Part Eight 

Seungyoon left his body fall on his bed, his soft and comfy bed. He usually slept late at night, but that day his body especially craved for it.  Since last week, they were traveling from Japan to Singapore then to Korea, and in two days they’ll have to take a flight back to Japan again.

Just the thought of it made his eyes feel heavier, that week was one of the craziest ever since their debut, even though he couldn’t deny the happiness he felt about it. Finally they were promoting their songs and meeting their fans, maybe not in a way he expected, but seeing their smiles was a priceless gift that melted his heart.

Seungyoon tried to close his eyes but the noise of his door opening woke him up from his lethargy. He hoped it was just Jinwoo, but destiny wasn't at his favor when suddenly the weight of one of the members got on him along with an annoying squeal.

- Wake up - the annoying voice said, and Seungyoon pressed his face in the pillow. - Yah! Kang Seungyoon, don’t try to fool me. I know you are awake – he said and started to jump over him, as he was a kid. 

Huffing, Seungyoon pushed him to the other side and shouted - Yah!!! Seunghoon hyung stop, you are so annoying- but Seunghoon smiled playfully and proudly for waking him up.

-What do you want? - Seungyoon grunted informally while he faced him with a frown.

Seunghoon laughed at him and Seungyoon just wanted to punch him, as always his hyung enjoyed irritating him. 

- Kid, I am your hyung. Don’t be that casual - Seunghoon said with a grin all over his face and Seungyoon’s resolution to punch him increased.

- Hyung my – the younger grumbled.

- Do you have one? - Seunghoon replied while trying to contain his laughs.

- off - Seungyoon grunted and kicked Seunghoon out of his bed - get lost, I want to sleep – he screeched.

-Since when you sleep that early? - Seunghoon asked while he pointed at the clock marking 1AM and sat down again at Seungyoon’s bed - Anyway, I wanna talk to you about something important – he said, this time with a slight of concern in his voice.

“Damn it” Seungyoon thought in that moment while the older faced him with shrewd eyes.

-I want to talk about Taehyun – He said, and Seungyoon felt a lump forming in his throat, that topic was one of the things he was trying to avoid.

-What about him? – He replied, maybe too fast and maybe too nervous, because those chocolate eyes on him looked at him as if he knew everything – I mean…

- I know what do you mean – Seunghoon interrupted in sarcastic way – So, What’s the deal between you two? – He pointed out; this time his voice was serious.   

-Eh? I don’t know what are you talking about? – Seungyoon replied but this time his eyes were on Seunghoon shoulder and not on his eyes, it wasn’t like he couldn’t lie, it was more like he felt guilty for doing it.

-Do you really want to play the fool game with me, Seungyoon? – He asked reproachfully, Seungyoon gulped but didn’t say anything; his brain was trying to find a solution or a way to escape it. – I know something happened that Sunday, something changed about him, and specially between you two.

-Hyung – Seungyoon said and looked at him – maybe you are misunderstanding him, us… maybe…

-Yoo Hee Yeol’s sketchbook – Seunghoon cut him off with hard eyes – the encore part, just before you two sang Different, I tried to ask you something. But Taehyun didn’t let me; he replied for you and even stayed there with his hand on your chair. As if no one could get close to you, just him – he pointed out - As if you two were the only one there. And then both of you “talked with your eyes” and were singing Different. Two weeks ago you both couldn’t even talk without fighting and now this? – He added, and Seungyoon felt how his throat was closing.

-Hyung, you know that Taehyun and I were always like that in the past, we really understand each other, and maybe that’s the main reason why we fight a lot sometimes, you know, too alike. – Seungyoon said with his heart pounding fast - But now we are trying to fix it and go back at how we used to be. – He added with a nervous voice.

-Ok, I will give you that Seungyoon, - Seunghoon agreed but his voice said he wasn’t convinced - but in one of the fanmeetings, this week... We were just playing around and his stare at us were like daggers, I was just joking about the tissue on your head but he took it off with such an annoyed face. – Seunghoon pointed out, but Seungyoon couldn’t even remember that moment.

-Come on, that’s stupid hyung, he was just taking that off, I don’t see nothing “weird” as you said – he reproached.

