“Minseok-hyung, finally! Where were you last night? I tried calling you but your phone was off? Did something happen?”

“Sorry … I went to bed early last night and didn’t even notice that my phone’s battery was flat.”

“Are you okay? You sound really tired.”

“… I’m fine, I just need some rest. So I read from your text that the funeral home wants us to pick an outfit for Luhan?”

“Yeah, they were asking whether we can send the outfit down today so that they can dress him for the memorial service. Do you want me to come and help you pick out the outfit? But I can only come down much later because Jongin is still having a fever-”

“Hey, it’s fine. I can do it. We should dress him in his captain uniform, right? It is the best way to say goodbye … I’ll send it to Jongdae- I mean to the funeral home later in the afternoon.”

“Are you sure? If you’re really uncomfortable with doing it, I can come down-”

“Kim Joonmyun, your only job today is to nurse my little NiNi back to health. And no till he is fully well!”

“Y-Yah hyung!”

“The last time this happened, Luhan had to fly continuously for five days because the two of you were sick for two weeks. Don’t repeat your terrible life choices.”

“You’re terrible for mentioning this now.”

“Whatever. I got to go now so that I can send the uniform over to the funeral home before they close for the day.”

“Okay hyung, see you tomorrow!”

The minute Minseok hangs up, he cradles his throbbing head in his hands and wonders where he has gone so wrong in his life to have such a ing awful hangover right now.

Though he has to say that he’s surprised that Joonmyun didn’t see through his little lie just now. The younger always has an uncanny ability to know whenever he is lying and even though Joonmyun has never done anything to make him uncomfortable, it still unnerves him that he can be read so easily. This is why he hates lying to the younger. 

But it’s really not like he can come clean and say, “I’m sorry Joonmyun, I wasn’t able to take your call last night because I was busy having with the funeral director responsible for my dead boyfriend, your dead best friend’s memorial service. Well, isn’t the weather bright and sunny today?”

Who is he to lecture Joonmyun about terrible life choices when the whole of last night was a huge mistake? He bites his lower lip as he recalls the events of last night, his cheeks flushing at the memory of riding Jongdae and the other’s name shamelessly.

(Okay, he admits to himself, maybe he enjoyed the mistake a little more than he should last night.)

Mistake or not, he is determined not to dwell on it any longer. His mind should be on more important things, like Luhan's memorial service tomorrow.

He pads into the bedroom where Luhan's uniform lies on the bed, all spotless and perfectly pressed. It was the one they collected from Luhan's hotel room in Rome, the exact one he was supposed to wear as he captains the plane home over the clouds and the distance separating them. 

The one he never got to wear one last time. How fitting that it will also be the one to clothe him as his body integrates into ashes and earth. 

Minseok runs his fingers over the texture of the jacket and the shirt, smiling at how dashing Luhan had looked in the uniform and how he will sometimes dust off imaginary loose threads and lint off the jacket before the other leaves for work, just so that he can play the part of the domesticated husband he has always wanted to be to his lover.

He does it again, his fingers brushing off imaginary specks of dust even though he knows there isn't any, as a single tear escapes down his cheek but the loving smile never leaves his face.

Luhan will look dashing and perfect as they say goodbye to him tomorrow and Minseok thinks that it's still no easier to let him go.

Remembering something else, he rummages through the closet until he comes across a worn-out leather jacket with fur lining the collar. He has already decided that this will be placed in the coffin, wrapped around Luhan during the cremation because this was the other's favorite jacket and he will never be able to live with the regret that they have sent Luhan off without any of the other's favorite things.

He brings the collar of the leather jacket to his nose and breathes in fervently, committing the scent of its previous owner into the deepest corner of his memories.

The more he clutches the jacket to his chest, the harder it gets for him to part with it. But this is the third step of moving on and the seven days are almost up, he tells himself and he stuffs the jacket and the uniform into their protective covers before leaving the house.

("Luhan, where did you put the- Why are you wearing my jacket again?"

"Because I love it, because it has your smell and because I want it to smell like me too so that everybody will know that you're mine when you wear it out."

"You're ridiculous."

"Says the one who wears my grey hoodie to sleep every night.")

For the millionth time today, Jongdae checks his phone for any missed calls or texts and really, he should know better than to feel the ache of disappointment upon finding there was none. 

