"JiHyun come down and eat! Your father made dinner!"
"Ok mom! Be right there!" I closed my drawing pad and tucked my phone into my pocket before slowly slumping down the stairs.
"JiHyun, I made some salmon and kimchi," he yelled.
"Appa, I want ramen!" I yelled back. I wasn't in the mood for fancy food... I rarely ever am.
I got downstairs and sat at our table, I really wanted one of those cozy kotatsu tables that the Japanese used though, they'd be so warm and comfy. "Appa, Super Junior's making a comeback I think I might puke if I eat too much." 
"You have to eat a little at least or I'll be upset that my cooking went to waste," dad would cook often so I've eaten his food at least 10 times each and counting.
Either way I still ate some of the food, I couldn't complain because it was really good. I'd also been holding off asking my parents for any contact information of our relatives in South Korea. They were very strict and didn't like my dad marrying an American, it was 'a family thing' which was what my dad told me. Now was as good a time as ever though, both mom and dad seemed to be in good moods and recovered from me coming back late from California.
"Hey Appa, you know our relatives in Korea?"
"What about them?" His mood got a bit sour, but it wasn't terrible.
"You know how they send me things for my birthday and Christmas? Well I was wondering... Could I have their contact information? There're some specific things that I'd like to ask them for for my birthday, if that's alright?" I gulped down my spit silently as to not seem too nervous.
He set down his chopsticks and sighed. My heart pounded at the sight of his eyebrows furrowing and hearing him sigh over and over again.
"Appa~" I mumbled almost silently.
"JiHyun, just.... Don't contact them often ok?" He got up and took out a piece of paper from the locked drawer in our bookshelf.
"Really? Thank you so much! Saranghae Appa!" I stood up and hugged him after taking the contacting info. I felt my appetite skyrocket and began to eat a lot. I can't wait, I really hope they aren't mean enough to just deny my request right off the bat.
Just one day kimi to futari irerunara Just one day kimi to te o tsunagerunara~ Just one d-
"Hello?" It was an unknown number, I quickly answered my phone, but it was awkward talking at the dinner table.
"Yah! Pabo! You give him your number, but not me?" A man's voice in Korean.
"Um, I'm sorry, but who is this?" I was confused... Who was calling me?
"JiHyun-ah~" said the voice.
"J-J-Jin??" I was flabbergasted, Jin got my number?
"Who is it?" My mom asked me.
"It's a... A friend... From Kcon," I replied not knowing what else to say, it's one of the idols from Kcon? They'd definitely want to know details, but I wasn't about to tell them all of the events that had occurred. "I'm gonna step outside ok?" I left the table, put on my shoes at the door and went outside where the sun was still shining. It was a nice summer day. "Jin? Did Jungkook give you my number?" I started to walk away from the house, I was so excited, I got my relative's contact info and got a call from Jin all in the same day.
"Yeah I did, by the way, why did you only give that punk your number and not me too?" He sounded annoyed.
"I thought he'd share it with everyone..." I really did think he would've shared it with everyone, how selfish that he didn't. "Sorry."
"Aish, don't be sorry, it's ok, anyways... You know when the audition is right?"
"Umm.... It's uh..." As much as I was excited for the audition, I forgot when it actually was.
"September.... 15th," he sighed. "You really forgot?"
"Oh, yeah, I did, sorry," I laughed nervously.
"Hey Ji!" My friend from school waved at me from across the road.
"What's up Sarah!" I waved back and smiled.
"Nothing much, do you want to come over to my house?"
"Oh, hey, hold up!" I looked both ways before crossing the street to meet with Sarah. She also liked Kpop, but wasn't able to go to Kcon. I probably trusted her the most out of any of my friends.
"Who're you talking to?" Jin asked, like he HAD to know.
"My friend Sarah," I replied into the phone.
"Huh?" Sarah responded to her name.
"Oh, I'm talking to... My friend on the phone," I told her.
"Oh? Who is it? Is it a boy? Someone you met at Kcon? Oh I really wish I could've gone!" She asked a lot of questions sometimes, but it was good because I liked to answer her questions.
"Yeah, it's a friend I made at Kcon... I can hang up if you want?" I offered to her my full attention, but she turned it down.
"Nah, ooh, can I talk to them? They like Kpop right? Are they cute and nice like you are?"