-Really? So today, when we were at Yoon In Ha radio and he put his belongings on Mino’s seat and claim it as own, he was like “Hyung, your spot is there, I’m next to Seungyoon-hyung. Staff said that” – Seunghoon imitate him while he moved his arms – as I can remember staff didn’t say anything about the positions and you stayed in silent and let Taehyun do whatever he wants and…-

-No, hyung. It’s not like that- Seungyoon cut him off - You know, Taehyun is someone that cares about all of us, yes, we fight a lot, and maybe we are in “peace” now, but isn’t that what you wanted? Isn’t that the best for our group? – Seungyoon said, while he tried to make up the reality with words Seunghoon wanted to hear.

-All you said it’s correct, Seungyoon. He cares about us, in his way, but he wasn’t taking care of you, Seungyoon, he was being possessive over you, or you will deny it? – He emphasized his words, while his eyes searched for the truth. And Seungyoon knew he had to say it, he had to explain all to Seunghoon, but words couldn’t leave his lips – Seungyoon – Seunghoon said and touched his chin while he lifted it up – you, more than me, know the weight of the fame, you, more than me, know how difficult will be for us, tell me the truth and we will figure out a solution. – He whispered in a sympathetic voice.

And Seungyoon wanted to scream, let the truth go out, and tell how he was letting his emotions take decisions for him for the first time in his whole life, and he was scared as but he couldn’t go back.

-The truth is that… - Seungyoon mumbled but the sound of the door opening made them jump on the bed, as if they had been caught committing a crime.

The main reason for all those complicated feels and thoughts for Seungyoon was standing in the door frame.

-Hyung, Mino is calling you – Taehyun said with a frown painted on his face, his eyes were as daggers towards them and he didn’t move any muscle.

- I suppose he is looking for me, even if I don’t know how he knew I was here – Seunghoon said while he got up from Seungyoon’s bed – Why that face, maknae? I don’t need a chaperone to take me to Mino’s room, you can go now – he added with an evil grin.

Seungyoon could notice how Taehyun’s jaw clenched before he left his room, slamming the door.

Seunghoon laughed about it, and murmured – Such a brat – he walked away, but before opening the door, without facing Seungyoon, he asked again – Seungyoon, you and him… What is your relation with him? – Seungyoon could feel something odd in Seunghoon’s voice, but now after looking Taehyun’s behavior few seconds ago, he knew that before talking to Seunghoon, he needed a deep and real conversation with Taehyun first. It wasn’t something that only concerned Seungyoon, but both, them as a couple and how they will face it with the members and even with YG, if they ever have the courage to do it.

-Friends – Seungyoon lied – Taehyun and I are just friends – he added and felt how his own words tasted bitter in his mouth.

-If you say so… – Seunghoon murmured and left the room.

Seungyoon let his body fall on his bed, a big and loud sigh came out of him before pressing the pillow against his face.

Everything was so complicated and the struggle between his head and heart wasn’t helping at all.

*

Taehyun tried to smile, pretending as if nothing happened, but even if you are a great actor and nobody notice it, the bitterness will still consume you inside.

-What do you think about this? - Seungyoon asked with a big smile on his face, while he showed a new pair of pants that he wanted to buy.

-Mmm, looks fine hyung, but no matter how harder you try, you still don’t have so – Taehyun joked and tried to paint a smile on his face.

-You have enough for both – Seungyoon replied with a grin and walked inside the dresser.

Instead of laughing, Taehyun sighed and let his back touch the cold wall. People got inside and out of the boutique. It was Saturday, their first Saturday off in a while and that afternoon Seungyoon took his hand and asked him, no, he obligated him to go out with him to buy cloth.

If Taehyun was really honest in that moment, as everybody said he always was, he would punch Seungyoon’s dumpling face until the anger leave his body. But he won’t, not even if the bastard was with Seunghoon last night, “locked” in his room, on his bed, almost , because of course Seungyoon wasn’t wearing more than his stupid black boxer. But the thing that bothered Taehyun the most was Seunghoon’s eyes on him, on his Seungyoon. He saw something in them, something that he didn’t like at all.

-What is bothering you? – Seungyoon asked, now dressed with his regular cloth and his stupid blue hat while he was holding some cloths on his arms.

-Nothing – Taehyun said and took Seungyoon’s clothes – let’s pay for this, I’m hungry and I want go to home and practice, tomorrow I’ll be MC for first time and... – He cut off his words, because Seungyoon took his hand and pulled him inside the dresser – what the hell are you doing? – Taehyun whispered with wide-opened eyes and dropping eyebrows.

