Yeonjung wanted to feel secure, she wanted to believe that she was safe but the guilt was festering within her. The person she was, that little bit of human within in her cried at the thought of her family being killed. Yet the most recent side of her, and the strongest part said that it was necessary. She was the one that caused all of the conflict so it was up to her to resolve it. She was incapable of fighting for sure, and Sunggyu would never let her close to the area anyways. But if she left ahead of time perhaps she could stop them, if she met the humans ahead of time she might be able to convince them to stop. But she knew that if she went down there, all she would get would be talked down comments. Hyoheon would bring up her need to be special, he would tell her that she could be all that at home. He would call her childish and say she should let the men do the talking. If her parents were even there, well, she couldn’t do anything. They weren’t even hers anymore, even Zuko would be fading into the background. He would be some other human, instead of her brother. So what was worth it? Was it a sign of betrayal if she did nothing, if she just stood by and watched as her people, the ones she used to love and trust with her soul were destroyed?

Yeonjung closed her eyes and leaned against the side of a tree. The bark was bristling against her back with her every move, the cloth was only a thin barrier between it and her. She had imagined she would feel pain, but instead there was only a faint tickle against her back. Whenever she shifted she could smell the sharp scent of the wood and moss against her nose. It was relaxing to her, the freedom from the scent of mud and metal had her reeling. She never realised how just the scent of her village had dragged her soul down, it wasn’t something that was easy to notice when it was all she had smelt. Such thoughts did nothing for her stress. Who was she? She was no longer Hyunsu, but was she Yeonjung? Could she claim that she had gotten so far? Her gloved fingers clenched around her knees as she tried to focus. The whole fight was because of her, the humans were going to war to steal her away, and the Fae were going to war to save her. She never imagined such things would occur. If she had known that they would have, she was not sure what she would have done. She knew her life was sparse as a human. She had simple pleasures, but she new that her future was not one that would ever enjoy. But as a fae, living the life that let her soul rest, that life demanded the blood of her people. The life she was so tempted to fall into demanded that she release all bonds to the humans and fully claim the title of protector. It told her to move past the fear and anger, and become twisted and confused. If she were to be a fae she would soon seek what they did, to protect their own. But their version of protection included tormenting the humans, drawing the civilization as close to ruin as possible. Yet their kindness, it was just as strong as their blood ridden anger. They would do anything they could for the ones that they value. To be kin, meant that nothing could hold back the fire. It meant that no matter what happened, they would always seek out their family and nurse them to health. The duality of both worlds confused her. There was no perfect society that she could slip into. There was no riveting world of beauty and peace, not on either side. What was she meant to do when she didn’t even know what was right?

“You’re deep in thought,” L’s footsteps were light against the planks. Yeonjung had not noticed his arrival until the light musk of leather and berries filled her senses. His eyes were upon her, dark and knowing. She could feel his emotions against her skin, the sheer force of his intent was clear to her. It made her wonder, if that was normal for them. If they felt everything as surely as she did in that moment. “What are you looking for?” He spoke as he sat down beside her. His questions spurned her to open her eyes and look at him.

“Direction,” Yeonjung said. Her lips were weak, not able to pull into the smile she wanted. Instead her burning eyes were focused on him, helpless and confused. She wanted to pull the answer out, she wanted to know what to do but-

“You don’t need direction,” his voice was soft, quieter than the rustling of the leaves around her. L gently reached out and put his hand on top of hers, urging the tense fingers to release their grip on her knee. “You want absolution, but you’re afraid of it.” He could feel her, just as she felt him. Her emotions were becoming more clear, and he felt as though she were safe. Safe from the world, and safe from worries, he just had to convince her of the truth. “We finish this for you.”

“If you start something, you have to finish it,” Yeonjung leaned her cheek against the rough bark so she could see him better. She hadn’t ignored the boys when they tried to tell her about their own beliefs. Rather, a lot of them mirrored her families own beliefs. But one thing the fae had pushed was the need for a definitive end. In order to restore balance, they believed there must always be a start and an end. But the thought of ending it made pricks of tears hit her.

