I don't think you know how I feel.
I don't think you realize how much pain I am in.
To see you flirting with everyone else kills me.
It makes me think that you don't love me.

But you don't know how that feels.
Everyone loves you, you don't know what it's like to be looked down on.
And when everyone else ignored my existence, you said hey.
And I slowly fell for you.

On stage, you danced with me, picked at me, teased me.  I loved it.
I love being the center of your attention.
I loved the fact that I was the only one you went to for fun and everything else.
Just like we were soulmates.

But now, you ignore me.
With the GD&TOP album, you don't have time for me.
Or Bigbang in general.
You have made it where you and hyung are alone all the time.

And I hate that.
I wish you had never started talking to me.
Then I wouldn't be crying everytime I saw promotions for something that didn't even involve me.
For the one that I loved but probably didn't love me.

I lay in my bed thinking about all the ways he could disappear.
He could wither away like a flower who had been starved of it's water.
Decompose and fertilize other flowers that would grow wildly, replacing his meaning and existence.
Or maybe he would corrode like silver.
Disintegrating into powder that blew away in the wind to never return.
I liked that idea.

But in reality, I would still be here cryi