If it wasn't for the urgent phone call from a certain worker with heart-shaped lips and a fury to match hell's fire, he would have skipped work, preferring to hide himself under the covers for the entire day because then, he wouldn't need to think.

(Under the covers, he is able to remember what it felt like to have Minseok writhing and panting under him, his wandering hands memorizing all the details of skin, curves and collarbones.)

But here he is now, preparing for the memorial service of his late-night guest's boyfriend. Dead-but-obviously-still-very-much-present-in-Minseok's-heart-and-mind boyfriend.

Irony has never hit this hard. 

He doesn't even understand half the feelings and thoughts assaulting his heart and mind: all the disappointment, guilt and the loss of something close to him. It's not like he loves Minseok; he knows that it's ridiculous and foolish to love someone he barely knows and that such a love brings nothing but heartache and regrets.

But no matter what his mind tells him, he has come to realize the strong attraction he feels towards Minseok that breaks his logic, rationale and the thick wall he has learned to build around himself in the long three years. His mind states plainly that the other is just another person, someone he can definitely live without, but his heart whispers that he really wouldn’t want to try.

With all these thoughts, Jongdae turns at the corner to see Kyungsoo crouching and swearing while trying to gather the objects scattered all over the floor. He smiles and proceeds to help the other out. "Mind telling me what happened?"

The smaller male scowls, his heart-shaped lips suddenly not so lovely now. "Why don't you go and ask Oh Sehun and Huang Zitao why the they were riding their bicycles indoors. I mean if they are not too busy each other's face off."

"I gather that I'm not the only one who has accidentally walked into their make-out session in this vicinity." 

Kyungsoo throws a glare at Jongdae, his cheeks slowly turning red and no one knows whether it's from anger or embarrassment. "Our clients almost walked into them while they were each other's name."

"Ah but luckily you were there to stop them, see Kyungsoo this is why you're my favorite." Jongdae chuckles, knowing that flattery doesn't work on the smaller male but trying anyway and is rewarded with a small smile hanging on the other's lips. He gathers a leather jacket and some kind of uniform wrapped in its protective cover.

"The outfit that Mr. Kim prepared for Mr. Luhan's memorial service tomorrow. Isn't it splendid, it's an actual captain's uniform! Pity that it is going to be burned up though.”

Mr. Kim. Luhan. Minseok.

"Was Minseok here just now?" He tries to keep his excitement and anxiousness veiled as he voices the question but somehow his face must have betrayed him because Kyungsoo is eyeing him with an expression that his mother used to put on when she caught him bringing stray puppies back from the streets. 

"He left quite a while ago. Why? Is there something going on between you and this Mr. Kim Minseok?"

He leaves the question unanswered and pushes the uniform and the leather jacket into the other's hands. "Shouldn't you pass this to Ryeowook-hyung? I think he is waiting."

Kyungsoo shakes his head, his eyes silently expressing his disapproval but doesn't say anything as he hurries off.

It is only when the other's footsteps fade away that Jongdae notices the object left in a corner on the floor. It appears to be some sort of keychain, a thick metal sheet with an odd-shaped depression and he soon realizes that the depression is actually for the tiny key, which is attached to the metal sheet, to rest in it. For some reason, he deems the keychain interesting enough to pocket it without much thought.

The first thing that Minseok does when he walks up and enters the glass house is to gasp at how everything was arranged. 

He is glad that he was resolute in his decision, even if they had to wait for a week because he was right; the glass house in the garden was the perfect place to hold Luhan’s memorial service. Sun rays stream in through the glass, warming all their grieving hearts just a little bit and reminding them of the way Luhan used to brighten up their days with a smile and a joke. The blue sky and its wandering white clouds can be seen from every corner of the house and Minseok’s heart is comforted as he imagines Luhan smiling and gazing at the boundless sky from his coffin.

White roses fill the area and hanging on the walls are the numerous paper cranes, folded by the public as a symbol of their condolences. At the front of Luhan’s coffin is the beautiful portrait drawn by Yixing, capturing the soft-doe eyes, slender nose and the way a bright smile graces his lips; facial features that Minseok already misses dearly.