I laughed, Sarah was such a nice person to me, when my parents would be too strict to me, Sarah would be my stress reliever. "They don't speak English, sorry.... I'll hang up in just a sec, let's go to your house. I'll text my dad after."
"Ok then, you finish your conversation." Sarah skipped while I walked, her short blonde pig tails bounced up and down with every step.
"Yah! Quit ignoring me!"
"Oh shush, I was talking to my best friend."
"Alright then... Did you figure out how you'd get to Korea? And where you'd be staying till auditions too?"
"Actually I'm working on that right now. How do you have time to call me?"
"I'm just about to go to sleep, all the other hyungs are on their electronics too, we've been working really hard on new songs. Aigoo, so tiring."
"If you're so tired then go to sleep pabo," I rolled my eyes, those boys worked so hard that I was surprised they got any free time, and if I succeeded in my auditions then neither would I.
"I will, but I wanted to hear your nice voice again. Maybe you'd sing me to sleep?"
"Hey..." I blushed a bit remembering the time I sang Just One Day in Japanese with him. "That's a weird request you know," Sarah stopped skipping and started walking next to me at a comfortable pace. "Jee, who asks someone to sing them to sleep other than a child?" I asked in English to myself.
"That person wants you to sing them to sleep? Ooh, do it! You have such a nice voice!" Sarah exclaimed, she always liked when I sang.
"Urgh...Arasseo," I replied to Jin, "what do you want me to sing?"
"Hmm.. How about Rain from our Dark and Wild album?"
"Really? Ok then, um... Let me think for a second." I didn't want to mess up the song, it would be so embarrassing. I stopped and remembered the lyrics and tune in my head. "Piga oneun jiteun saek seol geu wi e.... Jeo piga geuchyeo go in mul wi e bichyeojin~"
"Ahh, yeppeun!" Jin exclaimed, he seemed excited to hear me sing. "Ah! I have to go to sleep, Leader Mon is going to catch me! Gomawo! <3" and like that, he hung up.
"Well then..." I looked at my phone for a second and quickly texted my dad that I was with Sarah.
"Ji, you're so good at singing, you should really be an idol," Sarah laughed.
"Thanks haha," we got to her house quickly and went inside.
It always smelled like vanilla in her house, her parents were kind to me and her little brother was adorable. They were like my second family. We flung off our shoes at the front door and ran up to her room, she pulled out a large box that seemed to be shipped from an online store.
"Sangilchugahabnida! Sangilchugahabnida! Sangilchugahabnida~ Sangilchugahabnida!!" Sarah sang out Happy Birthday in Korean. Laughed and stuffed the large box into my arms.
"Oh wow, you're kind of late though haha, my birthday was in June," I smiled and accepted the gift humbly, Sarah always thought of me, she would've been the best sister ever.
"Oh come on, you know it takes time to ship things. I bought stuff that I'm so sure you'll like that you'll cry." She jumped up onto her bed and sat criss cross applesauce while I sat on the ground.
"I'm just joking with you," I laughed and found scissors to cut the tape on the box.
"Oh, I combined everything into that one box so it didn't take up so much room."
"Thank you," I ripped open the box and saw the most wonderful array of Kpop merch and albums I had ever seen. "Oh my god, I went through the whole box naming off artists as I saw them. "Double A, Super Junior, TVXQ!, Girl's Day, BTS, Boyfriend! Oh my god Sarah, thank you so much! You are the best in the world!" I jumped up and hugged her tightly.
"Hey, look at some of your albums."
"Huh?" I dropped back down a examined my albums to find that 3 out of the 4 were signed. Super Junior, BTS, and TVXQ!. Those must've been so expensive. I got teary eyed with happiness. "Sarah..." I clutched the albums against my chest, "you're so kind. This is the best birthday gift ever."
"It's not much..." She scratched her next in embarrassment.
"These must've costed a fortune though, next time, you have to come to Kcon with me. I'll pay for your ticket too, my gift to you for your birthday ok?"
"Oh you don't have to," she covered her face with her hands and I laughed.
"I'm going to whether you like it or not." I put the stuff back in the box and laid on the floor. It was such a stressful day today up until now. I kept contemplating whether or not to ask my dad for the information that I was so certain I wasn't going to recieve. "Sarah, I'm planning to go to South Korea soon," I wanted to tell at least one person.
