Part three.

“Kang Seungyoon is going to release his solo album so you guys work hard” was a part of the words that YG said when WIN was announced.

Then Seungyoon knew that, in a way, he had become the bad guy out of the 11 trainers. Because anyone could think that even if he lost, he would be able to debut. So, he started to feel sorry towards them.

He knew it wasn’t his fault, but the feeling inside him haunted him.

Taehyun didn’t know how to take the news, all his effort depended on a reality show, a ing reality show. He could feel the pressure between the members and the other team.  It was as everybody forgot how to smile.

At first he couldn’t deny his team was a mess.  Since they became a group, each one walked their own path, they could play along but it was different to from being a group.

Another thing that wasn’t helping at all was that when they had to take a decision, he felt like nobody was listening to him.

On the other hand, Seungyoon was almost never with them. He was so busy with his schedules as a solo singer that, even if he tried not to, Taehyun missed him a lot. And when Seungyoon was with them, he stayed quiet and away.

Taehyun promised himself to let go of his stupid feelings towards Seungyoon, but because of his debut as a solo singer Taehyun couldn’t stop himself. Moreover the thoughts of them, team A, losing the reality show haunted him.

If they lost, Seungyoon would be a solo singer, and the others members would be split and Taehyun would be separated from Seungyoon, thus he wouldn’t be able to talk to him, play with him or just be with him.

The simple thought of that made Taehyun feel sick.

Due his own experience, when his parents divorced, he learned to never be dependent on someone, because one day this person will leave you behind. Despite this, he was feeling sick about losing Seungyoon.

Indeed he needed to stay away from him.

While they were broadcasting Seungyoon tried to lower himself as much as possible, because he felt really sorry towards the members. And when they were filmed he just gave his opinions when there was no choice.

Also, Seungyoon missed group practices several times because he was preparing his solo album; he thought that it was a setback to his team. And even if the members went to cheer him up for his debut, in some way he felt apologetic.

He smiled to them and as an answer they smiled back. That touched him deep inside. At that moment he knew that he truly needed them as part of his group, as a part of his family.

That day, unintentionally, he noticed Taehyun’s smile the most.  Sincere and gentle, without his typical cold appearance, it was like firework to him. Because of that Seungyoon could recharged his battery.

The day that Taehyun had a confrontation with Mino, he felt angry and bad. He knew that his behavior wasn’t the best- even if Mino was hard towards him - but Taehyun had so many feelings inside him that he couldn’t control his character and exploded.

First was all the pressure about the show, then was the stupid feeling of being unnecessary in the group, as well the hard words that YG said to him “You look like you are on loan from another team” that didn’t help at all, and last but not least, his mixed feelings towards Seungyoon.

His head was hurting, his pride and heart too. He just wanted to end all this mess. And that’s how Seungyoon found him.

-Are you okay? – He heard and turned around, it was Seungyoon.

-Mmm – was the only sound that escaped Taehyun’s mouth.

-Taehyun – Seungyoon said while he was sitting by his side – we are a group, you know that, right? – Seungyoon looked at him and Taehyun looked away - Mino wasn’t right, but you either, you…

-Seungyoon-hyung – Taehyun interrupted in a cold voice – I know what happened and the only person I need to talk is Mino, not you. So, stay away.

After saying those words, Taehyun regretted it. Because he could see the hurt look in Seungyoon’s eyes. It was fast but it was there.

-Ok – Seungyoon said and got up. Taehyun raised his hand to stop him, but he didn’t. 

Taehyun watched Seungyoon’s back while he was walking off; even if in his head he repeated that it was the best, something deep inside was yelling at him “you are stupid”.

Indeed he felt like that. The pain increased.

-!- He whispered and emptiness filled his heart.

Seungyoon felt hurt, it was the first time that Taehyun rejected him. And he didn’t like it.

In some way, he could understand Taehyun’s behavior. Because he had been like that in some part of his life, and everybody makes mistakes. He wasn’t saying that Taehyun was making troubles or something like that. It was more like Taehyun needed to take more responsibilities in the group, and had more confidence and pride in himself.

It wasn’t just because he felt rejected, no; it was more like they needed to be together. Just being a group would help them to achieve their goal.

For him, Mino was a good boy, and as a leader he had strong points, but he couldn’t express it. It was understandable that, with all the pressure on his shoulders and being new in YG, it wasn’t easy.

Seungyoon thought a lot of s, and that was the reason why he made decorated hats with the word on for each one of them. It was a symbol of union. Maybe he was a solo artist in that moment, but he really wanted to debut with them as a group. He hoped the members would understand his hidden message.