He heads slowly to the coffin, tearing up at how peaceful and content Luhan looks. He half-expects the other to open the gorgeous pair of eyes groggily, rubbing the sleepiness away while grinning a lazy smile, only laughing when he realizes that he has slept the night away in his uniform again (a tiny melodious laugh that Minseok records in his heart). But he knows that Luhan is never going to open those delightful eyes again; he only hopes that wherever his lover is, it’s a better place. His fingers caress the cheeks of the other, cold to his touch but still lovely and he places a gentle lingering kiss on the other’s forehead.

“Goodbye, my little prince.”

Minseok was wrong. 

Funerals doesn’t just consist of lists because many have come to the service, sharing what Luhan meant to each of them and in each of their eulogy, Minseok feels the presence of the other strongly and finally, he is no longer fearful that one day, he will look back wondering if Luhan was just a figment of his imagination. Because now there are people out there who have been loved and touched by the other, just like him; a community of people that he can always go to whenever he wants to talk about Luhan.

Today is where they say goodbye as the captain makes his final journey but it is also a celebration of the other’s life and what he came to represent to them: love, friendship, brotherhood, kinship, courage, loyalty and self-sacrificing.

In the middle of Yixing’s eulogy, Minseok feels the sudden presence of someone beside him and when he turns, his heart lurches at Jongdae’s handsome smiling face.

“Hi.” Jongdae says simply but Minseok sees the sea of words that the other is desperate to let out, questions that the other is afraid to ask and he himself is afraid to answer.

“Hi… This place is lovely. Thanks for all that you have done to make this easier for all of us.” He looks away and retreats into himself again, a bad habit he has whenever he faces a situation he is unwilling to deal with, and he is pretty damn sure that Jongdae sees through his defences. 

“Minseok, we need to talk.” His tiny wrist is gripped by Jongdae’s strong hand and he’s not sure whether he can put up a fight anymore.

“I-”

Right at this moment, soft sobs can be heard all over the place through the sound system and Minseok is the first to react, flinging Jongdae’s hand away as he goes to Yixing, cradling the younger and leading him down the platform before handing him over to Yifan’s gentle arms. 

Minseok sticks close to Joonmyun and Jongin after the encounter, never leaving their side and looks away, pretending that he doesn’t feel Jongdae’s stares on him and the aching guilt pumped straight into his heart with every heavy breath he takes.

For some reason, Minseok has refused to give a eulogy and no one has the heart to persuade him otherwise, making Joonmyun the last to speak. 

“Most of you probably know Luhan as the first Chinese commercial pilot to rise to the rank of captaincy in South Korea. And he is definitely someone very deserving of the title because he is absolutely devoted to his job and flying. Even though he may seem playful, he is extremely serious when it comes to his work and he is always willing to go the extra mile just so that each and every passenger will have a comfortable and safe flight. He always says that whenever he wears the pilot’s uniform, a heavy responsibility rests on his shoulders, a responsibility to bring every passenger safely back home and to have families reunited. 

What I admire about Luhan the most is the generous heart he has for everybody, always giving and never asking for anything in return. I remember when we were still in the pilot training program, I didn’t like him very much because he seems the kind of guy who has everything without putting in any effort and who seems to take everything in a flippant manner. But I was wrong because he studied hard every day, making sure he understood everything in theory before he steps into a plane. I saw him as a rival but he has never thought the same about me or anyone else in the class, always willing to share his notes and tutoring after classes. When I got the Silver Eagle badge, he came up to me with sincere happiness for me and it was then that I realized that he is someone I will become friends forever.

He stood by me through everything, once even screaming at me while dousing me with water when I get so drunk after a bad break-up. If it wasn’t for him, I would never have the courage to ask Jongin out. He was the one who told Jongin not to give up on me after a huge fight between us because he knows that I’m difficult to love but that I will also break if Jongin ever leaves me.

Luhan loved each and every person in his life in different ways. I’m just glad that we remained friends all the way to the end and that he loved me through all my imperfections and flaws. 

Even though he led a short life, he has shown himself to be a fine example of what it is like to be a good friend and a good lover. He will always be in my thoughts and I will always look up to him.

Thank you, hyung for all that you have done for us.”

