A/N – I don’t know whether I achieved what I wanted to with this chapter but I do hope that you will support it nonetheless. Please don’t hate me too much but in my defense you guys were forewarned that this would be angst

….but I wonder if I’m losing my touch these days….

Also, heads up, most of the italics are words of others, mainly fans and then later its words or conversations etc of Lee Mijee (Kyuhyun’s declared girlfriend) – who btw is randomly named as I’ve said before in other fics so don’t go hating any Lee Mijee’s

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Hyukjae liked the darkness

Because in the darkness he could hide and be who he really is.

A scared and lonely man, whose heart had been ripped out of his chest and stomped upon, trampled to pieces.

A man who had been pushed and then kicked down to his knees until he was nothing but a ball of trembling fear and pain.

“Is he really gay? Kyuhyun-shi has a girlfriend now but the two don’t hang out as much as they used to. Was there really something?”

In that precious darkness, he wouldn’t have to face the world…those faceless voices that made his only happiness walk out…that stripped him of his only treasure…that left him deserted and abandoned.

“Hyukjae-shi looks like he lost weight. And he seems to avoid Cho Kyuhyun and his girlfriend at random events.”

“Oppa looks really miserable these days. Is it because of the scandal?”

“Is his company giving him a hard time? There were so many fans that bashed him.”

“I feel bad for him.”

“But maybe he is really busy these days? Perhaps another album?”

“We saw Kyuhyun-shi’s girlfriend talking to Hyukjae-shi, I wonder what they were talking about?”

“Maybe he knew from beforehand that that was Kyuhyun shi’s girlfriend.”

“As expected from a best friend.”

In here he won’t have to pretend, to smile and be happy even though all he wants to do is to cry….to let the whole world know that his feelings were very far from ‘happy’ and that he could not be what they expected him to be….perfect.

“Hello Oppa,” says the sickeningly sweet voice from the woman in front of him. “Thank you for looking after Kyu Oppa. You two are wonderful friends aren’t you? But no need to worry now. I will look after him now.”

She was beautiful. So beautiful that it made Hyukjae realize just how flawed he was…just how unsuited he was to stand beside Kyuhyun as his life partner. She was a woman. She could give him children. She could easily walk down the street with him without being called names for being who she was – a woman, the other gender, the norm.

And right now she had something Hyukjae so desperately wanted, the affection of Kyuhyun. Yet as he walks past her, all he can hear is,

“He left you. You think he loves you. Please!” as she scoffs in repulsion.

And it is the only thing that echos in Hyukjae’s mind for days after.

He left you.

You think he loves you?

He left you.

He left you.

He left you.

And then there wa