Hard rain pelted the window in the dark room, as the man sleeping in the bed tossed in turn.  The storm continued to rage on outside, the wind blowing hard and the occasional lightening would lit up the sky.  A loud clap of thunder jolted Jiyong awake.  He rubbed his tired eyes in frustration.  The dream that haunted him had came again.  How long has it been since he last spoke to her?  Last seen her? 34 days, 18 hours, and 46 minutes automatically came to his mind.  He’s been doing everything he could to take his mind off of her, and yet memories of her were still plaguing him. 

            Ever since BigBang arrival in Japan, Jiyong had done everything in his power to stay busy to point of exhaustion.  Their schedule was packed with TV appearances, talk shows, recordings, rehearsals, and any spare time leftover were reserved for sleeping.  But sleep did not come for Jiyong.  Most nights he would fall into a restless slumber and was lucky if he could get in 2-3 hours.  But on some nights, similar to this one, he would dream about her.

            Sometimes the dreams were just a memory, a replay of what happened that day.   It started with her heart-wrenching words and ended with him saying the words he regretted the most.  Yes, he was hurt by her words.  Yes, he was angry at her words.  But the pain that he felt now does not change the fact that he still loves her.  The flashbacks kept his wounds fresh.  It was as if every time he was finally able to go the day without consciously thinking of her, his subconscious would conjure her up just to reopen his wounds again.   But those were not even the worst dreams.

            No, the worst ones were the ones that he would confess to her and instead of rejecting him, she would tell him that she loved him too.  That she had always loved him, and wanted to be with him.  Those were the dreams he could not bear waking up from and the ones he wished he never dreamt of.  She would torment him with her sweet smiles, loving gazes, and warm kisses, only for him to wake up and realize it was all a dream. Having to mentally watch how happy he could have been was worse than reality itself.

            Knowing that going back to sleep would be impossible, Jiyong got up from his bed and pulled on one of his hoodie.  He pulled a bottle of liquor from his drawer and sat down at his desk.  Turning on his desk lamp, Jiyong opened his journal to the last page he was on.  He took a swig out of the bottle, and with a pencil in hand started to write.

 Late night rains falling down

I bring you back from my memories,

I promised myself I would be fine without you.

But I can't help it.

I drank the alcohol I couldn’t drink

Trying to fill my empty heart.

The days without you feel so long.

I pray that I may forget you

It's all a lie.

Without you happiness cannot be found in me

I can’t even shed any tears,

I don't want to live anymore.

It's wrong, it pisses me off.

Having thoughts of you and I,

I feel like I'm going crazy

I want to see you

            The words continued to flow from Jiyong easily as he poured his heart and soul out onto the paper.  Running his fingers through his hair as he took another chug from the bottle.  He picked up his pencil again, and wrote.

I'm so sorry, but I love you.

It's all a lie.

I didn't know, I know now that I need you.

I'm so sorry, but I love you.

I said things out of anger and without me knowing I had let you leave.

I'm so sorry, but I love you.

It's all a lie.

I'm so sorry, but I love you.

I love you more, more.

I'm so sorry, but I love you.

Can I forget you slowly?

So I can be hurt.

            As Jiyong finished up the last of the chorus, the sun was just beginning to rise.  The rain had stopped sometime during the night and outside it was another day.  Putting his pencil down and closing his notebook, Jiyong crawled back into bed to catch the last few minutes he could before he would have to wake up.  The empty bottle of liquor sat on his desk.  This time Jiyong fell asleep without any dreams.  Without Bom.

~* 2 Weeks Later *~

            Park Bom woke up just like any other day, reaching over to shut off her alarm she realized how sore her body felt.  Thinking that it was due to the grueling work out she had the day before, she forced her body out of bed and into the showers.  When Bom could no longer tolerate the uncomfortable pain she felt from the water in the shower she stumbled out, dizzy and weak.  She didn’t know what was wrong, maybe she was sick again.

            “I’ll take some medicine before I leave, that should do the trick,” she thought to herself as she got dress.  Grabbing a piece of toast, and her medicine Bom left for the YG building.  As she reached the steps to the door, a sudden wave of dizziness hit her again causing her to miss a step.  Her hand shot out grabbing the handrail.  Bom let out a sigh of relief as she had managed to save herself from injury and complete embarrassment.  Righting herself again, Bom tried to let go of the handrail but realized she was unable to do so.  The last thing she heard before the world around her went dark was a familiar voice calling out her name.

            “Park Bom!!”

A/N: Quick update for this week, the next chapter is already written and will be posted tomorrow.  Please let me know how you feel... the song used was Lies by Jiyong.  Its not a perfect translation, I deliberately mix up some of it so it'll be more of a working progress for him.  Even a genius like Ji would have to tweak his words around, right?  Anyhow, I feel that its a really fitting song, and possibly one written for Bom during the down period of their friendship/relationship.  I think G-Bom can be best described with these kind of moments.  Their happy times, and then their sad times.  It feels as if the progression of their relationship to their current state is a roller coaster ride; with a constant uphill, and downhill battle.  Like all relationships, there are good times and bad times.  Its a continuous journey for these two and I will continue to support and hope that someday they could finally be together.