-Calm down – Seungyoon said while a sweet smile was painted on his dumpling face – look – he added and took out two tickets from his pocket – it wasn’t easy to get, but I know you like this… it’s in a few hours but… hey, why that face? – He wondered with tickets still in his fingers.

Taehyun felt like some butterflies fluttered inside his belly, the warm sensation was eating him inside, and he was trying not to show it to Seungyoon, but he knew it was impossible to hide those emotions, at least to Seungyoon.  

-Bastard – he muttered, and punched him as soon as he got those tickets in his hand. It was an art exposition in one of those galleries around Garosu-gil area, and now he could understand why he brought him there. A lump formed in his throat.

He didn’t want to have hope, but his heart was weak and pounced as a fool, a totally fool.

-I knew you will have a reaction, but didn’t expect a punch – Seungyoon joked while he caressesed his “injured” shoulder – My friend told me that some artist there will show his tribute for Basquiat, you will like it. – He added and stole a sweet kiss from his lips, causing Taehyun’s face to burn as a teenager girl. – Now, I need to pay for these – Seungyoon muttered while he picked up his cloth, that fell down at the floor when Taehyun punched him again.

Taehyun clenched the hand holding the tickets against his heart, which was pounding fast.

“.”

*

The beautiful color between green and ochre of ginkgo trees at the beginning of autumn in Garosu-gil area seemed to match Taehyun flustered heart; undecided, scared and knowing that soon everything will change.

-What’s up?- Seungyoon asked again but Taehyun just looked the tree-lined street.

-The color, I really like it – He replied with his eyes fixed on the trees while they were on their way to the art exposition.

Even if he didn’t dare to glance at Seungyoon directly or even touch him, Taehyun could feel his warmth enveloping him in the midst of all the people, as if it was just them alone there, and he hated it.

He hated it, because that warm sensation would fade away soon, and the thought of it made his heart ache.

*

Seungyoon frowned at the sight of Taehyun’s blue glance over the city. The maknae was immersed in his own thoughts, and even if he tried to play around and laughed at his lame jokes, or even said he was fine, Seungyoon knew the truth. Something concerned Taehyun’s mind.

But Seungyoon couldn’t do anything, not yet. After all this time of knowing Taehyun, Seungyoon comprehended that the maknae needed his space and time, soon or later he will open his thoughts and concerns and share them with him, or at least it was like that in the past.

Their time apart had made Seungyoon feel edgy and restless about Taehyun’s behavior.

Some part of him tried to think that Taehyun was the same guy he met years ago, but people change little by little while they are growing up. And their fights and misunderstanding had hurt them, and even if Seunyoon’s heart raced fast when he was at his side, he wanted to know more about this Taehyun, he wanted to see what he had missed out while he tried to stay away of him, fighting with the struggles of his feels.

A lump formed in his throat while the urge to embrace him in his arms increased, but they were in a public place.

 “Stupid Public Place” He thought and anxiety gnawed him inside as the thought of his own fears attacked him; because he was scared and couldn’t deny it.

He was scared of his own decision to be with Taehyun, knowing that consequences could harm him and everybody around them.

Members, Taehyun and… his own mother.

Fear and guilty flooded him.

And that wasn’t good.    

-Seungyoon? Kang Seungyoon! – He heard from a pitched voice and jumped on his own feet while he tried to fade away his own concerns and looked at the owner of the voice – oh god! It’s Kang Seungyoon – the girl shouted and walked towards him, Seungyoon was taken aback but he shared a shy smile without knowing how to react. It wasn’t a good time to be caught by fans.

A soft laugh made him react, while Taehyun just screamed at his back – Blue hat ajusshi, come with me – he , and the girl cried out in shock for recognizing him, while her friends looked at them with curiosity.  

People around started to glance at them too and Seungyoon felt flustered. He couldn’t even react when he felt a soft and tough hand taking his.

-It’s time to go - Taehyun whispered, and both tried to hide themselves while they were walking fast (almost running), hoping their fan were too shocked to follow them.

It was almost the same like the past, when they weren’t WINNER and their friendship was stronger, without doubting feels and guilty inside.

