The smell of hangs heavy in the air and on the bed, two males pant deeply with a dazed smile on their faces, still wrapped up in the afterglow of their . Their hair sticks to their sweaty face and one of them brushes the locks off the smaller male’s forehead before pulling him closer to his body and wrapping the tiny frame with his arms.

“That. Was. Amazing.” Jongdae breathes out, sneaking a kiss on Minseok’s closed eyelid.

“We should try playing with ice cubes next time.” Jongdae pulls back a little and raises his eyebrow at the tiny one snuggled in his embrace. “Like I said, I experimented a lot when I was in university. You should be glad, aren’t you?”

I’m very glad, Jongdae silently replies and he shows his appreciation by brushing his fingers on the suppleness of Minseok’s thighs, making the other gasps and shivers. ‘Tonight.” He whispers sensuously, his alluring breath brushing against the sensitive skin of the other’s ear. 

Minseok’s lips curl into a tantalizing smile and his eyes lights up with a glint of excitement. “Okay but you’re cooking dinner tonight.”

“Hmm fattening you up before I eat you up whole.”

A burst of giggles escapes Minseok’s lips and he hits Jongdae’s arm playfully. “That actually sounds gross and it’s probably going to keep me off the mood for tonight.”

Jongdae feigns a gasp and a look of mock-horror crosses his face. “No.”

A comfortable silence envelops them and Jongdae draws tiny circles on Minseok’s hipbone with his thumb, loving the way the smaller’s skin feels under his fingers. He loves touching Minseok, loves making the other moan and breaking the smaller into a trembling mess on the sheets but there’s so much more he wants. “Let’s go on a date tomorrow.”

“… Hmm.” A non-committal reply from the other is all he gets and that’s a sign that they are delving into territories that Minseok isn’t comfortable with but Jongdae pushes on, knowing that this will be good for the both of them.

“I mean all we’ve done is stay home, watch TV, eat, cuddle and have lot’s of amazing all over the house. And while I love all of these, I also want to bring you out on cheesy dates and do all the things that couples do like dinners, movies, amusement parks, picnics, running through the rain with you…”

Minseok laughs at how ridiculous Jongdae words are because they are ridiculous and silly, to him. “You can stop now. I get your point.” 

But he brushes Jongdae’s cheek gently, gazing into the eyes that are so full of love and eagerness that he can’t bear to let the other down. “Okay, let’s go on a date. But before that, there’s a place I want to go tomorrow.”

“Namsan Tower? Really Minseok, really?” 

“There’s just something important I have to do. I’ll be back soon!”

Thousands of locks fill the railings around the place and Minseok glances at the couples milling around, most of them placing their couple locks in areas that haven’t already been taken up, such areas getting rarer with each passing day. Blissful smiles fill up their faces and he sees the happiness radiating from them at this moment. It doesn’t matter if half the couples wouldn’t last till the end, what matters is that they are in love with each other at this point of time, winding their fingers tightly and taking synchronized steps together.

He slowly takes out the metal bracelet, the same one that Jongdae has unlocked not too long ago. 

“Hey Luhan, I know that this is your way of telling me to stop waiting for someone who will never appear again. Thank you for the love you have given me and I will always lock up the memories that we share in my heart.”

The metal bracelet is placed and clasped shut around the tiny wire of the railings, a last kiss left by Minseok before he gets up and leaves, his heart finally free and light.

Dear Luhan, 

How time flies, it has already been a year since you left us.

It’s also been a few months since I’ve sent you an email and I just want you to know that you don’t have to worry about me because I’ve been good and happy with Jongdae.

There are times when I still expect to see your face, still waiting for your kiss before I remember that the one beside me now is Jongdae and not you. But such moments are getting rare these days and he treats me really well, pampering and loving me the way you used to.

Did Joonmyun tell you that he has recently been promoted to captaincy? I know that you will be extremely happy and proud of him. And Yixing finally said yes to Yifan’s marriage proposal (they say that third time’s the charm but for Yifan, it was the seventh time). I wish you are here to give Yifan a hard time before giving your best friend’s hand in marriage to him.