After ending the decoration, he walked inside the dorm and glanced Taehyun’s door.

And an awful feeling increased inside him, like a warning of something.

They kept losing and the pressure increased day after day. Taehyun felt as he was on a roller coaster, one day they had hope the other day everything seemed blurred. They were trying so hard, but all their effort was crushed by just a few words by YG.

Even the artist of YG didn’t look at them with good eyes, “Enjoy the performance!” they said, but it was not that easy for him. The stress kept him thinking about what would happen next. And the worst come when Mino hurt himself in dancing practice.

He didn’t just lose his opportunity to dance in G-Dragon’s stage, but also his place as a leader. The moment the CEO announced it, he could see how Mino’s spirit collapsed.

It was like watching a wounded bird. Feelings overwhelmed Taehyun and he hugged Mino pretty strong.

In some way he felt guilty, he was half-hearted, distant and made the things worst for Mino. He was just new, and he was trying to fit in the group.

Now Seungyoon was the leader. Taehyun had mixed feelings, on one hand he wanted to stand for Mino, but on other hand he knew Seungyoon had the aptitude to be such a good leader.

Maybe it was because we tend to support the one who needs us more, he took the decision to stand for Mino.

Mino, as a good man he was, supported Seungyoon’s decisions.

Seungyoon tried to make the right decisions, not for him or for just one member, no; he knew he had to make it for the group.

When he was appointed as leader, instead of comforting Mino, he gave him the directions that they need to take as a group. Maybe a lot of person misunderstood him or thought that he was cold hearted, but he had to stay strong for the group.

Seungyoon had a strong personality and the ability to analyze situations. He knew that members would be confused about if it was right to follow him because of Mino, and so he was grateful with Mino when he said “we have to follow Seungyoon now”, “I’ll follow you, no matter what”. That kind of things helped him with the group.

He wasn’t close to Mino at that point, but he respected him so much, and understood why Taehyun became close to him.

Maybe he had a lot of pressure on his shoulders, a lot of music to compose, but he noticed how the friendship between Taehyun and Mino grew up.

At first Seungyoon was happy, after the discussion between Mino and Taehyun the group needed to be united. But then something inside him started to bother him. Maybe it was the confidence they had between each other, or that Taehyun opened himself to other people besides him.

It wasn’t like Seungyoon was possessive. But deep inside, he always had the thought that in a strange way he and Taehyun fitted as friends.

So, when he saw in Taehyun’s eyes and attitude the resolution to support Mino, he felt hurt.

He knew Taehyun’s decision had reasons, but the loneliness Seungyoon felt hit him in a place he thought he didn’t have.

It was absurd, thus he needed to earn his confidence again. Writing the lyrics of the cover of <Officially Missing you> helped him a lot, because he talked about the himself from the past with just a guitar in his hand and his dreams facing the world.

He looked at the members and decided to work harder than before, only his work would speak for him.

Taehyun promised himself not to pay attention to Seungyoon, but sometimes it was impossible. Even if Seungyoon was more serious than before, he always was very courteous with him. “Good Job”, “As always perfect”, “Indeed you are the main vocal”. Those were phrases that filled his empty heart.

It was like Seungyoon knew he needed this kind of praise to work better. Deep inside, Taehyun enjoyed it but didn’t reply anything and had no reaction as he didn’t care. He put on a cold-person façade every time Seungyoon was near him.

Even Mino asked him why he was like that with Seungyoon. He just replied “I don’t know what you are talking about”. Mino didn’t push Taehyun, but looked at him with a concerned look glance.

Everything was because of his mixed feelings; now that he had Mino as his friend, he was sure that his feelings towards Seungyoon weren’t right.

He didn’t name it. But sometimes, when he found Seungyoon sleeping in the living room and nobody was near, Taehyun let himself touch Seungyoon’s hair. His heart ached but it was the only moment he could be close to him.

And every time after he did it, he was colder with Seungyoon than before. He was indifferent and didn’t smile back as if Seungyoon didn’t exist in his world.

Perhaps this wasn’t the best solution, but Taehyun needed to protect himself.

Maybe Seungyoon was too serious or a little cold in front of cameras, but the stress he was under was driving him crazy. Despite that he tried to listen to member’s opinions as much as possible. Even if Taehyun’s indifference hurt him, he was the leader and he needed to keep going.

