“You’re good for nothing”

He silent.

“How dare you insulting me like that?”

Still silent.

“I hate you!”

He still says nothing. Meanwhile Nana was already in a peak of bursting out loud; she really did, but still doing a good job in holding her tears. Damn that tears, why bother to threaten her to fall down, to touch her cheeks in time like that. She did not need it! Though, she wondered about the hurting feeling, that attacking her out of the blue, as the heart beating was not enough, the more she denied it, the more it attacking her, causing her to get confused easily, leaving her breathless as well. She wished that she never encounters him again, after the whole things happened, she wished that! But they were like meant to be, the more she avoided, the more he attached to her- like he suddenly come to the workshop just to say his apologize-, even though she could not see his silhouette, but her mind always wandering along, thinking about him and she even promised herself to not wondering about him after he was insulting her.

“Am I looking that bad? Am I looking like I’ve tons of drugs inside my body? Am I looking like I’m over men? Tell me; am I that bad in your eyes? Why? Because, I freaking let you go without punch your pretty face when you’re freaking kiss me before. Good job, mister. You’re assuming things which I can’t even try to say that I’m not a woman like that. Though your first impression on me is like I’m …”

“Don’t say that. Please don’t say that. I’m sorry to say something like that; even I can’t bring my mouth to say it again,” He said then, sounding like he was begging for her to stop mentioning those things but, but she could not help it as his words kept lingering in her mind, causing her to spill it one by one. She gulped her lumps in when he cupped her face, urging her to look at him and she looked up then, straightly met with his soothing eyes and guilty smile. “You’re nothing like I said. I’m sorry, I just not thinking when I want to speak and I… shouldn’t say it, I know it’s like a straight insult to you but, but I find out really late, so which is why I’m here, to meet with you.” She pouted and she did not know why, and it was new to show it for a stranger, for her.

She jerked up when he pulled her for a hug. She did not know his intention for it, either he liked to being touchy touchy, he was being flirty or he was a ert kind of person who appear with a pretty face like him. All of that was kind of weird in her thought, and she should wrestle to get out from the hug but the warmness prevented her from doing so, so she stayed, longer until she had nothing left inside her, the hurt feeling, the anger faded away like that, changes it to the warmness and comfort. She should get her head straight but she could not, in fact she liked the way he treated her and the way he kept asking for forgiveness, and it makes her knees went weak. Crap!

“We’re not even in relationship. You shouldn’t treat me like this and we’re not even in a sweet fighting like others, so you shouldn’t come here, just for forgiveness. Can we, please pretend that we’re not meet before and can we forget everything and can you please, don’t show up in front of me and I promise you, to stay away from you, or to hide myself if we meet by coincident.” She said then after a couple of minutes of silent, while wrestled to pull away from the hug and she did it. Looking at him, she sighed again, realized that the more they met, the more she could not hold her feeling anymore, her heart was kept beating and she was suffocating upon it. There she knew that she had a thing for him, so she had to forget about that thing for sake of her heart. She could not get hurt again, once it was really hurt and she cried for months for it and twice, if, if she did not prevent her feeling, she could do anything aside from crying and it might be worse.

“I…”

“It’s not your fault to begin with and whatever you did to me, you’re forgiven. Just don’t come here, at my workplace just to seek for forgiveness, no, just don’t come here at all. Don’t show up here or…” She paused, semi irritated with herself as she lets her wall broken easily, as she was wavering towards him though she did not know him at all, instead of his name, address, workplace, his profession, his attitude, that’s it, fine, she admits that she knew him a lot. As someone who was just meets, she sure knows a lot of things about him, though it was a coincidence. Whatever she knew, it was not a sign that she was a stalker, no, she never bother to know about him, but like she said, the more she avoids, the more she gets it, like if she did not encounter that information by chance, there must be someone who would tell her that, for example, Hanbyul or even his sister. “Just let it go. For your sister, you’ve a right to choose her future and I admit that, my life is different from hers or even yours. I’ve bad things related to me even though I’m not doing that… So, you can go~”

“Ah! What should I do? I’m still waiting to get tons of lecturing about manner though. Did I’ve to leave and did you plan to get me hanging like that, without doing anything you just said just now. Remember, teach about manner thingy?” He said as he looked down, his height was so perfect and it makes her feel small across him though she is tall as well and the height differences makes Nana hates it more, because she could tell that when he always looked down, with the so called calmness plastered all over his face, she fell for him more. Just why he had to be more attractive when he kept doing that? She shook the thought off then, getting impatient with her little wavering self, she should not and she won’t let herself to be in a man grasp