I really miss you.

Love, 
Minseok

“Hi, this is Minseok and if you are hearing this, it means that I’m too busy- HAVING WITH ME- OH MY GOD JONGDAE, SHUT UP. As I was saying, I can’t take your call right now so please leave a message after this- Minseok, come back to bed. It’s too cold without you- beep. Thank you.”

“… Erm ahem, Mr. Kim Minseok? This is Park Chanyeol and I’m a lawyer at Jung & Partners. I have been the one who has been holding on to Mr. Luhan’s will and I have been instructed to contact you a year after his death, as according to his wishes. Will you mind giving me a call whenever you are free? Thank you for your kind attention and I look forward to hearing from you soon.”

Dear Minnie my honey sweet apple-pie boo!

So I’m here at this party right now and one of the games was to pretend that I only have an hour before my death and I have to write a letter to just one person. Even though Yixing and Joonmyun are my best friends and I would love to write to them but with only an hour and one last letter, I know I have to write to you because you, you’re the sun to my universe, the maple syrup to my pancakes and the butter to my bun.

I just want you to know how happy I am that you’re in my life and how blessed I am to be able to wake up to your beautiful baozi face every day, even though I have probably said this a thousand times and you are probably sick of me already. Meeting you is my destiny and for once, I am glad for it because the minute I laid my eyes on you, I fell so hard in love and my feelings for you have never changed.

When I think about dying, what hurts me more than the thought of not being able to hug and kiss you, is imagining you crying and it really hurts because I never wanted you to cry over me. You should be happy and smiling, even if the person beside you is no longer me. I hope that you will be able to meet someone who loves you more than I do (it’s not possible though but we can always hope), who will hold you whenever you are afraid and who will sing you to sleep whenever you are tossing and turning in bed.

(Of course I hope that you will think of me once in a while but only once in a while; I’m not that greedy.)

You once told me that you love gazing at the city lights and the stars at night because with them around, you feel that darkness isn’t as scary as it seems. I will be enclosing a key with this letter and it will lead you to a place where the lights will never stop shining for you. I hope that whenever you feel that there’s only darkness in your path, you will always remember that my heart will always be there to light your way home.

I sound drunk but I’m really not.

Okay, maybe just a little tipsy. Just a little.

From the one who loves you to the ends of the universe and back,
Luhan

The letter crumples in Minseok’s tiny hand as he weeps, sinking down unto the floor.

The colorful lights surrounding him tell him that Luhan kept his promise, the lights in this place continues to shine for him even though he has no idea they existed.

He weeps not because he misses Luhan but because he finally realizes something, the irrefutable truth of it crushing his tiny heart.

Dear Jongdae,

I’m sorry that I left without saying a word but I was afraid that if I look into your eyes and sink into your embrace again, I wouldn’t be able to turn away.

And I have to because I finally realized something and it breaks my heart, knowing that I haven’t been fair to you.

Thank you for loving me whole-heartedly, even when you know full well that I only have a few pieces of my heart left to love you back, the rest of them taken away by Luhan. Thank you for knowing all this and still trying to heal my heart.

I love you too but not in the same way and I’m sorry. There are too many memories I shared with Luhan embedded in you and I keep seeing him in the way you talk and walk, in the way you kiss and hold me. Sometimes when I’m with you, I have to bite down my tongue before I blurt out his name in front of you.

One day, I will learn to love you without placing a part of Luhan on you but now is not the time. I jumped straight into our relationship so soon after his death that I never got the chance to feel and see the world without his influence, without him appearing in my thoughts. This is why I need to get away to experience the wonderful world on my own, seeing it with my own two eyes and understanding it in my own terms and definitions.

Because I need to be whole first, to fix myself before I can learn to love you as someone I choose to love, and not just as a shadow of Luhan.

Beside this letter is a tape and inside is a demo for a song I started composing when I was with Luhan. For a while, I was not able to work on it after his death but you, you enabled me to start again because I felt so loved and happy. I was happy; please believe me when I say that you make me feel so cherished and secure when I’m with you.

