Has it been a month now? It feels as if a day has passed since then. I keep thinking about the past. I keep reminding, constantly reminding myself of that scene that keeps on playing in my head. It's not like I want to see that...but my heart keeps beating for him. I'm exhausted of stress. My brain has been asking me for sleep. Lately, I have been more coffee dependent. I have been staying up to try to forget him as well as practicing my lines for an upcoming act. Or rather practicing to become a supporting actor.   My dreams of being an actor might differ with my personality, but dreams are dreams. Will I become that famous actress everyone will admired? Will I find someone new?   These days, work has been becoming quite sparse. I used to go to auditions with Jonghyun beside me, cheering me on. Now, I don't seem to carry that same of confidence with me. Usually when he's with me, he's the supporter of my roles. I do better than I'm expected with him. But, everything I do seems to be sluggish or out of sync. My last audition lasted two minutes with the judges scoffing at my stumbling and unstable acting. I bit my lip from crying because failing wasn't what I was used to and I left that audition with the last bit of energy I had.   Now, I stay cooped up in my small apartment. I stay in the darkness. I do what everyone needs to survive: eat, sleep, and hygiene. I do nothing else. I try once and a while to watch dramas to observe their acting, but acting has been on a pause for me.   What day was it now? Tuesday? My alarm woke me up again, so I hit the snooze button to quiet it down. It was the same thing everyday yet I wasn't used to it. Not just yet. I must've let the blinds up again, the ray of light hit my face making me hide between the pillows.   The light burns my eyes lately. It was a symbol of hope, but now it’s just a burden in my daily life.   I can’t speak or open my eyes. The memories seem to blur my vision. Have I been crying again? So stupid of me, I miss him.   Everyday, since he walked out that door, I’ve been regretting letting him. I have been missing him. He was my half, the one I wanted to be with. It was all gone, because of me. He said he realized that he needed me more than ever. Could I believe that? Why didn’t I believe that? He probably said that to other girls, right? To think, I was about to declare him as my first love. Sighing to myself, I stayed in bed. I cannot be that strong girl, instead I’m that weak one that can’t control her feelings. The ones in the Korean Dramas. I watch them everyday lately, how come I'm turning into those girls.What to do?   Recently, I have been waiting by the phone, in case he calls or texts me. But he doesn’t. In case, he needs me. But he won’t. He has Bora, his roommate or shall I saw girl number six. My memory goes back that night of shock, confusion, and losing my loved one. I was new to love… he was my first love.   Lately, I have been talking to my sister, Yuri, about my problems. She only tells me one phrase: Give up on him. But easy said but done. I can’t do that. Three years together can’t evaporate that quick. I need time…. Will time fix everything? She listens to my tears, my memories, everything I held in together that night. My sister is the best at listening, but her advice could need a little work. In her life, there is not time for love, only work. She’s a lawyer, loving to work and earning money.   “Yoona.”, She called out to me with her so-called comforting voice. She was never big on me falling in love with Jonghyun, since she never had a reason to love anyone but work.   Between my tears, I crack a smile through the phone. ‘’Yeah?” Hearing her voice was amazing to me, since I had not seen her for a while. It's been too long.   “Jonghyun is a jerk. Don’t love jerks, learn to forget them. Soon after they will come chasing after you, but you won’t have a reason to go back to him.”, She lectured me, hearing my sorrow cries.   “But… he was perfect. He loved me.”, My voiced cracked.   “There is a saying: There are other fishes in the sea. The minute he broke your heart, he was no longer perfect. You’ll find someone who’s way better than him, with a bigger heart and care for you.”   I sniffed my tears up,”You think so?” Although Yuri hasn’t been in love, her pep talks were amazing. She usually took these from television shows, books, basically she researches a lot since she’s a lawyer. I’m glad to have her, sometimes.   Then, she would say her goodbye sin