Want to hear another secret? I am in love with him.

I have been in love with him for as long as I can remember. But I can’t tell him. What if he doesn’t love me? What if it tears us apart?

[At Joo Eun’s house]

“Mom,” I called, “Where’s the remote control?!”

“I don’t know, I haven’t touched the remote since Leeteuk was here” my mother called back

I sighed in frustration, this always happens. Every time Teukie oppa came home for a visit and watched TV, the remote always ended up missing.

-If I have to go to the store and buy our 5th remote control, I will never forgive oppa-

But deep down, I knew I would always forgive him, no matter what.

I finally found the remote wedged in between the cushions of the couch (Oppa probably sat on the remote) and the TV to the local news channel.

“-is this a new scandal for Super Junior? Will Leader be able to explain this one to the public? More on this next week,” said the anchorman

Pictures of Teukie oppa with a cap, sunglasses and a mask flashed on the screen. But that wasn’t what made me gasp. It was the fact that a girl was next to him. Holding his hand.

I felt a pang in my chest and turned off the TV. It hurt me to see oppa with other girls. It hurt me to know that there are so many girls who are more beautiful than me and are willing to date him. But most of all, it hurt me the most to know that there was nothing I could do about it.

Ring!

The phone rang but I was too tired to pick it up. It stopped ringing on the third ring, letting me know that my mom had picked it up.

“Joo Eun, it’s Siwon,” she called to me

I perked up; Siwon oppa was my best friend. The one I could always talk to and knew all my secrets. Yes, ALL my secrets.

“Hello?” I picked up the phone

“Joonie!” a cheerful and familiar voice said on the other line

I laughed; he always knew how to cheer me up.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked

“You didn’t happen to watch the news, did you?” Siwon oppa hesitantly asked

My face fell, of course he would be worried about me, but it was the last thing I wanted to talk about.

“Yeah, I did,” I stated quietly

-Please don’t say it’s true, please don’t say it’s true-

“Hyung really is dating that girl, Joonie,” Siwon oppa finally said, “I thought you should know the truth,”

I swallowed hard,

“Y-yeah, I kind of figured that was the case,” I trailed off

There was a long silence

“Hey, why don’t you come to the studio?” he asked, “After practice we just have to do a recording for Bonamana, and then we can hang out,”

I smiled, hanging out with Siwon oppa always cheered me up. I took my time to get ready because I knew it would take a while before they finished recording.

“I’m going out Mom,” I said before leaving

“Okay, be careful” she said

[At the studio]
“Borggamargga, borggamargga, borggamargga na gateun namja
Bonchemanche, bonchemanche, bonchemanche doraseo bwado
Bogobwado, bogobwado, bogobwado na bagge eobtda
Bonamana, bonamana, bonamana na bagge eobtda”

Super Junior was just finishing up their recording when I got there. Siwon was at the very end closest to me in the recording room. He spotted me and waved smiling. The man who was in charge flipped a switch a smiled.

“Perfect, thank you all very much!”

One by one, the members of Super Junior filed out of the room bowing to the crew.

“Joonie!” Siwon came and hugged me, “I’m glad you came, Shindong hyung and Heechul hyung are no fun to play with,”

“YAH!” both Shindong oppa and Heechul oppa came over and smacked Siwon on the back

Siwon straightened up and glared. It was quite intimidating since he was so tall. I giggled at their antics because I knew they were just playing around.

All of a sudden, I spotted Teukie oppa. I was about to wave him over when the girl I saw in the pictures went up to him. She smiled and said something to make him laugh. Then he spotted me.

“Joonie, come over here,” he called to me

Now I had no way of escaping.

“Meet my girlfriend, Heejin,” he smiled at her and put his arm around her waist, “Heejinnie, this is my little sister I told you about,”

Heejin smiled and shook my hand,

“Oh, how cute,”

Great, it was going to be even harder to dislike her because she was so nice.

“We’ve been dating for a while now, but the media is just so nosy,” he said

“I know right?” Heejin said, “No matter what, though, I think we’ll last forever. Right, Teukie oppa?”

That did it; I was the only one who ever called oppa that. I covered my mouth before anyone could hear a sob and dashed out of there.

“Joonie!” I heard both Siwon oppa and Teukie oppa shout

I finally stopped running when I reached the park and sat down heavily on a swing. Suddenly my phone rang.
“Hello?” I muttered, wiping my tears

“Joo Eun? Are you okay?” my mom asked

“Yeah,” I said, “So, uh, what’s up?”

I did my best to sound like nothing was wrong,

“Well, it’s just, can you come home now?” she sounded worried

I told her yes and started to walk home. When I got home, my parents and an unfamiliar couple were sitting in the living room. The woman got up,

“My girl!” she hugged me

I stood there shocked; I turned to my parents,

“Mom? Dad?”

“Joo Eun, honey,” Mom began

Dad touched her arm, telling her to let him speak. She wiped her tears with a handkerchief and let him talk.

“Joo Eun, you are not our real daughter,” he finally said, “I know we should have told you earlier, but we didn’t want you to think that you were not part of our family. You are, you will always be our Joo Eun,”

He turned to the other couple, who were gazing at me.