Blushed and elated, Seungyoon pulled Taehyun into a dark street alley while they tried to recover their breath; even if they didn’t run, both were agitated and their cheeks painted with redness while laughs filled the place.

Indeed it was like old days.

-Told you not to use that stupid hat – Taehyun grinned while he touched the edge of it and a dark shadow painted his eyes, making Seungyoon’s heart pounce.

-But you loved how I looked with it yesterday – Seungyoon complained while his eyes looked at Taehyun, directly to his lips, thin and seductive.

-Yesterday is yesterday, today is another day – he smirked. – And now I can’t act as your manager, you know, I’m a superstar now – He winked and said with a playful voice.

-Well, you look like one – Seungyoon said in a husky voice, as he walked towards Taehyun, letting his bags fall to the floor. He knew they were in a public place, but nobody was around. He should stop himself and don’t do it. But Taehyun’s blushed cheeks along with his charming smile were like an invitation to hell and heaven.

-Seungyo---

-Damn it – the eldest murmured before kissing him against the cold wall, hiding in the shadows while he tested his soft and sweet lips. – You will be my ruin, Nam Taehyun – Seungyoon murmured before deepening the kiss.

An eager moan escaped from Taehyun’s lips and Seungyoon moved back.

-! – He exclaimed, What the hell he was doing?

His tight pants felt narrower, while his blood boiled. His ing body was betraying him.

-Let’s go home, Seungyoon-ah – Taehyun murmured with closed eyes, while his head leaned on the wall.

-Bu- but, the art exposition… - Seungyoon stammered, focusing his eyes on Taehyun’s exposed creamy and long neck.

-Right now, I want to make another kind of art, sweaty and steamy art. – Taehyun whispered while opening his eyes, looking directly at Seungyoon with lust written all over it.

Taehyun’s sassy words were the trigger for Seunyoon’s wild side waking up.

-, let’s go – he said and took their bags and walked to the main street, they needed a cab as soon as possible, because he wasn’t sure he was able to hold back himself.

Indeed Taehyun was his weakness and ruin.

Fear, anxiety and guilty didn’t exist anymore, at least not in that moment.

*

Sitting in the backseat of the cab some inches away from Seungyoon, without being able to touch him, was like a punishment to him. He didn’t know how it happened but just one touch by him and Taehyun’s body triggered like a wild animal.

-Nobody is at home – Seungyoon murmured while he was reading something on his phone.

Of course Seungyoon would ensure nobody was there, it was their secret. Their little dirty and naughty secret that will last few more weeks and nobody needed to know.

Some minutes ago, Taehyun was shocked by Seungyoon’s reaction. Kissing him in a dangerous place was not Seungyoon’s style at all, due to this Taehyun had the stupid and cracked idea that maybe, just maybe he had some kind of real power on Seungyoon.

But it wasn’t like that; it was only pleasure and lust. Just and no more.

The tickets to the art gallery exposition burned inside his pocket, as reminder that maybe, just maybe he could hold hope, but Taehyun was stubborn and knew it wasn’t like that.

Not going to the art gallery exposition was the best for him, because the day that their stealthy caressing and kisses will stop, and both will back to their own life, Taehyun will need to keep a place without memories of Seungyoon.

A place to heal his wounds, a shelter place to pick up his broken heart.

-We are here! – Seungyoon said with anxiety while his eyes were sparking as a little kid, while his smile enlightened his around, and the contrast of his white skin with that silly blue hat made him shine even more.

“A place without Seungyoon” Taehyun repeated to himself, but that place didn’t exist at all.

*

Author's note:

I know it's been a long time since my last update, so i'm really sorry and i dont have any kind of excuse :< . For those who keep reading my fic i want to say thank you, i promised myself finish it and even if its not the last chap, it would happen soon. 

Also i want to thanks Gaia, she is the one that always push me from the back and cheer me up. Thank Master Gaia, without you, this fic will be forgotten. (dont have enough thanks) thank you master.

About Garosugil part, It was the place that "blue hat ajusshi" thing happened, and also some moments that Seunghoon told to Seungyoon, can be find in some of fancams of those days (Sketchbook & YooInHa radio).

Without more to say, just THANK YOU for keep reading it and especially for those who commented (even if i didnt update for long time ;^; you all are too precious for me)

Cookies to all of you! *hugs you all*