Naeun POV

Flashback to 5 years.

When i heard that Taemin was going to be my partner on WGM i couldn't be any happier. Who couldn't be happy if the cute maknae of SHINee was going to be their husband. Even the members in my group were all jealous. It was pretty akward after our first meet up but it started getting better as time progressed. Everything was pretty much going on well. I liked how when we were intervied he will say nice things about me or he went to a show and they asked about me and he will always say the nicest things about me. I loved hearing them.

....... I don't know when it started... When we made eye contact, my heart will flutter or the frequent missed heart beats when he is close to me. I knew i wasn't supposed to this because it was just a show and that if i let my feelings go, i will be the only one ending up hurt. He was so nice and caring when the camera's were rolling but after he goes not realizing my existence. He hardly said anything to me until we were filming so it always made things between us akward. I understood that he was a male idol and that he didn't wanna get too close so his fans wouldn't be mad. I always made excuses for his behavior. Whenever we met at music programs, he always ignored me or he will just say hi, bow and leave.

Our season wasn't supposed to end when it ended. SHINee had an around the world tour so he wouldn't be available for filming. When i i heard this, a sudden rush of sadness welcomed me. As soon as i got home, my members knew that it had something to do with him. As they were comforting me, i couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I cried my heart out that night. But you've gotta survive so i woke up the next morning bright and happy like nothing ever happened or that he even existed. We had a schedule to go to Music bank and Inkigayo to film for our latest released single. Everything went fine. We came back home and i decide to watch some entertainment news. And low and behold Taemin was on the news. All the couple things we got together that we had, he wasn't having them anymore. From the ring we wore on our fore finger to the phone case....he wasn't wearing them anymore. When i saw this, i was just starring at the tv in a daze. I was just numb, i couldn't feel anything around me. 

Then and there i decided to get rid of everything that reminded me of him because if he was getting rid of me, why not get rid of him too. Months after that incident, i decide to not add him to the list of things i worried about, i told myself that i was better of not loving than having a one sided kind of relationship. It had been six months until i heard news about him. That paparazzi took pictures of him celebrating his birthday with his firends and i saw how happy he was..why couldn't i be happy like he was?

From then on i decide to live a happy life. I started with my appearance. I didn'twant people to think that  i was cute, i wanted them to say that i was hot  so  I started working out and weight lifting. I wanted to have a fit body.. a body i was going to be happy with. I was able to turn all my baby fat into muscle. So after that my members and i had a contract to be the covergirls for Ceci magazine. I was able to show skin without thinking of how my body was and how i was not happy with it. I was able to make it to the sports section and  they took photos of me working out and was able to show my fit body. When the magazine was issued, people went crazy of how all of as looked amazing and how in a short time i was able to transfer my body from a cute girly girl to a hot woman. But at the end of the day when i went to bed, i thought was i happy...?

No....

A/N: Hii guys this is my first time writing a fanfic so forgive me if it but i promise it will get better. Thanks to all those who subscribed. Comment to let me know what you think.