you should worry about," Amber answered dryly and headed to the door. She pointed at the clock in the room. "Practice is over anyways," she announced in Korean.

"Amber!" Krystal screamed when Amber opened the door to leave.

The tomboy paused and turned her head. She made eye contact with Krystal and the younger girl could sense the fire flaming through her eyes.

" you."

Krystal felt her heart sink hearing the English words she only understood as she watched her best friend leave abruptly. She continued to stand there, replaying the scenes all over in her head. She just got cursed out by Amber. Of all people. All because of poor judgment and stupidity. She felt another lump form up in . She swallowed it the best she could. Without any more thought, she jetted to the door, ignoring the calls of her name from her other members. Krystal sped down the stairs and jogged to the back entrance, the entrance she knew Amber would take because it was closest to their dorm. She exited the building and couldn't find the tomboy in sight.

Knowing the route to the girls' dorm, she began to jog towards it and stopped abruptly when she heard voices behind a nearby corner's brick wall.

"See? I told you."

Krystal recognized the voice and slowed down her pace, sneakily going up against the wall. She peaked behind it and found Amber and Vanessa facing each other, both clearly angry.  She tried her best to stay hidden, noticing that she was in Vanessa’s peripherals.

"I know," she heard Amber say.

"You're so stupid, sometimes," Vanessa said with an attitude. Krystal's mouth dropped at the statement. Whoa, what the hell?

"Yeah," Amber said pointing at Vanessa up and down. "Keep going, what else do you have to degrade?"

Vanessa rolled her eyes. "Seriously, babe," the tomboy added. "I'm obviously upset over this sh*t and all you can do is just sh*t talk me as if I'm the bottom of your shoe."

Vanessa scoffed. "Well maybe if you had listened to me in the beginning, you wouldn’t be dealing with this sh*t, then huh?"

Amber shook her head and leaned to one side. "Whatever, I'm not dealing with this."

Vanessa smacked the backside of Amber's head when she saw her turn around to walk away. The tomboy let a sound out of discomfort as she turned around, eyes fuming. Krystal's anger began to boil.

"Are you ing kidding me?" Amber called out as if she read Krystal's mind.

It earned her a slap to the face. Amber remained silent. "I'll let you think on that one," Vanessa said. She shook her head. "You know I love you, Amber. But when you don't wanna listen, I don't know what you want me to do."

Amber stayed silent. Her face unreadable. Krystal was about to jump in and say something until Amber spoke, turning her head to her girlfriend. "I love you, too."

What?!

"Come on," Amber said melancholy. "I'll walk you home. Let’s just forget about this."

Vanessa hesitated, thinking for a minute.  She crossed her arms and looked straight, suddenly feeling eyes on her and her girlfriend.  She caught eyes with Krystal at the corner and clenched her teeth, the latter doing the same knowing she had been seen.  Vanessa gave off a snarky smirk and winked quickly as she hugged Amber.  If Krystal’s temperature could get any higher, it did—she was livid.

"I'm sorry," Vanessa said with sympathy, still keeping eye contact with Krystal.

"I know, it's okay."

Krystal felt her limbs freeze in anger.  She continued to watch their silent hug and watch Amber indulge deeper into Vanessa’s “apology.”  She couldn’t lie, she had no problem with the girl before until she found them at the dance.  From there, it got rocky.  But this?  She knew Vanessa purposely enjoyed her watching the whole scene fold out—as if Amber was her toy; she could keep her.  This wasn’t just rocky—it was a whole bunch holes and cracks mixed with rocks, boulders, tree trunks—everything was just a mess.  As she watched the two of them walk away, she sighed roughly as she felt tears form up out of frustration and confusion.  At this point, Krystal did not know what to do, anymore.