“These are your real parents, Choi Sanghyun and Choi Jiyoung. They lost you when you were 4 years old in Seoul, that’s when we found you,” Dad said

“Joo Eun, we have been searching for you for years and couldn’t find you until we saw a picture of you in your graduation yearbook. We knew it was you the moment we saw you,” said Choi Jiyoung

“We were hoping that we could spend time with you,” said Choi Sanghyun, “We want to know our daughters as if you had grown up with us. Even though we just met you, we love you,”

I thought that was it; just get to know my biological parents. Then, my “mother” said something that changed my life forever.

“We want you to come back to England with us where we are currently living right now,” she said softly, “Whenever you are ready,”
I couldn’t believe it; leave Korea, the place I grew up? What about Mom and Dad? What about Siwon oppa? What about…….Teukie oppa? The more I thought about it, the more it seemed for the best. I would have many opportunities in England. And Teukie oppa……..he didn’t love me the way I loved him and would be very happy with Heejin.

“I-I want to go,” I stuttered, “I want to leave”

Mom and Dad looked at me with sad eyes,

“If that is what you want, darling,” Mom sniffed

My real parents left so I could spend some more time with my parents. I would be leaving in one week. I would leave my past here and start anew. Maybe I would fall in love there; maybe it was for the best.

I decided not to tell Teukie oppa and asked my parents not to as well. I didn’t want him to miss me; I wanted him to move on happily with his life.

[One week later]

“So, you’re all packed,” said Mom

We sat in my room staring at my suitcase. Suddenly, Mom burst into tears,

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay? Is there something we did wrong that made you want to leave us?”

I started crying too,

“You were the best parents I could ever have, no one can replace you” I said, “But I have to leave, I want something new, and I want to see the world. I won’t forget you, Dad, Siwon oppa, or Teukie oppa,”

“Joo Eun, we’re here!” called Jiyoung (I was still not used to called them Mom or Dad)

I gave my mom one last hug and left the house with Jiyoung. I looked back at the house that I grew up it. I will never ever forget it.

[At SM Entertainment]

NO ONE’S POV

Siwon couldn’t handle it. In one hour, Joo Eun would be leaving on a plane to England which was hundreds of miles away. It took everything he had not to tell Leeteuk hyung about it. Every time he saw Leeteuk hyung with that Heejin girl, he wanted to shout at him, shake him, and tell him that he would lose someone very special forever if he didn’t do something. But he didn’t, because he promised Joo Eun that he wouldn’t say anything.

They finished practice in the studio and changed to have lunch. Today was unusual, Leeteuk was usually happy and the most hyper. Today he seemed tired and unenergetic.

“Hyung, is something wrong?” Siwon asked

“Heejin and I had a fight,” he said, “And I’m not even sure if I really love her anymore, you know? It seems like since we started going out, all we do is fight.”

“What?” asked Siwon, not fully understanding what Leeteuk was saying

“Heejin is only interested in the handsome and charismatic side of me, she doesn’t even want to be seen with me if I want to be goofy or dorky,” Leeteuk drank some water, “I wish there was someone who appreciated me fully, not only for my charm but for my comedy as well,”

All the words Siwon held in for the past week exploded out,

“Are you so stupid?! You don’t even realize that the one person who’s loved you for who you are has been right next to you for 16 years!” the other members started staring but Siwon didn’t care, “Joo Eun has been in love with you for 16 years and you have been brushing her off like some dirt on your shoulder! She’s not even your real sister, hyung. And in one hour, she is going to be boarding a plane for England and she is never coming back!! Do you not care so much as to let someone go who has always been there for you? Who comforted you whenever you had a breakup? Who’s cared for you when you were sick? Who is the ONLY person who stuck by you when no one else would? Joo Eun, Joo Eun, and Joo Eun!”

Even though it was so much information at once, Siwon didn’t give a crap. He only cared that Leeteuk hyung left right this instant to go stop Joo Eun from leaving.

Leeteuk hesitated,

“Go stop her from leaving!” Siwon pushed Leeteuk out the door, “I’ll cover for you hyung!”

Finally grasping the situation, Leeteuk dashed out the door into a taxi while pulling on a hat, sunglass, and mask at the same time.

“To the Seoul International Airport please, and fast!”

[At the airport]
JOO EUN’S POV

“Are you ready to go?” Sanghyun asked

I nodded, I was about to turn to go into the plane when I heard a familiar voice.
“Joo Eun!”

I turned around and saw Teukie oppa running toward me, immediately tears sprung in my eyes. He finally got to me and pulled me into a hug,

“Stupid, why didn’t you tell me?!” he pulled back to look at me, “Why didn’t you tell me everything? That you were leaving? That…you loved me?”

I shook my head,

“I was afraid you wouldn’t love me back, that you would push me away.”

He smiled a gentle smile,

“I could NEVER push you away,” he whispered in my ear

With that, he carefully pressed his lips against mine as if asking for permission. I gasped; this was the one thing I’ve wanted the most for 16 years. And now, it was finally mine.
-----------
Thanks for reading!