I waited patiently in my room for Jackson. I sat at the edge of my bed and faced the wall, listening to the fan rotate above me. "What am I even doing? Why did I get so mad at him? I know he cares about me; And I know he knows I care about him. So why do I feel so distant from him? God...should I even talk to him? Or do ignore him like he ignored me?" these thoughts filled my mind and had no means of escaping. I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to relax. Suddenly, I heard a sound at my door that sounded like someone was trying to come in; I knew for sure it was Jackson. Then I heard a knock. "Bambam," Jackson said softly. At that moment my heart stopped. In the morning I had overheard the conversation between the members and knew exactly what had happened to Jackson. "Bam. Hey open the door please," He continued knocking on the door.

I slightly opened the door and looked at his face through the small crack. "What do you want?" I said in a monotone voice. "You know what I want," Jackson's eyes were wide and attentive. Jackson suddenly leaned in for a kiss. I immediately put out my hand and moved his face away from mine. I knew what I had to do. "Wha- Bambam! I thought this is what you wanted?!" Jackson said with his eyes still focused on mine. "Well you thought wrong. I slept late and decided I'd quickly get ready and go to the studio with you." "Yeah exactly. I thought....we were gonna-," his eyebrows began to move inward. "Thought we were going to...what?" my facial expression did not change. Jackson let out a big sigh and his face grew blank. "I...I don't know. I'm sorry." the brown haired boy looked at me once more and then looked at the floor. "Um, well we should be leaving soon so just make sure to hurry up okay? Sorry I disturbed you," Jackson shut my door and then dissapeared. My heart dropped to the floor as I walked toward the closet. I felt my throat start to swell up and I fought back the tears as quickly got dressed. Jackson really did love me. 

At 9:17 Jackson and I headed to the studio. The ride there was extremely quiet and anyone would be able to tell that there was tension between him and I. Jackson was on his phone and so was I; we both ignored each other and did everything we could to avoid any conversation. Finally, we arrived at the studio and walked into the building together. "Jackson, the hyungs can't know that-" "I know Bambam, we just need to do what we usually do and pretend like nothing happend okay? I'll joke around with you like always but you have to play along too you know...," Jackson looked at me with stress in his eyes. "I know. Like always," I sighed.

We continued to walk up the stairs in silence but as we walked up, many JYP members looked at us strangely. Suddenly, just as we entered the studio we both saw the rest of the members sitting on the floor. "Hey what's going on??" Jackson said confusingly. As soon as he opened his mouth Jaebum and Yugyeom ran up to the both of us. Yugyeom pushed me with extreme force into the wall and as soon as he did I out completely.