A/N: If you want to really "feel" this fic, I suggest listening to Infinite's Paradise or any heart breaking song!

“You're Kim Sunggyu aren't you?” The voice asked and Sunggyu just nodded. He didn't wanted to show his face. If he did, this person would probably run away, but if he didn't, the person would think he was some sort of maniac. He had to do something, or come up with an excuse for why he wasn't showing himself. “I have a cold...so excuse me for not showing my face...” it was an horrible excuse, and Sunggyu was a horrible liar, but this person didn't need to know that. For all he knew, this person was going to leave in about five minutes. “I'm your knew landlord...I just wanted to introduce myself.” New landlord? Since when? What happened to the woman that owned the whole building? The person who didn't cared about his face and body, but about his money. For her, all people were the same.

She just wanted her money and no physical contact with anyone. He was actually sure she never noticed him fully, and that was why she allowed him to live there. “What...what happened to...” Before he could talk, the person, or better, the man in front of him, started talking. “My aunt? She decided to leave for some exotic country with her new boyfriend and left this building to me. It's not what I imaged doing at 21, but then again, it's a good way to win money and still do whatever I want. And I bet that she'll dump her boy-toy as soon she sees a new one and-” He continued talking, non stop, like the two of them were long time friends, like they knew each other forever. Sunggyu couldn't help but be confused. Why was this man talking so much? He didn't want to hear, he didn't want to keep listening to that voice. He just wanted to lock himself on his small apartment and be left alone.

“Hey, why is your house so dark? Light would do you good! And how can you see yourself in the mirror with this darkness? You know, my house is full of mirrors because..:” If only this person knew. If this person knew how much he hated mirrors. If this person knew how much he hated to see his reflection, even if it was in a small spoon. Every time he looked at his reflection he would see how ugly he truly was, how much of a freak he was. “My aunt told me you were about my age, maybe just a little older. That's awesome! I mean, the other people here are old couples or middle age men so it's no fun and we” Again, he continued looking but Sunggyu wasn't paying attention to anything he was saying. He was starting to feel his hands shacking, cold sweat running down his face. This was probably the most someone talked to him and it was making him really uncomfortable, to say the least.

“Excuse me...I'm not feeling well..” it wasn't a lie this time. He was getting dizzy, he was feeling like he was about to throw up if he continued listening to that voice. It was hard. If he was normal, he would probably engage into a very interesting conversation and who knew? They would probably become friends. But no. He couldn't even afford to think something like that. If he showed his face, this man would run away and since that he was now his landlord, he would kick him out of his house, and he would have no place to go. “Oh right, your cold!”

The man said with a small smile on his face, like he was apologizing for talking so much. “Anyways, just wanted to tell you who I am and that if you need something or if you want to complain about the neighbors, I know how annoying these people are, just call me! The number is the same as my aunt's!” Sunggyu just nodded, getting ready to close the door. He didn't cared if he looked rude. Why would he? He didn't knew this person at all. “My name is Nam Woohyun. Maybe one day we could hang out?” He asked with a sparkling smile on his face. Sunggyu couldn't help but be jealous. He once had a smile like that. He once made people melt when he smiled like that. He once had those looks. He had looks that could be mature and cute at the same time. He had an eye smile that made women and some men go after him. Just like this Nam Woohyun, he had it all. But now, he had nothing. How jealous he was of this man he couldn't put it in words.

“Bye.” Was all Sunggyu and he closed the door. He couldn't believe the anger he was feeling inside. This man had done nothing, he didn't said a word to offend him. On the contrary, he was friendly and ready to help if Sunggyu needed. But then again, maybe that was one of the reasons he already couldn't stand that man. Nam Woohyun was the perfect vision of someone who had a good, happy life. No worries, a good family, good friends who loved him no matter what he did. He could do something incredibly stupid and he would still be adored by everyone. It all showed in that smile that only lasted two seconds. “It was nice to meet you Kim Sunggyu!”

He heard the man said with a excited voice. After a while Sunggyu heard him leave he could feel his anger disappear, only to be replaced by a big feeling of jealousy. What he would do to be like Nam Woohyun. He would give his life if had to so he could look that happy. He didn't cared about looking as he did. He gave that dream up a long time ago. Now all he wanted was to have a chance to be happy.

