Without hesitation, Nichkhun opened the door to the small restaurant and stepped inside. A slightly relieved breath escaped his lips as he noticed it was more or less empty.  It was easier not having to worry about being recognized. Since he was a regular, the owner greeted him warmly and Nichkhun send him a big smile and a short bow, before he slipped into the private area in the back, where his friend would be waiting for him.

Indeed, there she was, greeting him with a beautiful smile.

“Hey Fany!” he smiled back at her.

“Hello Khun, I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Me too, it’s been too long since last time!”

“It sure has.”

As Nichkhun finished removing his coat, the owner came and he ordered some coffee and a scone, while Tiffany asked for more tea, and a muffin.

“Have you been waiting long?” Nichkhun asked guiltily,

“A while.”

“I’m so sorry, I was at the studio, and things took longer than they were supposed to, did you get my messages?”

“Hmm… I got them, no worries, I like the quiet from time to time.”

“I can understand” Khun sent her a broad smile. Although both of them loved their idol life, sometimes getting a break in their busy schedules felt wonderful.

Soon their drinks arrived, and Tiffany sent the owner an extra sweet smile, making him all flustered, and Nichkhun barely managed to muffle a chuckle. The owner was a sweet middle aged man, a Jessica fan, but certainly not immune to Tiffany’s charm. They really did owe him a lot, because he had always provided them with a private space to meet up. It was probably not easy holding back big news like this away from the press, members of Girl’s Generation and 2PM secretly meeting up, so he deserved all their gratitude.

After taking the first sip of his coffee, Nichkhun relaxed back in his chair.

“You look better than the last time I saw you…”

“Thanks,” his friend sent him a weak smile “I’ve been sleeping better,”

“Did you make up with Taeyeon?”

“For now” she replied hesitantly, “…it was just… she got so pissed.”

“Did you go on the date in the end?”

“I sort of had to… You know, it’s like when people start dating, they feel like everyone in the world should find someone too, and recently the girls have been finding their prince charming… And well, Yoona knew this guy she said was perfect for me, and showed everyone his picture, and they got so excited… I tried to reject him, I really did, but eventually I ran out of excuses. So I agreed to it, and was planning to fake an excuse on the actual day of the date, but then Taeyeon found out… and well… You know the rest.”

Quietly, Nichkhun nodded, he remembered her calling him in the middle of the night in tears, because Taeyeon had broken up with her.

“Don’t you think it’s… time to tell the others?”

“You’re the one to talk, why don’t you tell yourself?”

“Touché” Khun sighed deeply, this really was so much more complicated than it sounded. It was too scary to admit everything and he certainly was not ready yet, so he couldn’t really blame her for feeling the same way. “But you’re OK now?” he asked again, just to make sure.

“Yeah, we’re fine… for now at least. I explained the situation, and she seemed to understand, but I think she’s still a little mad.”

“I can understand why she would be, and probably she’s feeling hurt as well, I know I would.”

“I just don’t know what to do” Tiffany’s eyes were moist as she looked back at her friend, “What if the same situation comes up again… The girls certainly are going to want to set me up on blind dates, and if I say no, it will seem like I think I’m too good for their friends, and I don’t want that. And mom has already hinted that some of her friend’s relatives would be well suited for me… I know they all mean well, and I want to please them, but by doing so I’m hurting the person that I care about the most. It seems like no matter what I do, someone will end up unhappy.”       

“I know the feeling.” The coffee was suddenly not the only bitter taste in Nichkhun’s mouth.

“I just don’t know what to do. I’m afraid I will lose her.”

“Don’t think like that, I’m sure we’ll figure something out…” But even as he said it, Khun couldn’t think of any way this could be solved.  

For the rest of the evening, they talked about their problems, and about their busy life, it felt good finally been able to catch up. It had been too long since the last time they had the chance to meet in person. Too soon it got late, they had to leave and they thanked the owner on the way out, and Tiffany promised to get him Jessica’s autograph.

They chatted happily as Nichkhun drove her back to her dorm, though he could sense that her anxiety at having to deal with real life was taking over again.

“Just drop me at the corner, as usually,” Tiffany said while unfastened her seatbelt.

“How about I don’t” Suddenly an idea popped into Nichkhun’s mind.

“What do you mean, it’s not that far, you don’t have to worry.”

“No… What if I drive you right up to the dorm, drop you there.”

“Don’t be silly, someone would see” Tiffany looked at her friend in confusion.

“What if they would?” Nichkhun’s head had never felt clearer.

“What are you crazy? As soon as someone would see us, the rumors would start, you know that.”

“But would that be so bad?”

“What do you mean? You’re not making any sense.”

For a while Nichkhun kept quiet, before he started slowly to explain his idea: “If everyone would think we were dating. Wouldn’t that solve all of your problems? Nobody would try to set you up with anyone, you and Taeyeon could just be happy together, and we’ve been meeting up since forever anyways, the only difference would be that we wouldn’t have to hide.”

“Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

For a moment, Tiffany’s eyes came brighter, and it was clear she was giving it some very serious thought, but then she shook her head, facing reality:

“There is no way I could let you do that for me, I’ve already leaned on you too much... no way I could take advantage of you like this. What would your fans say?”

“Aren’t you slightly curious?” now Nichkhun was getting more eager, “We’ve known each other for years, everyone knows that, so if they can’t accept a relationship between the two of us, they definitely can’t accept our real ones.”

“But…”

“And I wouldn’t be doing this only for you… I’m in the same situation, this would solve both of our problems, and if it turns out to be a disaster, or if one of us wants out, we can always fade out our relationship, say that our busy idol life got in way.”

For a moment Tiffany kept quiet, and then slowly muttered: “Are you absolutely sure?”

“Completely.”

“Then… Let’s do this.” Now the fire in her eyes was finally back, and it didn’t feel like looking at a defeated woman.

Both of them completely eager, they talked, and decided that getting caught right in front of the dorm was too obvious, and settled on finding a not too crowded street. After driving around for a while they found the perfect spot.

“Wait.” Tiffany stopped him, “I-I should tell Taeyeon… She’s still mad, so I don’t want there to be any misunderstanding.”

They parked in a quiet spot in the shadows, where they wouldn’t be seen or recognized and Nichkhun waited with a nervous knot in his stomach as Tiffany called her girlfriend:

“Hey baby… How are you doing?... Yeah I’m still with Khun, but I’m coming home soon…” Taking a deep breath she started: “Actually… Nichkhun had an idea, but I wanted to hear what you think about it.”

Holding his breath, Khun listened as Tiffany spilled everything out in the smallest details, about the risk, but that this could solve all their problems. Then she ended with, “So what do you think? Is it a horrible plan, or should we go through with it?”

Feeling terribly impatient, Nichkhun wished he could also hear Taeyeon’s part of the conversation. After a while, Tiffany said: “Are you sure?” and then she added: “Love you, see you later.”

“And?” Nichkhun asked impatiently, exploding with impatience.

Carefully, Tiffany put her phone back into her purse, and slowly looked up at him:

“She said to go through with it.”

“For real?”

“For real.” She confirmed with a very big smile.

“Are we really going to do this?”

“Only if you are comfortable with it, you don’t have to go through with it you know?”

“Let’s do it!” and the smile he got from his friend was all the answer he needed, and he started the car again, drove it to the place they had decided on, parked, and stepped out of the car, opening up the door for Tiffany. Soon people noticed them, and they kept it cool as pictures were taken of them, and then quickly returned to the car.

“We really did it” she replied nervously, once they arrived to her dorm. “There’s no backing out now?”

“I guess there isn’t” but without even realizing it, Nichkhun was smiling, this could really work out. “The only thing we can do now is wait and see, so go, be with your honey!”

Laughing, Tiffany bent forward and gave him a hug:  “You really are amazing, you know that, right?”

“Right back at you” he replied with a smile, and then she was gone.

Before he had even managed to drive out of the neighborhood, Nichkhun got a call from his manager, and not surprisingly, the photos were already online. After dropping by the agency, there was an emergency meeting about damage control, where it was decided to admit to the dating. When he arrived to the dorm, Wooyoung and Minjun were there waiting for him, along with Chansung and Junho of course, but Taecyeon was shooting his drama, so maybe he hadn’t even gotten the news yet.

Once he saw them, Khun felt guilty for not having consulted them about something this big, but maybe not surprisingly they were very supportive.

“You should have been more careful” Wooyoung said slightly accusingly, but still congratulated him, and seemed happy.

“You sly dog,” Minjun gave him a big hug, “You always told us the two of you were just friends! Now I need to hear everything!” And Junho joined in, making a rather suggestive joke.

The only person that was not happy, was the person he had expected would be happiest of them all, the person he had done this for.

“Are you OK?” he secretly asked the maknae, while Wooyoung and Junho were focused on nagging at Minjun for a moment.

He only got a very cold glance as an answer, before Junho came, squeezing in between them: “I’m hungry, we should make something to eat while hyung tells us his story.”

They all rushed into the kitchen, Minjun asking about their relationship, while Junho made Chansung put up some ramen. Not really comfortable about lying to them, Nichkhun tried to say as little and as generic as possible, and tried to turn the subject towards Wooyoung’s and Minjun’s songwriting with some success. They happily chatted, and ate ramen but a very uncomfortable knot started to form in Nichkhun’s stomach. Chansung didn’t meet his eyes, not even once and kept his gaze on the bowl in front of him. Losing to food for his maknae’s attention, wasn’t exactly new, but this time it felt different. Eventually Chansung excused himself, said he was tired, and went up to his room.

“Maybe we should get going too?” Wooyoung said, but still they kept talking so there was no way for Nichkhun to escape. For a long way they chatted, while the knot in his stomach started to get bigger and bigger. Chansung knew, right? He must know that this wasn’t real? That he was doing this for him, for them? But no matter how he tried to convince himself, this uncomfortable feeling wouldn’t go away.