He didn’t understand why Taehyun had changed towards him so much. Seungyoon thought that maybe was because he nagged a lot or he was bothered by him. He wasn’t sure, but he missed him a lot.

He missed old days, when Taehyun smiled him or when they laughed together about anything. 

So he took a decision and, with his guitar in hand, he approached Taehyun.

-Taehyun, I know you always work on tracks – he said while Taehyun was still looking at his laptop’s screen – I was thinking that maybe some of your tracks could help us with the mission of creating a song – he said avoiding to sound hard.

-I was working on a track few days ago, it’s not finished but if you want to listen it… -Taehyun said biting his lips with nervous and avoiding to look back

-I want to – Seungyoon replied without hesitation. Taehyun played his track while he was moving his head with the music. It was short but good. – Replay it – Seungyoon said when it finished.

Taehyun replayed it and Seungyoon got the chords with his guitar, and the melody started to sound in his head. Taehyun smiled to the sound of Seungyoon’s guitar and peeked pretty fast, but Seungyoon’s noticed.

-It’s good, as usual – Seungyoon said, and high-fived Taehyun, which was smiling at him even if he didn’t look at his eyes.

In that moment Seungyoon knew the name of the song.

Smile Again

Taehyun loved Smile Again, the song had meaning and even if he was not in the credit, he had contributed to the song. Despite that, it was Seungyoon’s song. He was so talented that his heart plumped out with pride every time somebody outside YG asked about him.

His family loved him so much, and he contributed with little anecdotes about him.

Nevertheless he stayed away, it was the best. Time was running and now they were working on the last competition. He wanted his song to be part of the final round, but Seungyoon’s song was chosen. 

Personally, he didn’t feel bad or jealous about it. He knew Seungyoon would make a great song. And he did, “Go Up” born when YG decided at the last minute that they needed another kind of song.

He could watch how stressed he was, Taehyun himself was pressured with making the arrangements and lyrics of “Just another boy”.

The final day was coming and they didn’t sleep at all. The nervousness, excitement and fear were growing up.

Taehyun didn’t have time for confused feelings, or maybe he was getting rid of those.

When they announced that they won, he couldn’t believe it. He tried not to cry, not as much as his hyungs were doing in public. In some way he felt apologetic towards the other team, they worked really hard, but the happiness filled him.

He hugged almost all the members, except Seungyoon. He was apart, trying to not let the world see his tears.  Some members of the other team hugged Seungyoon, but he couldn’t. How he could after being so indifferent with him all those months?

Then Seungyoon approached him with a sweet smile in his face, Taehyun stretched one of his arms while his other arm was still holding Mino. Maybe it wouldn’t be a full hug, but it was something and a sweet smile appeared on his face.

It was late when all of them finally got back to the dorm. They had celebrated with their families, and drank a little of alcohol, but not too much to be drunk. He was just happy about everything.

All the members went to their rooms except for Seungyoon. He was in the living room, thinking about everything and nothing, maybe it was the alcohol but he couldn’t help and smile without reason.

Nevertheless, he was sure that he wasn’t drunk, because he was having deep thoughts about WINNER future. He knew it was just the beginning, and that their group had so many things to work out. But he had the hunch that with hard work they will be a hit.

Some tears were running on his face, tears of happiness.

Overwhelmed, he heard a familiar voice - Seungyoon-hyung?.

 It was Taehyun, which was wearing a pajamas, and his hair was a mess, apparently coming back from the bathroom.

-Seungyoon hyung, are you ok? – Taehyun said, while he was rubbing his hand on his own face. He was sleepy, Seungyoon smiled at his action.

Seungyoon admired Taehyun as it was the first time he saw him, without make up and his sleepy face. To Seungyoon he was more than perfect. “Cute and perfect” he thought. And without thinking Seungyoon run towards him and hugged him tightly as his life depended on it.

-Seung… Seungyoon – Taehyun stammered.

-Don’t speak – Seungyoon said and pressed his body on Taehyun strongly – just for today, let’s enjoy the moment without regrets.

Suddenly Seungyoon felt Taehyun’s arms embracing him as an answer, and his head leaned in the space between Seungyoon’s neck and shoulder as if it was his spot.

His heartbeats increased and the essence of Taehyun’s body dazed him.

Indeed he was drunk. 

Author's note: 

First, I want to say THANK YOU ALL, for all your comments and support. Especially to Kokky92 <3

Also I'm sorry about this chap a little, maybe it is not my best but it was really difficult to me. And as always please feel free to comment (their cookies to me, and I LOVE COOKIES)