I have called Yifan already and he will be on his way to force you into singing again. I expect that Baekhyun will be with him too because we both know that they fought the hardest for you and they are still fighting for you. Please don’t make their hardest battle be against you.

You deserve to be on the stage because you shine the brightest on it. Don’t let the past hold you back because who knows, this time round, you will shine so brightly and you will be able to lead me home again.

I wish you all the best and all the happiness from the bottom of my heart.

Once again, I’m sorry and I wish that I was able to love you in the way you deserve, right from the start.

Love, 
Minseok

Dear Minseok-hyung,

How have you been! It’s really nice to see all the pictures you have taken and thank you for them, they are so beautiful! Though it will be nice if you can send only a few at a time because Jongin insists in framing all of them up and I really can’t say no to him, you know? I’m afraid that we are running out of wall space ^^;

Anyway, Jongin has been promoted to Senior First Officer, I’m so proud of my baby! We are holding a small party for him and we hope that you will come for it! 

I met up with Jongdae a few times over the past six months. Only a few times because he’s busy preparing for his comeback and he says that the company is extremely strict on him. He’s been asking about you but I don’t really know what to tell him without your permission. 

We all miss you and we hope you will come back soon!

Love, 
Joonmyun (and Jongin)

“Chen, your new song “Daylight” is topping the charts within a day of its release! How do you feel about it?”

“Of course I’m really surprised and happy that people love the song. I can only say that it’s a huge encouragement to my company and myself, knowing that people are giving lot’s of love and support for my comeback.”

“Can you tell us more about the song?”

“The song is about the feeling you have when you finally meet someone who makes you so happy and loved that you feel extremely blessed to be able to wake up next to them every morning, as daylight slowly streams through the windows.”

“Aww that’s really sweet!”

“Yes, and the melody of the song is very fitting for the lyrics. The beats are light-hearted, it’s like the skip in your steps as you go to meet the special someone.”

“I heard that other than it being your comeback song, it also holds a special meaning for you?”

“… The song was composed by a friend, someone who wanted me to step back on the stage again and even though he doesn’t know, it is him who gave me the courage to take that leap of faith again. … He’s someone very special to me.”

Dear Minseok-hyung,

Which part of the world are you in now?! It’s been so hard to contact you and we only hope that there is Internet access wherever you are right now because this is important and this has to get to you before it’s too late.

I proposed to Jongin last week and he said yes! Up till now, I still can’t believe that he said yes but we are getting married next month. It’s just a small ceremony with lunch reception after that. Jongin’s parents still doesn’t approve of us and we want to keep everything small for now.

Jongin says that he is never going to forgive you if you don’t turn up at our wedding and I agree with him. YOU HAVE TO TURN UP!!! I DON’T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO WALK ALL THE WAY BACK TO SEOUL.

Jongdae is still asking about you and I don’t really know what happened between the two of you but I can see that he still cares a lot for you so please talk to him when you get back, okay?

Love,
Joonmyun and NiNi

Dear Luhan, 

It’s been a year since I left, since I last saw Yixing, Joonmyun and Jongin. 

And Jongdae.

I think it’s time that I head back home. Do you? You said that there will always be someone who shines brightly enough to lead me back home and I think I have finally found the one.

Love,
Minseok

Minseok looks around the hangar, his hand slowly gliding over the aircraft that used to belong to Luhan. It no longer does but he still feels the surging of the memories, memories of the other flying them up in the aircraft as he stares, too marveled by the vastness of the sky.

“Minseok?”

He smiles because he recognizes the voice.

Jondae's comeback song -> 天光 by Pakho Chau

I'm sorry I totally forgot that I haven't posted the last part up! And yes, this is where the fic ends because my recipient for the exchange requested for an ambiguous ending. But I might write a following chapter because I can't leave Xiuchen hanging :( You guys should let me know what you think about it and I'll see how I can fit in a nice ending. 

Thanks for the nice comments and to all the subscribers, especially those who up-voted this :)