"Really? How do you plan on doing that? How will you get your parents to agree?"
"I want to try to see if my relatives in Korea will let me stay with them during that time," I took out and held my phone in my hands against my stomach.
"Didn't you say you weren't close to your relatives in Korea?"
"Well yeah, but they still send me things for Christmas and my birthday, so at least they acknowledge my existence." I turned my head towards her, "can you please pray for me to have good luck with this?"
"Of course, you'll need all the luck you can get."
"Thanks," honestly, I'd need luck to get me to Korea first and then even more just to succeed with my auditions.
I checked the time on my phone, it was already 9:43pm? I couldn't believe it got so late so quickly, the sun was literally just out. "Looks like I've got to get going." I got up and hugged Sarah good bye. "Thanks again, you're so thoughtful." I picked up the box and we left the room.
"No problem, good luck Ji! I'll be praying for you!"
And with that, I left Sarah's house. It was pretty dark though thankfully the street lights were bright, I still felt queasy from the silence though. I hurried back to my house and entered in sleepy and filled with anticipation. I'd have to stay up late to contact my relatives at a good time. The wait began once the lights were turned off and I entered my room.
. . . 
I rubbed my eyes open as I felt the vibration from the alarm on my cellphone on my head. It was 5am, but in Korea it was 7am tomorrow. I opened my phone and typed in the phone number for my grandfather in Korea. I remember talking to him once.... ONCE. I was so nervous, what would his personality be like? Would he be accepting or not? I was restless as the ringer rang over and over again. I thought no one was going to pick up until I heard the small voice of a young boy.
"Annyeonghasaeyo?" The voice was sleepy and small, this wasn't my grandfather, but it was a step, as well as another relative I would have to learn about.
"Ah, yes, annyeonghasaeyo, I'm looking for Go JangShi, is he available?"
"Grandpa! Some girl's asking for you!" The kid raised his voice loudly and it hurt my ear a bit.
There was the sound of the phone being passed around till I heard the deep voice of an old man. "Hello? Who is calling me?"
I couldn't tell the mood of this man yet, but I hoped it wasn't bad, "um hello, my name is JiHyun.. Um, Go JiHyun. You... You send me gifts for Christmas and my birthday." I was so nervous, I gulped. "I'm your granddaughter... I live in America..." I wasn't sure if he knew who I was or not... There was no reply.
"....hm.. Go JiHyun?" There was a pause and I felt a pit at the bottom of my stomach. "I'm surprised your father gave you our contact information."
I sighed with relief, he seemed kind. I was so worried he would just brush me off like dust on a countertop. "I caught him in a good mood luckily."
"I have never heard your voice child, you seem like such a virtuous girl."
"Ah, virtuous?"
"What are you calling for? Has something happened?"
"Oh, um... No, the thing is..." I took a deep breath in and exhaled, ready to explain everything. "I would like to come to Korea for a while, and I would like to stay there under your care."
"You want to come to Korea?"
"Yes sir."
"You're crazy, do you know what the other family members think of you?"
"I- I don't sir, did I do something wrong?" Was there some kind of family feud? Is that why Appa told me not to contact them often?
"You're father married an American,"
"What does that have to do with anything?" I cut him off, it was my grandfather, but I didn't like having my nation insulted.
"Because he married an American, he showed that he did not care about his family. He didn't abide by tradition, he lost our trust and pushed us away."
"But why couldn't you guys just accept him? He's your son right?"
"If you are betrayed, it doesn't matter if that person is your son, you can no longer trust them. They chose someone they barely know over you."
"What about me?" Was I hated because of this too?
There was some silence before he answered, "... It is unfortunate that you had to be born that way, but we recognize that it wasn't truly your fault-"
"Is it a problem for me to stay with you then?" Learning about the situation with my relatives was interesting, but I called for a reason, and I wanted an answer.
"It could be..." My heart sank with those words. "But, as you are curious of us, we are also curious of you."
"So you would let me stay?" My hopes were lifted higher than the clouds.
"Yes, but would your parents allow it?"
My parents... Of course they wouldn't allow it. What was I supposed to say?
"Of course your parents wouldn't allow it, are you willing to risk their trust?" He sounded so serious and it made me feel strange.