Walking away from the door, Sunggyu looked at his reflection on the mirror. He didn't knew why he had that thing there. It was bad already he had the one on the bathroom, because he needed it, but seeing this one, noticing how pitiful he looked at that moment, he lost it. He could see his face, how it was now and he could swear he saw the face how he was before. He could see that face mocking him, showing how he had lost everything and that he deserved what happened to him. The perfect, flawless face was laughing at him and the more that face laughed, all Sunggyu could do was cry and feel hopeless. Even his imagination was against him. You're nothing but a failure. You should just die. He heard a voice on the back of his head. It was his own voice, telling him the truth, what should happen. It will end your pain. Just die. No one will care. You're alone. He looked at the mirror and saw his once perfect face transforming into something horrible, into something that belonged to horror movies, something that wasn't real.

As he saw it, he didn't held it anymore. He literally jumped towards the mirror and with his closed fist, he broke the mirror in one, strong movement. It was all it took for the mirror to break into millions of small pieces. It all happened too fast, but for him, it happened in slow motion. As he was about to break the mirror, he could still see his face before the scars, saying he was nothing but a freak who would die alone. Pieces felt on the floor and some felt right into his hand, cutting his fair skin. Tears started running down his face and he couldn't stop them. It wasn't because of the pain he felt on his hand, but the pain he felt on his heart. It was too overwhelming. He was so tired. He was mentally and physically exhausted. The more he tried, the worst it got. He was starting to go insane. He was starting to hear voices who told him he should just disappear and never comeback.

Slowly, he removed his hand from the center of the broken mirror and gave a couple of steps back. He looked at the broken piece in front of him and all he saw was his reflection multiple times. He wasn't seeing the perfect reflection anymore. He was now seeing the weak, scarred face. Words couldn't describe how he felt that moment. He didn't felt relief and he didn't felt any happiness for breaking the god damn thing. All he could feel was his body heavier than before and his head spinning, like he was about to faint.

The thoughts were taking over him, that he didn't even noticed his hand bleeding. It was a small cut. It were multiple cuts. Deep cuts. The glass inside only made it worst. The blood was covering his hand, but he still didn't felt anything. His whole body was numb, like his soul left his body. But...hasn't is soul left him a long time ago? He cheated death. This was the price. A miserable, horrible life was the price to pay for escaping death. But who wanted to live in a world where you had nothing to live for?

Drop by drop, the blood started falling on the floor. He heard the drop hitting the wooden floor. He looked down and saw his hand covered in red and the floor starting to have small drops. He didn't entered in panic, he didn't went running to his bathroom, he didn't even thought about going to the hospital to get stitches, that he clearly needed. No. all he did was sit under the broken mirror who was still hanging on the wall and look at the blood dripping from his hand. He should be in pain, in a excruciating pain, but all he felt was...nothing. He couldn't feel a thing. The mirror pieces around him were starting to get stained because of his blood falling, but he didn't cared. He just stood there, on the floor with his eyes closed. He wished he could feel something. Anything at all. He wanted to feel pain, he wanted to start crying because he couldn't handle how much it hurt, but all he could do was stare to his hand, dripping more blood that before.

As he looked he couldn't help but think. He wasn't afraid of death. No. Not at all. He was, just like every human being, afraid to die alone. That was what he was scared of. If he died at that moment, no one would care. No one would notice and no one would miss him. So what was the point of continued living? He grabbed a big piece of the mirror and saw the reflection of his eyes. He was so proud of his eyes before. It was thing that he had loved about himself. They were small, but he love them. It made him look different, special. Now, they were the window of his horrible, painful life.

For a second, just a second, he closed his eyes, but when he opened them and looked to the piece, he saw Nam Woohyun. He couldn't help but be scared. He threw the mirror far away and he could feel his heart beat increasing and he started hyper-ventilating. Why that happened he didn't know, but all he knew was that it couldn't happen again. He had to stop comparing himself to Nam Woohyun, he had to stop feeling that anger and jealousy every time he thought about the other man. He had to realize the other man wasn't the responsible for his current state. Nam Woohyun wasn't responsible for him wanting to die at that exact moment. He was only being incredibly selfish and had to stop living in such a pretend world, before it was too late.