“None here would look down on you for not being the one that ends this.” He gently pulled her hand into his, and rubbed her wrist with his thumb. L understood the stress of choices, his life had not been without defining moments. He knew he had never had the stress of choosing between his family and his past, but he had held lives in his hands. He had situations where he had to choose whose blood would be spilt. It was a terrifying task, but everything had its place. “My brothers and I, we would be honoured to resolve this for you. Your kin is willing to fight, they are readying now to protect you. Not just from the humans, but from this resolution.”

“I’m weak,” her voice was weak. Yeonjung did not speak softly because of her control, she spoke so quiet because being any louder would be like making a choice. She felt as though the very trees around them were rustling with anticipation, like the birds below them were preparing to gossip about her actions. Nature itself was waiting to hear whose blood would be spilt, and that terrified her.

“No, you’re young. You couldn’t be expected to fight, you have learnt less than even Sungjong, and he will not be allowed to join either.” L’s warm fingers remained twisted with hers as he spoke. He knew that the others were waiting, they wanted to see how she was. But they were too scared to show their true emotions to her. They had spent so long treating her as an opposer that accepting her was still hard. Yes, Woohyun and Sungyeol were kind and open, but they used that as a mirror. Their kindness was a mask for their wariness. Sunggyu was even with all his reactions, holding the group together as he should, and Sungjong was still a child. He was full of curiosity that seemed insatiable. She may have been theirs, but they still had to accept the change in dynamic. She was no longer the human raised fae, she was human turned fae. She was their kin, but she had not been their blood.

“I don’t think I could, even if I knew how.” Yeonjung gripped his hand tighter, collapsing against him. She felt so weak, she felt unprepared for the future ahead of her. Because L was right, she had made her choice, she had made it a long time ago. She made it the moment she looked Dongwoo in the eyes. She was meant to be one of the fae, her life before had only prepared her for the change, and gave her the willingness to change. So she rested her head on his shoulder without fear, instead she just felt the chill of apprehension. “I have already said goodbye.” She said as she stared at the branches around them.

“Then we will take care of the rest for you.” L had tensed at her first actions, but allowed her to remain against him. He could feel her spirit quiver from her worry, he could feel it all, and that worried him. She was feeling so fully, there was nothing in her but her thoughts, so there was nothing to tether her in the moment. “Is there anything that we can do?” The very question was odd on his lips, he hadn’t been the most helpful of fae in his life. Yet there he was giving her a chance to let him move for her.

“Please, don’t kill everyone.” Yeonjung said, her voice was hollow as she said her one request. “They can’t all be bad, they can’t be.” She could feel her voice crack more than she had heard it. She refused to believe that everyone she had ever loved was evil, that every human that existed in her life was twisted and bitter. She knew some humans were, she knew Hyoheon was one of the worst, and she discovered Zuko was falling down the same path. But Jinki was still as sweet as he always had been, and Sooki was her trusted friend. There were so many children that deserved to live and have their eyes filled with wonder, not fear.

“I will bring it up to the council,” L spoke warily, unsure what promises he could make. Fae were not the kindest when it came to war. Small fights to large battles, they fought to show humanity their worst selves during it. But he agreed, perhaps the adults were unsalvageable but he had the innocence in the children. He had felt their love and pure trust, and he knew if they spared the human children they could find them homes. Perhaps not with the fae, but there were many creatures that would accept children into their midst. The adults however, they were too old to change. They would have to be escorted to the next town, they would not be able to remain no matter their claims. To provoke the fae meant to lose their homes, they would be nomads if they couldn’t bring themselves to change.

“Thank you,” Yeonjung let go of his hand and stood up, staring morosely down towards the forest floor. She could not see much as the distance was too far, but she knew that down below the ground was lying in wait and thirsty for the blood that was to be spilt later that day. Everything was changing and there was nothing she could do to watch. Perhaps she would regret her lack of action, it was possible after all. Yet when she watched L stand up and smile at her, and watched his fingers grasping at his mask, caressing the dark material, she knew she could live with it. Because something within her had changed. She was no longer human, and she knew that even if she had loved the humans, that they had to be stopped. So she would let him leave her behind, and she would sit with the children to help them settle, and she would rest until the end. Because that was what was right for her.