Willing to risk their trust? They did trust me with a lot of things as strict as they were, but if I was successful... I think they might forgive me. "Have you heard the phrase 'better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission'?"
"So that's your answer... Alright, let us discuss more of your trip that would test their trust in you."
For 2 whole hours we discussed flights, what to pack, when and how long I would be there, and what relatives I should stay the farthest away from.
After we were done and I had written down the address to the house. I set down my phone and fell back onto my bed. I only slept for about 4 hours, I had rings under my eyes and it felt gross. But, gross feelings or not, I had planned my secret trip to South Korea and would begin preparing right after.... I... Woke up... Again...
Just one day kimi to futari irerunara Just one day kimi to te o tsunagerunara~ Just one day kimi to futari irerunara Just one day~ kimi to futari irerunara (do it do it do i-
"Ne?" I grumbled. Who the hell's calling me so early?
"Why aren't you answering my texts or my calls?"
"What? Who the hell is this? Why are you calling me so early in the morning?" I'm grumpy when I don't get enough sleep.
"Yah, don't call that guy got it?"
"What the..." I mumbled and looked at my phone screen, it was a selfie of me and Jungkook. "Ah, Jungkook?"
"Yeah, it's me, don't call that guy anymore got it?"
"What guy?"
"Do you have amnesia? Jin!"
"As a matter of fact, he called me..." I was still sleepy, but I was surprised that I didn't recognize Jungkook's voice at first.
"You must be asleep still, even though I checked and it's like noon over there. Whatever, just don't call him all the time ok? See ya," he hung up.
"Ugh... Why's everyone calling me?" I let my phone fall to the ground and closed my eyes again. 'It's better to pack a little everyday so they don't suspect much, this will be a big trip for you.' I bolted up with a start, that's right, I should start getting ready so that I'm prepared. It was a nerve racking mission, especially when it included going against my parents, but if I didn't do something, I might never get this chance for the rest of my life.
I didn't bother to switch out of my pajamas and went down the stairs to eat. Breakfast food, lunch food, it didn't matter.... I needed sustenance.
"Good afternoon Hyun Hyun," hyun hyun? What? My dad was dressed in a suit and walked through the door. He must've gotten a bit of time off from work to come home for a minute.
"What's up with guys and giving me nicknames?" I opened the cupboards and took out fruity pebbles. I was in a fruity pebbles kind of mood.
"People give you nicknames as well? I didn't think anyone but us would," he chuckled and sat down at our kitchen table. "What kinds?"
"Huh? What kinds of what?" I grumbled, it was too early for me to be super sharp.
"Nicknames," he opened his briefcase and took out papers he had to fill out and look through. Somehow every morning he managed to slick his ridiculous hair back and keep it in one place as well as wearing one of the straightest and sharpest suits I'd ever seen. He set his glasses on the table and he rubbed his eyes, normal behavior of my father. He was a lawyer for criminal justice and I was surprised he kept his face from drooping every night.
"Oh, uh... JiHyun-ah, Ji, JiHunnie..." That was weird, I don't talk to my dad about things like that... Cutesy things.
"How cute," he shuffled through his papers and set different piles into different folders while I poured my bowl of fruity pebbles.
"Eh... Thanks?" I finished, put the cereal away and sat across from my dad. It almost reached awkward silence status until he broke it.
"So, what did you talk to your relatives about?"
I almost choked on my cereal, so serious, I remembered the respect and fear I had towards my father. "Um... There was... Uh, we talked about..." What would I say we talked about? Oh yeah, gifts, "there are these really uh, rare albums that you can't buy online... And I asked them if they could try to find them." Would he believe me.?
"Hm... Did they agree?"
"Yes, they did..." If this was an anime I would've been sweating everywhere.
"Alright, like I said before, don't call them often," he collected his things and started to leave again. "I've got a trial today, nice to see you." He slipped on his shoes and left.
A small graze from the devil's snake himself... At least that's what it felt like. Dad wasn't a terrible person, but he gave off the wrong impression and scared probably anyone who wasn't a business person. Most likely the reason my mom isn't ever scared of him.
Though it was only the afternoon, there was a lot to do today and for the next 2 weeks, time would fly and I'd have to be sneaky. I called Sarah and explained to her my plan.