(Jonghyun’s POV)

I still can’t believe that Kibum actually left the building. Was he really that pissed because we tried to force him to eat when he looked completely starving?

I knew manger-hyung was pissed too and was taking it out on poor Onew-hyung who just stood there and apologized for Kibum.

And the most worried one was Taemin. He buried his head in between his knees, blaming himself for angering Kibum in the first place. Minho looked worried and paced up and down the place, annoying the out of me.

I tried calling Kibum, knowing that he took his bag with him when he left. But to my surprise no one answered and the line was cut off. I was a bit angered that he actually turned off the phone when he knew it was me calling.

When we got home to our cosy little apartment, everyone took turns to have a shower and piled onto the couch in the living room. We were all silently waiting for Kibum to come home. I felt like going out to find him but I knew that wasn’t going to be the wisest decision.

After who knows how long the front door opened and we all glanced worriedly as Kibum entered. He removed his hoodie and seemed surprised to see us here.

I knew the others too saw how pale he looked as if he had just been sick but as Onew was about to ask, Kibum broke into a smile. “Hey guys…I didn’t think you will be back this early” That could’ve been made into our records as Kibum’s most awkward lines.

 “Hyung!” Taemin jumped off the couch and hurried over and hugged Kibum tightly around the waist. “I was so worried! We were all so worried! I’m so sorry hyung, I shouldn’t have forced you to eat, I’m really sorry!” Taemin apologized, still hugging Kibum. But Kibum just stood there, looking more than uncomfortable with the maknae hugging him. “It’s okay Taeminnie…sorry for making you all worried”

He shrugged away from Taemin and moved towards the bathroom.

“I’m going to take a shower and sleep…I promise to make dinner later”

I was about to protest when Minho elbowed me and gave me a stern look.

Kibum disappeared into the bathroom and we all turned to each other.

“Yah Minho! Why did you stop me from asking where he went?” I whispered loudly.

He sent me another stern look. “Hyung, you saw how tired and worn out he looked. I don’t think he would answer you even if you asked.” I had to give in to Minho on that one. “I guess…” I said. Onew got up. “I have to have a talk to him after he finishes showering” We just all nodded and thought silently in our heads.

Taemin was once again the first one to break the silence.

“Key-hyung…he’s acting weird isn’t he?” I couldn’t agree more.

Sure Kibum wasn’t considered a normal child. He acts like a spoiled kid at times that literally makes everyone go insane. He could be heaps bossy and nagging like a mother hen but most of the time he was hyper. He had an endless bound of energy that none of us could keep up with, not even Taemin. Even after our tiring schedules with hardly any sleep, he could still run around like a child and continue to wake up extra early to make us breakfast and wash our clothes. Yeah and his rememorizing skills are no joke. From our songs to other songs from other groups he had them all rememorized in his brain, even the dances. He really is a unique one.

But I couldn’t see any of that in him today. He always had been lean and on the pale side but just then he looked like a ghost. I couldn’t help noticing how loose his clothes were fitting to his body. He really did look sick. This was worrying me heaps now…It was like he was evading from all of us.

Since me and Kibum got along the best and I’m proud to say that we’re seriously the perfect combination. Well…of course we fight from time to time but were really close. “Yeah…I’ll talk to him later” I said. They all seemed relieved that I was the one doing the talking and leant back against the coach. Minho patted my arm and smiled.

“I’m sure Kibum will tell you what’s going on, he always trusted you the most”

I didn’t know whether to jump for joy or to be feeling burdened in case Kibum doesn’t open up to me. So I just nodded. “I hope so”

(Key’s POV)

I averted my eyes away from my body as I stripped and entered the shower.

The hot water felt comforting against my skin as I quickly shampooed and used my favourite shower gel all along my body. I had taken my toothpaste with me and started scrubbing my teeth and tongue, getting rid of the putrid after taste of purging all that food. After I finished I grabbed a towel handing off the door and started drying my body, this was unavoidable as I looked at the mirror.

There were so many flaws that I had lost count counting. My thighs were thick like tree trunks. Disgusting. Only my stomach seemed concave for the moment. A small victory for purging all that food…

When I got out of the bathroom, I saw Onew-hyung walking towards me, but I avoided him and rushed into our shared bedroom and climbed up weakly to my bunk bed. I covered myself with blankets and realized how cold I was. I tried to will my body to sleep, but thoughts of all the imperfections on my body haunted my mind. It felt like war. I felt like all my energy was being right out of me, I wanted to give in. But I can’t, not when the member’s reputations are on the line. I need to work harder…much harder.