Eventually, Minjun and Wooyoung left, but Junho kept on talking about his upcoming solo concert. Normally Nichkhun loved his dongsaeng’s energetic nature but now he really needed to talk to his maknae. Finally, he managed to excuse himself to his room, and waited impatiently behind the closed door, while Junho brushed his teeth and washed his face, for what seemed like an hour.

After Nichkhun heard Junho go into his room and close the door behind him, he waited for as long as he could without exploding, and then quietly stepped out to the hallway, his heart hammering away in his chest. When Junho was home, they normally kept to their own rooms, out of fear of waking their band mate up and getting caught, but now he needed to talk to Chansung, needed to make sure he was doing alright. Lightly, Khun knocked on his door, as quietly as possible not to wake up Junho, though he worried his maknae had already fallen asleep, it had been quite some time since he had gone to bed.

Before long, he heard some ruffling on the other side, and he held his breath until the door was opened up, and he was greeted with a very grumpy maknae.

“Are you OK?” he whispered, and was answered with a very angry stare. Gulping, Khun added quietly: “Can I come in?”

Without saying anything, Chansung opened the door up wider, and allowed him to come inside, closing the door behind him.

“You know this is fake right? Tiffany and me? That it’s only for the press? You are sure of that, right?”

For a moment, Chansung stared at him grumpily, before muttering: “Can I be?”

“Of Course you can!” Nichkhun replied as loudly as he dared, “We have been together for what, three years now? Have I ever given you any reason to doubt me?”

“No” his maknae answered, before looking away, “Not until now.”

“You’re being ridiculous, you know she’s with Taeyeon, you’ve always known that!”

“I also know that they recently broke up…” Chansung was staring at him accusingly.

“They are back together again, and we did that so they could stay that way, so we can stay together too… You know there are already rumors about us? The guys still think it’s ridiculous of course… But if the rumors get stronger, we are going to get caught… But with this, everyone is going to forget about it, I can hold your hand in public, hug you, we don’t need to be so careful, do you know how painful it is to hold back? I want to touch you all the time, you know that right?” Nichkhun grabbed Chansung’s hand, and felt a little lighter when he didn’t pull away.

“You should have told me. Can you imagine what it felt like, hearing the news?”

“I’m sorry, I was sure you would immediately understand, you knew I was meeting up with her.”

“Yes, I knew,” Chansung answered, but there was bitterness in his voice, Nichkhun did not recognize.

“A-Are you jealous of her?”

“Of course I’m jealous” his maknae said, pulling his hand away from his hyung’s, taking a step back.

“But… why?”

“Why?” Chansung looked at him angrily, “You meet with her all the time, you tell her stuff you don’t even tell me, and now everyone is talking about how good you look together, how amazingly you fit, that you are meant to be together. I can’t compete with that.”

“There is nothing to compete with, and why didn’t you tell me you felt this way?”

Now Chansung wouldn’t meet his eyes, and just stared at the floor, looking incredibly small for such a tall man: “I don’t want to be the kind of person who bans his boyfriend to have friends… I know she’s really nice, and important to you, and I’ve tried to like her, I really have… but I just can’t.”

Not able to stand seeing his lover this helpless, Nichkhun moved closer and pulled him into his arms, “You should have told me…”

“I didn’t want you to think I was a horrible person… It's not like I don't know I’m being unreasonable… But now you’re officially dating her… and it’s just too much… What if you like it? What if you see that dating a girl is so much easier? What if this is what you really want?” With his head resting on Nichkhun’s shoulder, Chansung put his big hands around his waist, hugging him tightly.

“Silly boy…” he muttered into his maknae’s hair.

“I’m not being silly.”

“I know… And I’m sorry, I should have told you, asked you… But there is absolutely nothing to worry about… Apart from the fact that Tiffany is madly in love with her girlfriend, I just… There is no way, I really don’t swing that way, and I have no intention of leaving you.”

For a long while they stood still, holding each other tightly. After a long while, Chansung quietly muttered:

…am I still your favorite?”

Completely shocked, Nichkhun pushed him up, so he could see his face, wondering if he had really meant that.

“How can you even ask me that?”

“...am I?”

Seeing how vulnerable his man was, Nichkhun gently his cheek.

“...you always will be my favorite Hwang,” and after a moment’s hesitation, he added: “…my favorite everything.”

The smile appearing in front of him was stunningly beautiful, and Chansung moved closer, grabbing his lips in an eager kiss, and like always managed to melt Khun’s insides into a puddle, make his knees so weak his legs barely managed to hold him up. Breaking the kiss, Chansung rested his forehead against Khun’s, so he could feel his hot breath on his lips.

“Hyung, I love you so damn much,”

“I do too, you know that right?”

“Mmh,” with a big smile Chansung nodded, “…but it’s still nice to hear sometimes…”

Nichkhun made a mental note to tell him more often.

“So are you OK now? Are we good?”

“We’re good.” With a big bright smile, Chansung grabbed his hyung’s hand, and pulled him towards the bed. The warmth in the maknae's eyes made it clear that he really would be alright, and in his heart Nichkhun knew that the two of them would make it.