We Broke Up, I Broke Down (2)
The Chains of SocietyA/N – Sorry for the long wait guys. I completely take the blame. TT TT. I became really busy and completely uninspired because I still am unsure about how I want to end this. Hope you like it. This has 99% Kyuhyun (FINALLY!) Thank you for the huge support!!!! I seriously love all of you!!!!!!!! The comments and upvotes had me smiling despite my mood swinging like it was on a pendulum.
And I wonder if the angst has been taken down a notch...and wow to all the anger for the last chapter (expected reaction though because if u didnt get angry then I would have seriously doubted my angst writing skills) mwah to the commentors and upvoters!!!!! I hope you guys will support Kitty and I as we embark on the second half of the fic~~
And now off to the chapter~~
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Kyuhyun closed his eyes, wanting nothing more than to block out all sounds, all sight…all existence. Because nothing mattered to him anymore. Nothing felt right. Nothing felt good or exciting. But then…he didn’t feel anymore. With Hyukjae, even mundane things of everyday life, like waking up, going to work, coming back home, felt exhilarating. Yet now, with him not by his side, everything felt….wrong.
Because he missed him. Oh god how he missed him. It was like a clawing in his heart, a constant reminder with every breath he took, that his reason for breathing, the purpose for his life wasn’t here anymore. He had made him go away. He had no one else to blame for his misery.
But this was what he had to do. South Korea would never accept them. Their families would not accept them. Their friends would never support them. He had to do this. No matter how much it hurt him, no matter how much he felt as though his whole world was collapsing around him. Even if it killed him.
And kill him it did.
Every single time Hyukjae called. Every time his phone pinged with a new message. Every time there was a new voicemail. It killed him because he knew what his heart wanted…and he also knew that it was something he couldn’t give it.
Hyukjae.
His heart wanted Hyukjae.
With every fiber of his being, with every ragged breath he took…it all said one thing. With each waking moment, the tightening of his chest increases as his heart beats, drumming out its loneliness, crying out its desperate plea – praying for the company of the one person that had ever made him feel complete, that made him feel whole. The one person who had taken him to new heights of happiness, of life that he never thought possible.
…And then everyone else had dragged him down to the pits of hell, shackling him to the darkness, chaining him to despair, leaving him in the abyss to bleed out everything good, everything joyful, because to them, it wasn’t normal. He had dared to love outside the expected.
He had dared to find his happiness…
“Oppa!” came the high pitch voice from the door of his recording room, the voice that he was increasingly hating, despising both it and its owner, “the company wants us to go on a date today. Isn’t that fun?”
Kyuhyun sighs, fingers pinching at his thigh to stop him from saying what he really wants to, “Yes. Sounds like fun.”
The girls squeals and it grates on Kyuhyun’s nerves even more, “Yay, pick me up at 8? We can go to the Sheraton for dinner Oppa.”
Kyuhyun breathes in, deep, and then sighs again, silently, before fixing the girl with a small smile, “Sure. See you then Mijee-shi”
She giggles and prances out, leaving Kyuhyun wondering if this was how it was going to be for the rest of his life. This empty feeling, like he was missing something, like he was making the biggest mistake of his life.
He had dared to find his happiness…and now he was being punished for it.
And even though he knew what he was missing, he also knew that he wasn’t going to make that mistake. He would
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