Minseok is halfway through his conversation with Yifan when Jongdae pulls him indoor, pinning him against the wall as he stares fearful and frustrated at the taller but he tries to sound placid (his heart really isn’t all that calm though) when he breaks the silence first. “I’m glad I asked you to sing, you sounded good just now. Will you ever consider going back to singing? I talked to Yifan just now and he really wants you back on the stage-”

“Minseok, please just stop avoiding me.” 

“I’m not.” His face burns with the intensity of Jongdae’s gaze on him and he pushes the other away.

“Okay then, let’s talk.”

“I don’t know what you want to talk about! There’s nothing going on between the two of us. I am just your client and you are just someone who is responsible for my boyfriend’s funeral. The memorial service has officially ended and this is where our business ends, Jongdae.”

Minseok’s eyes widens with horror and regrets the moment the words are out of his mouth but it is so hard to take them back now, especially when Jongdae’s face hardens and his stare piercing. “Is that so?”

“Hey Jongdae-hyung!” 

A young blond walks briskly towards them and they immediately draw apart, Minseok training his eyes away from the other two while Jongdae’s voice fills with frustration as he turns to Sehun.

“Sehun, what do you want now?” 

“You left your keys in the glass house so I’m returning them to you. … Am I interrupting something here?” The blond narrows his eyes at them curiously as he hands Jongdae a bunch of keys. 

Minseok glances at the various objects in Jongdae’s hand and he freezes, his heart hammering in his chest as he tries to make sense of the situation, of what fate has thrown at him and especially of the relationship between him, Jongdae and Luhan.

“Yes, you are. So please ing see yourself out.”

“Tsk, not even a word of thanks.” 

His mind couldn’t focus on anything but the specific object in Jongdae’s grip so when the taller pockets the bunch of keys, he panics and grabs the other’s hand instinctively. “Take it out.”

 “… Take what out?”

He knows that Jongdae is beyond confused by his sudden command and the abrupt shift in his behavior but he has to make sure. “The keys!” 

Jongdae visibly flinches at the panic in Minseok’s voice and he does what he is told, concern growing when he sees the way the smaller’s face pales while gaping at his bunch of keys. “Minseok, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me.”

Minseok has only seen the object once in his life but it is something he can never forget because with it, is a memory he can never shake off. Quite literally. “That keychain with the tiny key… Where did you get it?”

“I found it lying on the floor yesterday.”

“Do you know what kind of lock the key can open?” Minseok’s stares blankly at the tiny key, the fateful memory striking his heart.

(“This lock represents my heart and now it’s locked around your wrist, meaning that you will always have my heart, no matter if I’m here with you or far away from you.”

“Why does it sound like you’re just trying to lock me up?”

“Because I am! As long as this lock remains closed around your wrist, you are not allowed to love anybody else.” 

“But you’re the only one who can open it so… I’m stuck with you forever.”

“Of course! … But if you ever meet somebody who loves you more than I do and who is able to make you happier than you are now, just tell me and I will release the lock from you because all I want is for you to be the happiest, even if it’s not with me.”

“Please don’t say that. You have given me all that I have wanted and needed and I will never love anybody else like I love you.”)

Slowly, Minseok raises his hand and pulls the sleeves up to reveal a metal bracelet on his left wrist, his eyes glazing with the memories as he gazes at Jongdae who begins to understand what all of this is about. 

Gently holding Minseok’s wrist, Jongdae lowers the tiny key into the lock on the metal bracelet, releasing a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding when he turns the key and the clasp around the smaller’s wrist opens.

“It’s finally unlocked. …. Y-You’re the one who opened it.” The tears welling in Minseok’s eyes drop down his cheeks and once again, Jongdae wipes the tears away. 

For once, Minseok recalls the way Jongdae held his trembling body and sang him to sleep over the phone when he was unable to fall asleep. He recalls the way the taller made him feel on that special night, the way their bodies fitted together and the way he felt safe and secured when the other has expressed nothing but love and adoration to him. 

Perhaps, just perhaps, Jongdae can love him as much as Luhan did.

This was his last thought as he closes the gap between them and the other responds, their lips melting together perfectly, just like the first time. 

HEHE.

All I can say is that be prepared for a huge plot twist next chapter!

Also I'm really thankful for all the new subscribers and comments!